#uszadar

Elyon. A very underdeveloped character for now. I keep putting their writing off because I don't feel like I can portray their story adequately just yet. Yet. They're half Khalani, half Nerazim, the oopsie baby of Zhakul and Tali and because of this mixed heritage, they struggle to “decide” who they want to be in a world where the Nerazim and Khalai society haven't really integrated yet. In a world where not many mixed protoss exist just yet, they fel like they don't really belong in either society and grow up shy and reclusive because of this.

Their end game was to become an Alyssar. Because this little bean is, like, so hungry for knowledge. You know how humans are inherently hungry for money? Elyon’s like that, only with information. Anything is fair game, from knowledge about botany, philosophy, terran theater plays, the way plasma based engines work, molecular structure of a sandwich, etc. They don't necessarily want to do anything with it, like become a doctor or a politician or even a scholar, they just want to have it, to know, to understand. Eventually a few centuries down the line, they move their ass to Ehlna and join the other Alyssar. 

You could also argue it's a coping mechanism. Elyon will live for centuries, like all protoss, but their terran family won't. The grief that strikes them when Jake passes away (and Zhakul's visceral reaction to it) as well as the horror of seeing Harper get older and older in front of their eyes while they stay young, frightens them. So they occupy their brain with other things just so they don't have to think about this, and learning about crop rotation and quantum entanglement seems to be the thing!! 

Elyon also keeps their cords uncut despite frequently feeling the societal presure to do otherwise. This is mostly because it's the only way they get to feel close to one of their fathers, Talizun, who is a previously mangled zealot currently enlosed in the shell of a dragoon. They especially begin to rely on this bond after Jake's passing.

Nanzak. A very tall, very lanky middle-aged protoss lady. (middle-aged for THEIR standard. So she's like 600 years old) Very quiet, reserved, may come off as cold, unfriendly or even mean to others, but really she just likes her peace and personal space.

She's a performer and a dancer originating from a nomadic tribe deep within the midnight deserts of Shakuras. I really like the idea that a sense of family and tribes is very strong within certain Nerazim communities and Nanzak comes from one. The desert tribes have a different outlook on life, which then takes shape in their customs and culture. She'd be considered sort of an outsider in the more urban areas, mostly because she sticks to her tribe's customs and doesn't want to mitigate it whatsoever. She's proud of who she is, very secure in her place in life and society and if someone doesn't like it, that sounds like a them problem. 

She's absolutely and irrevocably in love with her short husband, who she has like seven kids with (something very usual with the the protoss, since most have like two to three offsprings in life IN TOTAL) Speaking of-

Narzul. As mentioned previously, he's Nanzak’s short husband and a complete opposite of her when it comes to personality. He's social, loud, kind of a joker, open and curious. Also quite clumsy compared to her (everyone is clumsy compared to her)

He's a very skilled medic who was travelling all over Shakuras in his youth to quench his thirst of curiosity and that's how they met. They've been together for like four centuries now, have seven kids and are absolutely that couple in public that is way too comfortable with PDA. You know the one. He also absolutely will start talking about his wife and how much he loves her and how cool and perfect she is every chance he gets and won't shut up for hours. Your fault for asking.

After Haven and Shakuras boot up their diplomacy programme, he eagerly joins as the protoss's designated medic. Mostly because he's very very curious about terran medical science and wanted an excuse to to eagerly study it. Now he can do that while there's also so many terrans running around that he can talk to about their whacky boddies?? It's like a dream come true! (he WILL ask about your bowel movements nearly every morning buckaroo you better get used to it) which eventually leads to him being curious about different aspects of terran culture as well.

He also has a role as a sort of an emotional anchor (???) during the time Zhakul is expecting Elyon. This is an unplanned baby that neither Zhakul or Jake feel like they're ready for and are lowkey (highkey) panicking about it, especially Jake, who doesn't feel like he could ever be an adequate father figure to anyone ever. Narzul helps midigate that in a way only a wise old man that's seen it all can do.

Ulzea. The one thing I can say about her is that she’s very pink in my head. And that’s about it fjdvikjbvf

Funny how she’s existed for about *checks watch* fourteen years and there’s barely anything to say about her (even her name, Ulzea, was recycled from a different character that I renamed last year) This is because she was never really a person to begin with. I make it no secret that this entire AU is based off of my frequent daydreaming from when I was a teenager trying to cope with an unfavourable family situation. The thing with daydreams is that they make for an excellent distraction and are a good tool for coming up with ideas, but they make terrible stories when they’re put on paper, namely because of their overly long, complex and often nonsensical narratives that are more aimed to the be self-gratifying to the daydreamer rather than be fully realised, balanced stories.

But I digress. Ulzea is a victim of this. I think the best way to describe her would be that she’s to Zhakul what Vorazun is to Artanis during the events of LotV, that being that she acts as an exposition dump whenever he needs to listen to some Nerazim lore. Ulzea is worse than Vorazun, given that Vorazun is still, you know, a character of her own with her own personality and growth and so on. Ulzea never had this.

The reason why I never talked about her is because she’s essentially been written out of Zhakul’s story because of this. She was more of a narrative device for me to arrange my headcons about the Nerazim rather than anything else, which I achieved by having her dumping this information onto Zhakul, who only just got to Shakuras after living with terrans for some sixteen years and had no idea how to be a protoss. She’s just no longer needed as a character because Zhakul learns of his heritage in a more organic way, but recently I’m thinking about bringing her back if not for any other reason that she’s pretty (also because Zhakul just. Needs more protoss friends who are close to his age)

Uszadar. One of Narzul and Nanzak’s several babies. He lives in the more rural parts of Shakuras, specifically around the crater where the Xel’laga Temple is situated, but due to his lifestyle tends to be mostly nomadic. 

I have a terrible habit of fixating on small features and details in media that regular people don't tend to give a shit about, which is also a case here. I love the kakarus. I have loved them since I first played Brood Wars at the ripe age of six. They were my favourite critter in the entire game and stayed as such to this day as well. I always envisioned them as, like, flying mounts for the protoss because kiddie me was obsessed with dragons, dragon riders and the 2002 Dinotopia miniseries that featured the skybax. So big flying lizard-thing mean alien ride too, yes? 

Anyway, the joys of having my own AU means I can do whatever I want, so I say the protoss ride kakarus. It's mostly something done in the more rural parts of Shakuras because the more urban areas just use modern technology for the transport of cargo, people and messages. At this point it's the equivalent to how us humans keep horses. Something that used to be widespread and important for the function of society is nowadays mostly a hobby. Uszadar is mostly on the practical side of things, still utilising kakarus for transport and to reach the more rural parts of Shakuras, as well as doing conservationist work for the species, preserving their natural environment as well as studying them both in the wild and in captivity. 

Meaning that, yes, he's a horse girl. 

Zeredar. Once again, this is one of Nanzak and Narzul’s babies. She was originally gonna die during the second invasion of Shakuras but then my friends convinced me to let her live (boo) so she continues to unleash herself on the rest of the world. I see her as someone with a very dry sense of humour, which often makes her come off as rude or mean. She’s also the kind of person who can keep an absolute deadpan expression while telling the most hilarious joke you have ever heard. She’s also very dramatic and sassy, something she gets from her mother.

Funnily enough, however, I also see her as a fairly cheerful person, similar to how her father is, despite what her sense of humour may suggest. It’s a bit harder to see this side of her, you have to get to know her better first, but under all that sass and sarcasm, she has a generally positive outlook on life and people, doing what she can to see the best in everyone and everything. She’s very proud of her work and is confident in it's quality, similar to her oldest sibling, and is also a very confident person overall.

The injury she suffered during the invasion doesn’t slow her down one bit and she continues to find beauty and happiness in her life regardless of it.

Zhakul’s mothers

Yeahhhhhhh…they don’t have names ifgvidhvvd

I’m pretty sure you can see a trend by now aaaaaaaaaa

They’re just as old as him, turning 14 years this year, but unlike him, they're are barely concepts. Which is fine in the case of this particular story, given that it’s not about them and they more or less exist so Zhakul can have certain aspects of his backstory set in place, like that he’s related to Vorazun through one of them, or that he eventually decides to walk in their footsteps as an elite member of the Matriarch’s personal Shadow Guard.

They were fully dedicated to their duties and very happy as only a couple, never intentionally trying for a baby. Which is partially the reason for why Zhakul is born when they’re fairly old, being in their early 700s. They both loved him very very much and would happily claim that the few years they got to spend with him before their untimely deaths were the happiest years in their long lives.

Both of them die a few months before the events of WoL. With the zerg invasion beginning anew, many protoss colonies were evacuated as a safety measure, including the one they were escorting. This was during the time the Dominion was kicking its Hybrid Program into overdrive and needed, um, material, to be able to build these guys from. I see you know where this is going. The ship on which the protoss were being evacuated on got seized by Dominion secret forces, resulting in a great loss of life, which included both of Zhakul’s mother. 

AND SPEAKING OF-

Zhakul!! My baby, my little innocent bean, precious cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. Oh, how good it feels to torture him-

Um. Anyway.

This is the oldest OC I have. Period. He was conceptualised in summer 2010 when Wings of Liberty first came out and I played through the campaign for the first time. I fell in love with this game all over again, and came up with Zhakul as a way to organise my thoughts on it because I just could not stop thinking about it. Many things in the AU changed, he mostly remained the same. From the day I first imagined him up until now, he underwent very minor design changes and very small changes to his overall story. This is because he is perfect and has no flaw-

The only other character I can think of that I am more attached to other than him is Jake (who is also nearly as old as Zhakul) who he is essentially attached to the hip to and an integral part of his story, just like he is in Jake’s. They meet shortly after Zhakul is rescued by the Raiders from Castanar, where he was held captive and experimented on. The story of how the Raiders dumped him on Haven is a bit long and I think I already spoke of this on this blog anyway (???) He then integrates into terran society and becomes a part of Jake’s family, almost being like his adoptive brother but not really because he’s an alien being raised by humans. Still, he’s loved just as much by them.

He continues to suffer from terrible anxiety and rather intense ptsd episodes from when he was held captive and experimented on, which was something his terran family did their best to help him with, but there’s only so much therapy made for humans, by humans, can do to help an alien, not to mention when said alien struggles with trauma as heavily as Zhakul does. This eventually results in him severely hurting Jake in one of his episodes by slashing his chest open, after which he panics and runs away from Haven to Shakuras.

(How does he get to Shakuras? No idea. Its been a plothole for the past fourteen years.)

There he gets a bit of a culture shock because he’s been living with terrans for the past sixteen years or so and has no idea what it means to be protoss. Essentially, he’s a terran in protoss skin and I remember that one of my favourite things to think about was how confusing his learnt mannerisms would be to everyone else (like how protoss tilt their head instead of chuckling meanwhile us humans do it when we’re confused. I imagine this lead to quite a few SituationsTM)

A lot of stuff happens here. Zhakul originally only ran away for the sake of running away but eventually figured out the protoss will surely be able to offer better help than terrans? So he gets it into his head that he will go to whatever equivalent of therapy the Nerazim have and then come back to Haven, because more than anything he yearns to be with his family and with Jake. A lot of things happen here, namely events that include Dal and Tali, showing that him that he cannot deal with his issues by burying them deep inside him and pretending they’re not real, but rather by admitting to himself that they happened and learning to accept it and let go. 

A lot of Zhakul’s story is about trauma, coping with it and about healing from it. About learning that your past does not define you as a person and that it’s on you to decide who you are, not other people. The past cannot be erased, so why continuously dwell on it? Mistakes are made, relationships are broken and lost, but being forever attached to all of this and pondering how it could have been different is pointless. What you can do is learn from it, change your future, put effort into being the best version of yourself that you can be, for the sake of yourself and those around you.