#userjule

Get to Know My Character

Aaaa, thank you for the ask, Julia! 💖

7. What is their most important or enforced boundary?

I think when it comes to Maleane, it's all about trust. She's very guarded and presents a facade to everyone and it's only a select few people who get to know the person underneath it all.

One of the strongest boundaries would probably have to do with mind-reading. She doesn't want anyone poking around inside her head and I feel like it would be even worse if it was someone close to her. It's a sort of 'I already revealed so much to you and showed you parts of myself that no one else gets to see and that wasn't enough?' thing where Mal would probably consider it a deal-breaker.

It doesn't help that having the Emperor messing around with her inside the one place she'd feel safe in (growing up with a strict drow mother made it really difficult to voice thoughts that didn't align with Ashe's mindset so Maleane would often keep everything inside) really fucked her up, so that adds to the whole thing.

17. What part of their past are they most ashamed of?

Shame is definitely not an emotion that is often found in her psyche, but that doesn't mean there are no traces of it at all.

A big part of Maleane's early journey was actually addressing those feelings of shame and learning how to process them. One part of it was her feeling guilt and shame over her mother's death. It's obvious that there was nothing she could've done in that situation, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't carry traces of guilt over it. The shame of being weak, of hiding, of not being able to save those who mattered.

Another part is definitely more intimate and has to do with the way she perceives sex. Mal was raised on the notion that as a drow woman, she is supposed to be dominant and take what she wants. And yet when she was manipulating Astarion and going along with his little game, she realized that she was enjoying being passive and somewhat submissive. That immediately filled her with shame and she struggled with that cognitive dissonance a lot. Eventually, sleeping with a person she could trust and taking things slow helped her untangle a lot of those complex feelings and having her partner navigate the whole thing with her definitely helped shake off a lot of negativity associated with intimacy.

It still plays a role in her general nature of putting up a facade and she definitely hides the fact that she's a bit of a pillow princess from the general public. She very much acts like she'd a dom mommy and only relaxes a bit around those she trusts or knows she won't meet again.