A Visit from the Saint
A Starlight Parody Poem
’Twas the eve before Starlight and all through the ward Every ‘venturer slept, not a one swingin' swords Every yard was well tidied and pleasing to eye In the hopes that Saint Nymeia soon might swing by The retainers all nestled a’ snug in their beds While short sales on pixie plums danced through their heads My chocobo stabled, and I unbamboozled Felt readily abled to catch a quick snoozle When out in the ward there arose such a noise I feared Brass Blades were shaking down good gals and boys When what should my wondering eyes lay upon But a pair of legs planted facedown in my lawn 'Twas local inspector all flailing and stuck For the son of a gambling house, sure had poor luck! Then right there behind me,before I could blink There stood old Godbert Manderville pouring a drink I had put out the milk and Manderflakes, you see In the hopes that Saint Nymeia might trim my tree They say it can happen, a Starlight surprise And that’s just what was happening before my eyes I averted them- unlike the old story goes Godbert stood there without his all his fine fur-trimmed clothes And you shouldn’t stare slack-jawed at oiled chest and smalls When a monet’rist fancies to come deck your halls Old Saint Nym he worked quickly while I sputtered “How?!” Hanging Gold Saucer scratchoffs on each piney bough And he smiled ‘hind his spectacles, bare-chested, beaming For leaving sweet hopes of his MGP gleaming Isaid “Why do you do all this seasonal charity? The Traders ought value more all-year-round parity.” He mopped his brow startled by boldfacin’ questions Said “I need to hit tax breaks - got better suggestions?” I said “Raise every wage of folk in your employment So they’ll have Gil to spare more on spreading enjoyment Folk struggle out there to make ends meet for giving When trying to scrap out a hard honest living
Don’t chase end turn rep’rations in ditch effort mission To repair despair of unfair working conditions!” He said “Son, that’s enough of your Socialist ranting, I’ve got to get on with my Ul’dahn enchanting." I had never seen rich men tear off with a wink But I swear there were dusttrails before I could blink And I heard him exclaim as he dashed out of sight- “Spinners’ luck to you all, and a Happy Starlight!”
