#uncle buggy

cuz if it happened before that would mean that both are just surprising their husband with an additional child and if it happened after the child acquisition then that means the early meeting of more than a few hilarious characters

also uncle buggy

My idea was before the numerous children acquisitions. Maybe not before uta though if you want to add her into the story.

I guess it’s Schrödinger bird marriage then again both have threaten divorce so many times neither of them technically know if their still married. Shanks will and has threaten divorce over burnt toast. But Mihawks threatened to throw him off of his coffin boat in the middle of the calm belt and make himself a widow if he didn’t shut the fuck up. So it’s ever changing. and frankly anyone who knows them want nothing to do with their hyper obsessive homoerotic-maiming fetish they got going on. (It’s Benn and Buggy and whoever happens to be dragged in near by. But mostly Benn and Buggy.)

The people in Shanks life always warned him that one day he’d be hit with the parenting bat at full-force for the absolute fucking insanity he caused as a child. And he thought it was ended with Uta but nope the kids just keep piling on. Not to mention internally he has so many issues, so many and he’s terrified to screw up any child in like a four foot diameter of his general aura. The universe truly has the worse sense of humor.

SOOOOO I can’t say I know what to call this but basically my amazing source of inspiration rozyduskion and I were pitching this concept back forth and I wanted to post it cause it’s the cutest thing ever. FYI like 99% of this are Rozy’s ideas but I kinda put a spin on it. If ya’ll aren’t following Rozy I highly suggest it, they’re content is blessed.

Uncle Buggy

-It all started with the god damn Red Hair showing up unannounced

-Not only did he have the audacity to show up on the Big Top, but with a four year old girl in tow

-Can you imagine Buggy’s shock, disgust, and utter horror, when Shanks says, This is my daughter (Name). She’s been so excited to meet you.

-Can you imagine his even greater horror when the bumbling little thing latches on to his leg laughing about how her UNCLE BUGGY is funny looking

-Buggy will swear up and down all while trying to get the little girl off of his leg till he practically dies of embarrassment

-If things couldn’t get any worse, Shanks has the gall to ask Buggy to babysit the little heathen while he’s away on dangerous business

-Buggy sputters and shouts telling Shanks he and his little crotch spawn can go to hell etc etc, when that witch of a woman Alivida agrees for Buggy

-Thus Buggy is now stuck with this little girl who calls him her uncle and he hates it

-Then days go by, and then weeks, and Buggy starts wondering if Shanks has dumped (Name) on him.

-At first this thought makes him really angry, but then, suddenly it doesn’t.... Buggy becomes okay to the idea of little (Name) staying with him...

-But he ignores the feeling, until a month after leaving his daughter with Buggy, Shanks returns

-Buggy feels this... pull on his heart when he waves good bye to the little girl and can’t help but tear up seeing Shank’s ship disappear from view

-It’s not the last time he sees (Name) though. Any time Shanks feels it’s best, Buggy’s new niece would end up staying on the Big Top

-Buggy comes to love being Uncle Buggy, and as the years go by his niece doesn’t need to babysat anymore, but still stays with him on occasion

-Until shes turns 18...

-That’s when Buggy’s perfect, precious, niece does the unthinkable

-She joins the Straw Hat Pirates

-Buggy is distraught. Absolutely unequivocally hurt by her choices

-He thought he taught her better!!

-Like a fucking theif in the night Buggy descends upon the Thousand Sunny searching for his niece because for the love of god she is getting on the Big Top right this instant

-But then he see how happy she is... truly happy... happier than he’d seen in months.. (Name) needed this and he knew it

-Failing to hold back his tears, Buggy kisses his niece on the forehead and kinda pathetically lectures Luffy about taking care of his precious niece

-He also gives her a single rule: NO DATING

-Especially not any of these morons

-He lets her stay with the Straw Hats and is practically inconsolable on the Big Top. Not even Mr. 3’s dumb face makes him feel better

-Some time goes by so Shanks and Buggy arrange to visit (Name) and the Straw Hats, but if you ask Buggy it’s most just (Name).

-They arrive and Buggy is of course crying because look how much his niece has grown up and he’s so happy to see that she’s safe

-All seems normal except for that swordsman that’s always with Luffy. That guy is being even more stand off-ish than usual

-Buggy doesn’t say anything, but can’t get this nagging feeling to go away. Not throughout dinner or drinks or the party the crew had thrown for them, and then suddenly it hits him!

-He snatches up a large steak knife from the table, slices his arm off and YEETS it across the room and grabs Zoro by the back of his shirt collar

-The room is now mostly silent as Buggy pulls Zoro to him. Then with the venom of a thousand cobras, the clown hisses, You.

-Shanks can’t help but laugh as Zoro looks like he might vomit

-Buggy is so angry but he has to know. Are you dating-

-Before he can even finish his sentence Zoro frantically blurts out, YES-AND-I-GOT-HER-PREGNANT-TOO

-The room is now dead silent. Franky is now so glad he’s been filming the entire thing and Shanks has dropped his whisky bottle on the floor

-Some may say Buggs fainted, but he prefers dissociated for a few moments, regardless when he comes to he’s FURIOUS

-Shanks however is processing the information. Imagine Windows 97 error sounds

-Then Luffy gets super excited and starts singing about Shanks being a grandpa

-The entire crew knew about it, but (Name) wanted to tell her father and uncle before anyone else

-But Zoro that panicky little fucker beat her too it

-Buggy is so angry that he can’t even speak. He’s just angrily flailing his limbs around and opening and closing his mouth like a fish

-In the background one can see Usopp losing it cause: Oh god their gonna kill Zoro! I told you they would! Franky do something!

-Shanks the poor man is still processing and needs an Advil

-(Name) decides enough is enough and marchs over to Buggy and Shanks

-She grabs each of their hands and places it on her belly while smiling at them wider than she ever has

-Shanks kinda unfreezes, scrambles to his knees and pulls his daughter close

-The man presses his forehead to her baby bump and just start bawling. He’s so god damn happy

-Buggy has been staring at his hand placed on her stomach for awhile before he realizes he hasn’t moved and she’s staring at him

-Shes smiling but Buggy knows (Name) well enough to know that she needs to know he’s happy for her too or she can’t be happy

-He pulls her in for a gentle hug as he smiles. The man is crying as he rests his head on his precious niece’s head, but he’d deny it to hell and back

-Zoro clutches his chest with relief when Buggy let’s him go, sheds a few tears, thanking God that is life has been spared

-The entire crew is crying except Luffy, who’s still fucking singing, and Sanji

-The cook waltz over to Zoro, hooks his arm around Zoro’s shoulders, and says, I knew you’d live

-Then through his tears Shanks looks at Zoro and sobs out, I’m going to kill you with my bare hands

“Whadda ya think I am, some kind of pony?! GEt offa me!”

And then he was promised apples.