#universalmemoir

Music softly lulling in the background

Blue light streaming from the fish tank

Bodies lying on couches

and the giggling of a child

whoosh goes the wind 

and pitter patter goes the rain

https://universalmemoir.tumblr.com/post/186666275810/i-am-the-bearer-of-a-tender-heart-and-two-small

emotions spilling on to each page

a word from another

can inspire beauty and change.

a cathartic release for her it is

that she puts out for the world to see

and as my soul imbibes the poetry

i am filled with a strange rhapsody

oh, the intangible connection

between a poet and reader

when they hear the same symphony

across the seas that part them

when words are exchanged

she writes it, her soul into it,

i read it, my soul into it

her and i, we feel the same

and that strange parallel perception

is poetry in itself.

.

when i see you again, what will you say? words will flood out of my mouth. i will hold you and not let you go. i will internalize my pent-up anger and longing in a string of words that i have practiced over and over.

when i see you again, what will you feel? my emotions will begin to control me. i will cry and laugh all at once. i will want to run to you and far from you, and i  will feel more lonely than when i was apart from you.

when i see you again, what will you see? dreams i had of you will seem clearer. i will see blurred lights through my tears. i will watch you from across the room as you avoid the pain that seeing me and remembering me has brought.

when i see you again, what will you hear? voices in my head cannot keep quiet. i will mentally transcribe our conversation. i will listen for every tone, every breath, every word that has touched the emotion you cannot verbally express.

when i see you again, what will you do? my actions are unpredictable and painful. i will hold you and not let you go. i will tear myself away from you, lock myself in my car and weep, because what i hoped would happen did not.

ps: when i saw them again, all of these things happened.

h.rae | universalmemoir

It’s fine. It’s for the best.

“Are you sure?”

Yeah, it’s fine. It wasn’t safe to let those weeds grow.

“But they were so pretty, all wild and free.”

Yeah, they were. But they were suffocating the flowers behind them.

“Flowers? What flowers? All I see is a dying plant.”

It grew flowers once. Back when the weeds weren’t so tall. They were pretty together.

“So why get rid of the weeds then?”

They were fine when they were small. But once they got big, they became an issue.

“Thorny ones, huh?”

Yeah, it didn’t matter when the thorns were so low down. But once they were tall, they cut me whenever I went to pick the flowers.

“What makes you think that bush will bloom again?”

I think it will. One day. But I don’t know. I might have let the weeds cover it for too long. It wasn’t getting any sunlight.

“But the weeds will grow back. You’ll have to keep cutting them over and over.”

I know.

“It would be easier just to let the weeds grow back. Prettier too. It’s kinda ugly as it is right now.”

…

But then I wouldn’t be giving the flowers a chance to bloom.

“Your loss then.”

Yeah.