#usrbkr hm

we really don’t talk about these two enough

petty motherfuckers

esp petty with each other

oh sorry booker no i didnt know i left a knife on the bed or no nicky i wasnt aware those were your leftovers

nicky and booker butchering each other’s languages when they’re annoyed at the other, and some very americanized pronunciation of the word ‘croissant’ on nicky’s part

will argue about the dumbest shit ever and will go to extreme lengths to prove themselves correct which is how the team ended up in southern mexico so nicky could prove what color the safehouse walls are 

sorry nicky but joe agrees with booker that they are more green than brown, and no way he can argue with joe

consistently compete and feel the need to one up each other (hence the bets) and it’s resulted in many rules because andy is sick of their shit

one time they bet who would win in a race down the stairs of the eiffel tower, nicky tripped booker who promptly fell all the way down and died on impact

after an extremely loud argument in several languages they went again and booker won but nicky refuses to pay him because booker's height is an unfair advantage (its been 50 years)

if joe and booker are the worlds best bullshitters, nicky and booker are the "fuck around and find out” gang

when in a situation where they’re undercover and speaking to the mark and they get any kinds of suspicious, they immediately start complaining about them and their business, putting on extreme versions of their accents to really pull the ‘pretentious european’ vibe

popular topics: their clothing, nationality, that those aren’t mints in the bathroom, the fact that their mothers are probably disappointed in them

intimidation station

nickys stare + bookers size? no one dares fuck with them on the street

as ive said before, these two are responsible for every single stray that's ever ended up in their safehouses for the nights they are there and the ones responsible for the missing money which they use to leave food out for the rest of the strays

andy has definitely come home to them covered in cat fur as nicky is on bookers shoulders trying to get one of them off the top of the cabinet

italian vs. french rivalry is real

food, language, culture, it's all fair game to insults, yes booker has been called a crusty baguette and it started a war which resulted in no less than 15 insults being banned from being used

nicky probably tries to get booker to eat healthier, bc while nicky definitely appreciates fast food, booker you can't just eat fries and whiskey please eat a single lettuce

i like to think they cook together, i think booker is probably a good cook but it’s not something he does much anymore, not since becoming immortal really but nicky shared his love of cooking and occasionally they cook something together, finding old recipes from their homelands

covers booker with a blanket anytime he wakes up early to find him passed out half off the couch but also definitely takes a picture first 

the second time she finds them, she holds them tight to her chest and quietly sits down next to andy, gently laying them on the table in front of her. she blinks a few times, a watery smile coming to her face. and she tells nile about some of the photos, nicky cooking with joe (she thinks they made risotto that night, she can’t be sure), a blacksmiths workshop, the lady who made the best pastries at her shop, though andy doesn’t remember her name. and hundreds of others, a collection of their lives across decades, hair and clothes changing but faces remaining the same, if not a bit world weary

then she finds one of quynh, not a photo of her, but a photo of a painting of her. she looked just like she did in nile’s dreams, dark eyes that had seen too much, but this painting captured a lightness that wasn’t there in her dreams. she wanted to ask andy the first time about the photos, since she didn’t seem like the photographer type, it was mostly joe who would take pictures of them, but seeing the photo of quynh’s painting, she understood now

andy had seen not only decades and centuries like the other three, she had seen millennia. she’d seen more than nile could even fathom, and some of it forgotten, the faces of her family, the landscape of her birthplace, so many things that once were and are no longer. that painting of quynh is gone now, lost to time and their everchanging lives, but she has the photo of it so she can still look at quynh and remember the beauty of her smile or how the firelight reflected in her eyes

lol my fav two boys, ooh it’s been a while since i did hc post so what better way to get back to it

literally the dumbest when theyre together

always with inside jokes that don’t even make sense when you’re in on the joke, but that doesn’t stop them from laughing like guys who have definitely had too much to drink

the most obnoxious people about soccer you will ever meet, nicky has learned to avoid the topic with joe unless he’s somehow in the mood to discuss every reason why that team didn’t win in that one game that was like 70 years ago, please joe let it go

booker is the only other person who just like gets what joe is talking about when discussing soccer, they all found this out sometime in the early 1900s when joe makes a comment about some game and booker just jumps in without hesitation to everyones surprise

however it also started an argument that left them without silverware until their next shopping trip

they’ve also since banned eating baked potatoes during soccer nights because it will end up on the ceiling, no one knows how but it will happen and the others refuse to help scrape it off again

can lie their way out of any situation, booker and joe were once able to convince a man they were twins and they’ve been unstoppable since

and have also since learned to play confused tourists at the drop of a hat if they think they’ve been made, they’re not even speaking a real language but it worked didn’t it andy?

have definitely played lovers at some point or another just because they’re at some fancy party, nicky is set up on the neighboring roof, andy is nowhere to be found and thus began their personas of: pierre and ramzi, a couple who run their own vineyard in the south of france and are the weirdest people you’ll ever meet 

this is not the last appearance they make over the years

their first outing as pierre and ramzi is memorialized in a picture of them from the party, booker wrote on the frame “first time in prague together on our 10th anniversary” followed by a disgusting amount of hearts (nicky secretly treasures the photo)

joe has successfully hidden behind booker when andy comes looking for him, because who the fuck filled an entire suitcase with just books, joe you were only supposed to back essentials

she has no idea there’s another bag under the bed

book club

nile joins when she joins the guard and half expects it as a joke but they take it very seriously, there’s wine and sandwiches, cookies if you want too nile (joe lets booker get away with his attempts at sneaking whiskey into his wine - the man gives zero fucks about what he puts in his body)

they switch off recommending books and like to choose one from an author who’s from wherever they’re at now or wherever they’re going next

nile realizes she has some serious learning to do when she finds out many of their selections aren’t in english

punishment won't work if booker doesn't realize what he's done and doesn't agree with it being a valid reaction. if he hadn't accepted it what is the rest of the guard supposed to do with someone who doesn't understand what they did, they'd likely never want contact again

but he does see it, he even anticipated a longer punishment because he realized it, he knows he fucked up and he's ready to deal with that despite the fact that it pains him but he knows he hurt them more and that deep wounds like that don't heal in minutes

it’s nile’s first christmas since becoming immortal and she’s watching the season approach as they travel around the world, watching those who celebrate put up lights and trees and she enjoys the stops they make in a snowy place

she’s missing her family even more, having been a daughter of a man in the military the holidays were probably hard to deal with while he was deployed and then after he died her mom and brother, they all clung to each other. and now she has none of them

they all notice the change in her demeanor and the way she admires the decorations and the families strolling the streets and shopping together and they form a plan

joe and booker are sent to pick a tree, joe uses booker as a height comparison to make sure they get one with a good height and then there is the inevitable struggle of them tying it to the roof of the car because they can’t stop arguing about how to do it and joe suggest multiple times that booker can just hang onto the roof and hold the tree down

booker does not like this idea, but in joe’s defense he’s nearly as big as the tree so he could probably do it - ends with joe driving very slow while booker sighs loudly in the passenger seat

quynh drags nicky to get decorations, she’s spent 500 years in the ocean, doesn’t matter whether she celebrates christmas, she’d absolutely love all the decorations and lights and tells andy, “we need that giant light up snowman andromache please”

also competitive quynh making sure their decorations are better than anyone else’s in the area

no one knows who the fuck lives in that apartment but they know they DO NOT fuck around with christmas decorations

nicky gets lost in the store, admiring all the lights and decorations and he ends up getting a matching pair of the ugliest fucking christmas sweaters you’ve ever seen in your life and one of those stupid hats with the elf ears on it

he doesn’t care much of the holiday for celebrating jesus or whatever, but enjoys the festivities and the chance to wear ridiculous clothing with joe

joe and booker return with the tree, booker grumbling something about a squirrel attack while they put the tree in their small living room

andy is out with nile, keeping her out of the apartment and walking around the city. i like to think they took her somewhere in europe to see the christmas markets and enjoy the snow and get the full idealized christmas experience, she’s from chicago and snow to her is probably an integral part of the season

they buy small little trinkets and sweets, nile just thinks andy is indulging her, i mean when is the last time andy celebrated any holiday so fully

quynh and nicky arrive with way too many decorations that it makes their apartment look even smaller but they don’t care

booker has made eggnog that’s just more booze at this point but no one cares, him and nicky have started a competition to see who can string lights up along the ceiling the fastest (nicky is winning because joe is sneakily undoing bookers)

quynh has the best time putting all kinds of random decorations on the tree, the general baubles but also she got one for everyone. booker gets a little flask ornament, and somehow she managed to find sword ornaments for joe and nicky and an axe for andy, though it doesn’t look the same, and she gets one for nile of deep dish pizza and the sears tower

nile and andy finally come back and nile is in complete shock, standing in the doorway staring at what might be the most insane collection of decorations she’s ever seen. there’s a snowman, the grinch (andy’s favorite holiday movie), so many stars and mini christmas trees, lights are strung up all around the ceiling and the tree is massive, covered in a random assortment of decorations and with quynh’s eye it looks like a winter wonderland

and then she spots the ornaments for her and then she starts crying and everyone moves in for a hug - she still has family to celebrate with they tell her

and then there are presents to open

joe gives nicky a collection of poems and sketches, which booker helped him bind into a little book and nicky gets joe a wonderful and carefully crafted tea blend reminiscent of an old favorite of his he hasn’t had in a 100 years and then brings out the sweaters which joe has a good laugh over before making andy take a picture of them

nicky made sure to get the rest of them sweaters too - him and joes are stupid puns like “oh snap” with a broken gingerbread or “feline festive” with a cat, booker’s has a dog, andy’s has something obscene written on it, quynh’s is patterned while nile gets one that says “i sleigh all day” after he learned what slay meant

nicky gives booker the ugliest fake money you’ve ever seen, a child could’ve done better and nicky tells him that’s his winnings from the last bet - he drew a poor imitation of himself on the bills (booker absolutely loves it)

quynh gets andy a new necklace to layer with the other, a small bow and arrow pendant hanging from it while andy gets her a locket so she can keep a photo of them inside 

quynh gets roller skates from booker and she’s so excited she puts them on immediately and nearly wipes out had andy not caught her, but she’s still smiling and absolutely giddy

booker gives andy an old bottle of whiskey he found in another safehouse, they’ve both already drunk two bottles of vodka and he’s put three bottles of bourbon in the eggnog already but that doesn’t stop them from immediately opening it

joe gives booker a jacket he stole from him and gets the most deadpanned look from him before booker pulls out joe’s gift and he did the same thing with some of joe’s art supplies

and then everyone turns to nile, andy’s got a gleam in her eyes as she hands over the long, delicately wrapped package and nile’s eyes widen as she peels the wrapping paper off

it’s her very own sword, andy got it made for her. it’s long and slimmer than something like nicky’s sword, and light enough she can use it one-handed if needed, it’s got her initials carved into the hilt and it fits comfortably at her side

the rest of the night is spent watching classic christmas films and more booze, games are brought out and they sing carols while tipsy, booker and nicky are once again competing and this time it’s to see who can fit the most candy canes in their mouth (no one wins this one when they both spit them out over everyone after laughing at each other), andy and quynh are dancing in the kitchen, joe and booker are enjoying the cookies and joe is taking pictures of everyone while watching nicky begin to give nile pointers about her sword