#tyily

Giving up was among your options, like, since ever. Never a priority, of course. Just... in case you need the option to be out of your pocket, anytime. 

So as the sun’s up this morning, that option makes it to your top list, you’re in a terrible denial but it feels so tempting. To stop and drop things, sounds really easy. If you do, then, will all the burden you’ve been having since you don’t know when, be lifted away? You can’t help thinking of the consequences if you really are about to give up. 

Living away is just so hard, and you barely made a real connection ever since you landed your feet into this part of the world, few years ago. It could be because... people are just so different here. Or it could be just, you. Especially by this time of the year, when people would wrap themselves in a warm hug from their loved ones; this is just.. the perfect time to have those moments. Even your housemates are starting to bring their partners home more, especially as the sun started to sink. Having your room inches away from the main door, you could always sense every single time those two-pairs of footsteps and giggles entering the space. 

Too noisy, you would always whispered that to yourself. 

Too naive, your mind scolded you for being jealous. 

You hold your phone tight, you don’t even know who to reach out. Knowing your parents, they are the least on your list to reach out when you feel this way. And not your brother; empathising is not one of his strength. You decide to tap on your social media account; Who knows you’ll get a name.

In which... you do.

You see your best friend back home, Mark, just updated his timeline; with a picture of him and his current girlfriend in a cute date.

Current.... You’ve been through phases with him. Or more like, his phases. If there’s one thing that you will always remember about him, is how much you two would drifted apart every single time he got himself a girlfriend. And ran his way back as your bestie once he broke up. And told you all his stories almost 24 hours a day, until he told you he met a girl. And the cycle repeats itself. Funny, almost a decade and he hasn’t changed a bit. What’s funnier, your circle used to think that you’ll be together one day. But the funniest, you had a period of time wondering if they could be right.

You sigh. Probably not this time. 

Until you heard a ding,

Mark: Yo gurl. 

And in no time, giving up on life disappears from your top list. 

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thank you sweetie lyra @jaeminscoffee for checking! 🥺💚