#twigfreckle

But spending the whole day chasing prey around, searching for scent, and avoiding being in direct sight of twolegs made her reminisce on that similar pain. Although, perhaps it was not the soreness. Fawnstar did not need to work as heavy as she has to now. The cream and white tabby only left camp for gatherings, important patrols, or to seek thrill. She never thought that she was obligated to help with hunting or marking borders or worry about prey becoming scarce. Even during cold, leafbare nights, there was always a rabbit or another variation of plump rodent to be caught and taken home. Fawnstar saw that she was a personification of her own authority and stuck with that image to the point that she was merely a character to the other clans. A cat who can only be heard about through word of mouth.

This side of Lushclan territory was broad and bright, but with a constant lurking stillness. The Lushclan cats needed to search far through the trees to find a whiff of prey. And on the other side, passing through a creek and through even more trees, were the twoleg nests. Similarly bright, but made of colorful wood and with a large portion of land enclosed away, presumably their own territory. Sometimes, Fawnstar would see the Twoleg kits linger around The Lush, but never too far, where the burned parts of The Lush lay.

Fawnstar was invited to hunt with Twigfreckle, one of her warriors, but it was odd for a number of reasons. Most obviously, Twigfreckle preferred her personal space, but that may explain why she requested to split up on the patrol. Fawnstar just thought they might find prey better that way, but there wasn’t much to prove so. She only caught a small red bird, a decent-sized morsel. When she went to meet up with the chocolate and white speckled she-cat again, while the sun was still high up, she noticed the obvious squirrel that hung on Twigfreckle’s jaws. Two prey animals of the same color, but neither of the same value.

“Oh! That looks like a rosefinch.” Twigfreckle pointed out as she bounded towards the other cat. “You can tell because of the plumage. It’s more pinker than a normal finch. What a pretty catch!”

Fawnstar awkwardly looked to the side, snorting out a forced laugh. “And you have a squirrel right there.”

“It’s a red squirrel!” She nodded, giggling. “I bet you can guess why it’s called a red squirrel. I used to love learning about different animal names when I was an apprentice. It made hunting so much more fun to call them what they are instead of what they look like, like ‘bird’ or ‘squirrel’.”

The cream tabby was sure that she was forming holes in her eyes from how much she was glancing to the side. Why is she so chatty all of a sudden? She hates making small talk! She looked at the chocolate and white cat again and noticed that she carried the squirrel rather proudly with a great big smile, like a newly made apprentice would with their first catch, trying to impress their mentor so badly. Just like Fawnstar, once before Fawnpaw, used to do whenever Sunrisepool was around and she just got back from hunting. But she’s never seen the young warrior do something such as. Out of character, really. Maybe she’s proud of her catch? Oh, I get it. She’s just showing off because no one could find a squirrel these days! How typical!

———

After another long walk, the two she-cats returned back to the grotto. Fawnstar instructed Twigfreckle to check if any cat was hungry before she stored the squirrel away into the kill-pile. She was alarmed to see that, while walking away, Twigfreckle looked a little gloomy, possibly because Fawnstar didn’t congratulate her for her catch. The leader wrinkled her nose and turned her head away, looking around the dark cave for a certain cat. Her ears pricked up and swayed behind her, and so as she turned around, she found the cat that she needed to see.

Looking like a mortified lump of dark fur was Dawnburst. He froze in the position of creeping back into camp, seemingly in a way where no cat would detect him lurking by. If Fawnstar were not a cat who was exceptionally talented in identifying blurred details that no other cat could so easily, she would not have noticed him amidst the shaded rocks, but here they are at a standstill, awkward tension rising up.

The ghost tabby stared at Fawnstar without even a twitch of his pelt, as if he were also a rock. “Didja need something?”

The cream tabby stared back. “Maybe not anymore if you already went to check the territory.”

“I did, yeah.” He sprang up, looking like his usual confident self. “Territory looks fine. Our borders look fine. Grounds and everything else is fine.” He flashed a wide smile. “It all looks safe! No Twolegs or big animals in sight!”

Fawnstar glanced down and wrinkled her snout. Dawnburst’s paws were dirtied with some sort of mud and left a print trail behind. “I’d like it if you cleaned yourself up before you came inside.”

His white tipped tail puffed up and his voice went into a sudden panic, looking down at his paws. “Oh, Starclan- I should’ve- I better go do that. Thanks for telling me.”

The tom turned and slumped away, leaving behind the muddy trail. Fawnstar huffed. Better to clean up than track more dirt in here. I’ve already had to clean myself so many times already…

Living in the grotto made Fawnstar feel more and more disappointed about their conditions. Every night was another moment of displeasure and feeling like there were bugs pricking at her pelt. It was better shelter from rain and from larger beasts, but Fawnstar missed the flourishing atmosphere that she once surrounded herself in. Everything around her was bleak. Perhaps both physically and metaphorically, or maybe poetically, if she so thought.

She clicked her tongue—which seemed to clear the thoughts away—and sauntered off further in the grotto. If Dawnburst already checked the territory, and if we already went hunting, then I suppose Riverleaf might want to take his daughter out to train her for the next moon.

“Riverleaf!” The leader called out, her voice trailed with an echo in the cave. “Riverleaf! Resting is over! Time to get up!”

The sun was still high and it would be hours until it began to set, but most cats enjoyed their moments of sleeping. With such a big number backing them, Lushclan cats enjoyed their routine slumber, but now more than ever did they need to work. It was not why Riverleaf decided to sleep in today.

The silver marbled tom trudged out of his nest, but in a second he beamed himself up with energy to work in one big stretch of his lean body. And yet, exhaustion waved in his emerald green eyes. “Weren’t you and Twigfreckle on hunting duty this time?” He yawned.

“We just finished.” She answered. Taking a seat and curling her long tail around her paws, she reminded herself that she needed to display some profession.

Riverleaf scratched his ear while speaking. “Right. I’ll go see about the territory. We’re right next to those Twoleg nests, y’know, and I could’a sworn I caught dog stench one night ago.”

“Dawnburst got to that already.”

“So he snuck out again?”

“…I wish you didn’t say it like that. But yes.”

The tom sat up, swishing his tail. “You need to talk to him about that soon.” He insisted. “It’s been moons now and he must still be getting into ridiculous games with the other clans outside. I don’t trust him.”

Fawnstar took in a sharp breath, hiding the hurt. She’s known Dawnburst ever since they were kits, but she’s known Riverleaf since they were kits the same. She felt like she needed to put a level of trust in both of them, her best warrior and her deputy.

“…He’s a very dependable cat.” She hesitated, trying to find the right words. Eventually, she continued. “The worst thing he could do is give away our weakness.”

“So you’ve thought about him doing that.” He mentioned. “Do you think he will?”

Fawnstar was at a loss for words. “I think he knows he shouldn’t... And besides, he must be coping like we all are.”

“I think he should know that running away to play with the other clans will make our situation worse.” Riverleaf went on. “We’re not apprentices anymore. He can’t keep getting away with that sort of stuff.”

Shocked, the cream marbled tabby blinked at Riverleaf, trying to come up with something to defend her closest friend. Dawnburst can’t be doing something bad. He wouldn’t!

“Well.” She started. “Forget about it. I’ll… I’ll deal with it later.” She swiftly changed her tone to something sincere. “But how are you feeling with… with all of this, Riverleaf? For one thing, I can’t even imagine the uh- the, y’know.”

The tom didn’t respond. He didn’t even make a sound nor any movement, not even a blink, he just stared at her blankly. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” How can he be?

“Yes. I’ve just been more tired than usual.” Pain welled up in his tired eyes. Before she could point it out he turned away and quickly padded off.

“Wait- I get it. You don’t want to- to talk about that right now. That’s okay.” She hurried after him until she was there walking beside him. He avoided eye contact. “But what I was really hoping to ask for is that you take Snowypaw out for a bit. Get her prepared for her assessment next moon.” The tom stopped moving, ears pricked. “She could use the extra training.”

“I’ve tried, and so has she.” He confessed. “We’re both just not feeling up to it these days.”

“What if someone else trained her for you?”

“I already told you.” Riverleaf sounded weary. “She doesn’t want to do anything, she won’t even eat. Ever since the fire she’s been getting nightmares, and it’s been harder doing anything without Echomoon.”

Echomoon… Poor Snowypaw. That was her mother. Fawnstar felt her chest tighten. “I’m- I’m sorry, again, for you and Snowypaw. I don’t-”

“Don’t feel sorry for us.” He snapped. “Please. It makes me feel sad.”

It was those words, in that sorrowful tone, that made Fawnstar realize the exact truth of the matter. She can’t cover her current issues with piles of leaves anymore. And she certainly can’t be as carefree and easygoing as she was mere moons ago, not while her cats were deeply affected by the aftermath as she was. And as leader, it’s up to her to maintain the calm. All of her clanmates were suffering in their own way… And they all have secrets that they’re hiding from her.

———