1/3 pining idiots for @missameliep â fa mulan x li shang "for what itâs worth, i think youâre a great captain.â
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1/3 pining idiots for @missameliep â fa mulan x li shang "for what itâs worth, i think youâre a great captain.â

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It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well
â for @mosiacbroken , merry christmas! sincerely elfie đŠą
when the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway
Before they met
Female Main Character: Alex (only mentioned)
Pairing: considered as Nik Ryder x Alex (f!MC)
Summary: The nighthunter receives a new task.
Word counting: 1.281 words
Rating: General
Warnings: none
Taglist: @choicesficwriterscreations ; @nbappreciationweek (Day 1: Nik Ryder) ; @kinda-iconic ; @bloodboundismylife
Nik Ryder Faceclaim: Dominic Sherwood aka. Jace from The Shadowhunters
New Orleans always looked beautiful at night. Shops, restaurants, bars and dance pools were gleaming with bright colors and flashing lights. People were strolling around happily to enjoy the cool breeze and the city nightlife, but they were not aware of the dark side of this world. The World of Night! It was full of magic, supernatural creatures and other paranormal beings. Vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies, faes, trolls, unicorns, shapeshifters, wizards, goblins and whatever.
After a short walk through the city, a young, blonde-haired man entered a bar, called the Graveyard Shift. He was carrying a mysterious letter which he found in his letterbox outside the bar. Happy faces of the people inside the building greeted him as he entered... but, they all weren't ordinary people.
"Nik, my mortal, how was the hunt?", the handsome bartender greeted him with his British-like accent.
Nik, the blonde-haired man took a seat next to two of his friends and replied. "Hey Garrus, I could use a drink right now. Had a difficult hunt tonight. The usual, please."
Garrus, the bartender started mixing Nik's order with magical ingredients. Yes, he's not human. Garrus is Nik's best friend and a fae coming from another realm. He has white skin, sapphire-blue eyes, and white hair that licked up in the front. The fae also has some stubbles on his face, and pointy ears, and is wearing a white button-up with a gray vest over the top. Garrus is a very kind person and always ready to help his friends. He's a passable dancer, dreadful musician, and excellent mixologist. His favorite drink is the Pixie Punch.
After preparing the order, Garrus walked towards Nik and placed it on the table infront of him. A snake-tequila. A drink with an extremly sour taste which made his eyes water a little, it looked like as if a dead snake was swimming inside of it. And the hunter needed that drink with that nasty taste, to calm down his nerves. Nik is a nighthunter who hunts evil supernatural creatures and protects the World of Night beeing discovered by the human eyes.
Nik's other two friends, Ivy and Krom were sitting on the opposite side of the booth, enjoying their own drinks. Krom loves his Cocoa Couldron while Ivy doesn't and prefers her Seasalt Slurry. And yes, they're not human either.
Krom is a stone-troll who weared a red shirt on his stone skin. Tiny fangs peaking outside of his mouth. His friend, Ivy describes him as being a big teddy bear, even though he looks mean on the outside. Generally, Krom is soft-spoken, sweet, kind, and polite, but has insecurities. He thinks he is a "nobody" and not even that strong for a troll. He doesn't think he is good at talking to people.
And Ivy is a zombie girl with long purple and pink ombre hair with bangs. She has red glowing eyes and gray skin. She wears a short black Victorian goth style blouse, black leather trousers and applied dark red lipstick on her lips. Even though Ivy is a goth, she has a much more cheerful and happy personality. She likes to think of herself as "mostly dead" and says her state is everything she ever wanted. Ivy finds her glowing eyes cool and likes her diverse social circle. She is intelligent, as Garrus refers to her as their lady of sterling intellect and Nik refers to her as their peerless creatureologist since she helps Nik to identify any supernatural creature he is dealing with.
"Hey Nik, why are you staring at the envelope? What's in it?", Krom asked worriedly the hunter who kept his eyes on it while sipping the snake-tequila.
"I don't know, Krom. I found this in my letterbox outside and it's pretty heavy if you ask me. I wonder what's inside."
"You'll never know without opening it, silly.", Ivy marveled and immediatly took it away from him to open it.
"Hey, that's mine!"
"Oooh, who do we have have here? A beautiful girl!!", Ivy excitedly cheered as she pulled a photo of a young woman outside of the envelope.
"Ivy, give that back or... Jesus, she's... she's hot. I mean...", Nik startled as Ivy finally showed him the picture of a pretty woman. He dropped his jaws and his cheeks turned into a soft shade of red.
It was a young and beautiful woman smiling on the picture who probably was in the same age like Nik. Her soft skin was glowing and her chocolate-brown eyes held a mysterious spark inside. But what the blonde admired about her the most, was the long, wavy silver hair which looked so natural.
"Is she even human? I mean, that's another level of beauty I never saw.", Ivy teased the nighthunter and held the picture a little more closer to his face. Her manicured finger pointed at the woman's red lips.
"Ivy, stop messing around with Nik. And look, there's something written at the back of the photo", the stone-troll stated. Krom took the photo away from Ivy and placed it on the wooden table with it's backside turned.
"Protect her" was written on it and also tomorrow's date, a time and a location in New Orleans.
"Ooooh, Nik has to protect the pretty girl."
"Not funny Miss Ivy, she's my client and she could be in danger. Guess, some anonymous benefactor wants me to protect her."
"The way you looked at her...", Ivy tried to tease him more, but immediatly got interrupted by him.
"Ivy, she's my client!! I'm a professional nighthunter who only does the job and who knows, maybe she's already in a relationship with someone. Besides, you all know that I don't do relationships anymore and I don't need one. Elijah taught me to become independent and not to trust anyone. This world we're all livin' is cruel, we all need to survive and try our best to protect everyone from evil. I hunt the evil."
Garrus, Krom and Ivy got silent after hearing the hunter's words. Nik is very professional when it comes to his job. However, he also appears to love money. From the beginning Elijah, his adoptive father taught him to move on without attachments, as that was the only way to make it in this world without letting it grind him down.
The fae's sapphire-blue eyes fell on the big envelope which was still filled with something. He took it in his hands and pulled out a lot of bank notes of money. Everyone gasped at the sight of the big amount of cash coming out from only one envelope.
"Ahh, that's more than a millio... Hmm, hmm, hmm,...", Krom immediatly placed a hand infront of Ivy's mouth before she could scream it all loud.
Garrus quickly stashed the big amount of money back inside the envelope and handed it back to Nik who immediatly stashed it inside his pockets to avoid beeing seen by strangers who might be interested. The whole gang confused, but acted like as if nothing happened. Nik quickly finished his drink, said goodbye to his three friends and left the bar. He only had to climb a few stairs up and reached his apartment. Entering the living room of his apartment, the hunter quickly locked the front door and headed to a nearby table to count the cash which Garrus found inside the envelope.
"Damn, six figures only to protect a woman??! She must be somehow very important to someone, that's why the big amount of cash. A jackpot!!", he talked to himself. "Whoever you are, mystery lady, I'll protect you. But from who or... from what?"
The Cursed Heiress, Chapter Thirteen: In the Name of Love
Authorâs Notes:Â
Iâd like to dedicate this chapter to my friend @missameliepâ for not only encouraging me but also helping me improve as a storyteller and person and Iâm so thankful for your friendship. I hope you like it, dearest!Â
English is not my first language, so please forgive any typos/grammar mistakesÂ
This series contains certain mature themes, so it has a +15. Read under your own advise.Â
If you happened to stumble on this chapter or want to know more about Joannaâs joruney, hereâs the masterlist! And if you want to read more of my work, hereâs the general masterlist!Â
Summary: Joannaâs father is dead, and on the day of his funeral, many things will start to change, for war is coming.Â
Characters: Joanna Mills (OC) Dominique Foredale, Briar Daly, Ernest Sinclaire, Annabelle Parsons, Prince Hamid, Luke Harper, Theresa Sutton, Bartholomew Chambers, Duke Richards, Elias Bernhill (OC)Â
Rating: PG-13Â
Warnings: Minor character death, languageÂ
Word Count: 19.2kÂ
Reading Time:Â 45-50 minutesÂ
What is grief, if not love persevering?
The night the earl had died, Joanna fell asleep of exhaustion of the eventsâthe battle she had, the duke, Mr. Sinclaireâs story, the Coventus, her father and now⊠all she wanted was peace. But she wasnât granted that.
During the night, she had three nightmares: one, where she was stabbed in the chest by Thomas and he succeeded and took over the world and destroyed everything and everyone. Other one, where she joined his ranks and ruled over the world, enslaving humankind, including the ones she grew fonder of. And the third one, where her power killed her and she died on Mr. Sinclaireâs arms, the others crying and the world did not notice.
She woke up, gasping for air. All three possible endings terrified her and she went to drink some water when she touched the mirror and she dropped heavily on her knees: a war, a gruesome one. Tired soldiers. Heavy armament. Hunger. Cold. Deadly boredom. Then, someone powerful signing a treaty, looking defeated and ashamed. Then, he and his family leaving the city. A flag being burned downâshe could barely see it. A new one rising: red, with a half-moon and a star. Then she saw herself, crying in a graveyard. âIâm sorry, my sun, I could not stop it from falling. Your empire and legacy is no more,â
She had just seen a glimpse of the fall of an empire. Which one? She did not know. But after these dreams and premonitions, she dared not to sleep.
Joanna hadnât slept or eaten at all that past week. All she did was cry, throw knives âsometimes doing rather noticeable holes on the wallâand lay on the bed, motionless, paler than usual and cry until noon. She could not bear it. Nor accept it. She just got her father, after so many years, and now⊠he was just gone. Just like that. And not even the Goddesses gave her the chance to know the man who gave her life and loved her unconditionally. She sobbed once more, so sore and light that if she fainted, sheâd just go along with it.
Briar had been stubborn about keeping her alive, despite her pleas to let her rot and die, which ended with her yelling at her to get her arse up and start living again. But that was the last thing she ever wanted to do. Sheâd live for the rest of her life without her father and her mother doing Gods-know-what while she needed her the most. They havenât had the âHow the hell are you alive?â talk, but they would.
Briar came again with soup and a glass of water with generous amounts in each of the recipients. Joanna groaned weakly and dropped her entire body into the mattress again.
âEnough moping, Joanna! Edgewater needs you for your fatherâs reception today!â
âWhat part of let me fucking die donât you understand? My stepbrother may as well keep Edgewater and the throne of England for all I care,â she grunted, her voice barely audible.
Briar sighed as she sat before her, âLook, Joanna, I cannot phantom what youâre going through, but you must accept thatâ.â
âLeave me alone!â She roared, her eyes glassy and bright topaz. Briar gasped before nodding, too hurt by her words to even notice what was behind her tears.
She slumped on her mattress again, now crying again, fisting her pillow as she screamed on it, the pillow so cold her whole body shivered. She noticed a familiar, warm hand on her back, and was about to recoil when she saw her Aunt Nyaâs face, now sad and dressed in mourning âFey, my darlingâŠâ she embraced her tightly. She did not move, but neither expressed any wish to unhand her. She just cried silently, barely feeling anything at all, âHow do you feel?â
âThatâs the thing, Aunt Nya! I donât feel sadness, or anger, or anything, itâs like Iâm empty inside and Iâm not able to feel anything anymore! How can people live when such a remarkable man that had made such an impact is dead?! I donât understand!â She sobbed again loudly, not caring if the soulless Countess heard her. She never cared for that womanâs feelings towards her and wouldnât start now.
âThe death of a parent is always one of the most painful things. Though a soulmateâs death or a childâs death is much more devastating, your pain is just as valid, but you mustnât let rage take all over you. Let it through, but never take over, alright?â
She nodded before she sighing âI guess I cannot mop forever. The worldâs fate is at stake, I cannot let my foes win. Iâm tired, but I must keep going. Afterall, I have a lifetime to have a little peace. I shall make it through today⊠for him. For Father. And if I must pretend that Iâm holding it together, even if itâs for a few hours⊠I will. But only because he wouldâve done the same for me. That doesnât mean that as soon as the guests are gone I will be the same. Iâm damn entitled to mourn in my own way, whether these hyenas see it proper or not. In the end, this is what the London society is about, isnât it? Appearances, pretty and demure smiles and white lies everyone wishes to believe. And if I must play their game in order to honour my fatherâs name, I will. That doesnât mean that I wonât weep and have my moment with my father. Bastard or not, I am family, damn them and their idiot breeding rules.â
âMay his soul rest among angels, and Iâm certain heâll teach them a thing or two.â
âOh, Joanna, you are so much like him⊠and Nya⊠thank you. For being here today for us,â
âI came here representing my family and⊠well, my brother Fabian asked me that if should the earl pass away and he were already gone, Iâd go on his behalf. They were good friends,â
âThe young Mr. Crochane was a breath of fresh air. May he rest in peace, too,â
âThank you, Dominique. I shall leave you two to talk,â
She squeezed Joannaâs hand tightly before leaving. Dominique turned to her granddaughter âYour perseverance is just like his, my dearâŠâ The woman strid into her room, wearing with an admirable poise her mourning gear.
âLady Grandmother,â She curtsies to her and offers her a sad smile, a smile that falls quickly âI cannot imagine what is like to bury your son⊠Iâm so sorry for your loss,â.
âAs am I for yours,â
âIâm⊠not sure what to do. Iâve never mourned a familiar before.â
âYou mourned Mr. Colemanâs death,â She observed.
âA lover is not the same as your kin, Lady Grandmother,â she said, her eyes now filled with tears.
âIt is indeed the greatest pain Iâve ever felt, but even if I donât feel like it, I must honour him by being resilient and perseverant, like he was in life,â
âIndeed,â She sighed âWhat will I do now?â
Dominique placed a hand on her granddaughter and made her look at her, âYou will survive and make it through the day, as youâve always done. After all, you come from a long-lasting line of strong women,â
Joanna chuckled bitterly âFunnily enough, I do not feel strong enough to even talk to people I like,â
Dominique placed a hand on her granddaughterâs shoulder and told her âI can only imagine how you must feel, but you must be strong. Edgewater needs you, to show how a dignified heiress youâ,â.
âI donât want Edgewater anymore. No estate is worth so much tears and suffering and struggles.â
âYouâd really let it fall to the Marlcasters?â Dominique asked, horrified.
âDonât know, donât care.â
âJoanna!â Dominique looked at her concerned, âI will pretend that I did not hearâ,â
âThatâs the thing, Lady Grandmother! You never listen to what I have to say, nor what I feel! Itâs all about you and your stupid ambitions that only benefits you! And Iâm not some doll and Edgewater is not your dollhouse! Weâre all human beings, with hearts, thoughts, ambitions of our own, dreams. And Iâm tired of pretending that Iâm fine with this grotesque season where I am put a price due to my breeding and status, where what I think or want for myself doesnât matter. Where wits and goals are dismissed by money and status. Ever asked how am I doing genuinely? If I really wish to marry? If thereâs someone waiting for me back home, the real home? If Iâm in the mood to throw money away buying a dress I will use just once? No, right? Well, Lady Grandmother, no. I do not want to inherit this. Iâm not fine, Iâm far from fine. I donât want to marry that pathetic boor of Duke Richards or anyone from the court. Yes, thereâs an entire family of mine waiting for me back at home. NO, I DO NOT LIKE THAT FUCKING DRESS AND I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO A PLACE WHERE NO ONE WANTS ME THERE,â She inhaled, trembling of anger, âYouâre asking me too much. To give up who I am, to be exact. To deny my own true nature, to be alright with being seen like some men-pleaser and baby maker. To put up with bigotry and unfair bullying. To give up my beliefs. To be alright with people walking all over me. To endure literal predators hovering at me because theyâre richer than you. Well, Iâm not that woman. I cannot be that woman, nor I will be.â She pointed at herself violently, âand trying to please you and have your approval is killing me inside. Every time I do that, I feel so much self-hate that I wish to blow my fucking brains off!! So, for once, I beg you, let me be me. I donât want to accept dishonest condolences from the people who wish me rotting on the streets or wish me ill, or to be observed like some decoration or pretending I donât have a soul or personality that is made for court life only. Iâm not demure, obedient, silent and unbothered. I am not meek and stupid and air headed. Iâm not a doll waiting to have an owner. My life is not to be defined by my husbandâs wealth and breeding and the number of children that I will bear. Which I do want to, but not like this. I refuse to pay that price. I refuse to reduce my existence to a manâs need of an heir and someone to be their fucking mother.â
âJoanna, I did not realiseâ,â
âIf I asked you to describe me, youâd get it all wrong! Iâm not demure, or penitent, or ladylike, or obedient, or accepting and forgiving. I am opinionated, I get mad, I know things that a debutante shouldnât know, Iâm untamed and true to myself and my beliefs. I donât forgive easily. I live my womanhood however I feel like. I like reading forbidden things, and I love being free. And if inheriting Edgewater means to cut off my wings to replace them with chains, then I donât want it. I wonât have it, not with that price.â
âBut, the lawâ,â
âFUCK THE LAW AND THE MORON WHO MADE IT,â She snapped. She took another breath and squared her shoulders, âI will continue this charade, but once the season is over, I will renounce my claim and pursue what I really want: live and enjoy my life on my own terms and laws, with the people I love and unapologetically. I will do what you havenât done before: I will be free. You either support me genuinely or stand out of my way, because you wonât hold me back this time. Not anymore.â
âJoanna, Iâ,â
âGet out, Lady Grandmother.â She whispered, tears filling her eyes.
ââŠVery well.â
As she got out, the figure on the window sat on Joannaâs bed. She looked at her and asked âWhat do we know about him?â
âHeâs indeed alive and in France, currently doing some espionage. He knows about you, but he doesnât know about the earlâs⊠passing.â
She looked at her and said âGods, Mama, say that heâs dead,â
Odessa sighed, now looking hurt, âI just canât believe it just yet. It all happened so quicklyâŠâ
âI canât imagine what itâs like to lose the love of your life and father of your child.â
She winced before asking âWhat do we know about the girl? Is she really the chosen heiress?â
âShe is. I felt connected to her. And I know whoâs the biological father.â
âWho?â
âErnest Sinclaire of Ledford Park.â
âI sense that thereâs something between you two,â
Joanna sighed âItâs not that simple,â
âWhy? You like him, he obviously likes you. Whatâs holding you back?â
Joanna slumped on her bed, âWhere do I even begin?â
At the church, Joanna walked to the family seats, looking the perfect portrait of a mourning lady. Her mother was also there, at the back, dressed as a servant. She seemed to cry very silently, so silently that none of the staff even noticed. She had a veil that covered her face and her gloves back on her hands. Her red hair was perfectly coiffed and even prepared a speech.
âHello you too, Countess Henrietta. Mr. Marlcaster,â
âYouâre in our seats,â
âSuck it up, Bitterta, Iâm family. Blood relative, in case youâve forgotten. Firstborn daughter. The heir of the house.â She tried to speak, but she lifted her hand, âYou may sit away from me if you please, but I. Am. Not. Moving. The only way is grabbing me by the hair and making me. So choose. A spectacle, or get through this amicably.â
The countess scoffed, and put on the hurt lamb face. But her mother was faster than the countess, âYou stupid little girl! Who do you think you are? You should know your place and go back to your whoring at your pig farm while you can! Edgewater will be mine, to hell what the earl wanted!â She gasped when she realised what she had said aloud and Joanna took her opportunity. She pretended to be hurt and gasped.
âYou⊠donât care about my father? IâI⊠I just wanted us to be a family. I even considered you a mother,â she heard a snort. Probably her mother, âand had grown fond of you.â She sniffled, âI get it. Mourn, if you will, and I will leave your space⊠Mama.â
She held back her smirk and looked for familiar figures. The four of them were there. She decided to follow her heart and reached for Mr. Harper. He quickly took her hand and without saying a word, they went to their seats. He sat with the servants, near her mother.
âYour Highness, I cannot imagine what youâre going through right now⊠losing so many people in less than a yearâŠâ
Joanna sniffled, âI wouldnât wish it on anybody. Not even Duke Richards.â
âShouldnât you be with your family?â
Joannaâs face hardened âThose who I consider family are all dead now.â
Luke looked at Joanna. She placed her hand on his and held it tightly. As Bishop Monroe gave his speech about Joanna, she remembered the many times she was mocked because there wasnât a man to take care of her. The many times she could hear her mother cry, holding a stack of letters. The many times she thought that loving her was a death sentence. When she first met him. Their picnics at the lake. Their commentary of Latin and philosophy. Their laughs. His questions about her motherâs adventures. Showing him funny spells. Their silent reading sessions. When she said goodbye to him.
When he died before her eyesâŠ
Her heart accelerated. A knot formed itself on her ribcage and gasped for air. She stopped hearing the bishopâs voice. She stopped feeling Lukeâs hand. She felt hot.
âI⊠c-canâtâŠâ She got up abruptly and ran away from the crowd, gasping for air, before she fell on her knees. She tried to get some air, but she couldnât. She felt like she was dying. She felt five presences behind her, but she could not think about that now. Her breath was short and ragged, trembling violently.
âI donâtâI donât want to die,â She cried out.
She felt something was off, and she closed her eyes. She felt a violent tremble all over her body, and finally gave up to the darkness.
âI think sheâs coming back to her senses nowâŠâ
ââŠSo many emotions bottled upâŠâ
ââŠheard the quake of the ground, Mr. Marlcaster?â
ââŠsomethingâs off with her,â
She woke up in a sofa, a room away from the crowd. She looked around and saw Aunt Nene there, looking like she did an extenuating work waking her up, âWhat happened?â
âYou had a panic attack. You fainted, and before that, a bit of your power busted out of you and made the floor tremble. Your friends were worried,â
âThey were?â
âYes. May I call them in?â
ââŠLeave that to me, Aunt Nene.â
Later that night, Joanna and the Dowager Countess stood on the staircase, watching swaths of gentry folk enter the parlour. The dowager stiffened, a small, concerning look on her face. Joanna sighed âWorry not, Lady Grandmother. All that I wanted to say to you has been said. And Iâm in no mood to argue again.â
She nodded stiffly, âDo you feel better, dear?â
âYes, just a bit tired, I guess, but nothing that a glass of scotch shanât fix.â
âIf you say so⊠I must rest now. I canât take any more well-meaning condolencesâŠâ
âSleep tight, lady Grandmother.â Though the tension was high and Joanna felt like walking on eggsânot to mention she was sure her grandmother hated herâthey both seemed to agree to leave the conversation for later. And theyâd have a lot to talk about.
She curtsied to her before making her way to the parlour, but before she has the chance to enter, she hears someone whispering her name. She whips her head to find Mr. Harper, and she smiles at him for a brief moment âIâm glad I caught you⊠The countess would have my head if I came inside,â
âYou people should start to stop being scared. Sheâs all bark.â
âEasier said than done. But what I wanted to say is⊠should you need me⊠you can find me by the stables.â
âItâs your safe haven. If I didnât find you there, Iâd worry,â then, she fumed âyou ought to be mourning him, not be forced outside like some stranger! My father wouldâve wanted you there.â
He gave her a small smile before clearing his throat, âAye, but in this case, Iâm grateful. In a way, tending to the horses helps me grieve.â
âLike a coping mechanism.â
He arched a confused eyebrow and Joanna shrugged, âPsychology slang. What I mean, is that itâs your way to go through the tunnel of grief and find the acceptance of the loss of someone who you held in high regard.â
âThatâs an interesting way of seeing grief,â he commented.
âItâs the way, you people just havenât given it a name just yet.â
The silence nearly killed her before he spoke up again, âI have a song I wish to share with you. Come find me later if you wish⊠we can escape for a while and we can remember your father together.â
âI will spare it a thought,â She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek for a brief moment before leaving to the parlour. She could swear she felt him smile.
She scanned the room, looking for familiar faces when Mr. Chambers approached her. She gave him a weak smile, âLady Joanna, may God rest your fatherâs soul and bless yours.â
âMr. Chambers, youâre a sweet fallen angel, as usual. I am grateful for your friendship and kind words.â
He smiled gingerly âYou flatter me unjustly. You look a proper lady tonight. Your father is smiling upon you, Iâm sure.â
âI do what I can to honour his memory and legacy.â She gave him a saddened smile âHe wouldâve been glad for your presence tonight.â
His face fell âThe earl was one of the first people who helped me navigate this society⊠Iâm forever indebted to him.â
âI havenât realised that the two of you were close. The loss of a mentor is always awful.â
âNot as much as a fatherâs loss.â
She looked around before whispering in low voice âMay I ask some⊠delicate matter?â
He nodded before turning his head on her âWhat is it, Lady Joanna?â
âIs it true? That youâre familiar with Marianna Howard and her daughter?â
He gasped surprised âHow do you know about them?â
âI know it all, Mr. Chambers. Even the girlâs father,â
He looked flushed, sparing a small stare to Mr. Sinclaire, âHe doesnât know yet. Miss Howard begged me to give him an audience in private, the three of them.â
âAnd she shall have it. It is their destiny to find one another. He must know⊠but not now. Not yet. He isnât ready for her yet, but he will be ready.â
He was about to ask something âI⊠will leave you to your guests now.â
She didnât even bother. She didnât want to push her luck just yet. She looked around the parlour, where she spotted Mr. Sinclaire and Prince Hamid sharing stories, about her father, she was sure. She too spotted Miss Parsons, frowning at Miss Sutton and Miss Bowman, and Mr. Marlcaster brooding by himself.
She decided to join the men, who were deep in an anecdote âDo you remember the look on the Duke Northumberlandâs face?â Prince Hamid asked.
âHe couldnât have picked his jaw up with both hands even if he wanted to,â Mr. Sinclaire finished.
âWell, that sounds like quite the scandal, go on.â
âWe are reminiscing the time your father fell asleep in Parliament,â
Joanna snorted silently, incredulous âHe what again? My responsible and dutiful Father, falling asleep in Parliament?â
âWe were both stunned when it happenedâŠâ
I can imagineâŠ
âHe must have been dreaming of the proceedingsâŠâ Continued Mr. Sinclaire, âWhen his name was called, he sat bolt upright and gave the proper speech without any faults.â
Joanna bit her cheek, but in the end, she couldnât help it. She let out a fit of laughter, her hand on her mouth to muffle the sound, doubling in laughter at the image. When she caught the sight of the men, she flushed and cleared her throat, looking away, but the men did not see scandalized by it.
âIt is refreshing to see you laugh at such a dark time, my lady. Youâve made me forget for a moment about my pain,â Commented Mr. Sinclaire.
Hamid looked pleased and amused âIâm pleased that our small tale could make you laugh in such a hazardous time. It is always a delight to see you laugh,â.
Joanna smiled for a brief moment, it seemed like a shadow. She looked up to them and nodded them thank you.
âYour father was a most honourable man,â Said Mr. Sinclaire, his face now saddened. Joanna had remembered how much he had lost as a boy. She wished she could squeeze his hand.
âEven in his blunders.â Hamid commented, gaining a guffaw from Joanna.
âIâm relieved that he shall remain alive on our memories.â
âFor years to come.â
âIâd venture centuries.â
A group of noblewomen passed by her. They looked at her from head to toe before moving on. Joanna scoffed, clearly annoyed âHave they no shame or respect whatsoever? Oh, wait! Every titled noble is just like that.â
âIt cannot be easy for you to have so many eyes on you when your heartâs heavy.â Hamid sighed.
âIf you need to get away, I can take you to Ledford Park. Itâs much more⊠inviting than a room full of gentry.â Mr. Sinclaire offered.
âThe stars provide me great solace. If you would like to go stargazing with me, I will be here waiting.â
Joanna gave them a ghostly smile âI shall spare a thought to your requests.â
They nodded their heads to her and she kept doing her rounds around the parlour. She walked over the trio of women.
âShe looks a proper lady todayâŠâ Miss Bowman mused.
And you have that ugly dress still on.
âI would hope so. Itâs the earlâs funeral, after allâŠâ
Coming from you, thatâs rich.
âMiss Bowman, Miss Sutton, I cannot believe the two of you.â Miss Parsons snapped, an icy glare on them. Joanna looked at her with a surprised but pleased look.
âDo you really have to gossip about my appearance at my fatherâs funeral? Donât you two have something better to talk aboutâŠor do?â Joanna said, now glaring at them two.
âOh, Lady JoannaâŠâ Miss Sutton threw her arms around her and she allowed it, patting amicably her back, âIâm so, so sorry, you must be so sad.â So many soâs. Her grip became even tighter.
âI am. Thank you for your compassion and kindness, Miss Sutton.â
She patted her back a few more times before she released her âWould hearing the latest news about Miss Hollowayâs sister cheer you up?â
âI wonât let you turn this day into a gossiping event, itâs shameful.â Miss Parsons spitted. Miss Bowman and Miss Sutton were stunned into silence by Miss Parsonsâs sudden snap. Her face fell âI canât stand to be part of this chatter and eyeing each other. Escape with me later if you wish⊠Iâd love to show you my favourite Edgewater room. It always lifts my spirits.â
How long has it been ever since they had a nice moment together? This could be a great opportunity to show her more of her powers and put her in contact with her kind⊠and biological father.
âThat sounds lovely. I shall consider your proposal.â
She squeezed Miss Parsonsâs hand before leaving the group.
She saw Mr. Marlcaster by himself, with a glass of scotch, staring at the window âMr. Marlcaster... Iâd ask you how you feel, but since itâs a stupid question, I just wanted to say⊠Iâm sorry. I donât know how this must be for you⊠after your biological fatherâs deathâŠâ
He looked up to her âYou⊠remembered.â
âYou know, I do pay attention when you speak.â
He swirled his glass, accidentally spilling. She gave him a handkerchief and helped him. He nodded her thank you, âHe was the only father I ever knewâŠâ
âI know the feeling very well.â
âIâve lost two fathersâŠâ
She placed her hand on his elbow and gave it a squeeze âI truly am sorry. I cannot begin to fathom what it must feel like.â
âIâŠThank you, my lady. Itâs really kind of you.â
She sighed before confessing âJust because Iâm always collected and seem in control does not mean I am not capable of empathy or to have feelings or thoughts. I am a human being, just like you, with the same beating heart and soul. You, me and everybody. Some of us are just better at hiding the feeling of wanting to scream and send everything to hell and curl yourself in bed, not facing the world for a long time.â
He swallowed âI⊠did not know we had so much in commonâŠâ
âIâm not that bad, sir, when you get to know me. Some people say I can be quite nice to be with, just like you. Everybody is a handful in their own way, and thatâs fine. Weâre not perfect.â
âPerhaps⊠youâre not so bad.â
She chuckled âLikewise.â
He stared to the ground âIâm sorry⊠for your loss too.â
âThank you, brother.â
She studied him carefully before giving him a small hug. At first, he resisted, but then, he gave in and joined her embrace, âShould you need someone to smash things or just talk or be with you⊠you know where to find me.â
He nodded and finished his scotch âIâll try my best for you as well⊠but first, I need more scotch.â
He staggered off to refill his glass. She turned around to watch the room and saw some people clutching their hearts. She looked around to chat with other group when she heard some people whispering her name. Not standing it anymore, she went out to breathe some air.
âI canât stay another moment with those hyenasâŠâ
She thought again of the all tempting offers of the four people she needed to see. Ernestâs tour to Ledford Park⊠stargazing with Hamid⊠Lukeâs song⊠and Annabelleâs favourite room in EdgewaterâŠ
âI must get away for a while⊠and have a sincere talkâŠâ
She decided to go to Mr. Sinclaire first. She saw him standing with Miss Sutton, his lips pursed in a thin line, enduring her ceaseless chatter. His eyes softened at the sight of hers.
âCan you believe the countess did not shed a tear during the service? I know sheâs a bit⊠intense. That just seems unheard of from a widow.â
âI, umâŠâ He tried to say.
âMaybe she has already shed all the tears she could muster⊠If my Mr. Marlcaster were to die⊠Oh, I canât even bear the thought!â
âMiss Sutton, my dear, while Mr. Sinclaire is clearly entertained by your interesting conversation, Iâm afraid I must nick him from you. There is some matter of vital importance I must speak with him right away.â She gave her the most convincing âIâm seriousâ look.
âYes, Iâve been waiting⊠a few hours to talk about that matter. You must excuse us, Miss Sutton.â
She seemed to take the hint and nodded âOf course, excuse meâŠâ
He let out a slow sigh of relief as Miss Sutton scurried to the next conversation at sight.
âI appreciate the rescue, Lady Joanna.â
âFunny, I thought that the rescuer of the night could be you⊠Iâd love that Ledford Park tour if youâre up to it.â
âCertainly.â
He escorted her out of the manor and into the crispy night. After a short walk, her eyes went up the big, imposing manor⊠she chuckled, impressed. It was a tall and large manor, made of white marble stone and with an impressive architecture.
âThe famous Ledford Park⊠itâs one of the most impressive manors Iâve ever beheld.â
âThank you, my lady, though I have very little credit for its architecture. It was built during the Renaissance by its founder.â
She squeezed his arm, âIt turned out beautifully.â
He smiled at her and led her through the gardens, its flowers welcoming her presence. He cleared his throat âIâm still getting used to⊠well, your hidden world.â
âIt can be a lot, yes.â She stopped on her tracks and sighed âThough I did say the truth back there⊠there is something I must talk to you about. It concerns who you are⊠and your destiny.â
âWhat do you mean?â He asked, now looking at her attentively.
âBack when you summoned the sword⊠itâs just the tip of the iceberg of what you can do. Youâre descended from a powerful bloodline of Nighthunters, bound to protect mortals from the evil monsters that lurk in the shadows. Itâs similar to magic, but with certain works⊠it takes years to learn all the tricks.â
âYou mean⊠I can do magic?â
âIn a way, yes.â She nodded at his sword âThe sword is blessed with elven magic. Only a firstborn Sinclaire may have it, for the firstborn has the needed power to wield it. You, for that matter, are the new wielder of the sword, as your father was once, long ago, and as it shall be with your firstborn.â
He chuckled bitterly âI do not have a firstborn of my own.â
She took a few steps behind and threw him a ball of ice. He gasped and put both hands in front of him, shielding him from the impact! A blue shield appeared from him and melted the ice. He gasped, staring at his hands.
âTo harness the power inside us, we must have control over our emotions and instincts first. Your instinct of survival saved you from me freezing you to death. Just as your primal emotion of punching someone can be lethal if not well dealt with. Thatâs the secret of controlling magic. Emotions. Motives. Instinct. Intentions. Those four are the keys to true power. A man who can control oneself is a powerful man.â
âItâs all it takes?â
âAnd practise.â She snapped her fingers and a small ball of light appeared on her hand. âYou must visualize what you want to show or do. Focus on it. Ask your inner self to summon it.â
He closed his eyes and snapped his fingers. And again. And again. A small butterfly came out of his fingers and he chuckled âItâs incredible. Am I really able to do that?â
âYes. Try something else. You can get a memory from me.â
He closed his eyes and placed his hand on her cheek. Her mind wandered back to the carriage, the puffy scenery, their bodies together, nearly pressed against one another, her pupils blown wide and her heavy breathing. The image of her under him. Her warmth. But this time, he did not pull back, but against him, gaining a gasp from her, almost feeling her bust against his chest. His lips almost touched hers when he took off the hand.
âHm. Couldâve sworn you enjoyed that new version.â
âI⊠did not meant disrespect to you, my lady.â
She placed her finger on his lips âYou cannot disrespect me if thatâs what I want too.â She saw how he lost his breath for a moment, blushing furiously.
He cleared his throat âAbout your closed-in feeling⊠I had a similar sentiment when my father died. The quiet anguish of having all eyes trained on you is an intensely personal time.â
âThose bunch of egocentric hyenas whispering about you even in your darkest time is mostly rude. It is frowned upon not to talk about the deceased during a funeral. Many are kicked out in The Circle for disrespecting the mourning moment to a grieving kin or close acquaintance. Poor Nya would be beyond scandalized if someone talks about something that isnât the deceased or to express condolences.â
âHow does one grieve in your city?â
âItâs an emotional and personal process. Thereâs a private mass where the family says goodbye, no matter if youâre a bastard or a new-born. Itâs rude to deny a member of the family their rightful place there and it is encouraged to leave the bad blood for the day. We bury our dead sooner. You have a whole night to prepare the body and then we get it to the Holy Chapel where the family mourns and says its goodbyes and things left unsaid for four hours before the public mass. Until dawn, the chapel is open and then we bury it. In my familyâs case we have a special pantheon for our members and bury them there. We leave a token or a letter and we burn it there, for it represents that youâre sending it to your loved one. Then we host a dinner with people who were close to the deceased, they stay over and, in the morning, we have some drinks in the gardens and everyone expresses their condolences with either a story or something that reminds us of them and build an aisle. My deceased uncles, Fabian and Niklaus have their own at my houseâs garden with their best portraits. Each member of the family has a portrait. I shall have mine when itâs time. Every October we gather to honour our dead and fallen ones. Itâs quite a lovely ceremony.â
âThatâs a beautiful way to mourn someone, and with far more respect to the family.â He said frankly.
âWhat was your father like to you?â
âMy father was an upstanding and honourable man. He treated the responsibility of upholding the family name with grave importance. Most importantly, he taught me that it isnât a manâs name what makes him great, but his character.â Â
âHe sounds like a wise man one would like to have around.â
âIn a word, yes.â He smiled.
They walked in a wistful silence around the gardens when Joanna cleared her throat.
âThere is something else you must know⊠about your future and destiny.â She took a deep breath âNya may have mentioned you, but there is a girl that will soon come to your life. She will be all alone and⊠youâre all she has. She has an important role in both our lives.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âJustâŠâ She cleared her throat and looked around the gardens âDid your grandmother design the gardens here as she did with Edgewater?â
Ernest noticed her wish to change the subject and he obliged. Heâd have that conversation with her later âThe way Iâve heard it, she buried the roots of every plant with her own bare hands.â He said proudly.
âShe had a way with nature. I love this view.â
As they moved further into the gardens, they found themselves a gurgling fountain. Mr. Sinclaire quirked a smile âI was⊠a rather sullen childâ,â
âYouâre a rather sullen adult, but continue.â
âYes, yes. When I got into a mood, my mother would bring me into this fountain and make a wish. She said that it was easy to sulk when you couldnât put a name to your gloom, but once you spoke your wish, you had a goal to guide you forward. Now, itâs difficult to me to be anything but hopeful in this place.â He beamed.
âWise counsel indeed. We should give it a go!â She suggested. Mr. Sinclaire produced two coins from his coat pocket and gave one to her âWill you indulge me a demonstration?â He turned to the fountain and momentarily ruminated over the coin, which he held poised between thumb and forefinger âAllow me to guess, youâll wish for me to stop being so secretive about everything.â
âNot exactly, but youâre close.â
He turned back to the fountain and raised the coin to his lips. He kissed it, and tossed it into the burbling water. She chuckled.
âAre you prepared, or do you need an additional demonstration?â
âWill you let me do the wish or you arenât done being a smartass?â She chided back.
Joanna repeated his actions and decided to tease him âI wish to be kissed by the beau beside me.â She kissed the coin and tossed it over the water. She glanced at Mr. Sinclaire, whose gaze had turned into a longing one. He took her hand and slowly raised it to his lips, then pressed a gentle kiss on the back of it. She grabbed gently his cheek and begged him close âIâm not a clueless virgin. You wonât scandalize me or disappoint me if you wish to kiss me there. You have my full consent.â She drew with her thumb his lips, then kissed his cheek sensually, then placed her hands over his chest. He swallowed hard, his eyes darkening before clearing his throat.
âIt is not that I donât wish this, itâs just⊠I am aware of your experience, but my respect for you is too big to disrespect your persona that way. I would ruin you. Iâ,â
âI donât care about what those bunch of vipers have to say. I know well what I want and I normally get it. Or you donât wish to have me?â
He drew a breath âMore than anything in the world. Thatâs why I must do right by you.â He said it without thinking.
She whispered to his ear âItâs my life. My body. My bed where youâll come. I get to decide whom I bring to my bed, not them. And I know that you want it too.â
She could feel how he lost his breath âNot yet, my sweet. Not yet.â
Her face turned to his, now as close as they were in the bridge âVery well. Now escort me home before I regret it and transport you somewhere private where no one shall disturb us until Iâm done with you.â
He nodded, swallowing hard before walking home, at a respectful distance. He seems to mull over something before calling her name âLady Joana⊠that is, Ledford Park is at your disposal, should you need comfort again.â
âIâm counting on it.â
He began to lead her back to Edgewater. Back in the foyer, he kissed her hand and slipped away to retire to Ledford Park for the night.
She took a deep breath and weaved back to the parlour and walked up to Miss Parsons and Mr. Chambers, who were in the middle of a rather awkward conversation.
âItâs been, uh, quite a warm April, hasnât it?â
âMr. Chambers, my dear friend, while Miss Parsons is clearly enjoying the conversation, thereâs a girl emergency that requires Miss Parsonsâs assistance right away. You understand, donât you?â
âBut we were having the most riveting conversation.â Miss Parsons teased.
âI quite understand, my lady. I have, uh, pressing matters to address with Mr. Konevi.â
Joanna smiled charmingly âOf course. Tell him that I said hi!â
He politely bowed his head to both women and walked over gingerly to Mr. Konevi. She smiled at them and grabbed Miss Parsonsâs arm, âLetâs get out of here before these hyenas notice that weâre away.â
âLetâs away, yes!â Miss Parsons beamed.
Miss Parsons playfully took her hand and ran towards the stairs, into her fatherâs study. Joanna chuckled bitterly, remembering their times there before all of this entire mess in general. The familiar scent of tea, old wood and leather chairs swirled right into her nostrils and a tear escaped her eye.
âAhh, this room feels like home. Iâve been meaning to show it to you for ages!â Miss Parsons said, giddy.
âNo need for that. Hereâs where I met my father for the first timeâŠâ
âJoanna! To think that youâve been keeping it from me all this time⊠Isnât it a wonderful place?â
She nodded to herself âIt really is.â
Both women laughed and nodded to themselves. Joanna traced with her fingers the spines of the books, stacked tightly on the bookshelves.
âI canât imagine not meeting my father until I was grown⊠What was that like?â Miss Parsons asked.
Joanna sighed, âIt was⊠bittersweet. All the journey, I asked myself why didnât he come looking for me before. Was I not enough to him? Did he consider me a mistake? Would he laugh at me and use me as a charity for the estate reputationâs sake? Would he kick me out once he got to know me? Would he lock me up? But then, I came into this room⊠and the fear washed itself away. How gentle, how kind, how nurturing and loving he was⊠the way we had so much in common and the million topics we talked and the plans made for when the season was over and we had the rest of the year ahead of us⊠tea in here while discussing who was a better poet or our favourite Tudor consort and why, my motherâs shenanigans⊠it was all magical. And to be deprived of that so suddenly⊠no matter for how long I live, I know it will always hurt. This day will always hurt. The day the man I loved the most died before my eyes with so much left unsaid and pending things. My only hope is that time passes fast so we may find each other and be a happy family again, this time the three of us. Not Countess Henrietta, no society, no rules of decorum⊠just us, being free and happy.â
Annabelle ghosted a smile âThatâs a beautiful sentiment. Your father was unlike any other men of his station. He cared dearly for every person in his life.â
Joanna smiled sourly, nodding in agreement, the pain of loss too unbearable.
âAh! I have a wonderful idea! We should paint your father. Iâve been itching to paint again.â She suggested, her usual beaming smile on her face.
âWell⊠my psychologist does tell me that putting all my emotions in crafting when I canât put them into words can be good for me.â
Miss Parsons blinked, not understanding a word âIâm sorry?â
âA psychologist is a doctor of emotions and damaged minds. Their speciality is to help you have more emotional intelligence and power over your emotions without damaging anyone or yourself in the process. Itâs scary at first, to share your deepest thoughts with a stranger, but itâs for the best. Theyâre trained to do so. They never judge or mock you, but understand you and through a connection between patient and psychologist. I think they will be the future of society, though itâs a long way before theyâre noticed.â
âThatâŠsounds kind of nice, actually. Will you introduce me to one?â
âWhen you visit The Circle, I promise you, it will be the first thing that I will show you of its society will be her.â
âWait, her? As in a woman?â She asked, shocked.
âYep! Both women and men can be doctors and nurses and surgeons and⊠well, everything they wish to be.â
âE-even artists?â
âEspecially artists. It has been a rising of female artists since the Baroque.â
âYour city truly sounds like a dream,â She squealed âyouâre really tempting me to escape there and make my way into the world!â
Joanna placed her hand into her cheek and whispered âIâd love nothing more than welcome you into the city and help you thrive into Dracarian Society,â They looked at each other intensely before Joanna cleared her throat, âSo, um, shall we paint?â
âI was hoping youâd say yes⊠I confess I grabbed your easel out from your parlour early today.â
Joanna chortled, âSnagging my things already, are we?â
âCan you blame me?â She beamed âYouâre learning so quickly, Iâm confident youâll catch his likeness!â
Joanna looked away shyly âI really hope so.â
Miss Parsons let out a rather loud squeal âLetâs set up over there.â
âWhy, someoneâs eager, alright.â
She stood the canvas on the easel and mixed the needed colours. She closed her eyes, recalling her dear fatherâs features, his smile, his kind eyes, his grey hair, ⊠For a small moment, she could feel his presence, beaming at her⊠she lifted her brush and started painting.
âBack when I first started calling on Harry, I used to sneak in here and read. He liked to joke that I came here because of the books instead of him.â
âI mean, whatâs a man compared to a whole universe of fun that does not disappoint you at some point?â Joanna teased.
âI get your point, but Harry never disappointed. He was also very different from many men in court. He was a delight to have around, and never asked anything of me.â
âYouâre fond of him. He seems far more likeable than me.â
Miss Parsons looked at her intensely, âNo one is as delightful or likeable as you, Joanna.â
Her heart thumped at a deadly speed, threatening to get out, making her gulp. She took a deep, steady breath before continuing painting, her brush tracing delicately in the easel, âAhem, so, why didnât you simply use your estateâs library?â
âYour father had the best books. His library is full of philosophy and politics and theory⊠all of my favourites.â
Joanna smirked âA woman who nurtures her mind is a woman after my own heart.â
Miss Parsons winked at her âLikewise.â Feeling bold, with her free hand she lifted it and trailed her hand over her arm sensually, licking her lips and biting her lower one. Annabelleâs breath got caught and traced her fingers over her knuckles, âJoanna, weâll never finish the portraits if you continue flirting like that.â She teased.
âTrust me, love, I can do way better⊠Iâm just warming up.â
She caressed with her lips her knuckles and focused on the painting, leaving her panting faintly. She cleared her throat âOne day I snuck here to read âAn Enquiry Concerning Political Justiceâ by William GodwinâŠâ
âI sense that it didnât end up wellâŠâ
She nodded and fumed âI was just grasping his thesis in the third chapter⊠When Countess Henrietta snatched the book out of my hand!â
Joanna rolled her eyes so hard she thought sheâd become blind âUgh, Bitterta again. Is her life so boring and uneventful that she has to torment people?â
âRight?! All I wanted was peace! Anyways, she told me the book was improper for a lady to be reading, far too studious. Do you believe it?â
âActually, I do. Grown-ups tend to tell us women that we shouldnât be smarter or too studious because weâd get âwrong ideasâ and end up in a bawdy place, when all they want is to indoctrinate us into being submissive, quiet and obedient towards them, therefore, they avoid being questioned and even called out when theyâre being horrible with you. If youâre smart, you will be able to perceive what they do right and wrong and they will no longer have the power to give you the ideas they want to give you, especially about men and marriage.â
âThatâs a really impressive observation, Lady Joanna. And youâre probably right. She slammed the book closed and shooed me off the room⊠But your father was on the other side of the door!â She smiled âhe said if I wanted to discuss Godwin, I could always sneak into his study after my visits with Harry ended. We started meeting weekly at three for discussions, and heâd give me a new book to read each time. Iâm convinced it was the greatest secret tradition ever.â
Joanna smiled at her âMy mother insisted on educating me like a true lady. She taught me oratory, politics, science, mathematics, physics, physical education of all sorts, singing, dancing, architecture, literature, history of all kind, war tactics, ⊠There isnât a book in my library in The Circle I did not read or memorized by heart. Though I refused to paint and play the pianoforte, but I play the violin quite cleverly.â She winked.
âAnd the men in your life never said a thing?â
âThey encouraged and participated in my education! I also learned Atticus Greek, Classic and Archaic Latin, French, Hebrew, Russian, Pre-Columbine languages, Spanish, Prussian and many other languages.â
âWow! You really are an accomplished lady! I donât think I could learn all of that, especially being fluent in ten languages! You must be the most educated woman Iâve ever met!â
âWell, Iâm not the first.â
Miss Parsons sighed âI wish I were that smart.â
âAnnie⊠you are smart, in your own way. Iâve met people who have bachelors and degrees of the best schools but in society theyâre poor buffoons. In fact, there are different kinds of intelligence, both intellectual and emotional. And Iâd love to teach you all about ethics and morals,â she winked âItâll be one of the most interesting dates.â
âA date, you say?â
Joanna decided to make her laugh, imitating the countessâs high falsetto âA woman studying something that isnât about being submissive and obedient and demure?! My, it is indeed a scandal! Oh my, you youngsters will be the death of polite society! Ohh!â Then she pretended to faint, thing that made Annabelle laugh loudly, and she joined her.
âI hear Miss Parsons has been filling her mind with politics! How dreadfully scandalous for a lady!â
Joanna adopted Duke Richardsâs exaggerated high tenor voice âIndeed, my lady! Women ought to be stupid, meek and obedient to do my bidding! Oh, I can hardly stand the image! Excuse me, ladies, but such scandal requires me to go back to Wankerland, where I am King of Pathetic! Excuse moi!â And levelled her thigh up, as if hinting to show off his friend and marched through the door and pretended to slam, âOh, my! I am such a big wanker that I cannot fit in the door! Guess Iâll get drunk by fantasies that will never become true, such as a lady enduring my endless talking about me until I am too drunk to even think!â She sat on the floor and jumped, âOh, I forgot! I donât think because I have no braincells!â
Miss Parsons was red with laughter, on the floor, barely making a noise as she laughs, clutching her stomach. Joanna crawled at her, crying of laughter, both on the floor, the painting forgotten.
âI did not know you were such a comedian, Joanna!â She said between laughter.
âAnother part of my education. Itâs called: most men are stupid.â She fitted another laugh.
Annabelle laughed again, coughing out of dryness because of the amount of time laughing.
âI feel like Iâm ten again.â Joanna commented.
Annabelle nodded, wiping her tears off the face, âWe should continue the paintings.â She giggled âIâm not seeing Duke Richards entering through a door the same again.â
She peeked over her painting âJoanna! Your painting is coming out beautifully! You make a quick studyâŠâ She seemed certainly impressed.
âI happen to have an excellent teacher.â She winked.
Miss Parsons looked her own painting and furrowed her brows âOh, posh! Your painting is turning out better than mine!â
Joanna teased her again, âAt long last, I dethrone the queen!â
They both giggled, âYouâre terrible! Iâll still beat you to finish, though!â
Joanna snorted âYou do realise I have super-speed, right?â
âBut I have experience by my side!â She sticked her tongue out.
âWell, Iâm not going down without a fight!â
Miss Parsons turned back on her painting, her nose scrunching up in concentration. Joanna reached out and curled one curl of hair around her finger sensually. Annabelle leaned in her caress, her paintbrush slowing âJoanna, I canât concentrate with you doing that⊠Wait, was it your plan all along?â
âMaaaaybeâŠâ
âYou tease⊠weâll never finish if you donât focus! Try all you wish, but I will finish first! I canât help that Iâm such an accomplished lady!â
She drew her last words with a sense of importance. Both women shared a laugh and turned back to their paintings.
âI wonder, did Harry ever join you and my father in the study?â
âHarry was not the most⊠studious man. Your father liked that I wanted to support Harry in that way.â
Joanna frowned âShame. At least he was smart, wasnât he?â
âSocially smart, yes.â She sighed, her expression falling âAfter Harry died, our meetings slowed, and the ones we did have took a different tone. And nowâŠâ
âYou feel guilty about skipping the meetings with him and have this regret in your heart.â
Annabelle nodded, âI think I know how you feel now. I thought I could make it up to him, butâŠâ
âLife and London happened.â
Annabelle smiled through tears âYou have this ability to read me like a book.â
Joanna squeezed her hand, âIâm just observant and perceptive. Alas, we still have each other. You donât always lose, you can also win, and if you need me⊠Iâll be there. I will always be there for you.â
Annabelle beamed at her âYour company is what has kept me sane through all of this.â They both wiped each otherâs tears and focused again on the paintings, adding the final touches and standing back to survey them. Joanna smiled satisfied to herself âOh, Joanna! This is so lifelike!â She gasped, clearly impressed by her friendâs actions.
âI must thank my incredible memory and recent events for the outcome.â She smiled, proud of herself.
âAnd a wealth of natural talent.â Miss Parsons added.
She looked at the painting and caressed it, now feeling his presence behind her, âIâm certain he wouldâve loved to see these.â
âAbsolutely! You should hang it in this room!â Annabelle suggested.
âOnly if you hang yours in the Edgewater room of earls and countesses.â
She smiled at her âDeal. Thereâs a space over the fireplace that would be perfect for it.â
She nodded âItâs though as he left that space for me only.â
Both women took each corner of the painting and hung it over the wall with care and smiled to themselves.
Now you shanât be forgotten, Papa.
âI wish I couldâve thanked him once more for bringing you into my life.â
Joanna smirked at her âThere was a first time?â
They both chuckled as Joanna hugged Annabelle by the waist. She kissed her temple and both women admired their work and all the memories within.
âAnnabelle⊠thank you. For being always there for me. I donât know how I couldâve gotten through all of this without your aid.â
She smiled at her âYou talk me up too much⊠But I feel the same way, Joanna.â
She smiled at Annabelle and took her hands, drawing small ghosts on her knuckles âMy father wouldâve certainly loved the idea of us painting together.â She sighed âAll he ever wanted for me was to be happy, and I canât think of more joyous moments than when Iâm with you.â She didnât even think about it, she just said it.
âOh, Joanna, are you trying to give me heart flutters?â
âIf that were the case, I would do⊠this.â She lifted her hand and caressed the road of the vein of her arm and kissed it with sensuality and longing, âAnd thisâŠâ She kissed her wrist and with one swift movement, grabbed gently with one hand her cheek and the other went to her curls. With her thumb, she traced her lips and massaged her hair, gaining a gasp from Annabelle. She kissed her cheek. Her other cheek. Her jaw. Her earlobe. The hand on her hair went to her waist and drew circles on it, her lips merely inches away. Miss Parsons happily obliged as her hands went to the back of her neck and their lips nearly touched, already savouring itâŠ
When suddenly, the door slams wide open! Joanna and Annabelle jump back and both glare at the arse who interrupted their moment.
âHave any of you seen where Mr. Marlcaster is? Miss Sutton has sent me on a wild goose chase for him. I swear.â
Joanna gave her an icy glare that couldâve melted her insides in seconds âI donât know where the dingus is and I donât give a flying fuck. Go elsewhere, he is not here.â
âAnd wherever he is, he may want to be left alone⊠so he can grieve in his own way.â
âNow fuck off and donât come back.â Added Joanna.
Miss Bowman shrugged, trying not to show her fear towards Joannaâs deadly glare that had wakened an ice cold on her back, and wandered off the hall, continuing her search.
âNow that the annoying minion is gone⊠where were we?â
Annabelle took a deep breath âWe should better leaveâŠ.â
Joanna cleared her throat âOf course. Iâd hate to put you through more trouble.â
She took a last look at the painting and hurried downstairs.
âIâll return to the guests now.â She squeezed her hand and scurried off, leaving her alone in the foyer.
She grabbed her bottle and gave it a rather generous chug before considering what to do next.
Her eyes went back where Mr. Harper had scurried off before, the door still open. She glanced around before going to the promised place. As she approached the stables, she heard a beautiful song with a mournful theme, drifting towards her with the soft breeze.
âYour voice, which guided me so far, now fades to memoryâŠâ
That must be Mr. Harper.
Entering the stables, she saw Luke with his fiddle, sitting on a stool, singing to the horses. Bellefleur neighed at the sight of her owner. Mr. Harper stopped playing at the sight of her âLady Joanna.â He smiled.
âMr. Harper, that was a lovely song. Iâve missed your music since our tea in London.â
âYou only must name it, my lady, and I shall sing for you.â
Joanna smiled at him, âIâm counting on that. Though, why are you playing such a lovely song all alone?â
âI have the horses to keep me company. They have been on edge since your father died.â
âHavenât we all?â
âTheir reason is that the earl used to visit the horses every night. Itâs how I got to know him.â His face fell âThey have taken notice of his absence, and they miss him. I was playing them a song to calm their nerves⊠and mine too.â
âThis must be difficult for you⊠I know how much you respected my father.â
âAye, more than any man of his station.â
Joanna chuckled âI know what you mean.â
âIâll miss having him around the stables.â
Her face fell, âYou and everybody.â
Mr. Harper rose and extended his hand to her âWhat say we go outside and enjoy the cool air of the night?â
âMy answer is yes.â She took his hand and allowed him to guide her outside.
Mr. Harper led her through the gardens, near the lake. She looked at the water, now dark blue and then, to the path they just came from.
âYou said that my father used to visit the stable. How come I never knew?â
âIt seemed to be some sort of ritual to him. Horses have always been important to Edgewater, and that legacy was important to the earl. He took notice of my way with animals and we talked through the evening.â Â
âI get it, you know,â Joanna said, looking at the sky, âhaving a legacy to protect at all costs. I used to visit the stables in the Circle, to check that this was real, that I was indeed an Imperial Princess. I, too, shared interests with the Empress. She said that my familyâs castle was the most beautiful she had ever witnessed on her 955 years of life.â
âHow is she like? The Empress, I mean.â
Joanna chuckled âSweet. Wise beyond her centuries. With a knack for knowing what might happen next. Even when her husband, the emperor, was still alive, she was just as important as him. There was a royal bard that compared them to King Arthur and Queen Guinevere.â
âI never made it to The Circle. I had many chances, but my patron was fearful of what they could do to me in there.â
Joanna scoffed âThe Circle is not London. We are very open-minded. Sure! Thereâs an arse who has a narrow mind and still lives in a cavern, but there are many of those everywhere. They wouldnât reject you for what you think. Weâre just weary of mortals because of the genocides and burnings, but not because of your race or upbringing. Itâs such nonsense to hate on someone for being different! Not to mention exhausting. No other person on the planet is the same. Weâre all unique. The sooner you humans own it up, the better.â
âThatâs the secret of a thriving civilization?â
âExactly.â
Mr. Harper smiled down to her âYou will be a great Empress.â
âWhy do you think so?â
âYou know your history. You are wise, and look out for your people, and youâre fearless and inspiring, and likeable. How could you not be a good Empress?â
They walked through several paces, staring at the moonlit plants.
âSo, Mr. Harper, I believe I was promised a song?â
âAye, you were, though you heard some of it.â
âDid you write it? Impressive.â
âI surely did. I started writing it after your father passed⊠though I confess I do not know how to finish it.â He looked at her through the eyelashes âI hoped you might help me.â
âIâd love to. Letâs hear it, then.â
Mr. Harper released her arm and placed the fiddle within his chin. He guided his bow across the strings, eliciting the same haunting melody she heard before.
âYour voice, which guided me so far, now fades to memory⊠And though I carry you in my heart, it seems youâre lost to me. If I could, Iâd follow you to the realms beyond my sight. But in lieu, Iâll think of you, as you pass into the night.â Mr. Harperâs hands and voice went still, and looked at Joanna expectantly.
âI think it should end up as âTo show me how to be someone who you would be proud of.ââ
Luke looked at her with fondness âHe was proud of you, you know that, right?â
Joanna chuckled bitterly, âI hope youâre right.â A half-smile spread all over her face, and she drew out a sigh âYou know, Iâve played many instruments, but never the fiddle.â
âIâve taught many fellow soldiers the basics. If you see that as a worthy instruction, I would be happy to do the same for you.â
Joanna smiled at him âIt never hurts to learn more. I pretty much dominate the pianoforte; this should be a piece of cake.â
Mr. Harper handed her the fiddle and placed it gently against her chin âWhen using the bow,â he started explaining, now his voice in a teaching tone, âlet the weight of your hand provide the power. Use your muscles only to provide guidance.â He stepped back and waited for her to begin. Joanna placed the bow on the strings, a beautiful melody coming out of her hands, a melody about how one was lost in oneself, yearning to find their place in the world. Luke beamed at her, âI knew you could do it, though Iâd like to provide you some guidance. May I?â
âPlease.â
Mr. Harper moved behind her and placed his hands over the neck of the bow, covering her own hands. Joanna couldnât just ignore the pressure of his body against her, the solidity of his muscles. She hummed pleased âLike this.â He moved her hands, tilting the bow and drawing it effortlessly across the strings âYou will certainly get the hang of it with a bit of practise.â
Joanna decided to be a bit coy, and started to move in tandem with Mr. Harper, allowing his hands to guide hers, creating a beautiful melody âItâs beautifulâŠâ She commented.
âAye, like the woman who made it.â
Joanna smirked at him, pressing her body against his, gaining from him a muffled squeak âGive yourself some credit, my dear Mr. Harper.â
He cleared his throat and stepped aside. Joanna took the hint, thanking him for his guidance. He responded humbly âMy fiddle and I are at your disposal, should you ever desire another lesson.â
âWhat if what I desire is you?â
He swallowed hard âDonât do that, my lady.â
She looked at him with intensity âDo what exactly?â
He looked at her, his eyes burning with yearning and reluctance âDonât give me hopes that I know will never become true.â
She grabbed his chin and whispered âIf someone is to choose whom I want in my life, it is me, sir. Not them.â
She returned the instrument back to Mr. Harper, who ducked back into the stables to stow it. The few moments he was gone, Joanna took an earnest look at the large estate, weighing her options. When would be the right time to tell them? That the true heir was alive? That she wouldnât be Countess, but Empress instead? That their lives were about to change⊠forever? That a war would start at any moment, any time?
She envied those mortals who when they closed their eyes, they saw only darkness. When she did so, she saw too many things: she saw mayhem, possibilities of all kind, she saw the future and the past. Too many things for her own sanity.
As Mr. Harper emerged, Joanna realised a reality she had been trying to delay for too long, her eyes welling with tears âLukeâŠâ
âWhat is it? Are you alright, my lady?â
âThomas⊠my father⊠everybody I loved, love and will love will die at some point, while I will live forever. I will always be all alone. Which means Iâll never be happy⊠or able to fully commit, knowing that the person will die at some point.â
He moved closer to her and placed a comforting hand on her arm, âYou will be far from alone, my lady. You have your family, Briar, Miss Parsons⊠and you have me. Others care about you⊠even Mr. Sinclaire seems to be warming up to you, and Iâve never seen him being so amiable with anyone, save your father.â
Joanna chuckled between tears âAll of them will die, in, what, eighty years? For you thatâs a lifetime. For me, I will be only beginning my life.â
He gave her arm a comforting squeeze âEven if we do all die in the end but you, we will all be glad to be beside you and some of us might have families of our own⊠even you, if thatâs your call.â
âI⊠wonât deny that the family might start growing at some point⊠The loneliest man of the ton will finally be able to form his own family.â
Mr. Harper frowned âWhat do you mean, my lady?â
She took a deep breath âI cannot say much, but⊠the Goddesses have chosen my heir, and her father is among us.â
âWho is he?â
Joanna sighed âI cannot tell you; but no, he isnât aware that he has a living firstborn daughter⊠yet. But he will. With time. And my guidance.â
She glanced down at his hand, still on her arm. A big storm was coming, yes, but she didnât mind. As long as she had him by her side, sheâd be fine.
âMay I know her name?â He asked of all sudden.
âShe doesnât have one⊠yet. I was thinking Tatiana, or Colette, or Eleanor.â
âWhatever name you choose her, I know youâll be a great mother figure to her. Is he at least married?â
Joanna frowned âIâm sorry⊠I wish I could tell you all about it, but I canât. I made the mother a vow to keep her secret safe from everybody. Itâs not personal, I swear.â
He nodded âI understand.â
She gave him a thankful smile and cleared her throat, wiping out the tears away. Battling against her own common sense, she leaned her head against his shoulder. He reached up to stroke her own hair âWe are all so fortunate to have you here, Lady Joanna.â
âMr. Harper⊠Luke⊠Thank you. Youâve taught me today to worry about the future when it comes. I shall now look at what I have certainty about: the here and now.â
âI am pleased of being of aid.â
She leaned and kissed his cheek tenderly. Mr. Harper stiffed for a moment, not expecting such an improper behaviour, but he did not seem displeased. His cheeks were burning, but he felt in heaven for a moment, like he had been lifted to it. His cheek felt cold the moment her mouth left his skin, his heart beating at an impossible rate.
They stood there for a moment before Joanna stared at the lights of the imposing manor.
âI regret to say this⊠but we should head back, for our sakes.â
âAye, thatâs likely for the best. If it would please you, Iâd like to walk you to the door.â
Joanna smiled at him âIâd love nothing more.â
Mr. Harper obliged and accompanied her back to the entry of the manor. She bid him adieu and returned to her guests, one last person in mind before doing what she had been waiting for a long time.
She took a deep breath and walked straight to Prince Hamidâs direction, chatting animatedly with Mr. Konevi. He was gesticulating widely, but as soon as his eyes saw Joanna, he dropped his arms, his beam visible from the other side of the room âI hope Iâm not interrupting something too interesting.â
âNot at all! Mr. Konevi, I will finish my tale another time. No story is a match for the company of a handsome heiress. You understand, no?â
âAbsolutely, Your Highness.â Replied Mr. Konevi, a coy smile on his face. Then, he left them both with a respectful bow and headed in direction of Mr. Chambers.
âIf itâs not too late, Iâd love to take up the offer of going stargazing with you, if it still stands.â
ââIf it still stands?â Itâs leaping of joy at your acceptance!â He beamed, a wide smile touching his corners.
The prince offered her the crook of his arm and she took it wistfully âLetâs away.â
âYes, letâs.â
Prince Hamid led Joanna to the lake, right into the stillness of the night.
âYou keep a strong face, Lady Joanna⊠Stronger than I could have. What drives your perseverance?â
âHonestly? Iâm not doing so well. Iâm just putting through a polite face and try to contain myself from screaming and crying and kicking like a small child. Iâve done this before, but that does not mean that I will ever get used to it. It happened when my uncles Fabian and Niklaus died, but I barely remember them and I was a child. This is different. Just as it was different when my poor sweet Thomas died. Every death hits different. But this one hurts too much, and itâs hard⊠the what-it-couldâve-been deaths always hurt, especially when it comes to kin.â
Prince Hamid sighed âI know what you mean. When my grandfather died, even if I tried, I couldnât be so brave. If it werenât for my uncle, I donât think I couldâve carried onâŠâ
The two of them reached the lake and the soft light of the moon washed over her. The prince stopped on his tracks and cupped his hands to the sky, pretending to hold the moon âIsnât she handsome tonight?â
Joanna chuckled âHavenât you heard what happens to foolish men who wander at night in a lonesome field at night? Do you really wish to be devoured by some wolf or predator?â
Hamid looked at her with a twinkling mischief on his eyes âI wouldnât mind if a certain panther decided to devour me. I cannot think of a more delicious death.â He winked.
Joanna laughed with a surprised smile âWeâre at a funeral and all you can think about is that? Or youâre simply messing with me?â
He winked at her âYouâll never know.â They both chuckled before clearing their throats; not before looking at one another and looking away. Hamid wasnât the first man who suggested her thatâshe had plenty, in factâbut she always rolled her eyes or slapped them, but with him, it was different. He was different than any other man she ever met. And she wanted to do things well and proper. She just hoped heâd see her that way too.
âDo you find everything the most marvellous thing on Earth?â
He smiled at her âAh, but out of the worldâs greatest beauties, you are its masterpiece.â
She smirked at him âDo tell,â
His smile grew wider, reaching its corners âWhere do I even begin? Your perfect hair, as fiery and beautiful like a bonfire, your eyes, the reflection of the seaâ,â.
Joanna giggled, shaking her head as the prince described her the way he saw her. If only she were half of the woman the prince saw in her âI appreciate it, but Iâm hardly any of those things.â
He looked up at the moon and then back to her âYou remind me of her. The moon, I mean. You have two sides: the light one that everyone sees, drawing the menâs paths and making our nights less lonely, ethereal and complexly beautiful.â
âWhat about the dark?â
âThe dark is the part not everyone pays attention, but itâs still a part of who she is. Without a bit of dark, there wouldnât be any light. You need some darkness in order to shine. The darker she is, the shiniest sheâand youâshall glow.â
She looked at the prince through her eyelashes, not daring to meet his graze âDo you really think so?â
He lifted her hand and kissed it gently and tenderly âI know so. Besides, Iâve always found myself drawn to the moon. She helps me feel steady when I travel.â
Joanna chuckled bitterly âI feel everything but steady right now.â
âPerhaps you should lean into that feeling.â
She leaned forward, wryly, and the prince copied her, but softly fell all the way onto the ground! Joanna laughed surprised, biting her lower lip, trying to muffle without much success the sound âAre you quite alright?â
âI have never felt better! You should join me, my lady! New perspectives are good for the soul!â
âIf you insistâŠâ
She lied next to him in the grass and sighed as she looked at the sky. Prince Hamid turned to her âYou are like Atlas, carrying the world atop your shoulders.â
Joanna chuckled bitterly âIt does feel like it⊠There is so much to doâŠâ
âStars can be helpful during tough times. It could help you focus on them.â
âHm. Iâve studied them and their compositions, but never seen it as something therapeutic.â
âLook at the stars⊠In all of my travels, Iâve learned hundreds of stories about them. They can be quite powerful! How do they make you feel?â
Joanna looked at the stars and took a deep breath, before opening her eyes âThey make me feel⊠nostalgic. Back in the Circle, they say that the stars are the remnants of our ancestors. Their soul goes up to the sky and remain there.â She sighed âWatching over us, making sure weâre happy and all those things, you know?â
âThatâs a curious yet beautiful insight. Your people are really advanced and wise.â
She chuckled to herself âWe still have to learn many more things. Weâre far from perfect.â
Hamid looked at her âBut youâre willing to learn. Not every nation can say the same.â
Joanna chuckled âItâs never too late to learn from your mistakes.â
Knowing that this was a painful subject to her, Hamid changed the subject âThe stars can tell many things about yourself. Your past, present and future are mapped out in the sky.â He smiled.
Joanna snorted âYou should know by now that the stars have very little to do with the future and what could happen.â
âEh, a man can dream.â Then, he frowned âAs I told you before, I struggled greatly with my grandfatherâs death when I was young. I cried for hours the day he diedâŠâ
ââŠUntil your uncle taught you about the constellations.â Joanna finished, not skipping a bit.
He smiled at her gratefully for the memory, âI never knew those little dots held stories! I was so distracted, my tears dried.â
âIâm sorry for your grandfather.â
The prince looked at her and considered it for a moment âPerhaps for this night, we shouldnât focus on what weâve lost⊠For we have gained so much as well! Why not think of those things?â The prince picked her hand and played with her fingers, calloused with war and training and hard work. âI have so much to be grateful forâŠâ
A small cluster of stars, almost in a shape of an arrow, called her attention. She pointed at them âThatâs the Pleiades, isnât it?â
âGood eye! My favourite! We must be kindred spirits, you and I.â
Joanna smiled at him âWe may be.â
âIf I remember well, itâs about a group of sisters.â
He beamed âYes, it is. Or at least the legend says it. It reminds me of my sisters back at home.â
Joanna looked at him with curiosity âSisters? Like, in plural? How many do you even have?â
âYes, I have five! We were all attached like glue to each other when we were little. I miss them dearly when I travel. Looking at the constellation helps me feel like my sisters are here with me.â
âDonât you feel outnumbered or bothered with so many women back at home?â She asked in a teasing manner. He laughed loudly.
âThey can be quite annoying, but I love them with all my heart, even when theyâre as gossip as a widow.â
Joanna giggled âYou mustâve grown with many gits at your door declaring their love to them.â
Hamid chuckled âThey didnât lack suitors, no. Two of them are married and with children, but the others are yet to be married. My sister, Sevim, is quite rebellious. Wonât settle for a man who wonât support her writing career.â
âHey, good for her! If a man wonât accept all of her, he doesnât love her enough.â
Hamid smiled at her âMy thoughts exactly.â
âI may have a theory of where did you learn how to flirt so brazenlyâŠâ
âYouâre not wrong.â
âAm I ever?â They both chuckled âTell me more about your favourite constellations.â
âAnything you wish, my lady. What would you like to know about?â
âHmm⊠how about one about lovers.â
He smiled teasingly âYou can be quite romantic. A woman after my own heart. These are Altair and VegaâŠâ Hamid pointed at two small clusters of stars, separated by the milky way, âAccording to Chinese legend, they were madly in love with one another⊠But their parents disapproved. They separated the pair⊠forever.â
Joanna sighed âNo matter what, history is bound to repeat itself, it seemsâŠâ
âI donât know how anyone could pull apart two people in love⊠it is the greatest treasure the world holds.â
âAnd the purest feeling as well.â
Prince Hamid lied flat on his back and both of them took in the vast look at the sky above them.
âMy people believe the stars burn bright because theyâre filled with the souls of the departed,â he smiled at her âsomewhere in the sky, your father and mother are smiling down on you.â
Joanna frowned, looking at him âUh⊠Who do you think saved you at the races?â
He seemed now confused âAnother aunt of yours?â His eyes went wide open âThat was your mother?!â He lied back again âNo offence, but⊠she looks so young!â
Joanna giggled âSheâd take it as a compliment. How she came back⊠itâs quite difficult to explain.â
âGo on.â
She told him everything: Eliasâs scheme, how he had planned to kill her, how he buried her somewhere no one could ever find her, the dagger, the war coming, the Coventus⊠everything. During ten minutes, the prince was silent, listening to the lady and her adventurous tale ââŠAnd I am confident that the Gods want you to fight beside me, aside from other three people. And my army.â
âThis is⊠my tongue cannot express it well enough! Of course, Iâd love to fight beside you, my lady. I would do it even if destiny wanted me away from you. But who are the others?â
âMr. Sinclaire, Mr. Harper and Miss Parsons.â
âMiss Parsons?â
Joanna snorted âDonât tell me that you donât think women can fight.â
âItâs not that! Itâs just⊠unexpected. I donât doubt Miss ParsonsâIâd be damned if I dared to underestimate that womanâbut I did not see it coming.â
âOne of the brigades of the knights of the Empire are all women. And theyâre just as deadly or more than the menâs brigades.â
His eyes went wide with excitement âI must meet this brigade!â
Joanna giggled âSoon you will.â
Suddenly, they saw a shooting star streak across the sky!
âQuick! Make a wish!â
She closed her eyes and said to herself
I wish to form my own family somedayâŠ
She knew itâd never happen again. When Thomas stabbed her with a dagger, she had died, activating her vampire side, and vampires couldnât have children. And even if she relied on her wolf and faerie side, the Gods would never allow her to bear a mortalâs child at any circumstance.
But only time could tell. Most of them had children with mortals. Why would she be any different?
She hoped that theyâd be benevolent on her. How unfair was that they could have many children and she couldnât?! It would be quite hypocritical of them. Especially Zeus. Not to mention awfully rich of him.
âI wish to be with the ones I love.â
Prince Hamid smiled âThat is my wish as well.â He rolled over and took her hand in his. He tenderly played with her fingers and placed a kiss on her wrist. He could almost feel her pulse quicken. âIf I may confess⊠I have been wishing for that since we met.â
Joanna snorted âYou wished to be alone with a complete stranger?â
He smiled at her slyly âAnd how could I not, when said complete stranger is a dashing, alluring and most handsome woman my eyes have ever contemplated?â The shooting star winked brightly, then vanished into the darkness. âIn my travels, I have heard that the shooting stars represent both endings and beginnings. But I like to think that someone in the Heavens is thinking of you.â
With her hand, she traced the path of the star and sighed âI miss you too, Father. Very much.â
The damp chill of the earth took over her body and shivered slightly.
Prince Hamidâs face fell âI suppose mother earth is telling us weâve been gone too long.â
She looked at him âMother Earth has bigger worries than us.â
She wiggled towards him and then in his arms, resting her head lightly on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat quickening beneath his chest, and felt his muscles flex beneath her as he placed his hands on her back. She looked at him with yearning and her pupils went dark and her lips separated. He pulled her even closerâŠ
âCan I tell you a secret?â He whispered. She nodded, âWhen we are apart, and my heart longs for you⊠I always look at the moon.â
âOh, I know this one. Because it gives you reassurance that we are not so apart and we will always be under the same star.â
He feigned disappointment âDonât tell me Iâm not the first man who has told you this.â
With a movement of her body, he was pinned in the grass, his hands still firm on her as she leaned and whispered âYouâre the only one who has meant them.â
âReally?â
She nodded, her hand tracing his strong jaw⊠then his neck⊠then his chest... she could see his dark eyes were now blown pupils, his chest heaving, full of longing and a bit of desire, licking his lips.
He lifted his head, trying to reach hers, his firm hands begging her close, their chests together, both their cheeks red and breaths ragged, waiting for the other to make the move.
The prince tried to seek any signal that he was crossing a line, but all he could see in her was that she wanted him to take her there, and he might. One word and he would. His hand travelled to her hair and begged her even closer, too many unspeakable thoughts racing his mind, her word only holding him back. If she were to take him right there, heâd be all hers for the rest of the eternity of his body, mind and soul. Only hers. As it had been since that moment at the opera. He ventured that even before, as if Allah had placed him on his realm to be with her. He would not complain at all. On the contrary. He was ready to dedicate the rest of his life to worship her for the rest of his life, with virtues and sins included, no matter what, come what may.
He swore he heard her whisper his name, now with a far more vulnerable and desiring tone⊠he only needed to finally lock lips with her and heâd be all hers in matter of mind, soul, body and being.
When a duck loudly quacked, startling both of them out of the moment. Hamid pulled back and shook his head, âMy lady, I forget myself. I think that is duck for âit is time to go insideâ.â
âDo you really care for what a duck has to say?â She seemed bothered.
He gulped and caressed her face âI do not wish to ruin your reputation and good name or offend you in any way, my lady.â
She whispered in his ear âLet me worry about my reputation and good name.â
He inhaled sharply âMy lady⊠do not mistake me. I yearn for this more than anything on earth, but we could be spotted and itâs your fatherâs funeral. Itâs just⊠not the right time, my lady. Not yet.â
She sighed, nodding as she got up and brushed off the detritus off her dress and hair âFine, you have a point, but Iâll take the ânot yetâ when time comes.â She winked.
He smiled at her âI shall await every day for that occasion.â The prince offered the crook of her arm and she took it âShall we?â
Back in the foyer, prince Hamid bid Joanna goodbye.
Looking for any signal of being watched, she ducked back out and raced towards the graveyard, where her fatherâs body now rested. She made sure no one else could see her and finally broke down in tears. She got on her knees, clutching her fatherâs ring and sobbing more loudly than she cared to admit, she started to talk âI still donât understand why the hell did you leave us. We had so many things to do⊠so many things left unsaid for the rest of my lifeâŠâ
âI know the feeling,â She whipped her head to find her mother, in a beautiful Dracarian mourning dress and knelt down with her daughter. They both cried in silent, leaning on the otherâs shoulders and mourning him together.
âWill it always hurt so much?â She asked to her mother.
âNot always. It will always hurt, but one day, youâll heal from the burning pain and learn how to live with it.â
When Joanna retired to her room, Odessa was left with him at last. Or, well, what was left of him on Earth.
âI always wondered, all these years⊠why, Vincent? Why didnât you fight for me, for us, if your love was so deep? Why did you just⊠gave up on us? Turned your back on me, on her? Do you have any idea of the damage you caused? How much IâŠâ she inhaled sharply, shakily, finally saying those words out loud âhow much I needed you beside me? To raise her? Love her? Give her the infancy she deserved? I never understood. I thought our love was the rare one that really could move mountains, yet you shitted your pants the moment we were threatened and ran away from the beginning.â She took a deep breath âYou made me happier than anyone else on earth, yet you broke my heart like I never thought you would be capable of so. After all I confided you, open you a heart that had been caged for five hundred years to then throw it all away for your daddyâs approval⊠I was angry at you. I really was. I still am. I thought you didnât care at all. We couldâve fought back. I had the sources.â She punched the ground âDammit, a whole empire waited for you! A family that saw who you really were, not what you expected you to be! And you chose them over us! OVER ME!!â She did not know what she said next.
She spent the next hour yelling at his grave, from calling him out to try to understand why to then beg him to come back to her. She had never felt like this before, and she hated it. Her heart ached in a way that burned her alive, slowly, agonizingly, excruciatingly. She cried and cried, over and over, finally letting go of everything she bottled up for twenty-one years.
ââŠAnd the worst of it is that I will never have the chance to tell you face-to-face!â
She wailed, now lying on the ground, her heart heavier than the universe itself.
And, for a few hours, she slept like a new-born, thing that hadnât happened in a century and half.
A few days later, Joanna, Briar and Darcy were walking down the hall together. She paused at the entrance of her fatherâs bedroom and tears pickled on her eyes.
âA week later, and I still canât believe that he is truly gone⊠it all happened so fastâŠâ
âItâs odd not finding tea service or a fire in his room.â Briar added.
Darcy whined, joining the sighs of the ladies. Joanna scratched his ear.
âShame that he never got to meet youâŠâ She heard a meow and the little panther came out of the room, a sack of letters on her mouth. She tried to give them to Joanna. She chuckled âMy father trained you well, didnât he?â
Briarâs attention was now on the little panther âOooh, sheâs so adorable! Arenât you a little panther that will never eat me alive? Yes, you are, yes you are!â
âLetâs focus on these letters. If this pretty girl says they might be important, they must be! Letâs go!â
They rushed towards her room and she locked it in a way not even the countess could come in.
âThese span years.â
âLook at this one! It dates before I was even born! I wonderâŠâ
She picked the yellowed envelope and started to read:
17th of April, 1795
My dearest,
I write to you with a mixed heart, for I just found out that I am with child. Your child, borne in our love.
The thought of raising your child cheers my heart, for it was what I always wanted, but also breaks it, for you wonât be able to see them grow. No matter who they become, they will always be a reminder of you and the fact that you and I are no more. The elders are angry and my world has just fallen apart. I do not know what to do. For the first time in centuries, Iâm terrified. I really wish you were here to guide me. You were always the voice of reason of us both.
After the dreadful annulment, your father told me not to write, but pardon my language, he can stick his threats up to his tight arse. I do not wish anything from you. Itâs been me against the world for nearly eight centuries, I wonât stop now. But it cannot stop me from lamenting that you will never get to see our sweet, beautiful babe.
Forever in your heart,
Mary.
When she finished reading, she observed Briar sniffling with Darcy in her arms âSome things never change.â
âLeave me be, itâs just so tragic!â
âVery well, we shall read them all.â
âThought youâd never say it!â
âEven I am curious of what happened through her eyes.â She admitted. She caught one and gasped âThis was from my birth!â
âWhat does it say?â Briar asked.
She ran her fingers through her motherâs letter and started reading:
12nd of April, 1795
My dearest,
She has arrived. Our little, precious girl is now part of this cold, cruel world that has dared to separate us. She was born as the morning birds sang and the people in the village protested about how unfair the big cities are with themâshe will indeed become an opinionated woman with a fighting spirit, I can tell.
I have named her Joanna Feyre Anissa Julia Devonne Celestia, but when I nurse her I call her JoJo, like my good friend Juana de TrĂĄmstara, or known as Joanna The Mad. I figured to have a laugh at history about the name Joannaâmany controversial women in history were named like that, and by how I plan to raise her, sheâll cause many turmoils among those idiotic grown menâlike the dingus of your father. She has your smileâand what a smile! I pray to the Gods that she inherits your unconditional kindness and a bit of my witsâsheâs so beautiful, she will cause quite a stir, and you know the price of being poor and beautiful.
I am well aware of the danger of writing to you, but I think youâre entitled to know about her. I have moved to a small village called Grovershire so she and I may be a family. Elias volunteered as a guardian. I know what you must think: he was the one to rat us out, but he is trying to redeem himself. He really is. And I believe him.
I pray to the Gods that we may be someday three.
Yours,
Mary
âI did not know that you had six names! I wonder who that Juana the Mad wasâŠâ Briar exclaimed.
âA new thing that you know about me.â She sighed âI wonder what wouldâve happened if father ever read thoseâŠâ
âDo you think he wouldâve been able to join you in Grovershire?â
A familiar voice interrupted the women âKnowing that hopeless romantic, he wouldâve cancelled his marriage to that sniper and made me his Countess and you, the Lady of the House. He was more than a dreamer; he was a firm believer of love.â
Briar gasped âMiss Mills! Youâre alive!â
âNo, Iâm a ghost. Boo!â Odessa teased the young woman.
âWhy is your hair now brunette?â
Odessa smirked âIâll tell you one day over that tea you so love.â
Briar looked to the woman âDo you think⊠it would have been a chance to be a family?â
Odessaâs face fell âPerhaps, but it is too late to lament of impossible what-could-have-been. We must focus on the present now. But please, keep reading. I know those letters by heart.â
She picked a letter from the middle âOh, look, my first birthday!â
Odessa smiled as she leaned on the window.
12nd of April, 1796
My dearest,
I did it. I survived my first year with our precious Joanna without your guidance. On challenging days, I think of you and your patience. I cannot replicate it to perfection, but I do my best.
Joanna has walked for the first time and said her first word: Papa. Which, I confess, I tried not to cry. I was overjoyed but⊠what was the point of saying that word when youâre not there to be as overjoyed, cover her in kisses and ask her to repeat it while you boast to everybody that your daughterâs first word is Papa? It burned my stomach alive, but when I saw her, smiling and laughing, I could not help but smile too. When she walked towards me, I saw the firmness and determination to get to me no matter how many times she fell. That was so you⊠Iâm completely whipped about her. She is a female incarnation of you.
She is so dauntingly similar to you; it breaks my heart and makes it soar at the same time. People will start noticing how little alike me she is. Iâve had to make up a story about how I ended up in here. I never liked changing names and making up backstories and change places, but itâs the place to be me. If anyone asks, my name is Ellen Mills. Only one person knows my other undercover name.
Yours come what may:
Mary
Briar wondered âIf being apart was so painful, why write? Wouldnât that reopen the wound?â
Odessa placed a hand on the young womanâs shoulder âWhen you love someone so much, it does not matter how bad it hurts or burns you alive, you never lose hope of seeing their face again and tell them the things left unsaid. It is the magic of true love, dear girl. You will know it when the right man comes, no matter if itâs tomorrow or forty-seven years later. If I learned something with Vincent, it was that, no matter how old you are, thereâs always time and chance to love. The funniest part is that you never know where itâll catch you, it just does, and when it does, you pray your Gods every night it never lets you go, no matter the circumstances.â
Briar nodded âYou always had the wisest advices, madam.â
Briar handed her a letter that hadnât been so touched by time, unlike the others.
âThis one is⊠dated years after!â
She picked the letter and began to read
31st of August, 1800
My dearest,
Forgive me for not writing in a long time, but the lack of response made me lose hope of hearing from you and not the mongrel of your father.
I write to you because Joanna has been asking for you, and often. As her curiosity grows, my persistence weakens by the day. I have been trying to give her a solid answer, but nothing has come to mind: many lives lying to half of the world, and I cannot bring myself to lie to my little girl so brazenly without my heart breaking in a million pieces. It is an utter injustice that she shall never get to know the great man who sired her.
I yearn to hear your words, your voice⊠I yearn for you like no other. Even if I have tried to get her a father figure, they all remind me that they are not you. They are not enough. They lack what you, and only you, have. She does not lack candidates of men willing to raise her, but it is me who is so reluctant and demanding. But can you blame me? I want the best for my girl, and the best is you, my dear. No matter what, our souls remain connected for the rest of eternity until we reunite again. Come what may.
Each stroke of the quill feels like a flog on my heart, but I have borne worse. Iâm not giving up on you, Vincent. As long as I write, there will be solid proof of our love.
Yours till death,
Mary.
âNow you know both sidesâŠâ
Odessa sighed âItâs a pity that you knew about it so late and in such circumstances.â
ââTis.â
She stared at the yellowed letters resting on her lap.
âHow do you feel, now that you know the full story?â Briar asked.
âI feel⊠I feel angry.â She looked at her mother âYou did nothing wrong. Your intentions were good. You loved and respected him, and were influential and powerful, and knew how to run an estate. Why tear you apart?â Tears prickled at her face.
âBecause he saw a mere singer when he looked at me. Not either of those traits.â
Joanna looked at her mother âItâs a good thing that you assured my grandfatherâs fate. Should he had lived when I did, I would have struck him down myself.â
Briar gasped, horrified âYouâd kill your own kin?â
Joanna spit on the floor âHe is nothing to me.â
Sunny whined. Joanna heard footsteps.
âWe should hide these, and so should you, Mama.â
âGive them to me.â She said instead.
âWhat?â
Odessa looked at her daughter âIâll need them if I want to clean your name. That little girl needs a good family.â
Joanna nodded âVery well. Now, run! The footsteps are growing more impatient. It must be Bitterta.â
Odessa nodded and jumped off the window, disappearing from the view as Henrietta busted into the room âGive me my letters back!â
Joanna smirked âToo late, Bitterta. Theyâre in better hands and in their way to clean my name. Youâve lost. I win.â She got closer to her âI always win. Do you hear me? Al-ways.â
âAs if any judge would believe you.â
Joannaâs smile grew wider âI have friends too. Powerful ones.â
Henrietta snorted âLike who? The wealthiest baker in London?â
She grabbed her letter from her reticule âThe Tsar of Russia. This is a copy of his letter to the Prince Regent, confirming him of my parentâs marriage.â She tried to snatch it, but she was faster âTs, ts. Donât grab things that arenât yours. Or didnât your mommy teach you that? Was she so awful at motherhood as you are?â
Her face turned red âHow dare you talk to me like that?â
Joanna smirked to her âWhat are you going to do about it? Go on, tell me, weakling. Iâm dying to know what a whining old hag like you could do to me.â
âThis isnât over!â
âIt is. And I result winner. So⊠Iâd start packing your things if I were you. You wonât step foot here while I live.â
âWhat would your fatherâ,â
âDO NOT TALK ABOUT HIM AS IF YOU EVER GAVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM.â She yelled, her eyes now bright topaz, the floor trembling. The countessâs face went white and gasped before running away.
âJoanna,â Briar called âI know these are hard times for you, but youâve been acting weirdly for a long time. Every time something like that happens, the floor shakes and people run away and call you a monster. You come with brutal wounds that should kill you and survive without being in bed for weeks! Some people call you Highness! Not to mention that in the letters, your mother mentions to have lived thorough centuries!â Briar looked at her âI need to know: why is this happening? What is that secret that youâre keeping from me?â
Joanna sighed âI guess it is time you know.â She took a deep breath âI am no ordinary girl, that you know. But Iâm neither human.â
âWhat?â
She sat on the bed and told her everything: her origins, her powers, her mission, her plans, her motherâs shenanigans and even the next things to happen in a matter of weeks.
âSo⊠youâre a Goddess. All kind of foul creatures exist. You were destinated to meet them all, Harryâs alive and in France and⊠Mr. Sinclaire has a bastard daughter that is the future Empress of the Empire?â She paced around, taking it all in âI just⊠this is⊠why didnât you tell me sooner?â
Joanna sighed âI could not take any chances, not after the witch-hunt. I thought⊠Iâd scare you away and youâd give me up to the authorities.â
Briar scoffed, clearly offended âYou thought that Iâd judge you and rat you out? Me, of all people? Me, your best friend?!â
âI know, and Iâm sorry. Youâre in all your right to be mad at me. I wanted to tell you but⊠the timing wasnât right. People get hurt when they know of this world, Briar.â
âOh, you think me weak because Iâm human and mortal?!â
âI never said that.â
Briar had been crying of rage and disappointment âA few moments ago, I thought that our friendship meant something to you. Turns out, it doesnât.â
Joanna got up and placed her arms on hers âIt does, Bree! Youâre one of the best things to happen to me, and I really wanted you to know! But my mother⊠I did it to protect you. Iâve watched too many people die in this world and I wouldnât forgive myself if something happened to you.â
âWell, turns out youâve hurt me before this âworldâ ever had the chance.â
âBreeâ.â
But she stormed out off the room before she could muster those words.
As she came out, Joanna slumped on her bed, crying, not caring for now who could see her. But when she closed her eyes, what she saw was too much.
Elias paced down his own cave, a smirk on his face and a projection of London. He looked at his army, a rather numerous one âMy dear acolytes, in two nights, we shall take London and burn it to the ground, starting by Opera St. JamesâŠâ
A small boy raised his hand âAnd then what, sir?â
He smirked ruefully at the boy âThen⊠we kill Vunera. With the blood of her loved ones, we have extracted and by Samaelâs Blade, she shall be dead⊠alongside Planet Earth and everything she worked for. And after the Earth, weâll go for the ENTIRE UNIVERSE!â
The army roared as Elias laughed wickedly, and smirked to her.
Joanna jumped off the bed, panting and gasping. This couldnât happen. She had to prepare them somehow. But how? Theyâve never fought a magical war before, and they didnât have proper training.
Mother.
She wrote to the Empressâs secretary and gathered her things. Then, she went to find Briar, clutching the necklace. She slammed the servantâs door open and scanned for Briar. She also beckoned Mr. Woods âBriar, Mr. Woods, I require your immediate service.â She regained breath and gave them the supplies âI need you to find my mother and make sure her paperwork makes it to London and then go to a safehouse. Mr. Woods, you must protect Miss Daly at all costs. I shall reward you handsomely if sheâs alive when I come back,â she sighed âif I come back. Now, thereâs no more time to waste. And the rest of you, gather my fatherâs men! I have a feeling that they will try to take Edgewater. Backup and war supplies will come shortly. Come on, go to work, everybody!â She grabbed Briar by the arm and took her to a small corner despite her protests. She placed the necklace on her hands. It had a bright topaz stone, guarded with a strong, heavy iron and looked at her in the eyes âLook, danger is ahead and a battle will break soon. I must ensure your safety. When you feel that the battle breaks and comes into the safehouse, grab this as tightly as you can and repeat the next words: reppellio demonium averno. And loudly so it works. It will keep you safe. Now, hurry! Try to get to London before the 4th of May.â
âIn three days? Why?â
Joanna sighed and looked both ways before looking at Briar again âBecause in that night, the most gruesome and difficult battle will take place. And thereâs a chance that I might die.â
Without saying another word, she ran off to her fatherâs study and started writing Flying Letters and waited at the lake.
The four people gathered with urgency at the Edgewater Lake, where Lady Joanna waited impatiently. It was Mr. Harper who asked âWhat is it, my lady?â
âIt is time.â
âTime for what, my lady?â Prince Hamid asked.
She just looked at the road to London and sighed âI had hoped we had more time to prepare you all, but we must make haste.â
âPrepare us for what?â Miss Parsons asked.
âTell us, my lady.â Mr. Sinclaire pleaded.
Joanna looked at them all âWeâre at the edge of a big war. The world isnât safe for you anymore. Weâre going to the only safe place to prepare you and keep you safe.â
âWhere is that, my lady?â Hamid asked.
Joanna turned her back on them and closed her eyes. She channelled her force and incantated the spell. A minute later, a portal with a forest that showed the way to a fantasy kingdom appeared âWeâre going to my home. The Circle, capital of the Dracarian Empire.â
Mr. Harper chuckled shockingly âThe greatest empire of them allâŠâ
He was the first one to go in, eager to know personally the empire he had grown up reading about. Prince Hamidâs excited curiosity followed. Then Miss Parsons. She offered Mr. Sinclaire her hand âShall we?â
He stood there in silence before nodding âLetâs go.â
And trespassed the portal, that closed itself after Joanna got in.
During the journey, Mr. Sinclaireâs grip didnât falter and they arrived in a small forest. An imposing marble wall was before them. Two rather tall guardians stood there, intimidating, but Joanna didnât flinch and introduced herself to them. The guardiansâ eyes went wide and bowed before her âYour Imperial Highness, it is an honour to have you back. I take these are your guests?â
âYes. We must go in. A war is coming and they are in need of training.â
The other guard looked at them and asked her âAre they who I think they are? The Empressâs prediction is true?â
âYes, Aberama. They are my Four Holy Saviours. Theyâre finally here.â
The guardians rapidly opened the doors and bowed to each of them âItâs an honour to open the doors of your awaited homes, my lords⊠and lady.â They bowed one more time before they passed the walls and closed before them. Joanna smiled at them, extending her arms âWelcome to the heart of the Dracarian Empire, The Circle; my home.â
Duke Richards paced impatiently, ranting and throwing things âHow the hell a mere bastard could be more powerful and influential than me?! ME!! Iâm the Duke of Karlington, she should fear me!â He looked angrily at his minions âYou had one job! Learn all of Lady Joannaâs secret to coerce her to be my wife! And you failed!!â He threw a jar to them and the younger one whimpered âYou are both useless! You wonât get any coin from me, and I shall destroy you! GET OUT!â
âNo wonder Joanna defeated you. You have no self-control and donât know how to find the right man for the task at hand.â
He whipped himself to the white-haired man âWho are you and how did you trespass this house?â
âItâs quite easy. And as for who I am⊠I am the solution to all your problems.â
He scoffed âAnd how could you be my solution?â
He smirked âBecause I know Joanna Mills like she were my own daughter. I have raised her and made her who she is nowadays. I know exactly her weaknesses and strengths. Work with me⊠and you shall have everything you ever wanted and more.â
Duke Richards smiled sinisterly âThis is what I needed. What is your price?â
He got up and took the dukeâs arm âI want the Crochane familyâs heads on a spike and Joannaâs powers for me.â The duke started gasping and choking, his veins turning black as he fell on his knees and looked at the man. He smiled ruefully âFor now on, I own you, Tristan Richards of Karlington. You live⊠and you die according to my will and pleasure.â
With that, he got into his body and the duke screamed for help, but it was too late. He dropped on the floor and passed out.
Several minutes later, he got up and looked at himself in the eyes and laughed wickedly. He was no longer the Duke of Karlington. He was Elias⊠more powerful than ever. With one movement of his hand, down to the floor, the so feared cross appeared and yelled âRaise, my children! War is upon us! At the end of the week, we shall have the entire universe at our disposal. Darkness shall reign one more time, and I shall be the King of Kings!â He laughed loudly, wickedly as all types of dark monsters came out of the ground, his eyes turning black and the sky darkening âI am coming for you, Vunera.â

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â§ËÂ°àż because I'm returning to school and will have little to no time to check my notifications, I've made this tag for mutuals or anyone really to tag me in any of their creations (gifsets, edits, moodboards, fics...)! do not hesitate to use #usersclara for anything you want me to see! đ
2/3 pining idiots for @missameliep â  emma woodhouse x george knightley âtell me, emma. have i no chance of ever succeeding? my dearest emma, for dearest you will always be, my dearest, most beloved emma, tell me at once. i cannot make speeches. if i loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more. but you know what i am. i have lectured you, and iâve blamed you, and you have borne it as no other woman in england could have borne it. god knows i have been a very indifferent lover, but you understand me. you understand my feelings. will you marry me?â
thinking about ketterdam one hundred years in the future, when all the crows have died, and all their souls laid to rest. thinking about how âdirtyhandsâ will be this mythic figure - a spirit some men try to evoke when planning vengeful deeds, a name that poor youths will whisper in an awed-like prayer. how the corpsewitch will be this folklorish figure that mothers will use to scare their children into obedience â âbe good, or the corpsewitch will come for you!â how the wraith will be a sailors superstition, and a legacy itself, because the first captain would have passed down the mantle, and wouldnât have wanted her ideals to end with her. how the story of the sharpshooter and the merchling will be a fairytale and a dream - a beacon of hope for lovestruck teens, with dozens of retellings and adaptations, and something honey-sweet in itâs every line. how the auction and story of kuwei yul-bo will be a conspiracy almost forgotten to time, but with too many notes in the margins to disappear entirely. how the story of a drĂŒskelle soldier who learned the error of his ways and fought for something grander than the self will be a hope and a cautionary tale all at once. how these stories will live on in the grishaverse for years on end - perhaps with details fading into obscurity, but something golden still lingering in the fabric of ketterdam.









