#unmmm

 “ c’mere, baby.” megan murmurs, smiling up at you. megan notices that you don’t understand what the hell she’s asking for. “ come sit on my lap, dimwit.” she specifies, a smile playing on her lips. your face flushes red with embarrassment, but you comply, your leg swinging over her thigh as you settle on top of her.

 “not a clue in the fuckin’ world.” megan murmurs, her hands sliding up your waist. “well? you gonna move or what?” she cocks an eyebrow. “be patient.” you say gruffly. suddenly— you feel hands that arent megan’s behind you, moving up from the back of your neck to your hair, wrenching your head back. it’s dani. “dont speak to her that way. is that any way talk to mommy?” you furrow your eyebrows, snarling at her. “you’re not my fuckin’ mommy, neither is she.” you gesture to megan.   

dani’s eyes widen— not out of surprise, but anger. “oh, really?” she says.suddenly, she pushes your head away roughly, pulling her fingers out of your hair in the process. “you wanna be a fuckin’ brat? you wanna be disobedient?” you don’t reply, pouting at her. “answer me, you fuckin’ slut.” she whispers harshly, her hands coming down to tightly grip your wrist, nails digging into your sensitive skin. “i shouldn’t have to listen to you, i’m a grown woman.” you murmur. 

megan doesn’t say anything, simply watching the interaction with a small smile. only after she begins to notice that dani can’t hold her temper does she actually say something. “be easy on the mutt, dani. i mean, she’s pathetic, but she likes to believe she really has a right to be so disrespectful. she wishes she had the right, at least. a hungry man dreams of bread.” megan teases, her hand coming down to slap your ass. 

you scoff at her words. “excuse me?” megan smirks. “you heard me. you wish you could do whatever you wanted, just like me and dani. but you can’t. you’re too pathetic. nobody would let you disrespect them.” your eyes widen in disbelief. “first of all, i am not a mutt— second of all, you do not speak to me like th—“ you gasp— interrupted by a slap across your face. did.. megan just… ?   

“think before you speak to me like that again.” megan replies— her voice quiet, but firm. you don’t reply, staring at her in disbelief. behind you, dani sits angrily on the plush leather couch in the club. she takes small sips of her liquor, trying to calm herself. “you made dani angry. huài gū niang. (bad girl.)”  she delivers another slap to your ass, making you yelp. “enough!” megan raises an eyebrow. “fine, fine. you still owe dani, though. shes pissed the fuck off.” megan chuckles. 

you sigh with annoyance, sitting up. megan watches as you saunter over to dani, almost cautiously. “hey.” you say flatly. dani’s head snaps towards you. “what?” she she asks sharply. you furrow your eyebrows slightly but shake your head, attempting to brush off her harsh reaction. “i .. wanna make it up to you. cuz im sorry.” you murmur. dani pauses before speaking. “get on your knees.” you dont refuse, immediately dropping to your knees in front of her. she smiles. “eat my pussy like a good girl, mami.” 

you dont hesitate to grab at her skirt, pulling it down and off her ankles. you lean in, running your tongue along her panties— teasing her through the wet fabric. she slaps you across the face— and it sends a shiver down your spine. you look up at her immediately— almost as if to ask what you did wrong. “did i ask for a dumb fucking slut to tease me?” she asks, growing more impatient. “you must be fucking testing my anger, you mutt.” you pout slightly but understand her anger, finally hooking a finger into her panties. you bring them down — tossing them across the room. you press your lips against her pussy, kissing the soft skin before delving your tongue inside of her.

she hums softly at the feeling, her fingers threading into your hair. she brings you a little closer, feeling your tongue circling her clit. she moans. megan watches from a distance , but finally stands up, walking over to sit down next to dani. “what a fucking mutt.” she mutters, more to herself rather than dani or you— all as she watches you eagerly lapping at dani’s pussy. she leans down to whisper in your ear. “hǎo gū niang. (good girl.)” you shiver slightly, never stopping your ministrations.  megan’s hands slide up dani’s body, softly cupping her breast through the fabric of her t-shirt. “dani.” she said softly. “would you be a darling and touch me? i dont wanna feel left out, now.” dani sighs softly before nodding. she moans softly as her hands move up megan’s thigh, not hesitating to push her panties to the side and circle her clit. megan’s head lolls back, she moans softly. “ah.. zhēn bù cuò .. (wonderful..)” she breathed out.  dani  feels herself growing closer, she grips your hair tighter. “make me cum, mutt.” she says sharply, pulling at your hair. megan smiled coyly, leaning in to whisper in dani’s ear. “ ‘m close too, dani.” she says. dani moves her fingers faster at megan’s revelation, not needing to say a word. megan moans again, this time, louder. both dani and megan are breathing heavily. “i’m gonna cum..” megan murmurs. “me too..!” dani replies, inhaling sharply.  your tongue moves faster against dani’s clit. dani throws her head back, her orgasm crashing over her. “f—fuck..” she breathes out. megan moans— cumming just after dani does. the two girls pant heavily. dani sits up, grabbing her skirt, putting it back on with ease. megan stands up with her, looking down at you. she notices how you sit there. pathetic. panting and looking up at her as if you’re expecting something. “ah.” she hums, realization dawning on her. “the mutt wants a reward.” you nod fastly, expecting an orgasm. some sort of pleasure in return. 

megan looks down at you with disgust— no difference with dani. you furrow your eyebrows. megan goes through her purse, pulling out 200 dollars. she throws it up in the air, the paper slowly flutters down onto your lap. “that should be enough to buy a vibrator. maybe even enough to find someone who’s willing to fuck you, if you’re lucky. i doubt it, though.” daniela and megan both laugh at you. your face flushes red with embarrassment. you watch as the girls leave , talking amongst themselves. “shit. should’ve gotten their numbers.” you murmur to yourself. 

anyways on to the story. this is leo valdez x fem reader ummm chapter one i guess? reader doesn’t actually enter yet. intentional lowercase, probably accidentally ooc (it’s been SO long since i read the books i’m so sorry.

this is like a college ish au. all of them are alive and go to the same college even if all the characters aren’t present yet or don’t exist in the same timelines in the book. sorry LOL.

there are three things that everyone who knows leo valdez know about leo valdez.

he is hilarious. 

he is ridiculously charming with the ladies

he LOVES snacks. 

like, any type. all types. leo doesn’t discriminate. 

takis, sour patch kids, even just those stupid caramel drops grandmothers give out. 

so when percy jackson mentions offhandedly that there is a snack dealer on campus, leo valdez just about loses his fucking mind. 

his school has done a significantally thorough (well, compared to anything else they try to do thoroughly. cough, cough, debunking the cheating scandal) job of making sure no snacks are sold except through cafeteria transactions. meaning all they have left to eat is overcooked, overpriced slop that is indefinitely some form of toxic waste. 

it happens when percy walks up to their usual spot in the courtyard, talking to nobody in particular about something dumb his swim teammate said. but leo’s eyes just about bulge out of his head. because there, in percy’s arms, is a load of snacks. absolute jackpot. mythical-pot-of-gold-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow type of loot. 

 and nobody else seems to be paying it any attention. 

not will and nico who are curled up on the grass beside each other, talking in hushed whispers while will recites something from his anatomy book. not annabeth, who’s going over some stupid historical, architectural textbook. not piper who—

…piper who has a pocket sized packet of fruit snacks peeping out of her pants’ pocket??

try saying that five times fast.

he’s stunned into silence, of course. not very silent silence cus he’s obviously making sounds of disbelief, otherwise known as exaggerated gawking. nobody pays him any mind.

“what the hell, guys? you’re holding out on me?”

everyone sort of pauses at the sudden outburst. leo is standing now, motioning towards the armful of goodness percy is harnessing. then towards piper’s pants with a dramatic turn. 

they all blink like he’s speaking a different language.

“hello? where the hell did you get snacks? in this prison ward?”

will breathes out a laugh, pulled out of his hyperfixtated-super-gay trance. 

leo quirks an eyebrow at him, tapping his foot impatiently.

“and what’s so humorous about this, sunny boy?”

just about everybody groans at the stupid nickname.

“are you serious? i thought you’d be the first to know.”

leo blinks at percy’s clear amusement. now he feels left out. shrinks maybe an inch. 

“know what? you guys always keep these god tier secrets from me.”

he says, trying to sound less desperate. but alas, in the end he is desperate. more than anything. 

he’d probably even let will drone on about fractures in the human body with nico chiming in with all the ways you could die if that’s what they promised in exchange for being let in on this secret. but he doesn’t want to give them any ideas so he stays quiet.

“gods, just tell him already. this is getting annoying and the suspense is clearly killing him.”

annabeth says with an eye roll, barely looking up from her book.

piper grins. “yeah, look at ‘im. he’s vibrating.”

leo just scoffs and sets his jaw, cus this is starting to really irritate him and he knows they’re right but he does not want to be called a little feral chihuahua again. so again, he stays quiet.

finally, someone breaks. it’s nico of all people.

“s’the snack dealer.”

it’s so quiet it’s almost a mumble. and will beams at him like he’s the sun anyway.

but leo doesn’t pay them any mind. mainly because he’s trying to pick his jaw up off the ground.

a fucking snack dealer? are they serious?

close to a trillion questions run through his mind.

how long has he not known about this? how does everyone ELSE seem to know? is this even legal?

he only verbalizes one, though.

the most important one. 

“where can i find him?”

  - - - - - - - - 

percy is the poor unfortunate soul that ends up having to explain to leo; the textbook definition of hyperactive ADHD, how the whole instagram shop thing works. luckily for him, though, leo is 100% hyper focused on getting those snacks. unluckily for him, he’s not really paying attention to how to get the snacks because he’s dreaming of takis floating into his mouth.

percy waves a hand in front of leo’s face. 

“dude, you with me? you’re drooling.”

leo just blinks, clutching his chest dramatically. 

“gods, i can already taste them.”

percy scoffs.

“you won’t be tasting jackshit if you can’t pay attention long enough to figure out how to get them.”

that gets his attention.

percy opens his phone again.

opens instagram, shows him how to get to the profile. 

“this is where it gets complicated. i know you’re not used to having money, or you know, buying things, so here’s how it works.”

leo even opts to ignore the snide remark percy made about his um…temporary unemployment. not everyone is hot or buoyant enough to be a lifeguard.

percy shows him how to place an order. 

immediately, leo is opening his own phone, ordering as much as he can afford.

“wait a second. after you order, he’s gonna DM you. so like, maybe don’t leave your phone on the scorching pavement until it blows up today,”

leo gives him a fiery side eye, but lets him continue.

“you’ll set up a meeting time. and be there or you’ll lose your money. no refunds.”

leo nods. this all feels fair enough. he pops a half melted sour gummy into his mouth, courtesy of a handful he stole from percy’s bag earlier. just to hold him off until he can get an appointment. 

“but like, who is this guy? is this like a darth vader situation, where he’s like, a drug dealer and everyone already knows who he is but he’s too dangerous to approach? or is it like, a ghostface situation. like it could be anyone. or is it like—“

“jesus, dude. i dunno. i just took my shit and left. i don’t even remember the guy’s face. i doubt that was even the real dealer.”

percy says, taking a gummy from leo’s hand.

leo nods thoughtfully. 

“right, right. but like, this is genius. don’t you wanna know who the guy is?”

percy pretends to think about it before shrugging.

“not really. just want my snacks.”

he takes another.

percy holds a finger up to leo like you.

“and listen, man. don’t ask too many questions. read the room, okay? don’t be the reason he deactivates his account or something.” he says, jabbing a finger into leo’s chest.

 leo furrows his brows.

“how would i, single-handedly, cause this dude to deactivate his account? seriously?”

percy shrugs.

“if it were anyone, it’d be you.”

leo shoves him off the bench.