#tykan

He paced the length of the room, his footsteps heavy. For once, the grace that had been instilled in him since he was born was thrown aside due to the turmoil of emotions inside of him. Betrayal was first and foremost, the bitter emotion making him feel sick to his stomach. His insides twisted painfully, making him want to throw up the meal he had just eaten.

Anger was a harsh second.

He could feel his heart beating painfully, his blood pumping throughout his body. It made his movements aggressive, wanting to do nothing more than to walk up to that bastard, to both of them, and punch them in their stupid faces. Hurt them the way he was hurting.

Kanda’s agitated pace slowed; his footsteps were not as heavy but the sharp twists at the end of his line belayed his residual anger.

Hurt.

It was making him clench his jaw painfully, teeth grinding so as not to spout the pathetic things he wanted to say: how could you do this? I thought you were better than this. I’m your husband aren’t I?

How could you hurt me like this?

Kanda abruptly stopped. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he let out a weary, bone-deep sigh.

Deep down he knew it would end like this. Their marriage was nothing more than a political gain for both their kingdoms. War was constantly on Tyki’s borders and Kanda’s kingdom had one of the best armies. Tyki’s kingdom was much larger, more space for agriculture, therefore able to feed Kanda’s citizens and armies. It was a mutually beneficial agreement.

No feelings attached.

God, how he wished there was no feelings involved.

Kanda reached up to give a light tug to his bangs, an unconscious movement that was the only tell of his anxiety and troubled mind. Walking over to the large-windowed doors, Kanda pushed them open, stepping out on to the balcony.

Leaning against the railing he breathed in the fresh ocean air, so unlike his own kingdom’s polluted air; it was filled with smoke and exhaust and dying embers floating up into the always grey tinged sky. Here, you could see for miles… could see the entirety of the surrounding city, even to the fields beyond that, and the glittering of the ocean on the horizon. You didn’t have to peer through smokestacks, see nothing but mountains or have the constant ringing of the blacksmiths in the background.

Kanda ran his hand along the warm, smooth stone of the balcony railing, so unlike the cold and harsh stone that made up his kingdom’s palace. Even where they lived was different. They were different.

Maybe too different.

A harsh noise left Kanda as his hands tightened, the skin across his knuckles turning white.  

Their marriage might have been arranged, forced, but the feelings Kanda held now for the tall, dark-haired man were not.  

Tyki, at first, had irritated him to no end; the other man’s generally cool and uninterested attitude towards everything, how he was so informal with his subordinates, even to his citizens, his lax attitude towards the constantly looming war on his borders…. It all drove him mad.

But as they had started spending more time together –much to Kanda’s initial dismay– Kanda had noticed that it was all just a façade the other man put up.

His indifferent demeanor was to cover up how hurt he was that his kingdom was suffering, to bury down his anger over being handed a kingdom on the brink of war, while his brother ruled an idyllic kingdom.

His informality came from a wish of wanting to help his citizens. A show that they could trust him, see him as a person that they could come to with their problems rather than an imposing, untouchable figure.

The war was the worst of them all, keeping him up to the early hours of the morning, unable to sleep from the constant worry over whether his kingdom would survive, if his people would survive. Kanda had lost count of the number of times he had awoken in the middle of the night, feeling the loss of Tyki’s presence in bed, his side of the bed cool to the touch. Kanda would find him on the balcony overlooking his city, face draw tight with anxiety and worry, only to hastily throw up his indifferent mask when he heard Kanda’s quiet footsteps.

Seeing the other side of Tyki, the one he rarely showed people, caused the small bud of affection Kanda felt in his heart slowly bloom to a breath-stopping feeling of love.

It was a feeling that he thought Tyki reciprocated. It was something they hadn’t talked about, Kanda having a hard enough time understanding his own feelings in his head, let alone vocalizing them. He found that Tyki was the same. Someone who valued actions over words, so when Tyki attitude towards Kanda shifted from apathy to all of a sudden showering him with gifts-

“This is a journal from an acclaimed General. I thought it might help you in your war room.”

“I brought these plants back from my visit with my brother. Look, the colour of the flowers, I thought it would match well with the others in our room.”

“I’m glad the outfit I ordered from the tailor looks so good on you. I figured that the colour would make the blue more noticeable in your eyes.”

“Here, it’s a new sheath I requested for your sword. I had them engrave red lotuses on it. Those are your favourite, right?”

Paired with the subtle touches – a large hand on the small of his back during a party, a whisper of a touch brushing hair out of his face, a knee pressed against his during council meetings, a warm hand on his hip as they slept-

It all made it seem as though there were mutual feelings.

But now…

Now Kanda wasn’t so sure.

Tyki pressing someone up against the wall, fingers combing through a shock of red hair as their lips locked together, mutual sounds of pleasure coming from the pair as a leg curled around Tyki’s hips pulling him in closer, closer–

Kanda’s fists thumped against the stone of the railing, the dull throb of pain barely noticed through the fog of anger and hurt that settled over him. He could feel another crack slice through his heart. He was shaking, his vision blurring as he felt his eyes burn. He drew in a deep breath, trying to calm himself as his chest felt like it was being crushed… crushed between two boulders until he would be on the ground broken and bleeding, the hurt leaking out of him for all to see.

“Kanda?”

The intense feelings only increased with the sound of Tyki’s voice calling from inside their room. Kanda closed his eyes, sucking in a deep breath trying –by God was he trying– to prevent Tyki from seeing him this way.

“Kanda, are you in here?”

That thought gave Kanda pause. Tyki didn’t deserve to see him this way. If Tyki really did feel nothing for Kanda –a thought that nearly send him into another fit of gasping breaths– then Kanda would only show Tyki what he wished for the other man to see. Tyki didn’t need to be privy to Kanda’s thoughts, his feelings, his heart.

“Oh, there you are. Are you okay? One of the vases is in pieces near the door.”

Kanda took a deep breath. The feeling of being crushed didn’t lessen, the boulders on his chest still weighing down on him. But now, now they wouldn’t hurt him. Now he would use them to keep Tyki away, use them as a barrier to prevent the man from ever getting close again.

Kanda’s shoulders relaxed. He forced his pained expression away. He stared ahead with an emotionless face, save for his customary scowl.

Yes, he decided as he turned to face the oblivious man, he would play a good husband. Do his part as the kingdom’s military leader, be there during council meetings and assemblies with other kingdoms.

He could wait.

A small groan came from the other, the hands on Tyki's waist squeezing before gripping tighter. He knew the other's habit when almost fully awake; the twitching of his muscles and the constant pressing and nuzzling of the other's body against his side, not to mention the sighs and small puffs of air coming from between those pretty lips, made Tyki immensely amused this early in the morning. The long-haired one was never a morning person but sometimes, he is. Like today.

"Morning, love," Tyki greeted, pressing a soft kiss on the top of the other's head.

An incoherent mumble was heard before a hum graced Tyki's ear, "Hmm. G'morn,"

They stayed silent for a moment, basking in the peaceful atmosphere that surrounded their apartment before a very manly yelp came from the curly haired one, a faint bite mark now on his skin.

"Jesus! Kanda Yuu!" He hissed, glaring playfully at the now grinning Kanda, head still propped on his chest but now with eyes full of humor. "What was that for?" Tyki questioned, cocking a brow as his hand travel down to Kanda's bare waist.

The long haired man shrugged nonchalantly, dropping a kiss on Tyki's jaw. "Nothing. Just felt like it."

Tyki clicked his tongue in disapproval before shifting Kanda's body, hoisting the younger man above him, feeling every jut of bone of his body. "Now, that wasn't very nice. You ruined such a precious moment." He scolded, eyes narrowing in faux disappointment.

"Well..." Kanda mumbled, burying his face against the side of Tyki's neck, pressing closer - cuddling closer. This side of Kanda was rare and it's also one of the reasons why Tyki loved mornings. "Instead of clinging to that precious moment, why not take advantage of this moment," The long-haired male made sure to press his body sensually against Tyki's, biting his lower lip and looking at the male under him beneath his eyelashes.

The older male really like mornings. Especially when one Kanda Yuu act like this. And what kind of lover was Tyki if he ignored the other's suggestion? Bad. That was why the next moment, the long-haired guy found himself under the older man, body arching against the one over him and moans escaping from his lips in pleasure.