The Blue Oyster Cult were right. Do not fear the reaper. Embrace our brief lives and embrace one another.

Prior to working stuff out in therapy we used to watch ourselves talk a lot while our brain said 'lying, lying, lying!'

We'd look in the mirror and talk to the reflection. Tell it we hated it. That it was dishonest. Abandoned people. Hurt them. Was worthless. Deserved to die.

The thing is, when a person is so severely dissociated from their body and their experience they will sometimes be a helpless passenger in their own perspective as they act against their own self-interest as their activated nervous system propels them in directions they may not consciously wish to go.

Especially if there is identity based dissociation involved.

We fixed ourselves by adjusting our body to match our experience and then narrowed down the parts of our dissociated identity and ensured all needs were being addressed.

We do not look in the mirror with hatred any longer because we love our internal family and want them to be happy. Trying to steer one another to better habits is easier than futile exercises in 'self control'.

Poke at Juri! Show us how much she lies to herself! She's my favorite regal, cool, ikemen failgirl lesbian.

Core Lies ask meme. People send us a character. We interrogate what we believe their central false belief is.

Juri Arisugawa

Juri, from Revolutionary Girl Utena, is the captain of Ohtori's fencing team. Strong. Bold. Prideful. Sensible and accomplished.

Juri is one of the top ranking members of the school's society and serves as one of the duelists in Akio's game. She sticks strictly to the societal norms of the school's culture and does little to question or rebel against it.

She is, however, aware that she is oppressed by it.

Juri is a lesbian. In love with a former classmate of whom she was part of a toxic love triangle with.

Juri is also a mirror to the protagonist, Utena. They are both princely women who participate in the rose bride duels and have female love interests. Juri is a better duelist than Utena. Every time she loses it is because of her feelings of regret and desperation towards Shiori, the woman who hurts her and rejects her constantly. The woman she cannot get over.

In the first duel she, livid to see Utena walking the doomed path that she herself walked, demands to see a miracle that would bring about a success where she failed. Utena summons the power of Dios and a miracle happen.

The second duel she is emotionally torn apart by Ruka (of whom she is implied to have had sex with prior to the fight). Ruka chides that miracles can only be claimed via sacrifice.

Juri cannot let go. She is incapable.

Utena utilizes the power of Dios again. She was aiming for the rose but misses and instead rips her locket from her neck and exposes it. The image of Shiori sitting within.

She rips the rose off herself. Surrenders. Standing in the rain and allowing herself to just cry. To release the bitterness in her heart over Shiori. If only for a moment.

Juri's core lie within the text is simple "miracles are not real" but requires a deeper look to fully understand.

Her locket remains hidden under her uniform. She sits on the school council and aids the patriarchy of Akio's game despite it being a thing that limits her freedom. She holds on to bitterness and affection to Shiori years after the event, incapable of letting go.

Even at the end of the show she tells Utena that she thinks of herself as selfish and unable to release her emotions. She is consumed by repression and believes that this is the only way she can be, even after her defeat. Perhaps on a long enough timeline she will free herself.

But she's not willing to let go. She's not willing to sacrifice. She sees herself in Utena. But Utena never backed down. Never allowed the patriarchal system define her. Juri sides with the system. Utena rebels against it. One will aid the revolution of the abusive cycles. The other will aid in the revolution of tearing down Ohtori.

Juri believes nothing can be changed. That she cannot be changed. That she cannot actualize with the world as it is. That she cannot change the world. That her only choice is to hide her true heart, represented by the locket, and persist as the prestigious member of the school's society.

Juri is one of our favourite characters of all time.

She is potentially the most Camden coded character in fiction.

We love her. We hope that after Anthy leaves Ohtori that she heals and finds a nice woman out in the world.

For other core lie asks:

All three statements are true at once.

It's why "I", Wynn, exist.

We cannot handle feeling the anger that dwells inside of us. We push it down. Pressure it into our stomach. Try our hardest to not acknowledge it.

"I" am forced front when it escapes. When we cannot keep our reactions from overwhelming.

And then our nervous system, fully triggered, starts to shut down, tries to dissociate out of our body until there's only a clear "eye of the storm" clarity that exists within the raging tempest. Emotion still there but unable to be experienced. Just acknowledged. Something that is happening to us.

Is that not what our dissociative disorder is? Taking internal and external reality and experiencing it as something that is happening to us, rather than something that we are experiencing?

We hate it.

Feeling divorced from emotion. From experience. To be forged from a poison.

When we are safe, settled and grounded then there can be these pockets of time where "I" get to exist without our nervous system being activated.

It makes slips more distressing.

We got used to stability. Losing a grip on it becomes harder to handle.

We wish we were not what we are. We wish this body could handle rage or arousal without these physiological effects that cause us to spiral.

Expressing personality and connection on this webbed site requires effort that does not fit into the rapid pace of the current internet environment.

Often posts will be sent into the ether. If swept into the waves of the cyber sea then it'll return likes and reblogs. Some may even have little tags attached.

Meaningful replies and engagement are uncommon. An attribute offered on exceedingly rare occasions. If one is lucky then an interaction and addition may cement. Often the interactions are swept by the tide, though.

We enjoy the site for preservation. How posts from a decade prior remain alive. That the lifeblood is creating an external sense of culture. Small pools that have collective identity.

That is a beautiful thing. It serves as an alternate to endless DMs and chatrooms that have no intrinsic value but reward a sense of connection between the people involved.

It makes the effort feel worth it.

It remains our favourite social media.

It would just be full of ghosts and mementos. A prison of the past. A museum of hurt and upset.