Atlanta, shit. I’m still only in Atlanta. Every time I think I’m gonna wake up back in the woods. When I first got to Alexandria it was worse. I’d wake up and there would be everyone on the living room floor. When I was here I wanted to be there, when I was there I wanted to be here, never ending. I haven’t said a thing to Rick until I said yes to some canned food.

3:30, 3:30 am. Every time I glanced at Glenn’s pocket watch, it never changed. Stop and think, whether or not you think this was a good idea. Was Alexandria a good place? Maybe it’s like Woodbury. . .Maybe the place might end up like the prison. . .Or maybe the people here were just like the people at Terminus. But for tonight all I decided to do was rest my head on the small, worn bag I have had since the prison.

What felt like an eternity later, I looked back at Glenn’s pocket watch. 3:34, 3:34am. It was never ending. Paranoia, a gut wrenching suspicion this place wasn’t good. Mitchonne, Glenn, Maggie, they all had good feelings about this place. They kept telling themselves this was a good place because they have been holding on for to long, it was time to get settled, they were strong enough if shit hit the fan. Meanwhile Rick, Daryl, and I were all going crazy whether or not we should trust this place. Me and Rick more than Daryl. . .

Every minute I had been here, my brain was always circling back to square one. ‘It was too good to be true’. Before the outbreak it wasn’t even like this. I never had a proper bed to sleep in, always sleeping on the couch or basement of my grandparents house, they were always nice to me, but now they are gone.

I adapted to the new world really easily, never stopped to think in the new world if I shouldn’t pull the trigger when someone else’s finger was also on the trigger, I just did, not even hear their side of the story. To be honest I could be seen as a devil from people outside the group. Cold, stoic, strong, even despite my age. 15 years old, in this world you were adult as soon as you killed the living or dead, at least nowadays. But unfortunately for a curtain someone, their father still thought of him as a baby, not because he was one, but because Rick was scared to lose him.

Carl always sort of resented you for that. You were aloud to do whatever you wanted, at least for things like going out on runs by yourself, or smoking, or drinking, plus being an extremely valued member. You had no parents, and you were too far gone for any one to talk you out of these habits. You always kind of wanted for someone to stop you. Maybe hit the cigarette out of your hand or snatch the bottle of beer and smash it. Carol had tried to do it a few times, but it always ended up with you yelling at Carol and almost everyone getting involved.

First time you ever smoked a cigarette in the new world was when you first got to the prison, covered head to toe in walker blood, ears ringing, head aching. You found a small tin box of rolled cigarettes behind a desk in one of the cells. Next moment you knew, you were in the watch tower, smoking every last one of the rolled cigarettes. Every night since then, you found yourself smoking 2 to 3 cigarettes.

By the time you knew it, it was morning, you were already up and you stayed like that. One of first chances to get real sleep and you blew it, well besides the fact you were laying on the floor. One by one everyone started getting up, maybe searching the pantries for canned food like savages, just like the good old days during winter when you went out on runs when everyone was starving.

Around 8:00, 8:00am, you locked yourself in a room that didn’t have any flooring or any drywall on the second floor, the plywood was dry and dusty. Looking back at it, it might have calmed you, knowing a unkept life, a life filled with fear for so long, then being exposed to such a lavish life was overwhelming, like a dream you couldn’t wake up from. It was too good to be true.

A little after the small meltdown you had, you crept back downstairs. It was quiet, soft and homey, you hated it. The reflex of reaching for your weapon well searching through a new area consumed you, unfortunately the only two guns you had—two pretty matching revolvers with a white handle was confiscated by Deanna and her crew, it brought you back to when you took weapons from new comer’s at the prison, except Deanna’s crew was much more nicer about it.

Well peeking into the kitchen, you saw Rick, he was getting a haircut by some woman who you didn’t recognize. Once Rick noticed you, you all paused, and the lady was the first to talk. “Oh, hello! Who is this Rick?” Her voice was very repetitive, like she didn’t understand what world we lived in. “This is,-” Rick said your name loud enough for you to snap out of your trance, this wasn’t real, this wasn’t real it was to human, “She’s apart of our group” to filled with life. “Nice to meet you, young lady, I’m Jessie. I live on the corner.” Damn you, Jessie, so sweet yet so oblivious. She talked to you like a child.

Your face stayed emotionless, not really bating an eye when she let out her hand to shake yours, when you didn’t hold your hand out to shake hers, she awkwardly retracted her hand. “I didn’t know you had another kid Ron’s age in your group, Rick.” Jessie awkwardly chuckled, slowly going back to cutting his hair.

You sort of zoned out well the two were talking, before you knew it, you were following behind Rick as he lead Jessie out the door once she was done cutting his hair, the two of you watched Jessie walk down the street, Rick felt his hair through his fingers, flopping down on the porch chair. “So, you’re just gonna sit around and pretend this place is safe now?” You said barely above whisper, as Jessie was still in earshot. Rick sighed. “It’s not about pretending, y/n. We need a moment to breathe.…” Rick glanced over to you, with the look he always has on his face. “Breathe? Do ya’ think the dead care we’re relaxed? Ya’ think they will stop by you getting a haircut?” “It’s not just the haircut, It’s about trying to find normalcy.”

You let out a long and loud sigh, slightly understanding where he comes from. “Normalcy? ” Rick sighed at your words, but you let out a sarcastic laugh. “You think normalcy will save us? Look, I get it—this place looks nice, but nice ain’t mean safe.”

Rick got a bit more serious when he realized you ain’t letting this go. “I know it doesn’t, y/n. But we can’t live in fear and paranoia the rest of our lives.” “You say that, sheriff, but you ain’t the one to see your entire family eaten and get turned the day the world went to hell.” You’d step a little closer before Rick stood up, standing over you. “No, I didn’t, but I too have lost people. We all have.” All you did was scoff in Rick’s face. “Yeah, but you’ve got Carl, Judith, this place. You’re already wrapped up in this place, I’m not. I can’t trust it.”

You got a long flash back of the day you got separated from everyone at the prison. You walked one day and one night and ended up in a brothal that was still some how running. They traded in guns, canned food, gas, anything for a night with one of brothal workers or a hotel room. The night you traded in the last bit of your ammo for one hotel room, and unknowingly one of the male security tried to take advanced of you, luckily you got away, and Rick was the only one you told. Rick’s attitude softened. “L-Look I get that. But, kid, we can’t let paranoia take over. Yes we need to keep an eye out, I understand, but also-” You quickly cut off Rick, pointing a finger at him to shut up.

“But what? Let our guard down? Enjoy the view?” All you did was give Rick a sarcastic confused look, which made him sigh. “No. Keep our guard up while still living, kid.” Rick always had a plan, a good plan. That’s the guy he was. “Easy for you to say. You’ve got a plan. A family, a real reason to live. I’m just. . .me.” The two of you stayed quiet for a bit as you sat down on the porch steps, Rick still lingering behind you. “You’re more than just you, kid. You’re apart of this family. Your instincts are sharp. I need that. We need that.” Despite you having your back facing Rick, you could still tell he had that stupid grin on his face. “I. . .I just don’t want to end up. . .like them. . .like my parents.” By the time you were like this in an argument, you would have your face buried in your father’s old hat he always wore to rodeos, but you lost it after the prison.

“And you won’t. We’ll watch each other’s backs, Just promise me you’ll let me know when you feel something’s off.” Rick rested his hand on your shoulder before heading back inside the house. You stoped him before he opened the door. “Fine. But if I say jump, you better ask how high.” You finally faced towards Rick, who also turned around as you spoke. “Deal.” He chuckled before heading back inside.

Ever since the prison, days blended together, hours blended together. One moment you could be playing with Judith, the next you are getting mad at Rick or Daryl, like you couldn’t fill the gaps. This time you found yourself getting ready to go for a walk with Judith and Carl. The community was a nice place to walk, you never had to worry about anything, didn’t have to carry a gun. Even at the prison you had to carry a gun, but it never was a calm and peaceful walk, probably because all you were doing was walking cell block to cell block.

“Deanna was nice enough to get us a stroller, it’s a nice stroller. . .” Carl chuckled before placing Judith in the stroller. You never liked holding Judith, to full of life, she shouldn’t have to be born in such a cruel world. “Don’t you think it’s weird. I don’t know, maybe a trap. . ?” There was a wave of silence, it seemed Carl was thinking over your words. “A trap…? This place is safe y/n. We’ve got walls, we’ve got more people looking out for us.” Carl turned around, an eyebrow raised with a bit of confusion plastered on his face. “Safe? You really think that? You trust them because they smile?” You pointed out at a few of the other Alexandria’s that were off in the distance, who were smiling and laughing, “While smiling or not, we’ve had worse places. Before this we were surviving off dogs and worms. This is a step up.” It was never ending, it was a hard to believe, but it was better than out there. . .

“Step up? More like step up from a different thing to be scared of.” You were not really looking at Carl as the two of you talked, which was a bit difficult for him. “You’re just being paranoid, y/n. Not everything and everyone is a threat.” Carl stoped pushing Judith in her stroller, which caused her to whine, but Carl was to deep in with talking to you and your stubbornness. “And not everything is sunshines and fucking rainbows, kiddo. You don’t get it!” You turned around as soon as Carl stoped. Carl was a bit taken a back by your tone in voice, the two of you never really gotten along due to the fact you were treated differently by the group, more mature and treated like an adult, even though you two were the same age.

“I do get it! I lost my mom too, remember?” Carl’s words made you soften a bit, you weren’t a monster but you weren’t all human either. “Yeah, you did. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore your instincts!-” You were cut off by the sound of an old lady gasping, a few elders were sitting on a porch, they must have heard Judith crying in the stroller. “Oh my god! Is that a baby?” Wrinkly smiles were plaster all over the old hags faces, you glanced at the old woman and then back at Carl. “I’ll see you later, Grimes boy…” You bumped Carl in the shoulder as you walked off.

Like always the hours blended together, it was confusing. You didn’t know what you did when the hours blended together, but you were outside of the walls of Alexandria, you hope you told people you left. But you did have your two revolvers back, placed in the holsters on your hips, with a heavy backpack that was worn.

After 30 minutes of walking you found a parked car on the side of the road, it was a red truck. A bit beat up but still looked useable. You peaked through the windows, checking to see if anyone or anything was in it. While slowly opening the car door an owl was sitting on the seat, its head turned a full 180 degrees, peering its big beady eyes at you. As you slowly pulled your knife out of its sheath, the owl came and charged towards you, but before it could attack, you pushed the knife into its head, and slamming it against the seat.

While you waked around the truck, the owls blood dripped down leaving a trail. Surprisingly the car still worked, and had a little over half a tank. You threw the now dead owl on the floor of the passenger seat. After driving a good 10 minutes, you saw a farm. It was obviously abandoned, at least that’s what you hoped.

When searching the property, it represented past life, old kids toys filled a nursery, rotting food on the dining table, and decomposing bodies. An old man’s body swung side to side, but all he was now was a walker, along with two young girls underneath the hanging man. He hung himself instead of facing the new world. Its dead bodies weak, most likely not eating enough living made them weak. With a flashlight on one hand and knife it the other, you killed the two walker girls, but not the dead man, he deserved to hang up there after most likely killing the girls. Dumb bastard.

When raiding the home, you just kept finding more and more weak walkers. With no mercy, you kept them all alive, but you killed what seemed to be all kids.

After what felt like an hour, you finished the sweep. A large property and plus it only being you, it took way longer than with a group. It seemed to be around mid afternoon when you were done. By the time you hit the road you were going over what you got in your head, it was a decent sweep. Clean clothes, new boots now your old ones are to worn, and on your way out you found some old lady’s cigarette stash, a small bag of weed, a few jars of moonshine, and obviously some stuff to give to the gang.

It was around 6:30, 6:30pm, when you got back to Alexandria. If you were right about the month, it was spring so the sun was already setting. You never really realized the golds and blues in the sky from sunsets until now. You stuck your head out of the window, looking up at Sasha who was on watch duty. These people were really lost before you and the group showed up, damn people didn’t even have a watch.

“Well, well, well. Look who’s back, glad you showed up, kid.” Sasha had a shit-eating grin on her face, dispite her spiralling in her own world, she still liked your company. You waved at her out the window of the truck. Sasha hollered for Arron to call over a few others, and help out with you and the stuff you scavenged. Cars weren’t aloud inside the walls of Alexandria for god knows why, so you parked it outside the was next to the other vehicles. The car jerked a few times due to the fact you weren’t the best at driving yet, sure you could go at an even pace, but due to the fact Daryl taught you how to drive a manual car, he ain’t all that good at explaining things. . .

The gates slowly opened as Arron, Rick, Abraham, Spencer, and Nicholas came out to help. A few people peaked through the gates as they saw you pull up. “Well, look who decided to bring back the whole world.” Rick chuckled well looking in the back of the truck that had a few bags filled with stuff. “Just doing my part. . .Cant let my pristine skills go to waste.” “You know, kid. You can’t just leave without telling anyone.” Crap. Seems like you didn’t tell anyone. “Well I ain’t a kid, Rick. I can handle myself just fine.” You struggled your shoulders, leaning against the truck while lighting a cigarette. “Should have seen me before I joined your group. I was highballing across every damn state all by myself.” You let out a cocky laugh, still thinking about the times before you had all these people looking out for you.

“I know you can handle yourself better than any of these people, y/n. But it’s dangerous out there.” Rick spoke in the stupid soft and hussy voice. “Well I didn’t see any walkers. . .I just raided a farm then left on out of there.” You lied with a straight face, yeah you saw walkers but they were weak. “Sure, but you should have told me at least.” Rick motioned to himself. “And what? So you could ground me for going out on a drive? I’m not Carl, Rick.” You sounded more defensive with your words, standing up straight. “You’re right, kid. You’re way more stubborn.” Rick smirked as he turned around to help the others unload the truck. “You’re goddamn right, Grimes.” From the corner of your eye you saw Deanna walking towards you from the gates. “Rick, can we talk for a second?” You turned around to see Deanna standing behind Rick.

“Sure, Deanna. What’s up?” Rick turned his head around to face Deanna. All these people still didn’t understand how this new world worked, and it irked you down to the core. “I’m concerned. . .About the young lady going out on her own. Yes, she is strong. But Rick she’s still a teenager.” “I get that Deanna, but y/n proved herself a very long time ago, and she still brings in more than any of us, and this is one of the many time she has proven herself.” Rick has always put his trust in you, more times than you could count. You have been a valuable member of the group since the day you joined, you’ve earned your spot. “Proving herself doesn’t mean she’s invincible. We have systems for supply runners, and her just running off just isn’t the way we do things around here Rick. We need to protect our young.” Deanna may be the leader now, but she hasn’t seen the new world in all its glory, but all of you have.

Deanna glanced over towards you who looked bitterly at her, the smoke from your cigarette danced in the wind after you exhaled. “Listen lady, I can protect myself against anything. If you have systems for these supply runners, then put me on the list of supply runners. You need real people on these jobs, not these scumbags.” You pointed to Nicholas who was walking back to the gate, and he gave a confused and offended look. You ignored Nicholas who gave you an offended scoff. “That’s-That’s a good idea. y/n has been doing supply runs and providing for our group with Glenn and Daryl since the day we met her. She’s worthy.” Rick got between you and Deanna, sort of separating you two.

The wave of silence was loud, Deanna thinking for a moment, glancing between you and Rick. “I’m sorry. But y/n is a child. We can’t have a child in danger, and providing for the community. I can find her a different job, but scavenging, no.” Deanna was obviously looking out for you, but it wasn’t like you weren’t worthy, these people needed someone like you. You scoffed, giving Deanna a dirty look, then grabbing the things you found for yourself and storming off. While walking through the gates, you looked back and saw Deanna and Rick arguing calmly, not really taking each other seriously by their body language.

9:30, 9:30am. It was the next day and surprisingly you had some decent sleep. Rick Finally decided to let everyone sleep in their own beds and decided on who gets which house. It was split up into two houses obviously, and you stayed in Daryl’s house. Yeah, he slept in the garage but you all still referenced to the house you stayed in as Daryl’s house. It was very weird living such a ‘normal’ life. You’ve all referred to each other as family but now it actually felt like a real family. Despite you living right next door to the others, you felt really far away from them.

You got a room right next to Carol, who has always made you feel safe, you know who she is. The room you got was pretty obvious it was a teenage boys room. There was band posters, weird retro movies cds, bigger clothes that you couldn’t really steal since you practically swam in it. Last night when sorting out the bed plan, everyone else avoid this room so, you were the last to pick.

You found yourself sitting on the stairs of the main hallway. Carol was making breakfast out of whatever she could find, it didn’t smell half bad but you weren’t hungry—last night you ate the entire owl you killed when you were outside the walls. It was almost 10 by the time you heard a knock at the door, the noise made you jump, but you quickly got up. When peaking through the window you saw Deanna. Jesus Christ, not this bitch again. You softly swung the door open, the door knob hit against wall which created a small thud. You sort of stood there. Deanna was holding a clip board in one hands and a large purse resting on her shoulder. “Hello. I’m sorry if I woke you.” After the small argument between Deanna and you, she was obviously avoiding you, maybe because you were a teenager who was ruthless with her words.

“What do ya’ want, woman.” Your face was a bit more emotionless than usual, it was easy to talk to people when they didn’t know how you felt. “I was hoping you would be the one to answer the door. Do you have the time to speak?” “Ever since I’ve got here I have all the time in the damn world. . .” You walked away leaving the door open to basically signalling to Deanna the she could come in. “Why do you need to speak with me all of a sudden, you were avoiding me like I was a tax collector all evening yesterday.” You sat on the couch with Deanna awkwardly following behind you, letting out a soft and awkward chuckle. “Well I was hoping I could talk to you.” You sort of stayed quiet, Deanna sat across from you, placing her purse on the coffee table, taking out a camera.

“Can I film our talk?” Another wave of silence followed, before you finally opened your mouth. “Why film, is this some sort of interrogation?” You looked at Deanna with a bit of skepticism, not knowing what she was doing. She started setting up the camera behind her, pressing a button as it began to record. “Not an interrogation, just a conversation. I want to know more about you, you are far different from the others in your group, I just want to know about your life before and after the outbreak. To see what made you like this.” “Well I don’t need no damn therapist if that’s what yer’ thinkin’.” Deanna chuckled as if you were joking around, like your face wasn’t giving an indicators you didn’t want to be here. You lit up a cigarette, Carol hated when you smoked inside, at the prison she would pull you by the ear and toss you out of the cell block.

“Watch out for Carol, she don’t like me smoking inside.” Deanna just looked at you, it seems she already had you down.

“Well, nothing like that. Let’s start before everything happened. What was your life before everything?” “It was. . .normal. If you call having a father who beat you and a mom who hated you normal, then yeah it was normal. 12 going on 13. Didn’t go to school much.” It was hard to keep eye contact well talking about such a past, thinking and pondering about how it was. It wasn’t nice but it was better than this. “And where are your parents now?” “My parents were both drunk on the day everything went to shit. We were at a some rodeo watching my aunt barrel race. Walkers came in eating anything human.” You’ve never spoke or thought about that first day since it happened, until now.

“I’m so sorry.” Deanna had a bit of empathy in her voice, that was sure clear. “It must’ve been really hard on you. How did you survive for so long before you joined Rick’s group?” Deanna tilted her head to try look at your face better, hoping you could look at her. “It was a blur after that. 2 weeks into the outbreak I joined some Indians they cared for me after I got attacked by some very bad people. I left them because I wasn’t a right fit.” It has been hard to share your story, but you are here now. “But even then I stayed by myself for another month. I scavenge for miles and miles. Found a wild horse and it took me from Dallas to Atlanta.” Deanna smiled, but still had a hint of pity and sorrow in her face. “That is beautiful. I take it your family was either farmers or southern folks?” Deanna looked down at your boots, western spurs at the heels of em’, and a new hat you found on your own little run yesterday, then back at your burning cigarette that puffed out smoke.

“My father sulked around rodeos, my mother a farmers hand, my grandparents ranchers, and my uncles and aunties were either horse trainers or cattlemen.” Deanna looked at you impressed and a hint of surprise. “Wow, the more and more I find out about you the closer I am to finding a job for you.” You gave Deanna look of amusement. Your family gave you a life’s time worth of knowledge about the professions they all did, and a lot of chores. “Well I promise you as long as you have me a movin’, I won’t complain.” You have her a shit eating grin, knowing your skills will probably be valuable to Alexandria.

Deanna shifted the subject, finally getting an understanding why you were the way you were. “So, what do you think of Alexandria? Find any new friends?” You grew awkward, you haven’t said much of a thing to the people outside Rick’s group. “Well it’s. . .nice. Better than outside these walls, i’m only staying here for the baby and my family.” It true, but also you couldn’t stand being out there one more day. “And I don’t wanna be buddy buddy with everybody here. I’m not entirely sure I want to trust everyone here yet.” That was also sure, but it’s hard for you to talk to new people. “I understand that, y/n. But it is important to find balance. You can’t always be on guard.” “I don’t want to be treated like i’m fragile. I can handle myself” You got more defensive. Deanna clearly figured you out, so she wasn’t phased by you anymore.

“I can see that now. You’re one of the strongest out of Rick’s group. But even the strongest need support.” Deanna was right, but knowing you need help after supporting yourself for so long was hard to accept. “I know, but. . .I don’t want to be coddled.” “Fair enough, but please y/n. Don’t strain away from your heard, we can’t loose a member like you.” Deanna gave you a soft smile, “Maybe I can get use to a place like this. Eventually.” you exchanged a very faint smile back to her, finally looking at her in the eyes. “We can only hope.”

After the interview with Deanna, you were finally assigned a job. Arron told you none of the other teenagers had jobs assigned by the community, but due to the fact you were a person who always needs to be moving, you were given a job. Not to mention with you having such good knowledge on ranch work, you were given the job of the rancher. There is an abounded farm that is about a 10 minute walk outside of Alexandria, and after the outbreak all the animals from that farm were let out, and have been roaming outside Alexandria ever since. Arron said all the farm animals have stretched out about 10 miles around Alexandria, and he has been trying to track a curtain horse for months. But Arron has no experience with horses, so he has had no luck.

You were tracking a Tennessee walking horse all afternoon, and luckily, bribing with some treats, you got it. You were able to find a saddle, and you rode it back to Alexandria. This horse would be good to track other animals for long periods of time. When riding back you saw a few other wild horses like a few quarters horses and appaloosas. You would be able to track them down in a only few days, not to mention any other wild farm animals like chickens or cattle that you could herd for milk, meat, and eggs, but that could be for a different day.

By the time you were back at Alexandria, it was late afternoon, and everyone was clearly busy. Rick and Mitchonne were assigned by Deanna as constables, which was weird to see once again. Rick was still wearing his sheriffs uniform the first time you met him, it was brief but you always saw him as a sheriff. With you being the rancher of Alexandria, you had to have some sort of uniform for it to be known you were working, so you had to wear your hat more.

A few of the smaller kids gathered around when you walked into the gates of Alexandria with the new horse you got on a lead. “Whoa!! Is that your horse y/n?” Sam was Jessie’s son, he was excited, real excited. You’ve never seen a kid so happy before. Sure you haven’t really talked to anyone outside the group but you have been helping around the community by doing physical labor, the younger kids think you’re real strong, and look up to you.

“Yeah, she’s. . .Something.” While glancing back at the horse then back at the kids, the gate slammed shut behind you. Arron seemed giddy about you getting a horse, like he said—‘I’ve been tracking a few horses for months’. “y/n! Thank you so much for finding this one! Like I told you i’ve-” “Yeah, yeah. I heard the story. Yer’ lucky you finally have someone who is good with these things. With you doing these things. . .It’s like a dog chasing its tail.” You cut Arron off, he’s told the same story a few times and you already heard enough of it.

“Can I touch her?” You turned around to see Sam inching his hands closer and closer to the horse. The horse must be pretty desensitized after most likely having walkers all around it for an over 2 years now, so you figured it would be fine. “Uhh. . .Go ahead kid. Be gentle.” Max grew a big smile once you have him the okay to touch the horse. The other kids stood back, keeping a distance from the horse. But as soon as Sam placed his hand on the horse, it reared on its hind legs and bolted down the street. In the process it scared Sam and knocked him on his rear. “Shit! Goddamn it- A-Are you alright Sam!- Arron make sure Sam is alright! I need me to catch a damn horse!”

A few of the Alexandrian’s who were on walking in the streets or sitting on their porches, either watching in horror or laughing their asses off. It was easy to track the horse down since its hooves clopped on the pavement. The horse went straight down the street and went into the Andersons yard, but you quickly trailed behind it. On the side of the Anderson’s house was a small ally, then in the back of the house was another ally which lead back to the street. By the time you were in the ally, you heard a loud bang. For a second you thought it might have been the damn horse who bumped into something, but no. The loud bang came from inside the house—The Anderson’s house. The sound was loud and you could hear some commotion.

You thought it was your imagination, but no. It was Jessie screaming something. “No! Stop it! You’re hurting him!” Jessie sounded scared, frightened. Their house had a lookout basement so the main floor was slightly higher up. You stood on a storage box to take a peak inside. Through the window you saw the living room, and across the room was the kitchen, and you saw Jessie screaming at her husband. Your eyes bolted to the ground when from the corner of your eye you saw Ron on the floor getting kicked by his father. Once Jessie was able to pull Pete off of Ron, Pete started hitting Jessie. After a few hits Pete walked away with a beer bottle in hand.

You have seen abuse all your life, even after the outbreak you heard about Carol and her late husband. But Jessie and her family were different, maybe they were so oblivious to the new world, it kinda seemed like they were stuck in the old world—A hard working mom, two sons, and a alcoholic dad who beat on his said kids and wife. It reminded you of your father and mother—but Jessie cared about her kids and your mom couldn’t have gave a shit about you. After witnessing all this you sort of stared at Jessie comforting her son on the floor—but quickly getting pulled away for your trance.

You heard some commotion from the street. By the time you got into the main street you saw Rick trying to calming down the horse you completely forgot about, along with Arron and Daryl trying to get a lead or something around her. “Shit! Ya’ found the damn parasite didn’t ya’!” You let out a loud humorous and childish laugh between all the chaos. “Yeah, I did! Now will you help us out?!”

After a very long session of chasing the horse around all over Alexandria with Rick, Daryl and Arron, you finally got a lead on it and hitched it on a recently made hitching post Abraham made next to the church. You and Rick sat on the back steps of the church trying to catch your breath. It was around 6:30, 6:30pm by the time you two were done chasing the damn horse. The thought of what happed at the Anderson’s house popped back into your head. “Hey Rick. . .”Your voice was still shaky while trying to catch your breath. He did a low grunt, acknowledging your words. “Can I tell you something as long as you don’t act on it.” “How do you mean?” You awkwardly sighed, not sure how to get your words out right. “Well ya’ know. . .Ever since I met you, you’ve always had the sort of hero complex, and you’ve always acted when something was wrong.”

Rick chuckled, taking into consideration of your words. “If ya’ say so. What’s on your mind?” Rick turned around towards you, the sunset created a soft warm glow throughout Alexandria, something you’ve noticed recently. You had a heavy heart for Jessie now, you knew what it was like. “Have you seen the way Pete acts with Jessie. . .I mean-” With my words, Rick quickly whipped away his smile, the smile he had when he chuckled in between a conversation.

“I knew it. What did you see?” Rick’s word almost seemed like he was interrogating you. “You knew? And you didn’t have the balls to say shit?” “It was a suspicion, alright. Let me ask you again. What did ya’ see?” You scoffed at Rick’s words, it was kind of annoying how he was always right. “Well. . .I was chasing the horse, heard something from the Anderson house and peaked through the window. That’s when I saw it.” “Saw what.” All this talk of things like this brought you back to the time your father knocked your mother out cold and beat you black and blue. “Jesus Christ, Rick. We can’t act all hero, and swish in and save someone when something like this happens. What will we do anyway with Pete. Huh?” Rick sort of stared at you, he was standing up with his hands on his hips by the time you asked, he did the thing he always does, slightly tilt his head, having that look. “I’ll have to kill him.”

It felt like it finally stopped, yet it happened again. The hours blended together, and this time you found yourself walking on the streets of Alexandria. You were walking with Michonne, Tera, Rosita, and Carol to what seemed to be Deanna’s house, one of the only houses that had its lights on. It was night now but it was clearly the same day from the last things you remembered. It seemed to be a party going on at Deanna’s house. You heard a few times from Maggie there will be a house warming party at Deann’s house, for all you new arrivals.

You weren’t wearing your hat, but you felt more clean, you must have had a shower. Along with a fresh set of clothes. A short white dress and some black shorts under them, and a brown bomber jacket, your shoe spurs clinking as you walked on the road. While putting a lot of thought into what Rick said about killing Pete, Jessie broke you out of your mind. You were inside of Deanna’s house now, all that thinking made you forget where you were. “Oh hi, y/n! I’m glad you came! You look beautiful, love that dress on you.” Jessie had a bright smile on her face, as if her husband didn’t put his hands on her a few hours ago. “O-Oh hey. Uhm yeah, I wasn’t planning on coming but I heard thee would be booze here.” That was probably a really dumb thing to say, she kind of looked at you a bit dumbfounded and confused—she probably didn’t know you didn’t have any one who had any say on what you did.

“And thank you, you look very nice as well.” The words came out a bit jittery. “I-I’m gonna to go get a drink.” In the corner of your eye you saw the table with all the drinks. You pulled up a few of the bottles to see what drinks they hand, and you ended up just taking an entire bottle of vodka. While walking to the backdoor and ditching the party, Mrs. Niedermeyer came up to you. “Hey young lady, I don’t think you’re aloud that-” “Shut the fuck up, Shelly.” You bumped her in the shoulder before walking to the back porch, slumping down on the edge of the steps.

While lighting a cigarette you heard the door opening behind you, as it opened the sounds of a recorded player, people talking, and laughter poured out. You didn’t mind to even turn around to see who it was. Soft thuds again the wooden planks slowly creeping up. It was a girl, around your age, pretty with long brown hair. “Mind if I join?” Her voice was young and soft, but through her voice you could tell she knew what the new world was like. “Free porch, be my guest.” It’s always been you and Carl almost since the beginning, so talking to someone your age for a change was weird, you didn’t know how to act. “I’m Enid. I’ve seen you around.” There was a wave of silence. “y/n.” You said back to her, taking another long drag, and a swig of vodka.

“Is that. . ?” Enid pointed to the very large bottle of Absolut Vodka. “Yeah, want some?” Enid looked a bit unsure, “Why not. I’ve tried to snag a few bottles of beer but i’ve always been caught by Olivia. . .” Enid let out a small grin on her face, using both hands to hold up the bottle. Her face contorted, feeling the burn in the back of her throat. “Oh yeah, feel the burn.” You grinned softly, taking back the bottle and letting puffing out smoke. “Good to try new things, even if it ain’t gonna have a good outcome.” The two of you giggled, it was weird having a girl your age to now talk to, sure there was Beth before all this, but she was bit older and wasn’t like you at all.

“So what made you leave the party?” “Never been a party person, to much people pretending everything is alright. It’s not, never will be anymore.” Enid was right, she had the same mindset as you. “Same here, everyone here is so fuckin’ boring and oblivious.” “Seems you’ve been outside awhile before this.” Enid faced towards you. With the music a bit muffled out it was less overwhelming, easier to think, especially with a cigarette in your hand and alcohol in your system. “Yeah, since the beginning. Came from Dallas and that’s when I met Rick’s group.” “You’re a long way from home.” Enid was easy to talk to, has the same beliefs and mindset, at least as far as the eye could see.

“Was never much of a home person, gets repetitive after staying the same for so long. With home things stay the same for a good amount of time, in the new world everything is always moving, can’t stop.” The alcohol was just letting words flow out, you were never the talkative type. “I agree, but I miss my family though, what was your family like.” Enid played with her shoelaces with her knees pressed up against her chest. “God don’t get me stared. Glad to say they’re gone. The world didn’t miss them when they left, didn’t lose that much either.” You scoffed, you have always resented your parents, but thinking about it now, you’ve never hated them this much.

Enid smirked, she was always sort of emotionless every time you passed her one the street, or just saw her roaming around. “You really don’t care what others think. Do you?” “No really, why should I?” You took another long drag of your cigarette, puffing the smoke away from Enid, not wanting to be rude, she watched you, a silly smirk on her face. “I like that.” A smile from Enid seemed genuine, but before you knew it, she took away the cigarette, taking a drag, as if she wasn’t savouring the tobacco that filled her lungs.

“Take it you don’t like the spotlight either. . .huh?” Your words were barely above a whisper, but only loud enough for Enid. “Not at all, I prefer quiet.” That was understandable, compared to all the chaos the world had to offer nowadays. “Then why come here?” A small moment of silence filled the air, like there wasn’t people having loud conversations inside the house, and jazz pouring out of every window. “I was hoping it would be different, maybe i’d find someone interesting.” Enid looked up at the star filled sky. “Ya’ found me didn’t ya’?” The two of you paused, cracking up in giggles after the break.

It was weird being so normal, you’ve never been so normal since the day shit hit the fan. You and Enid were sipping on the vodka like your lives depended on it, giggling at every little things, still only tipsy. The two of you decided to ditch this party and do something else. It was around 9:30, 9:30pm. The night was still young, but the town was quite due to the fact almost everyone was at that party. Walking over near the pond was peaceful, it was a decent size, way bigger than a pool. It felt like you and Enid have known each other for years, but that’s just the alcohol loosening you both up. On the other side of the pond near the trees, you saw Carl, along with the Anderson boy, and another boy you didn’t know.

The walk towards them felt like it took forever. “Hey, where have you two been? Didn’t see you at the party.” Carl looked up at you and Enid, your arm warped around hers. “Well I could say the same things about you, Grimes.” You were close to slurring your words giggling between sentences. “Who are these little boys anyway. . .yer’ goddamn dogs, Grimes. . .?” The last bit made Enid giggle, she told you about the few times she went over the wall, and Carl following her, a bit creepy, even Eugene wouldn’t be that weird. “You look a bit. . .Drunk.” The boy with the black hair said in a hushed tone, still loud enough and giggling with a small smirk forming at the corners of her mouth.

“Don’t worry, BOYO. I’m just getting a started.” You started slurring your words, the bottle lazily in your hands, it felt heavy despite you being strong enough to fight off a walker with your bare hands, it was the alcohol making you feel heavy. “Enid. . .Are you drunk too?” Ron looked a bit concerned and taken aback, but all Enid did was smile and giggle. “Oh god forbid I wanna have fun. . .Ugh this whole fuckin’ town is so boring.” Enid strained away from your grasp, looking up at the sky and kinda spinning and pacing in circles. “And who are you anyway? Who are you getting my girlfriend drunk?” “Alright, Ron. Let’s calm down. Let the girls have some fun. . .” The black-headed boy stood between you and Ron.

“I’m, y/n, you little crock of shit. You better watch who you’re takin’ too.” You didn’t think of what you said anymore, the alcohol making your emotions go wild. “That’s enough, enough out of both of you!” Carl came from behind you behind, pulling you by your waist and pulling you away from Ron. “Get off me!” “Mikey keep Ron out of y/n’s sight! Look I get it, y/n. We all want some freedom, but doing this ain’t gonna help with your freedom. I want freedom too but this is not how you do it.” You scoffed at Carls words, a cocky smirk plastered all over your face. You got real close and personal with Carl. “You want your freedom, you earn it. Let’s have some fun, Grimes.”

The hours blended together, but with all the alcohol in your system it was hard to keep track. One moment you were pure-pressuring Mikey to try and take big swig of the vodka, eventually forcing it down his throat by pinning him down and talking him through and baby talking him the absolute agony of the burning sensation of the vodka running down his throat. Then soon following with Ron almost spitting all the vodka on Carl, making you all burst out laughing.

The next moment you were all sitting on the back steps of the church waiting for the alcohol to hit the boy’s system’s, you heard some ruckus from the church, while peaking through the windows you all saw Father Gabriel and Sasha practically fist fighting, Father Gabriel running away from Sasha with his tail between his legs. You all burst out laughing, not taking it seriously due to the fact it was slowly taking you all over. But Father Gabriel and Sasha almost spotted you all which ended up with you guys bolting down the street.

The next moment was you all sitting around the pond, giggling and slurring your words, and probably making the most outrageous and embarrassing jokes about each other, the alcohol finally loosing your brains up.

Before you knew it you were all swimming in the pond. . .With clothes and all, unable to realize what you all were doing was dumb and will get you all in a lot of trouble. While doing laps in the pond, you heard a old man shouting from across the pond. “Goddamn it! You kids get out of that damn pond!” You all jumped, quickly swimming out like your lives depended on it, trying to hide your guys faces from him, praying he won’t tell Deanna or someone.

12:30, 12:30am, it was 30 minutes past midnight, and the 5 of you have been running around Alexandria for the past few hours, still drunk out of your minds. A few times you were almost and likely spotted by people, but all somehow quickly ran away. Sasha was on watch dirty as usual, she saw you all swaying around under the streetlights, but she was unbothered, there was other stuff to worry about instead of drunk teenagers. The 5 of you were still soaking wet and cold from the pond, and possibly went back to go for a few more dips. The vodka was running low, and everyone was slurring their words as you all fought on who got the last bit of it.

Five of you were sitting in some large flower beds, that was in a big backyard of one of the residents houses. “Oh come on, don’t be cheap with me now. . .” Enid whined as you held the bottle in the air, trying to keep it away from the others. “If you give me it, i’ll do you a solid.” Carl was trying to reach over and take it away from you, but all you did was yank your hand away with the bottle, inching his face closer to yours, which caused Carl to blush heavily even though his face was already red from the effects of the alcohol. “You ain’t got nothin’ on me. . .Grimes-” You felt the bottle from your hand get yanked away, even though your hand was barely hanging onto it, the alcohol making you unable to control your grip.

“Come onnnnnnnn. . .” Ron was kinda swaying side to side. opening the bottle and chugging the last bit, he was too out of it to care or recognize the fact his throat was burning. The four of you all began to jokingly hit Ron on the shoulder or back of the head, a bit annoyed by the fact that he drank the last bit of liquid courage.

It was already 1:00, 1:00am, time was flying by with all of you basically half ‘dead’. The sky was filled with stars, if you really wanted to you could have laid in the flower beds forever and counted all of them. Different types of shadows stretched on the ground, either dancing or creating deep and beautiful shadows. Mikey has his head laid on your stomach as you playing with his cold and damp hair, Enid was in her own world, staying quiet and humming soft melodies, while Ron and Carl were piking flowers from the flower beds. Then—pssshhhkk. A sudden burst of water started spraying you guys and the air, making you all jump from your daze.

It took you all a minute to realize what was happening, Enid shrieked at the sudden cold water spraying her, a part-laugh and a part-rebellion. Mikey sprung up, from where he was laying his head on you. It was the sprinklers, and it had a few all over the green and grassy yard. The five of you all stood up, feeling the water spraying you down. “Oh my god! Its the sprinklers!” You haven’t felt something like this since your 7th birthday, you were in your grandparents backyard. Your grandfather was watering the grass during a hot summer day. you came running out, his thump was pressed up against the hose and he chased you with the water. The air was a little warmer that day, and it felt good just to be running, and that’s how you felt in this moment, happy and free.

“Run, bitch, run!” You and Enid were the first to start running around in the sprinklers, chasing each other, but smiles plastered all over your faces, almost stumbling over your own feet a few times, clothes sticked to your body’s, eventually kicking off your shoes, bare feet pounding on slick grass, silhouettes dancing while under the street lights and free flowing mist. The 3 boys joined you both , Carl yanking off his shirt, throwing it in the air, a small slap against wet grass, Ron quick to followed Carl’s actions.

They were all there, your head for once wasn’t filled with paranoia, walkers, the new world, you were just there. All of your old thoughts faded into static, all you cared about was this moment. “Enid!” You called out to Enid, mascara dripping from your eyes, smudging across your face once you whipped it. Your head was spinning, as if you were trying to stay up right. “This is crazy! I can’t see anything!” Enid’s eyes were squinting and trying to focus, her hands on your shoulders for support. Enid let go of you, spinning around, her face glistening and smiling. “You love it!” You shouted out at Enid, the loud sprinklers buzzing and ears ringing made it hard to think or hear. Enid wanted to say no, she wanted to say she didn’t like this, the thick mist from the sprinklers stung her skin. “Ya’ love this feeling. Don’t you?” Enid’s face was a bit dumbfounded, of course she did, she’s never felt so human.

You turned over to see Carl attempting a summersault and somehow landing it, but quickly falling over once he got back on his feet. He looked quite pretty, his hair was wet and a mess, but you thought that’s what made his look good in that moment. Ron was trying to drink the mist in the air, you stumbled towards him, giving him a very drunk and not really a fully thought out kiss—this was Enid’s boyfriend for crying out loud, but not to mention Carl has a really fat fucking crash on her. . .It seemed Enid didn’t really care for Ron in a romantic way, so why was she dating him? The way she talked about him seemed as if Ron was a burden to her. And the way she talked about Carl.

You quickly pulled away after you realized what you were doing and who you were kissing, kinda pushing Ron away. He had a drunken smirk on his face. Howling laughter filled the air, you and Ron joined in on the laughter and fun, staring at each other a for a moment after the kiss. Carl and Mikey were casing each other and Enid was laughing while watching them. You threw your hands in the air, letting yourself scream and holler—loud, wild, and real. Every since you were a kid, this is what you imagined your teenage years to be like, letting yourself run free, not listening to anyone who got in your way, and that’s what you got, but you had to pay the price for that.

Some might take him for a fool, wandering through tangled vines on the outskirts without a weapon or a clue of how to get help when nobody knows where he is. –But most people don’t understand what it’s like to have to fade into the shadows hoping no one looks in your direction for too long.

Most people haven’t had to watch their mother get dragged across the kitchen floor by her hair or see their brother’s pupils blown wide, body shrunken and tense as the monster that lives in their home opens its snout and drips sweet poison into his ear.

Suddenly the dragon is flying through the air, shiny blue and green wings lifting with the wind.

It can see Sam from where it is, the boy’s arms raised above his head from launching it so that it gets tangled in the branches of the tree in front of him. The world spins for the toy, leaves falling as it finally lands on its side, Sam gripping the bark of the tree without bothering to pick the one that fell into his hair as he climbs.

The toy can do nothing but watch when Sam’s foot slips.

It doesn’t matter how badly Sam wants to believe his toys will protect him. They’re inanimate. They do not feel. They perceive. They judge.

The boy manages to catch himself and wraps an arm around a tree branch, reaching with the toe of his shoe to try and bear hug it for support.

His foot slips again and the bark slides off, falling to the ground with a soft rustle.

Sam, for whatever reason, decides he needs to climb higher.

He uses the knots in the tree as a path, surpassing the height of his dragon and continuing up the tall trunk until he’s gone up about five of himself and can see the roofs of the houses in Alexandria, sitting on a thick branch to watch the sun rise.

He kicks his legs out, looking down at the stuffed toy with his head cocked.

“Pete, the magic dragon,” His mother had called it.

He renamed it Lenny after watching his brother’s face get smashed into the TV set for the third time.

Sam leans back, letting his view shift and his hands slip from the bark holding his steady until he’s looking at the world from upside down, his locked legs resting above him the only thing keeping him from falling.

He sees you walking down the street with your hood pulled over your face, looking for something around the neighborhood.

If it’s Carl or Ron, you won’t find them. –They snuck out together hours ago with their run bags.

Sam stretches his hands out, reaching for an apple.

His leg slips forward, pants crying at the grind of wood.

Just a little further.

He reaches out again, scooting forward until his fingers touch the plump red fruit.

He pulls and it comes free.

You walk behind a house and crouch down, sobbing into your hands and hitting the back of your head against the wall.

Sam chews the flesh of the apple, turning his gaze towards the rest of the street.

Tara is running from Judith, the toddler bouncing as she tries her hardest to catch the woman before getting distracted by a green plastic cap on the ground and starts to play with it instead.

The woman puts her hands on her hips.

Sam drops the apple core, tossing it far off in the grass and watching it roll.

A rabbit hops out of the brush and sniffs at it, nose and whiskers twitching curiously.

This is his opportunity!

Sam tries to sit himself up as fast as he can, reaching for a thin branch above him.

It snaps.

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