My oil painting of an Uncrustable
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My oil painting of an Uncrustable

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painting of this post. context under the cut
smuckers v trader joeās uncrustable lawsuit my roman empire. normally i couldnāt care less what two greedy food empires attack each other over BUT as the evil sandwich monopoly claims intellectual theft or whatever (note: smuckers did not create the uncrustable, this invention was sold to them by the og creators) what truly gets me is that the lawsuit declares that trader joeās turn over their complete crustless sandwich inventory to be destroyed (and their profits but idgaf about that).
the corporate need to not only halt the sales of the sandwiches, but actually destroy goods, and fucking food for that matter, over something as trivial as ācopyright dilutionā makes my stomach turn. obviously not the first nor the last example of this kind of thing and not even the most egregious, (i mean, thereās only so much nutrition that goes into a freezer pbj) but itās just inconceivable to me. (plus my personal stake in it which is that the trader joeās sandwiches are objectively tastier and i like them better.)
anyway, all this to say, i hope trader joeās rips smuckers dick off. but not for profit. need i also disclose that trader joeās is in turn also greedy union-busters engaging in coercion and retaliatory firings.
Zenixās signature food
The Uncrustable
eating an uncrustable has me feeling like this mouse

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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RIP Gazerbeam you wouldāve loved the peanut butter and chocolate uncrustables
Just ate a frozen "uncrustables" pb&j sandwich without waiting for it to thaw and I'm once again disappointed that real life doesn't have pop-up videogame style achievements.