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I love academia I love forensics I love learning I love studying I love the justice system I love improving the courts for victims I love studying sexual violence in societal structures I love researching semen in pursuit of all this I do NOT love googling “scholarly way to say crusty”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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girl who’s going to be ok because she just submitted her bachelor’s thesis
Being a liberal arts undergrad is not for the weak.
This week’s to do list:
1. Read 90 pages of Lucretius’ (yes the namesake of Lucky Flickerman) On the Nature of Things by Thursday
2. Translate fragment 2 of Sappho by Monday (oopsie I only just did it)
3. Make poems out of directly translated Chinese poetry by Wednesday
4. Watch dark eyed juncos
5. Look after bean plants
6. Do a 5 page proposition from Euclid’s elements by Wednesday
7. Read a two separate chunks of Aristotle for Tuesday and Thursday
8. Read the second half of Plato’s Cratylus by Wednesday
9. Write a 3-4 page essay on my experience doing Euclid by Friday
10. Probably something I’m forgetting.
Such is the life of a liberal arts undergrad. Wouldn’t change it for anything 🥹👍
the lock in that is coming will be lethal for the government
Finished one project after days of procrastination. Therefore I must treat myself with more fanfiction before I have to lock in on the 40 page paper sitting half finished on my desktop.
's all about balance, you know?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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oh if only i could go back in time and not flunk my first semester of college at 16
but also wtf were my parents thinking enrolling me in 4 summer college courses at 16 i was not ready for that 1-2 would have been fine
Feeling a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. Just a mild hatred of the self. The pit in my stomach that says I have no intrinsic worth and that I'll never grow.
This has come up again because of homework. I allowed perfectionism to dig myself into a hole. I've caught up on assignments, but my comprehension on the subject matter is absolutely fucking dire. I barely even know what the questions mean, let alone the steps to take to answer them.
I submitted someone on time for the first time in weeks tonight, and instead of feeling accomplished, I feel ashamed and disgusted at myself. That's not good, and it only serves to further isolate me from the drive to study.
I recognize that this is a matter of ego and identity, but knowing that doesn't make the hurt any less sharp. My curiosity is, as of right now, dead. And the more I struggle, the more I resent myself and my situation. It feels like I'm back in high school, for fucks sake. I had gotten so far with therapy and medication and mindfulness, I really didn't think I would ever feel this bad again. But, that is what getting triggered does, it takes you right back to the time and place the trigger was formed.
I get so jealous of studyblr blogs and their beautiful aesthetic and I get so jealous. 80% of the time my studying is me folded up in bed or my desk chair staring into the depths of a pdf on my macbook. the other percent is sitting in lectures/seminars
