#unrequitedness

All my life I've only given

given myself entirely

not to humans

but to vultures

waiting for someone vulnerable

they can use and dispose of

to devour unabashedly

until the marrow is no more

I've been chewed and spat

worn like a rag

discared the moment I served no more purpose

I've been the brief amusement

to entertain their lust and gluttony

thrown like a broken toy

or burnt to cinders like old paper

I'ts like suicide

every time I cover my own eyes

and pretend I can handle beasts

all they eager to ravage me

anxiously decending into their pit

I profess love and courage

the very moment I feel their teeth

I conceal my pain and tears

with words of hope and fidelity

An immolation of emotions

an offering of faith

promises tainted in blood

lies painted in gold

I decieve my very spirit

with each attempt on my life

fabler of dreams

forger of truths

my role as a lamb

a saviour

and a fool

I feel so stupid for telling you how much I love you

I feel so idiotic for believing you could love me too

I am naive for trusting again

for letting passion cloud my vision

and lull all my senses

Once more I stand betrayed

but can I really blame you?

I just saw what I needed to see

my heart’s desire overwhelming me

I’ve made a fool of myself

so many times I’ve lost count

Always end up in tears

promising lies I cannot make real

I’ve said to myself enough times to be clear

I will never be enough for anyone

but it’s like Im deaf and short of memory

I forget the moment hope crosses my path

that wretched thing that refuses to die

Could you be the one to kill it?

Could you finally put it to rest?

Should I beg you to do me that kindness?

Just shoot that last bullet before you leave

do me that favor

a fair exchange for what I gave you

I would cry if my pride wasn’t in the way

I know tears would cost me more than I can afford

I’ve paid with enough heartache

I will be destitute in no time

Homeless and heartless

Now it’s my turn to close the eyes

shut the windows and bathe in cold regret

Not looking back at any of them

and every time I remember your name

I shall expunge it from within

One letter at a time

I’ll erase every syllable that holds a memory

whether its sweet or painful

They don’t matter anymore

Did they ever matter to you at all?

Was this doomed since the very beginning?

Was it all a make-believe?

One of those tales I tell myself to sleep

pure fantasy, delusion and deceit

a honeyed lullaby

a sugar coated forgery

One with eyes of gorgeous green

contagious laughter and sincere madness

Will I ever be able to create another story?

One containing the charm you hold in the exquisiteness of your voice

A fable of trust and soulmates in love…