#unfamiliar

Despite his determination, he just couldn't seem to keep his mind from wandering. He found himself distracted by a group of mages entering the study area, all decked out in gaudy velvet robes and sparkling gems and strings of useful talismans and reagents. The mages were far too loud for the library, but of course nothing would be done about that, because mages could effectively do whatever they liked. A couple of the mages were being followed by their familiars, easily identified by their dazed eyes and sycophantic smiles. Nathan shuddered to see them, looking away.

Many people -- many fools -- thought that becoming a familiar was some great prize. It was the only way for an ordinary human to gain any magical power, after all. Familiars went everywhere with their mages, and so had access to wealth and luxury far beyond what most humans would ever see, even if it was all at the discretion of their masters. It wasn't hard to see why someone born into poverty or working in the factories would wish for that kind of arrangement. If becoming a familiar was voluntary, Nathan might even agree with them.

Familiars weren't volunteers or applicants, though. A familiar was born when a human just so happened to stray too close to a compatible mage, falling under the mage's spell, compelled to offer themselves up for servitude. That first fateful moment bound a familiar to their mage forever, carving loyalty into the familiar's very soul. Any life the human thought they were leading was as good as gone, because from that moment on they'd be serving at a mage's whims. Familiars usually seemed happy, sure, but that was because the magic influenced their minds and eroded their free will.

For someone like Nathan, who had clawed his way out of his horrible family and into a rare scholarship, who actually had career prospects and a life ahead of him, the idea of becoming a familiar was a nightmare. It's one reason why he usually tried to avoid mages and their common haunting grounds. The chances that he'd actually be snatched up were low, but there was no reason to take unnecessary risks.

If only he'd been born a mage, then he could have his whole life delivered to him on a silver platter, instead of developing back problems from being hunched over books!

Nathan scowled and returned to his books. Just a few more chapters and he'd take a break. Just a few more…

It was no use. The fog in his head was only growing thicker, and the heavy raindrops on the windows were lulling him to sleep. His concentration was completely shot. The restless tightness in his chest had reached an unbearable fever pitch, demanding some relief. At the very least, he needed a brief walk and some fresh air.

Nathan stood up and rotated his stiff shoulders, leaving his books and notes on the desk. No one was likely to disturb them if he left for just a few minutes. A short walk outside would do him good.

He was only dimly aware that his feet weren't carrying him towards the library's exit.

Nathan felt as though he were trapped in a strange dream as he walked through the stacks, further and further into the library, his awareness growing hazy. He was searching for something -- what exactly, he didn't know, but he knew that finding it would be the only thing that could relieve that knot in his chest.

He reached the back corner of the library. There was nothing here but some shelves of dusty reference volumes and a pair of desks, secluded far away from the windows. One of the desks was occupied by a stern looking student, sharp eyes glaring at a parchment as his quill scratched out rows of neat handwriting. He was dressed very simply in shirt, slacks, and sweater vest, but despite his lack of robes and jewels, it was obvious that he was a mage, and a powerful one. The magic flowing from him was thick enough to be stifling, even to a human like Nathan who had no particular sensitivity to magic.

As though he were a puppet on strings, Nathan stepped forward, towards the student, who was far too engrossed in his work to notice. His knees wobbled and gave out, and he dropped to the floor, bowing his head.

What was he doing…? Why… why did he…?

The student finally looked up, that sharp glare trained on Nathan, his eyes as dark as a cloudless night. "Who are you?" he demanded. "And what do you think you're doing?"

Their eyes met properly. Something deep inside of Nathan unlocked, some knowledge he'd always known was there but couldn't access until now, the final puzzle piece of his life falling into place. The tension in his chest disappeared. This was right. This was where he belonged: by this stranger's side.

The student's brows furrowed, with confusion, not displeasure. He leaned in closer to Nathan. "Are you actually…?"

This student, this mage, was his. He needed to stay by this mage's side. He needed to serve.

Certainty ran through Nathan's veins like ice water -- but that shock also brought him a moment of clarity.

"Oh, fuck."

Nathan snapped out of his daze, scrambled to his feet as quickly as he could, and ran away.

He ran through the stacks, pushing students aside and knocking over a book cart. He left behind everything, his notes, his books, his coat. He burst through the doors, barely noticing the cold rain numbing his face as his shoes pounded on the sidewalk. In record time, he'd run to his dorm and slammed the door closed, as though a flimsy wooden door and cheap lock could protect him from a mage.

What had he done? What the hell had he done?

Nathan threw himself onto his bed, curling up into a ball in the corner and shivering. The memory of what had just happened still felt like a dream, but he knew he wasn't that lucky. He could still see those dark, questioning eyes, and he could still feel the terrible sense of relief and belonging. He knew exactly what he had done. He'd offered himself up to the service of a mage.

He'd been made into a familiar.

Footsteps came pounding down the hall, and Nathan yelped and pushed himself further into the corner, barely able to calm down even after the footsteps passed by his door. Any minute now, that mage could find him. It was only a matter of time. That mage would find him, and Nathan would be powerless to resist as he fastened a leash around Nathan's throat -- either figuratively or literally.

His hard work, his studies, his scholarships, his hopes and dreams, all of those were meaningless now. He wouldn't get a law degree or pass the bar or join a firm. In one terrifying instant, all of that had been flushed down the drain. He'd be a mage's familiar, helplessly following at that student's heels like a lost puppy, that sharp glare boring into him for the rest of his magically elongated life. He'd exist in the world of mages now, eating scraps of the mages' wealth and power, being a good little lapdog. The enthrallment that bound him as a familiar would erode his mind, and he would forget his true desires, existing only to serve.

He wished it had happened to anyone but him. He wished it had happened to one of those simpering fools who actually wanted that sort of life. He wished it didn't happen at all, and that the mages would all go to hell.

Nathan was so buried in despair that it took him a long time to realize that no mage had come to break down his door, and it took him even longer to regain his senses enough to wonder what that meant. In all the accounts he'd read of humans discovering they were familiars, the mage would sweep them away from their old lives then and there. Any paperwork or other arrangements could be completed after the familiar was safely in the mage's orbit. He'd definitely never heard of any case of a mage refusing a familiar. Compatible familiars were rare enough that sometimes even very powerful mages didn't have one. Possession of a familiar not only had a profound effect on a mage's abilities, driving their magical aptitude to new heights, but also helped the mage cope with the side effects of strong magic. Familiars were also used as pawns in the mages' continuous jockeying for social prestige. There was no reason for any mage to refuse.

But the longer that Nathan sat in his room alone, the more he began to doubt.

Maybe he wasn't actually a familiar. Maybe his sleep deprivation and his fear had combined to make him do something incredibly strange and stupid. Maybe it had all been a weird fluke, and the mage could tell, and he just chalked it up to a human acting bizarre and went back to his work.

Even as Nathan tried to spin this reassuring fiction, he knew it wasn't true. He knew what he had felt, that momentary sense of peace and belonging, the enthrallment lapping at his mind, trying to steal it away forever.

Maybe mages did sometimes refuse familiars, and no one ever talked about it, because it would be seen as odd. That student had a guarded air around him, not the sort that would easily welcome a new person into his life. It could be that he didn't want a familiar at all, or that he found Nathan unsuitable in some way, and he would let Nathan go and forget this embarrassing situation had ever happened.

That also seemed far too convenient to be true, and yet, no one had come to find Nathan. He had left his study materials behind, and that included his old tests and papers that had his name and his courses written at the top. It wouldn't be hard to identify him and track him down, and if the mage said it was to find his new familiar, the staff and faculty would even drop everything to help him. Nathan wasn't hard to find, cowering in his dorm.

But minutes stretched into an hour, and then two, and no one came.

Finally, Nathan dared to unroll himself, his limbs having grown stiff. He hardly dared hope that he was off the hook, that his life wasn't over.

And if his life wasn't over… well, then, he'd left all of his study materials back in the library.

The idea of returning to the library filled him with dread. After all, that mage could still be there, tucked away in the corner. If Nathan were supremely unfortunate, he might even find himself hopelessly captured in that mage's spell a second time. He didn't really have a choice, though, unless he wanted to lose an entire semester's worth of notes and throw his exam performance to the wolves.

Not only that, but he needed some answers. His restless mind demanded to know who that mage was -- to better avoid him, if nothing else -- and he had an idea of how to get a name, at the very least.

Making up his mind, Nathan pulled on a sweater -- a poor substitute for the coat he'd left behind, but better than nothing -- and made his way back to the library. The rain had mercifully ended, but the wind was still frigid, blowing right through his thin sweater. By the time he opened the library door, he was chilled to the bone.

He took a deep breath as he entered, steeling himself for what he might find, but his mind remained clear, and he didn't see any sign of the mage. The desk where Nathan had been sitting was occupied by someone else, and there was no trace of his belongings. "Excuse me," he said to the girl at the desk. "I left a lot of things at this desk by accident -- folders full of notes, some books, and a coat. Have you seen any of that?"

"No, this desk was empty when I sat down," she said. "Have you tried checking the front desk?"

"I haven't. Thanks, though."

Nathan trudged to the front desk, where a bored-looking boy was lounging and flipping through a comic book. "Excuse me, but I left my notes, books, and coat in the library earlier today. Has anyone turned anything like that in?"

"Oh, yeah!" he said with immediate recognition. "So you're the one who ran away and left all your stuff." He reached behind the counter, and Nathan breathed a sigh of relief to see all of his things. "You're real lucky that a mage turned them in for you."

Nathan's relief vanished. "A mage? Do you know who?"

"Dunno his name. He had dark hair and no robes. Weird for a mage, but he was a mage, all right. Why?"

"No reason," Nathan stammered, gathering up his things. "Thanks for your help."

Nathan threw on his coat and left the library in a hurry, jogging to the Institute's main building and pushing open the door. There was a bench just inside, so he sat down for a moment to collect his breath and his thoughts.

A mage with no robes who had turned in Nathan's things. That had to be the mage that he'd met and embarrassed himself in front of. But then… why? If he were planning to take Nathan away as his familiar, then Nathan wouldn't need any of his books or notes any more. Instead, he'd just turned them in to the front desk where Nathan could easily find them, and he hadn't even been waiting to ambush Nathan.

Perhaps it was a vain hope, but returning Nathan's notes seemed to send a clear message: carry on with your life.

Could it be possible? Could he actually just let Nathan go and pretend that none of this had happened?

Now even more determined, Nathan set out for his second errand. Even if that mage had miraculously let him go free, Nathan simply had to know who he was. The mage's image was very clearly burned into Nathan's mind, and there were only a few hundred student mages at the Institute. The publicly available student records had pictures. It would only take a bit of work to get a name.

He hoisted himself off the bench and made his way to Student Services, a needlessly ostentatious office done in dark woods with wrought iron accents. It always reminded him of a particularly fancy dungeon -- which seemed fitting to the Institute, in a way. He nodded to the student at the desk and walked to the student records in the corner, unable to shake the feeling that he was doing something wrong, even though he was only planning to look up public information.

The student directory was in the form of an enormous, leather bound tome on a pedestal, enchanted to update automatically when there were changes. The mage students were all conveniently in one section. As Nathan flipped through, he noticed that some of the mage students were listed with their familiars underneath them, as though the familiars were just an accessory and not students in their own right.

He stopped when he spotted that face looking out from the pages, looking every bit as stern and humorless as he had when facing down Nathan. Dark eyes seemed to bore into him, making his knees feel like buckling, even though it was only a picture. This was certainly the mage -- his mage. His name was Alistair Blackwood.

Nathan stared at the picture, ensnared, as though looking at the mage would unlock some great secret. He realized after a moment that he was subconsciously chasing that feeling he'd experienced in the library, that feeling of everything falling into place. That was dangerous, for sure. If he knew what was good for him, he'd never want to feel that again.

He was so caught up in Alistair's picture that he initially failed to notice that there was a second picture on the page, a picture for Alistair's familiar. His own picture.

Nathan's heart stopped. There he was, plain as day, with an awkward forced smile and his hair a mess.

He slammed the book shut and retreated.

The student at the desk stood up. "Please treat the student directory with care! That's an important resource, you know."

"Sorry," he said absentmindedly, the state of the student directory the least of his concerns. He'd just been faced with external proof that the experience he'd had in the library was genuine. External proof that everything he had worked for was over, and that he would be consumed unthinkingly by some mage, a complete stranger who was about to become his entire world.

He felt sick. How had the student directory updated so quickly? Was it somehow attuned to sense the awakening of familiars? He leaned over one of the benches, trying not to pass out.

"Hey, are you okay?" asked the student at the desk, clearly bewildered as to why Nathan was having an existential crisis from the student directory.

"I have a question," he asked shakily. "Do you know what triggers the student directory to be updated? Say, in the case that a mage takes a familiar?"

"Oh, that's just paperwork," she said. "The mage has to fill out some forms and the directory updates automatically. The official ceremonies and things come later. Those are basically just formalities anyway. It's not like it isn't obvious when a mage and a familiar belong together." She said that with a romantic gleam in her eye, as if she were talking about a happily married couple and not magic-enforced servitude. "Why, did one of your friends become a familiar?"

"…Something like that," he said weakly.

With the eyes of the desk worker on him, Nathan went back to the directory on shaky legs. This was no time for a panic breakdown. Whatever meager information about Alistair was available in the student directory could be useful to… whatever his plan was going to be. He flipped back to the page with his own picture on it, blocking his picture with his hand so he didn't have to look at it.

Alistair Blackwood. Major: Magecraft. Specializations: Medicine and potion-making. Extracurricular activities: None. Hobbies: None. The scion of the prestigious Blackwood family, known for centuries as experts in wand-crafting, potion-making, and charms. Alistair aspires to run his own medical research firm.

Blackwood -- that name was familiar, come to think of it. It was one of the extremely rich, old money mage families, the ones that not-so-secretly had enormous power and influence over the government.

Nathan wanted to punch Alistair in his stupid face. He'd spent so much of his life working hard to study the law and eventually pass the bar, with aspirations to work for justice for everyone, not just the mages that held the world in their vice grip. He had hoped to use his skills to take some haughty mages down a notch and teach them that they weren't truly above the law.

Now, instead, he had been fated to serve one of the very wealthy and over-privileged mage families that he despised, becoming the starry-eyed servant to their son and heir. Some child of nepotism, who had never had to work for anything significant in his life, who would have his dreams handed to him on a silver platter along with Daddy and Mommy's ill-gotten money. Nathan would just be one more possession to some spoiled brat who already had everything.

And when he thought of how stupidly eager he'd been to serve, how easily he'd fallen under the mage's spell…

He shut the book again and slumped over on one of the chairs, trying not to cry. The desk worker was pointedly ignoring him.

Could he escape somehow? He really didn't have anywhere else to go. He'd rather die than go back to his family. He was living at the Institute at the complete mercy of his scholarship, and didn't have enough money saved to sustain him long. If he did run, he'd need a job, and unless he found something completely underground, that would leave a paper trail that would allow the Blackwoods to easily find him.

Nathan had spent his whole life as a shy, nerdy, uptight goody-two-shoes. He didn't exactly have any knowledge of how to join the underground world where people could hide from powerful mages. He didn't even know if that was real or just something made up for movies.

No, he had to think about this rationally. Wasn't it awfully strange that Alistair had gone through the trouble of filing paperwork designating Nathan as his familiar -- right after their encounter -- but hadn't expended any effort in tracking down Nathan? Nathan certainly hadn't been difficult to find. Why would he move so swiftly in declaring Nathan as his permanent servant and then just not bother to actually tell him?

What the fuck was Alistair Blackwood's game?

He went over the events of the afternoon for the hundredth time in his head, as if that would offer some insight into Alistair's thought process, coming up empty.

And where did that leave him? What should his next move be? Should he just return to studying for his exams as if nothing had happened? What would be the point, if Alistair were coming to kidnap him away from his life at any moment? But if Alistair wasn't planning to take him away any time soon… then he'd still need to sit for his exams, wouldn't he?

The uncertainty was absolute torture.

With no better ideas, Nathan left Student Services and headed back to his dorm room, feeling utterly defeated, a dead man walking. God damned mages, god damned familiars, and god damned Alistair Blackwood, specifically.

He closed and locked the door of his tiny dorm room, dumping his notes and books and coat on the floor and collapsing on the bed. Regardless of whether it made sense, he wasn't going to be getting any studying done right now. He stripped off his shoes, shirt, and pants, and curled up on the thin mattress, completely exhausted.

As soon as he shut his eyes and drifted off into dreams, Alistair Blackwood was there to greet him, a smug smile on his infuriating face as Nathan helplessly groveled before him.

Next

In the second part, Nathan gets to properly meet Alistair.