#unicarrots

RARE ENDANGERED UNICARROTS SIGHTED

Unicarrots, the rare, magical, and ancient crossbreed of plant and animal were spotted by passengers on the S shuttle at Prospect Place/Park Place station.

"I looked outside and they flew by, neighing. Their carrot horns were real pretty in the sunlight", says Juana Dance, an S shuttle rider.

Unicarrots are the only known crossbreed of plant and animal. Historic manuscripts recording the creation of the unicarrot were supposedly burned by the church along with the witnesses.

Today, scientists are still theorizing about the merge of plant and animal DNA. They are still unsure about any long term effects or magical properties from drinking the delicious carrot juice aside from an orange glow to the drinker's skin tone.

Hunted by local juice bars, they are valued for the extra delicious properties of the carrot juice produced by their magical horns. Juice bars have recently been caught recruiting virgin vegans to poach unicarrots, as they are the only ones who are able to track unicarrots with uncanny accuracy.

"Look, that's just the way it is," says Jane Doe, a virgin vegan unicarrot poacher who would like to remain unidentified. "I've only been in this job for half a year and it paid for my LARPing camp retreat in Wyoming.  I'm young enough to stay a virgin and be okay with it. The vegan diet sort of sucks, but it's all part of the job... And why it pays well."

When asked about the irony of being a vegan and a poacher, Jane shrugs.

"It's a good job in this terrible economy."

Juice bar owner Terry Hair defends his business's success.

"I used to sell chicken omelettes on the street. Turns out, people think that's gross and unhealthy. My own friends called picketed me with signs saying 'multi-generational genocide'. When I started my juice bar, people started buying my stuff because it's healthy. No one says anything about genocide. Most people think they're just photoshopped hoaxes anyway. And it's up to the customers to save those animals. I'm just doing my job."