#uk heatwave

"We know it looks like a butt plug, just drink the water, it's hot outside"

How to survive a heatwave in the UK:

Please, please, please, for the love of all that is good, DO NOT run towards the sun when it comes out during a heatwave. I know we don't see it a lot, but you will from now on, I promise you. Sun yourself in the early mornings and late evenings if you must, BUT STAY AWAY from the sun at its hottest (11am--4pm), it is NOT YOUR FRIEND.

Houses in the UK are built like ovens, i.e. they are designed to keep heat IN. So, how do you make sure you don't get baked alive? Cool your house down the night BEFORE. Open all windows and doors once the outside temperature is lower than the inside temperature. Keep them open for as long as you can. Shut them up before bedtime (if you need to), and then reopen them again early next morning. Wear a coat if it gets too cold but suck it up.

Then, right before you hit temperature parity, seal everything shut. This keeps the cool air IN, and plays to the advantage of your insulation.

Make sure you close all blinds and curtains of windows facing the sun (rmb that the sun moves during the day). Unless you have heat-reflective films on the windows, the sun shining directly through the windows will heat up the room very, very quickly, and then the room will retain said heat, coz it's designed to retain heat.

If you feel hot in a room, turn on a fan. DO NOT open the windows in the middle of the day "to let a breeze in". That's a 33-39C breeze. Keep that shit out.

DRINK LOTS and LOTS of water. Chug it like there's no tomorrow. (edit: hyperbole here. do not chug it like beer. as suggested by @queenofthearchipelago below, reasonable amounts throughout the day). NOT tea, NOT coffee, NOT squash. WATER.

Shade is your friend. Don't put on sunglasses and think you're safe from the sun. Wear a wide-brimmed hat. Pick routes that are shaded. Learn from your Asian friends and bring an umbrella. Yes, an umbrella. Preferably a sun-reflective one.

russell: wtf r u doing