#udaybir

Now, you found yourself here. Laying beside him. The familiar ache in between your legs told a completely different story than the train of thoughts inside your head. You often thought about how domestic and relationship-type everything felt. He would just come over randomly to just talk to you. He would randomly bring you your favorite food, randomly bring the exact coffee order you like.

And when he visited places outside of India, he'd bring you little trinkets. Or small gifts.

You looked across your room towards the dress he peeled off your body the moment he stepped in. That dress was a gift by him, from when he visited New York. It was a gorgeous black dress with a low neck and half sleeves. Buttons ran down the front to the bottom. It was so simple, and so classic. And you always wondered how he knew what you liked to wear.

_________

You anxiously waited for the doorbell to ring. You weren't exactly sure why you were so excited. It wasn't even that you were horny. Just..missed him. Obviously in a 'i just need him for dick' way, you'd convinced yourself. You weren't allowed to miss him any other way.

A ring finally interrupted your thoughts as you shot out of your seat to open the door. The door opened to reveal a very disheveled Udaybir holding a luggage and his laptop bag in his hand.

He walked inside, dragging his luggage behind him.

"Ghar nahi gaye tum?" you asked, scrunching your eyebrows. You remembered your conversation earlier, that he'd go back home, change and then come here.

"Nahi. Waapas ghar jaake kya hi karta?" he took off his watch and placed it on your study. Too domestic.

"Waise bhi, I missed you too much. Aur wait karneka mann nahi kiya." he closed the distance as he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your neck. You didn't know whether it was in a 'i miss my friend' way or a 'i miss getting some fire pussy' way. You could smell the airport air and the scent of his fading cologne on him.

"I missed you too." you smiled. He looked up from your neck, and for a second it looked like he looked down at your lips. You were probably just hallucinating though. Missing your friend so much who you were practically in love with did that to you.

After that moment a few weeks back, you had tried your best to keep your mind off of how your heart had basically told you that you broke the biggest rule in a friend with benefits relationship: do not fall in love.

"Tumhare liye kuch laaya hu." he walked back to his suitcase and lifted it up to place it on a chair.

"Kyu yaar? Maine bola mujhe kisi cheez ki zaroorat hai?"

"Bola nahi, lekin mujhe laga. Sundar lagega tumhare upar. Tum keh rahi thi na, woh tumhara favorite dress phatt gaya?" he rummaged through the luggage, and then pulled out a folded up dress. "Dekho kaisa lagega. Same cheez nahi hai, lekin laga ki sundar lagogi."

You stared at the dress in his hand. He got you a dress? Too domestic.

You grabbed the dress from his hand and opened in up to reveal the most simple and chic dress you'd spotted in a while. A smile rose up to your face as you looked at it.

You lowered the dress to see Udaybir staring at you.

"Kitna sundar hai yaar. Kitne ka mila?"

"2 rupay ka." you hit his bicep and asked again.

"Kyu batau mai? Koi kisiko gift deke usko price thodi batata hai? Acha jao, try karo."

You ran off to try on the dress. It hugged you in all the right places and sit perfectly on your chest.

You went to the living room again to show the dress. He looked up from his phone and sat back up straight, almost as if he was in awe.

"Kaisa hai?"

"Bohot sundar." he wasn't even looking at the dress. Just at your face. You gave a little twirl only to see him watch you with an unreadable expression, and an open mouth.

He quickly snapped out of it and stood up, walking up to you. He grabbed your waist and pulled you to him.

"Now, we take this off." you squealed as he picked you up and started walking into your bedroom.

__________

You'd wear that dress so often, that one of the buttons had been sewed on again twice already by now.

Your eyes then drifted to the little Pikachu mug that you kept on the wall shelf. That was also a gift, but it was something he found when he went to his village.

_________

"Ye dekh, kya laya hu tere liye." he set down a heavy box on your table.

"Ye kya hai?"

"Kholna."

You grabbed the scissors and cut through the box to reveal a cute yellow mug.

You took it out from the box and looked at it properly, turning it around to see a Pikachu face. He knew how much you loved pokemon. Yes, it might've been a little embarrassing as a grown ass woman but who cares? To be cringe is to be free.

A laugh bubbled up in your throat as you looked at him.

"Kitna cute hai yaar."

"Woh toh hu mai." he said proudly. You raised your eyebrows at him.

"Waise aisa mug waha kaise mila?"

"Tere liye toh kuch bhi dhoondh lu mai." you laughed at his statement. You never took it seriously when he flirted with you out of bed.

"Kitne ka tha?"

"2 rupay ka." you rolled your eyes.

_________

You couldn't continue like this. The past 5 months had been nothing short of hell for you. You'd constantly find yourself thinking of a future with Udaybir, knowing nothing would work out.

It was hard enough when you realised how often he would talk about taking you along to one of his foreign trips. Or even to his village.

"Ek din tujhe bhi le jaunga waha." he said casually one day as you walked by him. "Bohot sundar jageh hai. Aasmaan bhi itna saaf hai. Jo waterfalls ki photo dikhayi thi na tujhe? Woh toh photo mai kuch bhi nahi tha. Tu saamne se dekhegi na, pyaar ho jaayega." he sighed in adoration.

You'd looked up in confusion. Did he think of you in his future? Or was he just talking in a hypothetical sense?

You'd nodded along to his words as if they didn't ignite a new sort of scenario in you: a married life where you travelled together.

You didn't exactly want to think too much. You just wanted to leave this arrangement and try to date. And move on. Maybe settle.

This had gotten especially harder with how weirdly distant he'd been towards you for the past 2 weeks.

He'd just come over, not talk too much, warm your bed and leave in the morning. You didn't know what came over him, but you started imagining the worse.

Maybe it was a girl. Maybe he finally found someone who he loves. The more you tried not to think about it, the worse it got. And the more your appetite died.

You knew this day would come anyway. He was a beautiful man—stood at a tall 6ft with a gorgeous face. He was basically Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome.

The next morning, you opened your eyes to your bed empty. You sighed as you got up and walked over to your kitchen to see him engrossed in his phone.

"Morning." he hummed. That was weird.

"Sun. Aaj, woh, Rahul aur woh..Anisha..woh sab Milne bula rahe hai. Chalegi na?" he asked.

"Haan, theek hai. Chalte hai."

You both left the kitchen and he left to go grab his clothes to leave for home. Right then, his phone rang loudly and someone saved as 'Aaliyah ♥️' popped up on the screen.

You stared in confusion as you reread the name repeatedly. Was he in a relationship? Mard log heart kabse lagate hai contact pe? Woh bhi kisi ladki ke contact pe?

"Kaun hai?" he yelled from inside the room

"Uh, koi Aaliyah naam ki." you picked his phone up to hand it to him, while he rushed out of the room and just snatched it from your hands. He walked to a corner and spoke in a hushed voice and rushed to say his goodbyes.

"Mai chalta hu. Milte hai 5 ghante Mai." he kissed your cheek and walked out the door.

"Itna pyaar karti hai toh bata hi de." you best friend spoke.

"Itna easy hota toh abhi tak hamari shaadi ho chuki hoti."

"Abe tu bhi na. Dekh, jaldi kuch karle. Warna na teri shaadi hogi, na tu usse move on kar paayegi. Why don't you pull away or something?"

"I'm trying. I don't know what it is but I feel like there's some force that attracts me to him constantly. Use toh please-wease kuch nahi bolna padhta. Bas text karta hai "aajaun?" aur mai pighal jaati hu." you grumbled as you slid the other earring through your ear.

"Woh toh teri galti hai na. Look, he's a hot guy. He won't have a problem in finding a girlfriend. And you know how men are. You start loving them and all of a sudden they decide everything is casual. Mai achi advice de rahi hu. Batade use, ya fir move on." her words echoed in your head as you stared down at your place full of pasta.

The moment he left, you'd video called her to tell her of your dilemma. Her words weren't harsh per se, but they weren't something you wanted to hear. And she wasn't really wrong either. He wouldn't find it hard to find someone. He's a man after all. For 4 hours you talked to her about how insane men, specifically a certain man, made you.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Rahul suddenly speaking up loudly.

"Waise bhi, ab toh jaldi shaadi bhi hone waali hai na hamare shehzaade ki." he moved his eyebrows up and down looking at Udaybir, was sitting beside you, who suddenly looked very panicked.

You looked at him in confusion. He refused to meet your eyes.

"Socha hai kya bolna hai use? Woh tera dimaag toh nahi padh legi na? Psychic-waikic toh nahi pasand aa gayi?" Rahul laughed.

Anisha looked at you in a teasing manner and laughed too, looking back at Udaybir.

"Waise bhi, you guys have been friends for quite long now. If we can even call it that."

"Chup raho yaar dono." Udaybir blushed. He never blushed around you. Who was this mystery girl being talked about? Was it the same one from this morning?

Sahana looked at you and teased. "Kyu shehzaadi, kitne bacche chahiye hain?" they all laughed as you forced a smile. You weren't sure why they asked you that.

Udaybir looked at you, his expression reflecting a 'sorry' as you raised your eyebrows him.

"Bacche toh baadmai, pehle ye bata toh de use jo batana hai." Rahul added.

This only confirmed your suspicions. So there was some girl. Suddenly everything that you forced down your throat threatened to come back up the wrong way. You didn't want to feel like this. You hadnt expected this at all when you agreed to sleep with him. You didn't plan for everything going so far.

You thought about whether you would ask him about what they were talking about, in the car. You decided, no. You weren't going to be curious. You weren't going to try and pry into his love life. It wasn't your business, and it would never be.

Here you were, in the car. Saying absolutely nothing to each other. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, really. It just felt like there was so much that was left unspoken because the both of you were cowards.

You decided you didn't need anymore time to think. You needed to tell him that this needed to end. That you couldn't continue like this when he loved somebody else. That was unfair to the other girl. No man was worth fighting over, even if it was an unknown girl.

"Ek baat kehni thi tumse." you started.

"Haan, bolo."

"Woh..uh." you paused. "The..uh..us." you gestured between the two of you.

"Um..woh. I was saying ki.."

"Just say it." his jaw ticked.

"I don't think we should do this anymore."

"Oh." he sounded disappointed. "Why?"

"Um. Woh.. mujhe koi pasand aagaya hai."

You yelped loudly as the car suddenly swerved and launched you to the side of the car, where you nearly hit your head on the window.

"Uday! What the fuck?"

You turned your head to see his eyes widened while he stared at the road. His grip on the steering wheel had turned white.

"Sorry. There was...a dog. On the road." you stared at him in disbelief, then looked back at the road to see absolutely no such thing.

'Phir le aaya dil' played on the radio in between you—almost as humourless mockery.

Wo jo ruki si raah baaki hai

Wo jo ruki si chaah baaki hai

There were so many things you'd wished to tell him. You wanted to tell him that when he laid beside you at night, his face adorned a small smile. And that he could make your heart beat faster with just a text. You wanted to interlock your fingers with his and fit into each other like puzzle pieces.

So much to say.

The words 'too domestic' echoed in your ears constantly as you thought about what it'd take you to move on from him. A year maybe? Or maybe two? You never knew.

"So, um. Who is he?" he asked. His voice was quite strained which confused you.

"Tum nahi jaante." you tried to play it off.

"Kabhi toh jaanunga na. Abhi batade." he murmured something else under his breath that you couldn't quite catch.

"Jab jaanega tab jaan jaayega. Sabar rakh abhi kuch der."

From the corner of you eye, you saw his jaw tick again. You didn't give him a chance to speak as the car came to a halt near your apartment and you immediately opened the door to leave.

"Kal ek baar mil sakte hai kya ham? Kuch kaam hai." you assumed he needed help with editing his pictures, or maybe making collages or something.

"Haan, theek hai. Aajaungi mai." you bid him goodbye as you left.

You didn't know what to do with all your feelings. Your heart weighed heavy with everything that was going on in your head.

You imagined how he'd stand beside his beautiful wife as you stood in the corner, watching them with sore eyes. You'd see them welcome their kids and everything. You'd see him become a version of himself that you'd always wished to see. A version that some other woman will see.

You thought of how some other woman's kids will have his eyes now. Some other woman will have all his time and love. Some other woman will have his kisses and his tears.

His love.

His lust.

And you'd be the same woman. The kebab mai haddi, or whatever they called it. You'd told yourself it would be fine. You'd move on one day and his face wouldn't immediately float infront of your eyes the moment you close them. That some other man's touch wouldn't burn as if he'd marked every square inch of your body.

You'd be okay. This would pass.

grgrgr

You dreaded the rest of the day as you dragged yourself to the shower and back out to make yourself look atleast somewhat presentable. This wouldn't have been a problem if a certain man just loved you. But alas, you couldn't blame him. Have you seen you?

You grabbed your car keys and somehow drove up to his apartment.

Going up the lift, you thought about how to act. Should you be acting nonchalant? Indifferent maybe? You didn't know.

The lift dinged open as you walked up to his flat and knocked.

There was no answer.

You knocked once again, and pulled the handle to see it was unlocked. You walked into his apartment as you heard a couple laughs that sounded..awfully feminine.

To say your heart dropped would be an understatement.

From where you stood, you couldn't be seen. But you could see him.

Udaybir and some woman sat in his balcony with cups in their hands as they laughed and talked about something.

You had never seen him laugh like that with you. Hell, you'd never shared a proper cup of tea either.

The woman was gorgeous. Waist length raven black hair and striking eyes, she was a sight to see. No wonder he'd fall for her.

You walked in a little further unknowingly and suddenly Udaybir turned to see you.

His smile dropped a little and came back full fledged again as he whispered something to the girl who turned to look at you too, in almost a...knowing look?

They both stood up as they came out of the balcony. She easily stood at 5'9 at the least, much taller than you. You understood, you thought. Why would he compromise his awesome height genes for a 5 feet nothing woman?

They both hugged each other as she turned and waved at you, passing you a million dollar smile. You heard the door click close as you walked to the balcony, leaning on the railing.

"Ye thi woh?" you asked, not looking away from the view.

"Kaun?" he acted confused. You ignored his question as a result as he sighed and leaned his back on the railing on the wall opposite to where you were standing.

"Kaun thi woh?"

"Koi manager. Koi photo shoot hai South Africa mai. Bata rahi thi."

"Bohot acha photo shoot hoga jo itna hass rahe the." you tried to keep the humor flowing through your words. But that was quite hard, considering how badly you wanted to just grab him and kiss him.

You both were silent for a few moments m None of you said anything, letting the wind flow through your hair. What would you even say?

"Oh, I'm actually in love with you since the past year and I want to hopelessly devote myself to you. What's for lunch by the way?"

"Uday?" you weren't sure if he was looking at you. But you felt his attention n you.

"Agar koi hoga toh tu mujhe batayega na?" you asked quietly. Keeping your voice from cracking and immense pain seeping in was hard. But you managed. You left out the 'aur'. Because you weren't anyone to him, let alone someone. You weren't privilaged enough to ask about someone 'else'.

"Hai koi." you could hear your heart cracking into a million different pieces. You knew this day would come. You knew it. Why were you still so disappointed?

You forced a bashing laugh and tried to keep disappointment out of your voice.

"She's pretty."

"Who?"

"The girl. That was here."

"Well, yeah." if you heard another crack, that was another piece of your heart breaking. The back of your eyes stung with tears as you struggled to keep your voice steady.

"When were you gonna tell me?" you said. Anger seeping into your voice. You were many things, but you weren't a homewrecker.

"I-I just..I had to find a way to tell you. I couldn't just dump everything on you. I dont want to ruin our friendship."

"What friendship, Uday?" you whipped around to face him. "We aren't friends. We're fuck buddies."

"You should've told me if there was some girl who you love. It's not like I own you, I wouldn't have done anything. Just left."

"Wha-" he seemed genuinely confused.

"Can you just tell me what you need help with so I can get done with it and leave?" agitated, you started walking back into the house, when you felt a hand wrap around your wrist and pull you in.

You stumbled as you used his shoulders as leverage to balance yourself. He was still standing with his back leaned to the railing, except now he had you in his arms.

"Uday, kya kar raha hai?" you tried to free yourself of his grip, which only tightened the more you struggled.

"Tujhe lagta hai mai us ladki ko pasand karta hu?"

"Aur nahi toh kya? Itna hass raha tha." you tried to keep the jealousy at bay.

He laughed, eyes flicking down to your lips.

"Pagal aurat. Shaadi shuda hai woh."

You looked up at him with scrunched eyebrows and looked away immediately. From how close you were, you could feel his breath on your face.

"Raat ko jab sota hu na, tu mere sapno mai aati hai. Mere paas soti hai. Uth ti hai. Har din kaam karke aata hun aur tere paas so jaata hu."

You looked at him in utter shock. You weren't in the state of mind to tell him that you thought of the exact same thing.

"Mere saath bahar ghoomti hai. Jahaan jaate hai waaha pyaar dikhata hu tujhe. Tere ishaaron pe naachta hu main. Tu joh bolti hai woh khareed deta hu. Jo bolti hai woh karta hu."

"Pyaar karta hu tujhse." you swallowed thickly as a gasp left your mouth. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing really came out.

"There's no one you were talking about in the car, was there?" you shook your head hesitantly, not trusting yourself to speak.

He leaned in a little closer.

"The first time I went outside and I thought looking at a dress ki, 'ye uspe accha lagega', ushi din pata chal gaya tha ki tere liye mai sab kuch khone ke liye taiyyar hun."

"Bas tu nahi. Tujhe kho dunga na, toh jaan jaise chali jaayegi. Ek din tujhe dekhe beger rehta hu toh lagta hai jaise kisine dil pe pathad rakhdiya ho."

He must have noticed how quiet you were listening to all this.

"Kuch toh bol. Chilla de merepe. Thappad-wappad maar. Do chaar gaali hi dede. Bol ki mai paagal hu. Chutiya hu. Tere laayak nahi hu." his voice cracked slightly. "Chup toh mat reh."

You couldn't stop your bottom lip from wiggling. Tears stung your eyes as you struggled to keep your voice steady.

"Bohot pyaar karti hu tujhse, Uday." you caressed his face with the softness of a long time lover.

"Ek second nahi jaata jab mai tere baare mai nahi soch rahi hoti hu."

"Bas dost ke naam pe dosti rakhti hu tujhse. Warna toh kabki tod li hoti." you both giggled like little girls as you sniffled.

However you couldn't really stop the bitterness from entering your bones. All those months of pining made you sour about your feelings for him.

You couldn't help it as a tear escaped your eye and grief overcame over you again. A sob tore apart your throat as you tried to make sense of how many times you'd given up so many things for him. And how many times you'd do it again.

Udaybir couldn't stop the guilt from etching his face either.

"Do you know how many nights I've cried myself to sleep because of you?" another sob broke through you.

"Literally beside you. While you made me think you'd never love me the way I do." you hit his chest weakly as you cried.

"You made me think like I was unworthy." he grabbed your head and buried it in his chest as you sobbed ugly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I'll be making it up to you for the rest of our life. I promise. You'll never feel like this again."

You looked up from his neck, eyes flicking down to his pink lips. They looked so inviting, especially when you just wanted to kiss him silly since the part year.

"Why have you never kissed me, Uday?" you decided to ask the burning question.

"I thought I'd fall in love if I did. But I fell in love either way."

You chuckled as he swiped his thumbs on your cheeks to wipe your tears. For a moment you just stared at each other before you heard Udaybir whisper 'fuck it' under his breath.

He put his hand on the side of your neck, thumb stroking your cheek, and smashed his lips against yours. He poured his entire soul into it. His jealousy, his love, his lust—everything. Your hands came up to his biceps as you tried to keep yourself steady.

You could feel another fresh batch of tears coming in as you felt the emotions from his lips. You both moved in a sort of rhythm was only understood by people who have loved each other for so long that they cannot keep away.

You both pulled away to catch your breath a little. You then shamelessly grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him back to another kiss. His hands tightened on your waist as you let out a small moan when he slipped his tongue into your mouth.

Your tongues mushed together as you tried to make sense of why you'd never done this before. One of his hands drifted your waist up to your face and your hands dragged down from his neck to his chest.

The noise he made at that was downright unholy. A low, deep groan that reverberated through your entire body and sent a jolt down your core.

It was poetic, really. Two lovers, if you could even call it that, kissing for the first time. The only difference was, it didn't feel like there were any fireworks in the background or anything. No crazy screaming or anything.

It was calm.

It was steady.

It was a type of quiet that you only imagined in books and movies. A comfortable type of quiet that someone lives in with someone else when they've known each other for so long that they don't know the world without each other.

You pulled away as he rested his forehead against yours. You both closed your eyes and just felt the heat of the moment. You opened your eyes to see Udaybir's eyes already trained on your.

You raised your eyebrows at him as if to ask 'what?'. He shook his head and chuckled.

"You're so beautiful. I can't believe I didn't do this before."

You both giggled like teenagers as you grabbed his face and rubbed your noses together.

"Ab tumhe kahi nahi jaane dunga. Apne haathon mai basa ke rakhlunga bilkul."

You laughed softly as you felt his racing heartbeat through his shirt. He kissed your forehead lightly.

It passed. You didn't have to imagine another universe where he loves you and only you. You didn't have to pry away the thought of him with another woman prickling at you every moment.

You were the woman.

You were the moment.

grungus the frog on the drums, what's he gon' do?

Pinda, with best friend bengali!reader, who tries to always teach her punjabi words and phrases but she can't pronounce them that well because of her accent.

_______________

"Abe, tu bol toh," Pinda grinned as he tried to make you say something in his language. He wouldn't even tell you what it was.

"Bol, main osn," he said. You repeated in a broken accent. "boht chahndi haan."

"Chhandni kya hota hai?"

"Arre, sohni, 'chhandni' nahi. Chahndi. Matlab toh ji kisi aur din bataunga."

"Guri, yaar. Bata na." you whined.

"Tussi pehle aakh. Phir mai tenu dasan ge ke matlab ki aye."

"Chal. Bol. 'Main osn boht chahndi haan.." he trailed off to give you time to repeat after him. You tried your best, doing the most to mimic his accent.

"'Te main os naal...." you squinted your eyes as if that would help you speak better.

"'Vyah karan laggi haan'." you tilted your head in confusion.

"Vyah matlab toh shaadi hota hai na? Kya bulwa raha hai tu mujhse, hain?"

"Kuch bhi? Chhod tu saare matlab. Ab pura sentence ek saath bol." you arched an eyebrow in suspicion but did it anyway.

"Main osn bohot chhandni–"

"Chahndi.."

"Main osn bohot chahndi haan te main os naal viyah karan laggi haan." he nodded along as you spoke. He clapped right as you were done and pinched your cheek. You weren't exactly sure how he was so proud of you when you couldn't even roll your R's in Punjabi as well as he could. But who cares? It's not like he could sing as well as you could. Or say his R's in Bengali as well as you.

"Tu din-badin Punjabi kuri banadian ja rihan ho." he grinned proudly.

"Hain?" you smiled equally as wide. "Toh fir tu apna woh 'Veer' naamak dost pata de mujhe." you cackled as his smile immediately dropped and eyes darkened.

_______________

Pinda, with best friend bengali!reader, who sees her in a cheap saree for some classical dance in her college and regrets all the times he hasn't told you how much he loves you.

_______________

Pinda leaned on his jeep as he waited for you to come out of the house to take you to your college. You had some sort of ethnic day today. It was stupid, really. Who the hell would wake up to torture themselves tenfold by dressing up for some dance that everyone would be copying off of each oth–,

Oh.

Oh, goodness.

Pinda stared as you came out the door. You adorned a gorgeous red and white saree. A red blouse stretched over the soft swell of your breasts as you flailed your arms around to fix your aanchal (pallu) and kuchi (crease). Your hair was twisted into a long braid, jewels hanging along the lengths of it. The bangles on your wrist clanked together, filling Pinda's ears with a rythmic sound. He wished he could take a pic of you looking like this and put it in a locket. And go to war maybe.

How was a war different anyway? Any day that went without seeing your face was a day of war for him. He thought, if he ever went to war and had to bleed for this god awful country, he'd make sure to remember you in his last moments. He hoped that being in heaven was the same as watching you laugh. Or watching you make that irritated face you'd always make when your dupatta would constantly fall off. Or seeing your beautiful face.

He tried to play it off when you walked up to him asking, "Bindi theek jageh pe hai na?" he nodded. He didn't think he was really in the headspace to speak. The maang tikka shone the sun right in his eyes, as if mocking the thoughts behind them. There wasn't much to see, only the words 'I would bare my teeth at the very harbringer of death if it meant that you'd keep your eyes on me for just a minute longer."

Casual devotion, really.

Except he couldn't seem to be able to keep his mind off of how if he didn't swoop in to woo you, someone else would be right on your tail, waiting like a sly fox waiting to charge for its prey.

Difference was, Pinda wasn't a fox. More like a dog, really. If you'd tell him to sit, he'd sit. Touch his head on your feet like you're a shrine? He's bending right down. Bring you sweets like you're some goddess answering his prayers? Oh, he would make a bhajan only for you. He would remember it as many times in the day as he'd thought of a different ways he'd love you in. Tell him to shut up? He's shoving an apple in his mouth and sitting at your feet. He'd inch closer to your hand so it would have no choice but to run through his hair.

This way of thinking was nothing. His dreams were much, much worse.

_______________

Pinda, with best friend bengali!reader, who sees her surrounded by random ass men in durga puja, when she's dressed like the angel in his dreams, and tries not to lose his shit.

Pinda tried to keep his eyes on the work he was doing. That evidently turned out to be very hard when his pari was surrounded by a bunch of 'hotochharas' as she liked to call them.

Pinda watched as the soft column of her throat looked him straight in the eye as she threw her head back and laughed at one of the men's jokes. Or the man, he hoped. What didn't helps at all was the little sliver of cleavage that leaked out from behind the pallu.

All he really wanted to do was bury his head in there and worship her in words she wouldn't understand.

When one of the men got a little too close, Pinda would have to put a lock on his feet and remind himself that you're not his. Yet. He would have to prevent himself from running over there and slap the jackass into Mamta didi's arms.

Yes, asche bochor abar hobe, but abar chele ta toh asbe na!

(Yes, same time next year, but the boy wouldn't come again atleast!)

Whatever. Not his business.

Why the fuck was that guy touching your hair like that?

Nevermind. This might have to turn into his business.

He maintained a calm posture as he marched over to where you sat and plopped down beside you.

"Aur? Kiman ache sab?" he grinned proudly as he looked around at the boys, who looked at each other in confusion.

You snickered as you corrected him, "It's 'Kemon acho sobai?'"

"Haan, wahi toh bola?" he stared at you in confusion, the proud smile never ceasing to exist.  

_______________

Pinda, with best friend bengali!reader, who finally confesses. But not in the way he expects. He says it in an argument. An argument that, according to him, you had no business having.

_______________

"Tu mere sir pe uthke baitha rahega toh aisa hi hoga." you grumbled as you walked 3 steps ahead of him. That proved to be unsuccessful considering he was almost 2 heads taller than you.

"Sir pe baitha nahi tha. Tere laee tak tak karrin pyea."

(I was looking out for you.)

"Mujhe nahi pata iska kya matlab hai." you scrunched your eyebrows, trying to walk faster get yourself rid of him.

"Tera khayal rakhan raha tha mai." he said in an exaggerated hindi accent.

You started getting irritated.

"Mera khayal rakhne ka kya matlab? Baap hai tu mera? Paach saal ki bacchi hu main?"

He was noticeably getting annoyed too.

"Main tora dost haan, sahi? Dost khayal bhi na rakhe?"  

"Khayal rakhne ka matlab ye nahi ki jis bhi ladke se baat karu tu use bhaga dega."

"Tu nai jaandi o kida tere wal wekh reha si."

(You don't know the way he was looking at you.)

"Jaanti hu. Dost ki tarah dekh raha tha. Iss rate mai toh meri shaadi bhi nahi hogi."

"Tussi us jeya kutte naal vyah karan chahnda ay?"

"Woh kutta nahi hai! Dost hai mera!"

"Haramkhor hai! Bakchad hai!"

"Hain?" you raised your voice in confusion. "Bakchad?"

"Arre, tu jo bolti hai. Bokchod ya kuchh?"

"Bokachoda?"

"Haan, wahi."

You stared at him in disbelief. How the hell did one say that easy of a word so bad? You scoffed as you tried not to laugh, turning away and starting to walk fast again.

"Mere dost ke baare mai aisa mat bol. Woh accha ladka hai." you entered your house as he walked straight past you like he was the one who lived there, not you.

"Khaak ka accha ladka, sohni. Chutiya hai woh." he muttered the last part under his breath, but clearly not quiet enough.

"Gurbaaz! Band kar ye naatak!" you yelled in annoyance.

"Naatak lagra hai ye sab tujhe?" he turned around slowly with an angry look on his face.

"Aur nahi toh kya? Pareshan karne ke liye karta hai tu bas ye sab. Tere wajah se na mera kabhi koi boyfriend banega na koi dost. Bohot nautanki karta hai tu." you gruffed. You tried to keep the burning question out of your voice: why did he care so much?

"Tu waisa boyfriend nahi banane waali."

"Kyu? Kya karega tu?" you challenged.

"Uss chutiye da mooh toriya dinaan." he raised his volume, speaking through clenched teeth.

"Acha ji? Usko kuch hua na, to mai terese baat nahi karungi. Dekhle tu."

"Mat kar. Lekin tere naal koi banda na dikhjaye mujhe. Teh fer mai uss nu chahrey te goli wichh pehraan."

You aggressively threw down your jhumka on the table.

"Haan, karle tu ye gundagardi. Kam se kam Krinaal toh waisa nahi hai." you walked off into your room.

He came walking in right behind you.

"Sun na. Meherbani karke uss naal gall na kar." his voice was now reduced to a softer plea, and the angry crinkles on his face were now calmer. He joined his hands in a mock prayer as he looked you in the eye.

"Woh accha banda nai hai, sohni. Baat maan meri." he pleaded.

You sighed as you refused to look at him, engrossed in taking off your bangles and putting them in your vanity in a painstakingly slow pace.

You were wondering on how else to make him apologise to make sure that it would be a humiliation ritual for him, when you heard a heavy thump on the ground. You looked back in confusion to see Pinda kneeling on the ground.

It was funny, really. A man who was almost 2 heads taller than you, who reached upto to below your chest when he sat in the chair and you stood, who's hands were almost double yours, who's feet were almost double yours, who's glare could drive off the biggest drug lords, who's threats were famous in the village to not be lies—was kneeling on the ground. Looking up at you with big eyes. His hands rested on his thighs.

"Pinda-"

"Chup mat reh." he joined his hands again as you looked at him with widened eyes. "Maafi maang raha hu tujhse."

You quickly ran over to him, grabbing his hands and prying them apart frantically.

"Pinda, kya kar Raha hai yaar. Chhod na–" he wouldn't budge. That was what was so scary. Was he really willing to forget God and swallow his pride for you, on his knees begging for your forgiveness?

"Bohot pyaar karta hu tujhse."

You gasped softly as your hands fell away from his joined ones. You took a step back and if his words burnt you.

"Tu nahi bhi karti toh manu tenu uss haramkhor mard weste barbaad hovenda na wekh sakda."

(I can't see you ruin yourself for a guy like that.)

You stared at him with widened eyes.

"Pyaar mai paagal toh hu lekin tereko khush dekhna chahta hu."

A big smile pasted itself onto your face as you suddenly jumped on him and hugged him which made both of you fall to the floor.

"Sohni–" he wrapped his arms around you too.

"Mai bhi tujhse bohot pyaar karti hu." you refused to look up from his neck in shyness but you could feel him freeze up in your arms.

"Ki?" he whispered close to your ears. He held you a little tighter and sat up with the both of you.

He let out a laugh of disbelief and buried his head in your neck further. His buried nose inhaled a into your neck while his beard tickled you, making you giggle. This, in turn, made him chuckle too.

He knew you had done some sort of black magic on him. Because there was nobody he loved more than you.

grungus says wakhra swag ni

Sleepless nights weren't really strangers to you. They are almost a friend. You would often find yourself laying awake, staring at the ceilings, wherever you were. You would close your eyes for a moment and try to sleep, but then an unsupervised thought would come crash into your brain and poof. No more sleep. You didn't really realise when things did a 180 on you. Where you would sleep in cars playing loud music, all of a sudden you couldn't even sleep when it was as quiet as a lion's den. You just waited for your brain to start making you feel like shit again.

Tonight was no different.

You laid awake on your side, your eyes shifting to glance at the clock on the wall to see what time it was. It was about 10 minutes left to 2am. The soft snores from beside you continued as you started overthinking again.

He doesn't really like me, does he?

You can't fucking ask him out. You agreed to this. When about 10 months ago you and Udaybir agreed to this arrangement, you knew of the unspoken rules:

1. No falling for each other.

2. No kissing. You weren't sure why this was a rule. You just assumed it was like this because he had never kissed you in the entire time you'd been..doing whatever this was.

3. No possessiveness. No one can stop each other from fucking others. It seemed like this wasn't that bad of an idea for about the first 4 months. Then you realised all of a sudden how he was rarely ever spotted with another girl. You were definitely just overthinking this too, but this was still just an unspoken rule. Maybe this pussy just too good.

4. No staying the morning after. None of the 'making breakfast together' bullshit. Another arrangement that lasted only about 2 months. One day, he came over, then he came (pun intended) and then because of how much you both tired each other out, he just fell asleep next to you. You had nearly forgotten how the next morning to his hand on your waist and completely freaked out, but decided to not go back to that memory again. It wasn't a healthy thing to think about your friend (with benefits)

5. No one could know. He was a model and stuff. How could he be keeping his reputation up by roaming with a mediocre girl like you? That was what you thought until he practically dragged you to an event he had to go to, as a plus one. You didn't know why he didn't take some of the prettier girls he knew. He said something along the lines of, "I know you the best." and, "You know me more than any of those people. Plus I'm not sleeping with the others, I don't know why you keep thinking that." You weren't sure why you vividly remembered the second part, but you refused to believe it.

6. You don't remember the rest. The lines blurred too quickly, atleast for you.

He didn't seem to be bothered by anything much. He was still the carefree guy with a big dick who you fucked pretty often. Even if he had some inner turmoil within himself, none of it showed on his face.

You didn't really know how to feel about that.

You remember it, vividly. The day you fell. Hard.

___________

You let out a frustrated groan as your phone pinged with another mail. You were on leave today, did these people not fucking understand?

Maybe this day wouldn't have to come if your shitty boss didn't fucking yell at you infront of a room full of people. The only reason you were staying in this firm at all was because of the fat paycheck.

It had been a small mistake, a result of slight misunderstanding and miscalculations. You had interchanged the first draft of a merger out for the second one since you felt the second one was better. It wasn't that you didn't have liberty to do that either. Just, your boss was frustrated that the first one hadn't been shown first. At the end of the meeting, she explained how she actually really liked the second draft and didn't need to see the first one.

Maybe she could've held on to the yelling then.

You couldn't keep the burn of tears behind your eyes as you rushed to the bathroom and broke down. You noticed how she never snapped like that at the prettier employees. You weren't sure if that was a looks thing or if she was gay or something.

Especially because you weren't the one who literally spelled the name of the merger wrong. On the official document. You'd convinced yourself it was because the other girl was much more youthful looking. Longer hair, smaller face, prettier voice. Taller.

Yes, later you learned that that girl was literally her niece but whatever. Still was grounds for a good ass whooping.

You'd been home the entire day and kept trying not to constantly spill your tears. You didn't have any energy to cry anymore. Maybe it was nearly the date for your period. You phone pinged again and you saw a message from Udaybir. You weren't really in the mood to get dicked down. And he wasn't the type to do emotional conversations. You and him both knew that you weren't the type to decline some good ass dick, so this surprised the both of you.

Udaybir

Hey pretty.

Can I come over?

You

hey lol

im not really in the mood

rain check?

Udaybir

Yeah no worries

You okay?

You

peachy wbu

Udaybir

You don't sound fine

You

we're texting

where did you hear me

Udaybir

Oh shut up ykwim

You

lol

im good dw

Udaybir

I'm going to worry because you would've sent atleast 9 stickers by now

What's going on?

You

Uday im fine

how are you tho

Udaybir

Peachy too

I'm gonna go

Got some work

You

yeah sure bye

Udaybir reacted ❤️ to "yeah sure bye"

He sounded disappointed. You almost debated on going back on your word and just calling him over and get done with it. But you decided against it because you would probably start sobbing in the middle of it. And you were not a pretty crier. Nor were you stupid enough to open up emotionally to him just yet. You had gone on multiple meetups, that you refused to call dates, where you let him in your heart just a little. And him too. But that didn't really matter too much.

Between another session of sulking and trying not to absolutely break again, you heard a knock on the door. Who the hell could it possibly be at this hour? Nevermind, it was just 6pm. Maybe ironing? You made sure to check the hidden pepper spray spot before you walked up to the door. You peeked through the keyhole and you saw Udaybir standing there.

A surge of anger rushed through you. You didn't expect him to show up even after you said no. Why the hell was he here then?

You opened the door. He looked up and smiled at you. You raised your eyebrows in question. He was still in work attire, a simple light blue untucked button up and black dress pants, meaning he came straight from work. Was he really this desperate?

He walked past you into your house as he lifted up two packets of something.

"Brought your favourite chopsuey. Aaj pata hai discount mai mila? Woh bhi 40%. Lag raha hai jaise jackpot jeet liya ho." he chuckled, putting the bags down on your table.

The way he moved through your apartment with such practiced ease squeezed your heart a little.

"I thought I told you not today?"

"I'm not here to fuck, Y/N. Hum ab bhi dost hai. Mujhe apne doston ki parvah hoti hai."

The words 'since when?' hung between you as you gravitated towards the packet that contained your chopsuey. You admitted that you were a little hungry. Before you could reach for your food, Udaybir snatched the box from your hands.

"Lekin pehle, tum mujhe bataogi ki tumhe kya hua hai aaj. Fir khaana peena."

"Oh, come on." you groaned.

"No. You tell me first."

"Fine." you launched into an angry rant about yesterday. At the end of it, you had lost your appetite again.

"You want solutions or you just want me to listen?"

"I just want you to listen." you continued as he listened to you attentively.

He nodded at each word you spoke. He cracked jokes in between to lighten the air a little and you were surprised it worked.

When you were finally done, you felt a lot lighter. You didn't tell him how fucking ugly you felt near those other women, or how you thought about how you almost always looked down when one of the those other girls walked beside you outside.

The moment you started thinking about it again, was probably the breaking point. You tried hard to keep your tears in check, coughing in between to cover up the voice cracks. But Udaybir noticed. He noticed everything.

"You know I'm not your boss, right? You can cry, Y/N."

2 hours of unshed tears made their way to your eyes. Your throat closed up as a choked sob escaped your mouth. You buried your face in your hands to not provide him with the displeasure of your crying face.

He pulled you by the back of your neck to his chest. Your cries were muffled by the the shirt that you were most definitely ruining with your tears.

"It's like I'm never enough. For anyone. Or anything." you cried.

"You're enough. You're enough for someone. Always, I promise."

His hand rubbing your back and the other one caressing your hair to soothe you were working really well. You calmed down after about 15 minutes of just ugly crying.

You pulled away from his chest and looked away immediately. He didn't need to see you like this.

He held your chin and turned your face back to him. Wiping your tears, he pressed a light kiss on the top of your head. It all felt too intimate. You weren't sure when 'dont stay till the next morning' became 'getting take out for my friend who I'm having sex with'. You looked up to see him already looking at you. The evening sun shone right behind his head from the window and gave him sort of an angelic look.

You didn't think he had looked better than this before. The sun shone on his face and lit it up like the sunshine. The orange sky in contrast to his dusky skin made him look almost like a God. You could see his lips moving, but couldn't hear him. His hair was tousled and messy, lightening up like a halo. His brown eyes looked more hazel now. They were as bright as the times he would tell you about how much he missed his village. And when he ate the pasta you cooked.

The sunlight between the lines on his face made him look almost 10 years younger. Had he always been so beautiful?

You got knocked back into reality when he pulled away to reheat the food. You stared at his back. Why was this so normal for him? How was he so normal about just strutting through your house in his work clothes? Nothing about this was friendly. It was too domestic. Too lovey dovey. Too much of something you couldn't name yet.

You suddenly thought about how things would change when he would get a girlfriend. Bile rose up your throat as you thought about the kinds of women he talks to. What the hell was he even doing with you? There was so much better out there. There was no way you were what he wanted. Maybe he was having sex with others. But he never told you about them? Maybe he just didn't want you to know. He was slightly aware of your insecurities. Maybe he was just being nice.

No, you couldn't think this way. He was never yours. You will never be his. You didn't do this jealousy-love stuff. You weren't jealous, you were simply making an observation.

But the way he held you today scared you. It wrapped a large hand around your heart and squeezed the very part which held a soft corner for him. You couldn't keep your mind off of how his hands wrapped around your waist and how they caressed your hair, even when he brought you your food and sat beside you telling you about his day. Telling you about his day? When was that so normal?

There were so many things wrong with this. You and him would never work. You, the awkward, self deprecating girl who was sure she looked desperate. And him, the charismatic, walking sex god. You were vastly different. He would be embarrassed to even walk with you outside.

Your chest physically hurt as you thought back to the many times you'd given in to him. You thought about how if he was in a situation like yours tomorrow, you'd drop everything for him. You'd give up so much to hold him close and to caress his hair the same way he did to you and kiss him all over his face. Twice on his lips maybe. Maybe a third for good luck. Maybe a fourth because you loved him so much.

Wait.

Love?

Oh.

Oh.

hai