#twitterature

A/N: I actually did this as a Twitterature-type thing on my private account, so if the formatting isn't what you're used to… um. Sorry for liking writing exercises. Like it's my fault. Also, please pardon any typos. Anyway, on with the fic. :)

...

The first time Merlin confesses, Arthur takes his sword and drives it straight through his chest.

Keyword: first.

-

The second time Merlin confesses, palms up and eyes molten gold, Arthur takes his sword and then doesn't. It falls to the earth, plunges in deeper than before.

The setting is familiar. This is not the second time Merlin's confessed. If Arthur lifted his shirt—nothing.

-

The third time Merlin confesses, Arthur chokes on his words, asks him why. Merlin takes his hands in his, and a dragon made of sparks curls around Arthur's neck.

"Only for you. Always for you."

Arthur can't reach for his sword. The earth is unbroken; Merlin's breath is warm.

-

The fourth time Merlin confesses, Arthur ignores him. He doesn't have time for this.

He has nothing but time.

-

The fifth time Merlin confesses, the words come out different. Arthur should've noticed sooner. Perhaps time is different for sorcerers. Perhaps it's just Merlin.

Arthur tells him to go home. "It's not forever," but the way Merlin looks at him… it's not forever—an oath.

-

The sixth time Merlin confesses, Arthur says, "I know," and Merlin's face crumples like the earth, like his flesh under sharp metal.

Arthur didn't know. Not really. He's only had a couple test runs. There will be more to come, he's sure of it.

-

The seventh time Merlin confesses, it is not in regards to his magic. He doesn't meet Arthur's eyes, and he doesn't reach for him either. There's no confidence in this, and it's not what Arthur's expected either.

This time, Arthur says, "I'm sorry."

Merlin leaves on his own.

-

The eighth time Merlin confesses—actually, Arthur doesn't let him. He's had too many revelations lately, he thinks.

-

The ninth time Merlin confesses, Arthur wonders what's missing. What he's supposed to say.

Merlin's eyes shine, twin suns, and Arthur wonders if this repetition actually has anything to do with him at all.

-

The tenth time Merlin confesses, Arthur says, "Anything else?" It comes out harsher than intended. Merlin doesn't reply.

Arthur thinks about his pride. Thinks about Merlin's. It's not fair; nothing ever is.

-

The eleventh time Merlin confesses, Arthur doesn't ask for anything else, but he does ask about Merlin's past.

"I was born with it."

"I meant in Camelot. You've used it, obviously."

"'Obviously.'"

Arthur marvels at the thought of a true love's kiss.

-

The twelfth time Merlin confesses, Arthur presses his mouth to his manservant's, his friend's, his sorcerer's ("Only for you. Always."), and waits for the rush of wind, the golden glow. He steps back and smiles.

There's something odd in his chest, but he has tomorrow, now.

-

The thirteenth time Merlin confesses, Arthur drops to his knees.

There is no tomorrow.

Merlin follows him. Apologizes, says he only uses it for Arthur, and Arthur… he leans forward, head falling to rest on Merlin's shoulder. He weeps.

-

The fourteenth time Merlin confesses, Arthur once again meets the earth, but it's controlled. He pats the space next to him.

"I just need a minute," he says.

He has already taken so many minutes. Merlin's shoulder presses into his.

-

The fifteenth time Merlin confesses. The fifteenth time, Merlin confesses.

Arthur aches. And he apologizes.

He's not ready yet. He's never been so unready.

-

The sixteenth time Merlin confesses, Arthur says nothing, does nothing.

"Arthur?" Merlin asks. Then, "Sire?"

Arthur leads them back to Camelot. Merlin doesn't ask what's to happen. Arthur wouldn't be able to tell him, anyway.

-

The seventeenth time Merlin confesses, Arthur is too busy staring at a leaf that's landed in his hair. It's honey, a shade darker than Merlin's eyes. Arthur wants to brush it away.

More importantly, Arthur wants to touch Merlin. He takes a step back—Merlin mistakes it for fear.

-

The eighteenth time Merlin confesses, Arthur watches his mouth, full lips and pink tongue. He whispers a spell, and Arthur can feel his breath. He knows what Merlin tastes like.

Does Merlin remember how he tastes?

Arthur watches Merlin's lips curl around his name and swallows.

-

The nineteenth time Merlin confesses, Arthur considers true love's kiss again.

Keyword: considers.

-

The twentieth time Merlin confesses, Arthur stops thinking. He'll make Merlin remember.

-

The twenty-first time Merlin confesses, Arthur says, "I know," then, "I love you," then, "It's always been you. Only you."

Merlin's eyes catch the autumn sun. "Only for you." The words get lost in the wind, but Arthur knows them by heart.

-

The twenty-second time Merlin confesses, Arthur grabs his arms because if he doesn't, he fears he'll collapse on the forest floor for the—he doesn't know.

Arthur doesn't know, and he just wants Merlin back. A king in love is weak. He's baring his throat. It's not enough.

-

The twenty-third time Merlin confesses, Arthur lets him do his tricks, lets him take Arthur's hand, lets him say it's all for him, then, when blue eyes that sometimes aren't blue stare at him, expectant, he says, "I miss you."

He can do it over tomorrow. Today.

-

The twenty-fourth time Merlin confesses, Arthur presses their foreheads together. There is no right answer. There is only today.

Arthur chokes on a thank you. It's not about his pride.

-

The twenty-fifth time Merlin confesses, Arthur confesses too. I just want to see you tomorrow & I thought it would be enough & I can't love you in a way that matters. At least, that's what I think—what I'm afraid of.

Today and today and today. Over and over.

-

The twenty-sixth time Merlin confesses, Arthur tells him the other truths. I stabbed you, at first. Then I took it out on the world. Then I walked away. Then I stayed.

There's still one more truth needed. He doesn't say it, despite the test runs. He doesn't say it.

-

The twenty-seventh time Merlin confesses, Arthur gives him the whole truth. Merlin swears he does the same. Arthur's not sure how much worth swears have anymore. Not in this purgatory.

"I don't need the truth," Arthur decides. "Just you."

The irony being that that's his truth.

-

The twenty-eighth time Merlin confesses, Arthur tests him, not maliciously. Questions about his quests, about his adventures, his magic. He's heard it all, he knows, but it doesn't matter.

When he kisses Merlin, it's for the sake of kissing him. This, he'll never forget.

-

The twenty-ninth time Merlin confesses, Arthur listens, gives his lines, holds Merlin's hands as tight as Merlin holds his.

"There is no one like you," Arthur says.

"There is," Merlin replies.

Arthur inhales Merlin's exhaled, "You."

-

The thirtieth time Merlin confesses, he doesn't.

Arthur stares as Merlin continues on. Yes, the lead-up may have been different, but it's been different before. "You remember?"

"Yesterday?" Merlin grins. "I'll never forget."

Arthur catches up to him, finally. "Neither will I."

...

A/N: Shitty ending is shitty. I know. -_- But this was also the first Merlin (and Merthur) fic I've completed, so I'm content. Enough. I've got another AU on the way, but it's gotten a bit out of hand, so I'm not sure at all when it'll be posted. It'll be a lot longer than this, though! And more descriptive. Yay.