Save Me: Chapter 25 - Guilty
~Hey guys!ย Chapter 25 is out now :) This is a large chapter, full of justice and prejudice as both Molly and Negan encounter guilt regarding their actions...I hope everyone had a good week and are excited for chapter 26 on Wednesday <3~
Negan finds out why Molly had been acting differently weeks before she left, while Molly realises her family might react differently than she expected when she decides to tell them about Negan. More than one character is found guilty...
People killed walkers from the lower stairs, but they had occupied the entire ground floor.
There was no clear way out.
I sat in the meeting room, my head in my hands when Eugene came in.
'Sir, I believe I may have an answer to our prayers' he said confidently.
I looked up and said 'well...' as I gestured for him to elaborate.
He said he had been working on a motorised paper plane which when attached to an walkman, played music and could be flown over the walkers to draw them away.
I chuckled at his genius.
'You are something else Eugene' I said as I whacked Lucille onto the table enthusiastically.
He flinched at the sound, but smiled when he realised I was pleased with him.
'Alright, Dr Smartypants, get to it' I said ushering him out, now being able to turn my attention to Simon.
I walked down the hallway and checked the status of the walker infestation situation, we were getting through them but it would take a while.
Meanwhile, Rick could be planning more of a shit storm so we had to be prepared.
As I marched, I saw Sherry walking towards me with great intent.
I cocked my head to the side in confusion as she raced over to me.
'Negan, can I have a word?' she asked.
'Can it wait?' I said tiredly.
'No, I'm afraid it can't' she said.
Fuck, it must have been important so I ushered her into the ex-wives room.
I sat down and sighed as I propped Lucille next to me.
'So...' I said impatiently.
She hovered awkwardly in front of me, 'it's about Simon' she said looking down.
I fixed my gaze now on her completely, 'what about the prick?' I said sternly.
She played with her hands nervously, 'well, it's also about Molly' she said quietly, almost so quiet I couldn't hear her.
I leant forward now, interlocking my hands together and resting my elbows on my knees.
I gave her a look as if to say 'carry on'.
She sat down shaking and took a couple of deep breaths before she started on a story which changed my life.
'You might have noticed, that before Molly escaped, she was acting...differently' she said, still avoiding my gaze.
I scowled, already imagining various scenarios involving the love of my life and that spineless piece of shit, Simon.
'She was reserved and didn't want to see anyone...' she said softly, looking down at her feet.
I sighed sadly, 'I remember', now also looking down.
'The...bruises...scars...cuts' she said painfully slowly.
She didn't want to expand further.
I looked up at her now and shook my head, knowing in the back of mind what had happened to her, but I didn't want to admit it.
'Simon raped her' she said with a tear rolling down her cheek.
I stood up immediately at hearing the word.
I breathed heavily, grabbed Lucille and walked over to the window.
There was a table next to me with glass vases on it, and I tightened my grip on Lucille and smashed them all.
Sherry flinched, keeping her eyes shut.
I felt my heart physically breaking, like someone had ripped it out.
How did I not know? Why did I not see that she was hurting?
I whacked my head off the wall and beat my fists against it as I did so.
I now turned to Sherry, 'why did you not fucking tell me sooner?!' I yelled at her.
This time she yelled back as she turned around to look at me.
'She made me promise! she didn't want to hurt you!' she shouted.
My heart broke even further at this.
Molly kept this from me to protect me, me of all people!
She was hurting and she still wanted to shield me!?
Even after I killed her friends, she never said anything. She loved me more than I ever knew and I hurt her.
'That piece of fucking shit!' I shouted as I paced around the room, tugging my fingers through my hair.
'Kill him' she said sternly as she wiped away her tears.
'Do it for Molly' she added through gritted teeth.
I nodded as I swung Lucille around.
'Oh honey I will, believe me. That fucker will meet a very sorry end indeed. But it has to be fitting, the punishment has to fit the crime after all...' I said smirking with vengeance as I threw Lucille over my shoulder.
Sherry looked at me and smirked at Simon finally getting what was coming to him.
'Leave it to me' I said as I was about to walk out.
'Oh and Sherry, thank you for being there for Molly when I wasn't' I added, bowing my head.
She just nodded silently as I left.
I whistled as I walked down the corridor, one hand on Lucille and the other on Molly's locket.
I stood still and kissed the engraving of her name on the back.
'I'm so sorry darlin' I whispered as I held it to my lips.
As much as I tried to feel sorrow for what Molly went through, now rage and vengeance dominated my mind.
I put it back in my pocket and smiled, there was nothing sweeter than planning a death for someone who deserved it.
Even though people talked non stop about not being able to trust Dwight, all I could think was that they couldn't trust me either and wouldn't once they found out.
On many occasions, Maggie and Tara often looked at me suspiciously when I would lose focus and drift off into my own thoughts.
They would usually have to snap me back to the present and when I went off on my own, they looked on and whispered about me.
Tara asked me everyday if I was doing okay. I always nodded with a fake enthusiasm, but in reality I was losing it.
I had recurring nightmares since the Saviour's came that I would be taken back there and Negan would kill me or Simon would... I couldn't even bring myself to think about it again.
I just wanted to cry into Tara's arms and tell her everything, but I couldn't.
They would hate me, my entire family would leave me and then I would have no one.
Maggie watched me for a while without me noticing until she came over to me as I sat by myself on a tree stump and looked out across the fields ahead.
I fiddled with my thumbs nervously and exhaled, closing my eyes.
Maggie walked slowly towards me and asked 'Molly, are you okay?' she said as she bent down to sit next to me.
'Tara doesn't buy that either you know' she said titling her head.
'Is it the Sanctuary? Do you wanna talk about it? I don't mind, I can handle it' she said as she rubbed my back.
I bowed my head into my hands.
'I can't' I said annoyed with myself.
'Molly, it's killing you. I can tell, we all can because we know you and we love you. So, whatever it is, just know that you talk to me anytime' she said stroking my hair.
I looked at her as tears flowed down my face.
'You would hate me' I said reluctantly.
She frowned in confusion now, clearly not knowing how bad it was.
'You're like a sister to me, I love you and I'd do anything to help you. I could never hate you' she said wiping my cheek.
'I just need some time alone' I said as I hugged her goodbye.
She smiled weakly and started to walk back to the house when she turned around, 'whenever you're ready' she said softly.
I nodded back at her and then turned around to continue to look out into the distance.
Part of me found it peaceful to just sit and breathe. But I was also keeping a look out in case the Saviour's came back, more importantly if Negan came.
I didn't sleep a wink that night, I tossed and turned thinking about what I did.ย The guilt was eating me up and soon there would be nothing left of me.
I sighed at my restless state and got out of bed, it was 4:00am.ย The sun would be rising in a couple hours and when it did, I would confess all.
Even if they threw me into that cell for the rest of my days, I didn't care.ย They had to know because I felt like a fraud, an imposter.
I pulled on my jeans and boots and changed my shirt.
It wasn't as hot today so I pulled on my leather jacket and grabbed my knives and gun, slotting them into their holsters ready for what the day would have in store.
I must have gotten lost in my thoughts and paced around the room for hours because the sun was now rising and I heard people moving about downstairs.
Rick and Michonne's room was just down the hall from mine and I paced back and forth many times before I knocked on their door.
But, just as I marched up to the door for the last time, Rick swung the door wide open and got a shock as I stood in the doorway.
'Molly?' he said tucking in his shirt.
I smiled slightly, 'uh, Rick. I need to talk to you' I said looking anywhere but his face.
He just nodded, 'alright' and looked sceptical.
I asked him to follow me and we walked down to the barn.
'Uh huh' I said nervously as I ushered him to sit on a hay bail with me.
I look a deep breath and interlocked my hands to steady myself.
He was worried now, 'everything okay Moll?' he said resting his chin on his knuckle.
'You know me, you're my family and you know that I would never do anything to betray you or the others. But, I didn't tell you everything about what happened at the Sanctuary...' I said, trailing off quietly at the end.
Rick was intrigued now, but remained silent.
'I need to tell you this because it's killing me, everyday. Hiding this from the people I love because I know that when I do...tell you, you will hate me. But I have to do it' I said, my voice shaking and my eyes going cloudy with tears.
'Molly...' Rick started softly.
'No, please Rick. Let me do this' I said hastily.
I continued, still looking down.
'I wasn't just in a cell the entire time I was there. I worked there' I said quietly.
Rick was stunned at this.
'What do you mean you worked there Molly? You were a Saviour?!' he said now standing up and running his hands through his hair.
'No! No, I swore to Negan that I would never be a Saviour. But there were people who needed my help, families, kids, I-' I said almost yelling.
He spun around, a frown across his face.
'Wait, you spoke to him?! Negan?!' he yelled.
'Yes! I just wanted to help people, I didn't go around killing anyone!' I shouted.
'But they did Molly! Glenn. Abraham. Spencer. Olivia. Denise' he said as he counted out the names.
'I know, Rick. But I had no idea about Glenn and Abraham. I didn't even know that they had Daryl! But, Negan gave me a chance, he saved me...' I said softly.
Rick's scowl turned to a sarcastic chuckle.
'You have got to kidding me. Molly, you're not saying what I think you're saying...' he said as he looked at me intently, like I was someone he didn't recognise.
He slumped back down on the hay bail.
'I can't believe this. You were with him? HIM?! After everything he did! He didn't save you, Molly, he destroyed you' he said still yelling.
The tears flowed down my face faster now.
'This isn't you. Who even are you right now?!' he said shouting and standing up to walk out.
'I'm still me!' I yelled as I walked after him.
He turned around, barely able to look at me and said sadly 'you'll get your chance to tell your story to the others'.
Rick had told me to wait in the barn until he called me back into the house for my 'trial'.
It felt like hours had gone by by the time he came back.
He was silent and just led me into the dining room, where Rosita, Maggie, Daryl, Jesus, Michonne and Tara sat waiting.
They knew,ย Rick had told them what I had told him.
They were stunned into silence, Maggie couldn't even look at me.
I sat down where Rick told me to sit and we began.
'Why?' Tara asked, her voice breaking like her heart.
I looked at her, my lip trembling 'I made a decision and I was wrong. But I never once betrayed you' I said confidently.
'How can you sit there and say that?' Rosita said scowling at me.
'I get it, I know what you must think. That I was Negan's whore and that I became a Saviour and went round killing people. But just so you all know, I did everything in my power to protect all of you. If I wasn't there, there would be two less of us right now. He wanted to kill three of us and I got him down to one. He also cut his taking of supplies from Alexandria from 50% to 20%' I shouted.
I stood up now and rested my hands on the table.
'And you know what? He asked me to pick which one of us to kill. I chose Spencer. He was trying to overthrow Rick, he was weak. I won't apologise for that. Maggie, I swear to you, I had no idea about Glenn. Rosita, I didn't know about Abraham. When I found out, I shot Negan, granted it was in the stomach but I still did. I will hate myself forever for being with him. That's all on me. But I wasn't loyal to him, I didn't declare myself 'Negan' like Eugene. I survived that place, but that doesn't mean that I didn't suffer...' I said as they all now looked at me less sternly.
I walked out of the room and walked myself down to the cell.
I heard them arguing as I left the room, Michonne trying to reason with Rick as Rosita yelled at Tara.
I heard nothing from Maggie, she must have hated me more than anyone.
The last thing I heard from outside that room was Rick shouting that he could forgive me eventually, but for Maggie's sake, he could never forget.
I kept the bastard in his cell until it was show time.
That spineless sack of shit didn't even deserve his name anymore.
I slept well that night, with Eugene's plan working, the walkers now not a threat and my plan of vengeance for Molly underway, I was at peace.
I knew she would hate me forever for what I did, but if there was someway that I could give her peace, it was this.
I swung on my jacket, left Lucille in my room and walked down to the main hall with my guys.
There was no one left who was loyal to Simon anymore, he was encircled by us, the true Saviours.
I walked in and people knelt down, parting for me and created a path which led me straight to the traitor himself.
There he stood, more confident than ever, entrapped by us all.
I stood in front of him as a circle formed around us, Dwight and Arat at either side of me.
He rolled up his sleeves and looked into the audience.
'Everyone, after this is done, we get to work. Just know that I didn't want this. But the Sanctuary must stand. This is not the man to prosecute this conflict. Just wanted to say, a grateful enclave thanks you!' he said as he moved towards me and spun around to land a punch to my face.
I dropped instantly, he kept punching me, pulling me back up to stand so he could throw another one.
I stumbled but when he tried to tackle me, I grabbed him and elbowed his back and threw him off me.
He climbed back up and tried to grab at my throat, when I threw a jab at him.
He stumbled backwards and I jabbed him repeatedly.
I grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and headbutted him, flipping him onto his back.
Standing over him, I stamped on his face.
I pinned him down, punching him after every sentence I uttered.
'You went for it all at the Hilltop. You got Saviours killed. You raped my Molly and tried to kill her! You hid away like a dickless worm! You got shown up one too many times. Those people, they are always gonna be looking for a loophole, a way to skate. They are always gonna be looking for that chance to push back, so now I gotta kill all of em just like I'm gonna kill you!' I said as my grip now tightened around his throat.
As I grunted, I squeezed tighter and tighter until his throat popped.
He was dead, but not for long.
I stood up and exhaled, 'what an asshole' I said breathlessly as I walked away.
My guys knew exactly what to do with the body...
I stopped watching after Simon fell onto the floor, I knew it was over after that.
I nodded over to Sherry who snuck out from the crowd and met me behind the steel cabinet.
'You need to go, now' I said softly to her.
'This is your only chance' I said trying not to cry.
'I'm not leaving you' she said holding my face.
She knew I wasn't gonna go with her so she had to hurry.
'I'll find you' I said just as she kissed me.
I handed her a crumpled up letter I wrote for Rick and told her to find him and give it to him.
It was Negan's plan of attack.
She walked slowly out of the side door, no one saw, they were focussed on the fight...
