Utterdespair, if you happen to still be lurking on tumblr,
I want you to talk to me, even if it's the form of "hate" or such Or if I become your next victim. Whatever the case may be.
I feel I can relate to how you acted, and I want to know if I'm truly not alone. I hate you, in a way, but even since you left tumblr I still feel curious.
And going through this tag, I feel no-one else actually understood the reason you did all of that.
I made another post, before your blog deletion, that stated the following:
"Confession type-thing here Apparently people are sending hate to this utterdespair blog, and personally, from what I’ve seen posted, I think you guys are getting the wrong idea of this person. From personal experience, I feel like I can understand this person. This hateful, person. I see a bit of my past self in them. And though I’m saying their actions can be explained, I don’t think they can be excused. They are doing this for the same reason I sent threats to one of my good friends, the same reason why I repeatedly had dreams of murdering my best friend, of my boyfriend dying on me. The same reason I told my good friend, now boyfriend, that I was never coming back, that I was committing suicide, and it was his fault. Coming back to taunt him about it, blocking him, and torturing him over time. I had slow thoughts that the word was meaningless, became detached of my emotions, and couldn’t stop smiling through my own pain as I became addicted to it. The same reason I became addicted to this feeling and couldn’t stop. The same reason I was confused and lost in a void of, well, utter despair. Why am I making this post? To tell you all to stop sending hate to utterdespair. Help them. They need it. They are not a trollblog, they are not heartless, as I’m seeing in their tag. They need serious help. From my understanding, at least."
I'm not sure if I can help you or even want to, however. As of now, I just more or less wish to talk to you, and I hope that isn't too hard of a request. And truthfully, I have no idea where I'm going with this.













