#ugly problems

Them: *doesn’t reply*

my flatmate is so pretty and when I say to her “being ugly is so shit” she says “but I don't think ur ugly” n I love her sm and it means a lot to me that she's so kind but she really has never been unattractive before. she doesn't understand what its like to be an objectively unattractive person (im not blaming her for that, she's not unattractive so ofc she doesn'tknow what it feels like. just like idk what its like to be pretty like she is). its SHIT. I feel like id have so much more confidence n such a better life if I was pretty instead of ugly. bc ngl theres a lot of stuff that my flatmate does/can do that I just can't bc im not beautiful n she is. I just wish I could be beautiful but ive tried everything n im always ugly so ive given up even trying. its heartbreaking. if ur an attractive person - feel blessed. it rlly destroys ur confidence when no on has a crush on u, no one thinks ur pretty, u never look good in photos or in the mirror, n everyone u meet knows that ur unattractive. being ugly has ruined a lot in my life n theres a lot of things that id love to be able to do that I can't do bc im just too ugly. I think thats what my flatmate n other ppl don't get abt being ugly - its not just the “I feel sad bc im not pretty” side to things, its also the “i get treated worse and there are things that I cant do/experience bc im unattractive”. I HATE MY ANCESTORS for giving me these repulsive genetics bc I HATE BEING UGLY. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE BEAUTIFUL but theres just no beauty in me. u can't create whats not there. I will never be loved or desired by anyone. I will never be able to make someone happy. I will never get to date or fall in love or marry bc im ugly, and ofc its my fault/my genetics’ fault n not anyone else’s. like don't get me wrong im not blaming other ppl for not finding me attractive - it makes sense, I find me ugly too. the saddest thing is when ppl ask me if I want kids n its like, I don't even have the option bc if I did want kids, I wouldn't be able to have them bc NO ONE would ever want to have kids with me. also if I had a daughter who looked like me I couldn't love her. I couldn't love someone who had my ugly face. I would raise her to know that she's ugly bc id tell her everyday that she's ugly n no one will love her - personally I think its better that way bc then shed grow up knowing the truth but most ppl would disagree lol. doesn't matter bc im not having kids anyway. but it would be nice to have ONE PERSON see me n think im cute but ik its impossible when my face looks this disgusting. so if ur pretty PLS ENJOY IT and recognise that its making ur life so much better bc being ugly rlly destroys a lot of things in life that id like to do (and its meant there are some aspects to my life that ive had to not even wonder whether I like/would like or not bc I knew from the beginning that it wouldn't be an option anyway. things like sex n having kids. I don't even have a sexuality these days bc whats the point when ur ugly lol?) such as dating, love, sex, marriage, having kids, fashion (no point having drip when ur clapped bc if I wore nice clothes, id just make the clothes look ugly with my repulsive face), taking cute photos, looking in the mirror and seeing a face u like looking back at u. I wish ppl were honest with me n told me that im ugly instead of sugar-coating it bc I know the truth. the evidence is there. trust me being pretty isn't just good bc u get to feel pretty, it will change ur life. like my beautiful flatmate will never know what its like to go through life being unloved n unlovable bc she has a bf who loves her bc ofc she does, she's beautiful? but me? ii am the ugly sidekick. its sad bc she always wants to take photos but its just embarrassing to be in photos with her. its even embarrassing to be seen with her bc guys love her n she looks so beautiful AND on top of that she's also thinner n taller than me. its embarrassing n even tho I love her sm and I feel so blessed to have met her, I can't bear the idea of being in any photos with her bc she looks gorgeous and I look even uglier compared to her. I don't wanna look back n remember how ugly I was, so I just can't be in photos. its sad. I wish I could have another chance at life as an attractive person, id love to know what its like. :( I am ugly. I want to hurt myself. I want to punch and hit my hideous face until its bruised bc then at least ppl know that im self-aware, that I KNOW that my face is disgusting and deserves to be beaten. I deserve abuse and not love bc of my face. its hideous. its shameful to have to walk around with a face this ugly stuck to u n theres nothing u can do to hide it. im humiliated. I will never be loved and I don't deserve anyones love, I wi sh I was beautiful more and more everyday.