#twd fics

“Thanks,” Daryl said, a little abashedly and hoping his face wasn’t flushing too red. He cleared his throat and crossed the threshold, following Aaron farther into the house.

“We’re so glad you came!” Aaron said.

“Who else is comin’?” he asked nervously.

“Just you,” Eric greeted him, lifting his glass of wine in a friendly gesture.

“Oh—” Daryl said, stopping abruptly. He felt heat rising in his face again.

“Y/N and Holly are here. Was there someone else we were supposed to invite?” Aaron asked. He and Eric exchanged a brief glance.

“What? No. I was just—just askin’,” he said.

“Of course,” Aaron said, smiling. “They’re in here.”

Rounding the corner into the living room, Daryl’s eyes landed on you and Holly tucked on the couch sharing a blanket, a book open on your lap. He felt his face flushing with heat again. Fuck, that was annoying.

You smiled at Daryl as your eyes met, and then Holly’s face truly lit up. She’d spotted the little bunch of flowers in his hands and let out a joyful gasp. “Daryl! Are those for me?!” she asked excitedly. The book was forgotten as she hopped off the couch and ran toward him at the threshold.

“What, these?” he drawled, the corners of his blue eyes crinkling. “Oh—they were gonna be for you but... I wasn’t sure ya’d like ‘em,” he teased.

“But I do like them!” she said insistently.

“I dunno... maybe I should save ‘em for somebody else. I could prob’ly find ya somethin’ better...”

“Nooo!” she whined, reaching her little hands out eagerly. “They’re so pretty! Please, can I have them?”

“Yeah, alrigh’. Since ya said please...” he replied, handing the little bunch to her. She beamed at them and looked up at him one more time before turning and running back to show you.

“Mama! Daryl brought me yellow flowers!”

“I see that, bug,” you said, smiling. The corners of your eyes were crinkled with it. “What do you say?”

Holly suddenly remembered herself and spun on her heel to look at him across the room again with a sheepish grin. “Thank you!”

“Yer welcome,” Daryl replied, his expression soft.

“They look like stars, Mommy!” she said excitedly, holding them up for you to inspect closely.

“They do! They’re lovely,” you agreed with her. “Where’d you even manage to find flowers this time of year? Winter isn’t far off,” you asked him curiously.

He shrugged it off. “Just gotta know where to look.”

“That’s just Daryl. He’s very observant,” Aaron said, a smug look on his face. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the archer pointedly.

“About some things, anyway,” Eric said, shooting a similar look over at Daryl. Daryl quickly ducked his head and hid his face behind his wavy hair for a moment. Eric climbed to his feet. “I have an important question. Who is going to help me make the spaghetti? I’m looking for a little chef to make sure it comes out just right...”

“Mama, can I?” Holly asked, still clutching her little bouquet.

“Of course,” you said, smoothing her hair. “Sounds like a great job for my favorite chef.”

“And I better help you get your special flowers into some water. They look thirsty,” Aaron said, following the two of them out toward the kitchen.

“How can you tell they’re thirsty?” Holly asked, peering down at the bouquet with worry.

“Don’t you see how they’re just a tiny bit droopy?” Aaron asked. “Don’t worry. A cold drink of water will fix them right up.”

The pitter patter of Holly’s feet trailed after Eric and Aaron into the kitchen.

The silence that was left behind after the three departed for dinner prep seemed thick to Daryl, and he wondered if you were feeling it the same way he was. He felt surprisingly nervous and wiped his palms on his jeans as he watched you fold the blanket and set Holly’s book aside before turning back to meet his eyes again.

You seemed to consider him thoughtfully for a moment and he found himself wishing he knew precisely what you were thinking. “It’s good to see you, Daryl,” you said. “I think Holly got used to those hospital visits. She’s been asking where you’ve been.”

He let out a small laugh, deep and a little gravelly. “I came by yesterday?” he pointed out.

You nodded. “Yeah. I know. I don’t think she grasps the concept of ‘yesterday’ yet. It’s either now or it’s been forever,” you joked.

Daryl gave you a tight smile and nodded. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “So, last day of the antibiotics. Tha’s somethin’ to celebrate. She seems really good,” he said.

You nodded, and a warm smile brought even more light into your eyes. “She is. Thanks to you, Aaron, and Denise.”

“Think ya better add yerself to that list,” he said seriously.

You gave him a curious look. “Oh, I—”

“Ya took a chance on us. For her,” he interrupted.

You looked at him for a long moment before you nodded. “If I hadn’t been so desperate, I don’t know if I would have,” you admitted.

“Yeah. But ya did. And it all turned out okay.” Daryl shoved his hands into his back pockets and chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. “‘M just glad we found ya when we did. It was lucky Aaron spotted that little bit of smoke.”

You nodded again. “How’s your arm anyway?” you asked.

“Huh? Oh. Stitches are due to come out. S’good. Healed fine.”

“Do you need help with that?” you asked him, one of your eyebrows lifting in a graceful arch.

Daryl shifted nervously. “Nah, s’okay. I’ll have Denise do it. Ain’t a big deal.”

“Are you sure? We could take care of it right now. Aaron has some scissors and tweezers in the kit in the bathroom...” you offered.

“Nah, s’alrigh’... Ain’t exactly a dinner party activity,” he said with a dry laugh.

“Might be since it’s a dinner party after the fall of civilization. Who makes the rules now anyway? I don’t think there are any,” you said.

He smiled a little and ducked his head, but shook it again. “Nah, s’okay. I’ll just see Denise tomorrow.”

You nodded again. “Has it really been two weeks already?” you asked in disbelief, lightly brushing your hair back from your forehead.

“Guess so.”

“I can’t decide if it feels longer or shorter than that,” you admitted. “It’s been a bit of a blur, but then—when she was sick—” Your eyes drifted over to the kitchen where you could see Aaron and Holly standing in the pantry getting ingredients out.

“Yeah,” Daryl nodded. Even for him at times it felt like endless hours of waiting, waiting to see if Holly would continue to improve and pull through. “How’s yer ankle?”

You laughed dryly. “It’s alright. Denise keeps telling me I need to start doing some exercises to strengthen it back up now that the swelling has mostly gone down. But with a five-year-old I’m not sure when I’m supposed to find the time,” you said with a smile. “But it’s fine. Thanks for asking.” You gave him a small but earnest smile.

Daryl nodded and cleared his throat nervously again. “Is it workin’ out okay, stayin’ here?”

You smiled fondly at Aaron and Eric helping Holly up onto a chair in the kitchen. “I can’t even remember the last time I’ve had so much help. It’s really been—” Daryl thought your eyes grew a little misty. “It’s been perfect,” you finished, meeting his eyes again.

He nodded earnestly. “Good. ‘M glad. I can’t imagine what it must have been like havin’ a little one after—ya know, when things fell apart. And out there...” A thick silence fell again and this time it was heavy. He hadn’t meant to stray into what was probably such dark territory. He cleared his throat abruptly. “Listen, I was wonderin’ if ya both have everythin’ ya need?” he asked.

You looked at him curiously again. “Carol stopped by a couple days ago with some more clothes she found for us,” you said. “And Aaron and Eric have given us pretty much everything else.”

He nodded. “Righ’... but, I mean—uhh—ya know, we left yer place out there in such a hurry and ya didn’t really take anythin’ for yerself. I was thinkin’—maybe we could make a run out there and ya could gather up whatever ya want and bring it back and—” Daryl suddenly realized he was making a big assumption. “I mean, not that yer stayin’ here, in Alexandria, forever. Even if it’s temporary, I just thought—maybe there’re some things back there that—” He was rambling nervously. Shit.

You were looking at him in surprise. “You’re offering to take me?”

He nodded, unable to read your expression entirely. “Yeah. Not that ya need somebody to take ya... And only if ya want to... or Aaron and I could go back. Ya could make us a list. Ya could stay here with Holly.”

You looked toward the kitchen as Holly let out a laugh of delight as she dumped a can of spaghetti sauce into a pot with a messy splat. You smiled and then looked back at Daryl. “It would be nice, actually, to get outside of the walls again. I’ll see if Aaron and Eric can watch her for a day or two. I think they’d all enjoy that,” you said with another smile.

Daryl looked toward the kitchen again at the happy domestic scene. Holly was standing on a chair now at the stove adding some salt to the pasta water. Eric helped her carefully tip it in. On the counter in a little vase were the yellow star-shaped flowers. He nodded. “Yeah, I suspect they won’t mind a bit,” he said. His blue eyes were soft and you felt a growing gratefulness for him and truly for the whole scene. You felt as if you’d been dropped into some kind of old-world life...

“Can I ask you something?” you said suddenly.

“Mhm,” Daryl said, looking back when he heard the sincerity in your voice.

“If you were me, with Holly to think about, would you stay in Alexandria?”

Daryl took a long moment to think, his eyes growing a bit vague. You could nearly see the turning of his mind. You wondered where exactly his mind was drifting off to. But then he sighed and nodded and met your eyes again. “Yeah. I would,” he said. “We had to make that decision too, ya know. For Carl and Judith.”

You still looked slightly unsure. “Even if—even if what I most worry about in this world now isn’t the dead but the living?” you asked. Your voice was low and tinged with some guarded truth.

With a twist in his stomach, Daryl remembered what you’d said when he and Aaron had finally caught up to you when you’d fallen into that pit. “Must be nice to walk around thinking being killed is the worst thing that can happen to you in this world.” He felt a sudden heavy weight pressing on his lungs. It took him a moment before he could respond. “Whether yer out there or in here, tha’s a risk. But here at least ya’ve got people, some people ya can trust, watchin’ out for both of you. I mean—people I trust and can vouch for, if that means anythin’. Out there—yer takin’ all that weight on yer own. Alone.” He paused and sighed heavily before glancing back at the happy scene in the kitchen where Eric was now helping Holly add the pasta to the boiling pot and Aaron was pouring more wine. He ducked his head for a moment and stared down at his boots. “Like I said, I can’t imagine what—what ya must’ve gone through to make sure she was safe and to get ya both through what’s out there.” He dared to look up again and he was unsurprised to see that yours were a bit glassy. You quickly blinked the tears away before they could truly materialize. “And I wouldn’t lie to ya. Like I said, we’ve got kids here too. Judith. Carl. We wouldn’t stay if we didn’t believe it was better here, safer. It ain’t perfect, but for them...” he glanced back at Holly. “S’better.”

You considered him quietly for a moment. “Just for them?” you asked observantly. “Not for you?”

“Depends on the day,” he said, giving you a somewhat wry smile.

You nodded. “Yeah. I get that.” You sighed and straightened up, dispensing with the intensity of that conversation and moving on. “So, when are we going?” you asked.

“Oh—” Daryl was caught off guard. Part of him had truly not expected you to be willing to venture out with him alone. He was predisposed to thinking that people should be cautious of him based on how he looked. And this was all new to you. He was still pretty new to you. He still expected you to be cautious of him, despite what he’d done to help so far. “We—we can go whenever. Tomorrow? The next day? Dun matter.”

“Why not tomorrow then? I did leave some important things out there. It’d be nice to have them back.”

He nodded in agreement. “‘Course.”

Aaron’s voice suddenly interrupted. “Hey! Dinner’s almost ready! Come get your wine and we’ll get settled!”

“Mama! I cooked dinner!” Holly yelled from her place in the kitchen. The oversize apron Aaron had tied on her was splashed with spots of tomato sauce and you laughed as you approached.

“I can see that!” you said, smiling. “Good call on the apron, Aaron,” you said, accepting a glass from him.

“Yeah, I figured with the red sauce...” he said with a jovial laugh.

“Considering we each only have about three shirts each, I appreciate that,” you said, smiling. You fondly stroked Holly’s hair and helped her down from the chair.

“Soon to fix that,” Daryl said, catching your eye again. You gave him a grateful smile.

“Oh, yeah?” Aaron asked, one of his eyebrows lifting with curiosity.

“Yeah, uh—” Daryl cleared his throat a little anxiously, “Y/N and I are gonna head back to the place they were stayin’ tomorrow. Collect some more things they need, stuff they left behind in the rush.”

Aaron’s smile grew and he exchanged a look with Eric briefly before looking back at the two of you and handing Daryl a glass of wine. “I think it’s an excellent idea!”

“I hate to ask you two for anything else—” you started, biting your bottom lip.

“Ask us! Please!” Eric said.

“You wouldn’t mind... watching Holly for a day or two so we can do that, would you?”

Aaron looked at Holly who was observing the conversation carefully and he pulled an overly thoughtful expression. “Hmm... I don’t know... I think Eric and I were planning on playing with a lot of new toys the neighbors just gave us and reading a ton of books and maybe even seeing if Carol will teach us to make some cookies. I don’t think Holly wants to do any of that so it’d probably be better if—”

“Uncle Aaron!” she whined. “I wanna do all those things!”

“Wait, you do? I thought you didn’t like books or cookies!” Aaron said dramatically.

Holly crossed her arms and looked at him, pouting. “You know I like books! And I want cookies!”

“Oh, well... in that case, I think maybe this is perfect timing then!” Aaron announced, grinning. “Holly, why don’t you show our dinner guests to their seats?” he said, a twinkle in his eye.

“Okay!” she bustled toward the kitchen table and pulled out a chair. “Mama, you sit here,” she instructed you seriously. “Uncle Eric is going to sit there, and Uncle Aaron there!”

“Guessin’ I’m here?” Daryl asked, grabbing a free chair at the end of the table. Holly looked immediately upset.

“Nuh uh! You sit there,” she said seriously, pointing to the chair right beside you. “And I sit on Mama’s other side here.”

Daryl eyed the seat beside you. “Alrigh’. If you say so,” he said, moving around to take his seat. “How come I can’t sit at the end of the table? Maybe tha’s where I like to sit,” he drawled, a slightly mischievous spark growing in his blue eyes as he watched your daughter settle into her seat.

She shot him a look and he chuckled. “Because! I’m the chef and that means I’m the boss!” she said, drawing laughter from everyone at the table.

“Obviously, Daryl,” you said, looking over at him beside you, smiling.

“I won’t ask any more questions...” he drawled, managing a shy smile in return.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

You came back into the living room and collapsed on the free end of the couch, sighing. “I think she’s finally down. Only ten books later...”

“Only ten?” Eric laughed from his place, leaned up against Aaron who had his arm draped around Eric’s shoulders. “How many last night? Is this a new record?”

You pushed a hand back through your hair and sighed. “I think last night was fifteen? So, this might be a new record. I’m sure she was worn out mostly from the excitement of having a guest over and serving as chef,” you laughed, shooting a warm look in Daryl’s direction.

He, for his part, felt his face flushing and quickly ducked his head. “She ain’t bad for a pint-sized chef.”

Aaron sighed and glanced at Eric. “What do you think? Bed?” he asked. Eric nodded and finished his last sip of wine.

Daryl made to stand up too as they climbed to their feet but Aaron waved him off. “No, no! The party doesn’t need to break up on our account!” he said urgently, shuffling with Eric toward the doorway hurriedly. “There’s wine to finish after all,” he said, giving you a pointed look and smiling. “Goodnight, you two.” He grinned and waved one last goodnight.

“Night!” Eric said, smiling and following Aaron out into the hall and up to bed.

The silence left behind them settled heavy and thick between you and Daryl. “Was it somethin’ we said?” Daryl drawled. “They both ran outta here all of a sudden,” he commented.

You nodded your agreement. “Mhm,” you hummed. “They know how to make an exit.”

At a loss for something to say and the silence feeling pressing, both of you happened to reach for the wine bottle to refill your glass at the same time and Daryl’s hand landed gently over yours as you grasped the neck of the bottle. Electricity rocketed through his skin like he’d grabbed a stripped wire.

“S-sorry,” he said quickly, withdrawing. He felt his face flushing again. You laughed lightly feeling the apples of your cheeks warming too.

“It’s okay,” you said softly. “Here,” you held the bottle out and Daryl grabbed his glass. A stream of deep crimson poured out and swirled into the bottom.

“Thanks,” he murmured, watching as you topped off your own drink. The empty bottle was discarded on the coffee table.

“I was never really a wine drinker,” he said. “Feels weird to be doin’ it now. Like ‘m—puttin’ on airs with the dead walkin’ around out there.”

“Putting on airs?” you repeated.

He nodded. “Yeah. I mean, me and my brother used to drink shitty beer at dive biker bars, ya know? And now ‘m drinkin’ wine in a house that probably woulda sold for more money than I’d see in four lifetimes,” he drawled.

You nodded slowly. “Yeah... I know what you mean. It does feel a bit—fake sometimes, doesn’t it? Being in here with these shiny granite counter tops. Especially when Mrs. Anderson traps me in a long discussion about begonias.”

Daryl snorted a small exhale of a laugh.

“You have a brother?” you asked.

Daryl nodded but cleared his throat. “Had,” he corrected you. “He died a—a bit before we got here, to Alexandria,” he said.

Your face dropped. “Oh. I—I’m so sorry, Daryl,” you said, and you reached out and touched his arm gently. Daryl stared at your hand on his forearm. “I didn’t know. That’s awful,” you said.

Finally, your hand lifted so he could speak again. “We’ve all lost people,” he said. “To tell ya the truth he was kind of an asshole sometimes...” Daryl drawled. “He wasn’t always the best brother. But he was the only family I had, ya know?”

You nodded sincerely. “Of course. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah... Thanks,” he said. He reached a hand up to scratch at a non-existent itch on the back of his head.

You sighed. “So, we’re set for tomorrow then?” you asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. I am if you are,” he agreed. “Did ya have a chance to tell Holly?”

You nodded. “As I was tucking her in.”

“She do okay with that? Ya said it’s been a long while since ya were away from her for more than a few hours.” Daryl twirled his glass aimlessly in his hands.

“She took it better than I will,” you admitted. “She’s excited to spend time with Uncle Aaron and Uncle Eric.”

“They did promise cookies,” Daryl pointed out, a small twinkle returning to his blue eyes. You smiled.

“They did!”

Another silence fell and the space between the two of you on the couch seemed to shrink. Daryl nervously took a drink just for something to do. The wine was rich and earthy on his tongue with a slightly acerbic aftertaste. “And—yer sure that yer okay comin’ out, uhh, with me?” he asked.

You gave him a questioning look. Your brow drawing down low over your eyes. “What do you mean?”

Daryl shrugged, avoiding your gaze. “S’just ya ain’t known me long. S’only been a couple weeks... I’d understand if ya didn’t feel comfortable, ya know?” He looked up then and your eyes met with his blue ones again. Yours flickered over his face and he felt suddenly as if you could see straight into his core being.

“You mean because we’ll be alone. And because you’re a man,” you said. It wasn’t a question.

He nodded. He hadn’t forgotten your words that day when he and Aaron had found you down in that damn hole pointing a gun up at them. He couldn’t forget them.

“Daryl, you saved my daughter’s life by bringing us here. And again when you went back out, risking yourself, to find more medication, more supplies for her. You got yourself cut up with glass and almost killed. And the mere fact that you’re thinking and worrying about such a thing as me feeling safe around you tells me all I need to know about what kind of man you are. Besides,” you said, pausing to take a thoughtful sip of your wine, running your finger aimlessly around the rim of the glass, “we’re alone right now,” you pointed out.

And something about the way you said that had a lump suddenly materializing in his throat. He gulped at it nervously. “Uhh—I mean, kinda...” he drawled with a nervous laugh. “Aaron and Eric are just upstairs.” His finger tapped nervously against his glass.

You smiled at him and your expression seemed so soft that his heart fluttered a bit in his chest.

“We should... prob’ly get some sleep if we’re headin’ out early tomorrow,” he said suddenly, breaking the spell.

“Yeah. Okay,” you said softly. You voice still seemed laced with something that had goosebumps rising all over his skin.

But despite how heavy his feet suddenly felt, he finished his drink and climbed to his feet. You walked him up the hall to the front door, trailing behind him in softly padding step. He pulled the front door open and turned around to glance back at you one more time. “Thanks for havin’ me,” he said. “They do make some good spaghetti.”

You crossed your arms over yourself as the chill evening air wafted in from outside. “I’m really glad you came. I know Holly was too.” You stared down at your feet for a moment. “You’re kind of her hero... Mine too actually,” you said, glancing up at him while your cheeks flushed again.

Daryl waved you off but you saw that his face also went slightly pink out to his ears. “Nah... I ain’t no hero.” He shifted nervously. “I’ll come by on my bike in the mornin’ and pick ya up, alright?”

You nodded. “See you then.”

His hand was on the doorknob when he glanced back at you one more time. “G’night.”

Then the next day came, it was time for the interview, you were all individually interviewed by the lady, Deanna. 

Of course, as expected, she asked questions like where we’re from, what can you do, your skills, and what it was like out there. Almost everyone’s interview went well, and you felt that their leader trusted you a little bit more.

Days passed; you all had settled in well. Now you were with Rick as Michonne volunteered to take care of Judith with Carl. You both were being toured around Alexandria. Since Rick is the leader of your group, it was understandable on why he was being given the tour, and of course you also had to be there with him.

“How do you like the place?” Dean, the one tasked to give you the tour asked. “It’s great, thank you.” You smile at him. “Alright,” he clasps his hand together “If you guys want to know anything else just look for me.”

“Will do.” And with that, he walks away.

You look at Rick to see him looking at something with the rarest glare you’ve seen from him. You reached out for his arm, and he immediately looks at you. “Something wrong?” You ask. He shakes his head, you felt him tug you a little closer to his space. “Don’t worry about it, let’s walk for a bit.”

After walking and talking with Rick, still felt that something was a little off about him. Though you weren’t expecting it to be proven until tonight.

The both of you were out on the porch, savoring the silence and the feeling of hope. Even though you felt like all of you were just more mouths to feed for them, but then again, you remind yourself that all of you have fought to live this long in this world and you’ll do anything that it takes to keep on doing so.

A chorus of cheering and laughs could be heard approaching. You and Rick both look at each other, you stand up from sitting on the porch railing, wondering what this ruckus could be.

Rick looks at you, and there they were, looked like a group of men, drunk off their asses without a care in the world.

It was a mistake letting your gaze on them linger as the one in front caught your eye and squinted at you. You gulped but kept your stance, crossing your arms, watching them approach closer.

Rick watched, some kind of anger bubbling in him at the way those men snickered and whispered while looking at you. Then one of them spoke, he balled his hands in fists.

The one in the front, carrying a bottle, lifted it up and seemed to point at you. “I know you,” he slurred. “You’re the woman from earlier!”

You cringed at the way his voice spoke louder, taking a step back. “You seem to be fun, why don’t you come with us for a few drinks, huh?” The man smirked as his friends laughed and seem to urge him on. “Yeah, we’d like to get to know you better.” You heard one of them say which you slightly shivered at.

“Not interested, please leave us alone.” You say, rolling your eyes. The man looked offended, shaking his head. “Come on now, you look too nice to refuse a drink.”

Rick, hearing their words, finally had enough as he stood up rather abruptly, he looked like he was almost ready to kill. “Mind causing problems somewhere else?” He said, standing in front of you to hide you from them. “We just wanted a drink, that’s all.” The man stuttered, aware of Rick’s threatening glare.

“Then,” Rick takes a step forward, raising his pointer finger up, “Go and drink someplace else before I step down there.” He points towards somewhere, his accent thick as he spoke.

The others seemed to grab ahold of what could happen as they began pulling the man who kept insisting on you. “Pfft, you letting this one decide for you?” The man leaned sideways to get a glance at you. “Just leave.” You speak.

“Damn, you really that boring?”

Before you can think of holding Rick back, he was already jogging down the steps, and with a flash there was a loud smack sound and a pained groan. The man lay on the ground, bottle broken and him with a busted lip.

Rick looked up at the man’s friends. “You knew he had it coming, anyone of you try to tell anyone otherwise,” They all nodded and grabbed ahold of the man, walking away quickly before Rick could even finish his sentence.

You ran down the steps towards Rick, “What did you do, Rick? I thought we had it under control, I didn’t think you’d actually hurt him.”

Rick looks at you. “That one’s on me,” he began before sighing. “I’ve seen him look at you like that before, I knew he was up to no good.”

You look to find the group no where in sight.

Turning back to Rick you sigh, “You know we can’t just push our luck here, you know we won’t get away with that.”

“I don’t care, they should’ve known you were with me.”

You shake your head as your heart fluttered. Deciding it was a problem for another day, you grab ahold of Rick’s hand and lead him back up the steps, you left a lingering kiss on his lips as you try and walk back to the door. He placed his hands on your hips, squeezing and pulling you flush against him.

Pulling away, you stare at him with warm cheeks and suggested,

“How’s the book going?”, you heard Steve’s voice sound through to you as he moved back into the infirmary’s main room, merely some new towels in his hands as he strolled closer. “Pretty good actually”, you said as you nodded down to Negan’s anniversary gift and looked over the dried burdock leaf that he’d glued onto one side and your notes about the medical herb that were already starting to cover the page beside it, “Really starting to look like a handbook.” “Good, I can really use that. Your handwriting is much easier to read than those notes of Siddiq, the info is gold but wow, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a messier handwriting”, Steve said with a soft chuckle, though you could clearly still hear the same sadness sound through it you felt anytime you realized that your friend was gone. A bittersweet look fell between your notebook and  Siddiq’s notes that laid right next to it, that had helped you on every step of the way to fill this book up.  Slowly you started to nod, about to reply to Steve before a mixture of loud voices made your glance shoot up. “We got an emergency”, you could hear a voice call out, stressed and full of panic before you saw the reason for this turmoil that made your mood switch up from one moment to another. Hanging in between a group of four people that carried him as well as they could hung Carter, barely conscious while a large piece of metal protruded his leg that was covered in dark red blood. “He fell from a ladder on one of the broken pipes”, you could hear one of them say entirely out of breath as they pushed inside and the first thick splatters of blood fell onto the floor in the very moment you rushed towards them. “We need help, now.” Negan’s fingertips were digging into the worn down wood of the windowsill, his eyes staring out at the forest while his mind was running wild.  What the fuck was he supposed to do now?  He didn’t wanna head back, run into Carol and find himself with a knife sticking into his damn back. Fuck knew what she’d actually do but he sure as shit wouldn’t risk it, not after the way she’d betrayed his ass just now.  Sighing he started to walk through the shabby cabin, trying to find just anything to do with himself. There was no way his wife would be here anytime soon, even if she’d hear about Carol’s new plan as soon as she’d arrive back at Alexandria, and he highly doubted that. This place was still far out and he was stuck here now. “Fuck this”, he growled, kicking against the rocking chair that was still filled with his belongings even though he felt like a tantrum throwing toddler the moment his foot met the wood. He was fucking stuck here. Gulping thickly he moved in to take his leather jacket into his hands, run his fingers over the smooth leather as he stared down at it, gulping thickly as his eyes found the marks Lucille’s wire had left here years ago.  Looking at them still gave him a bitter feeling. To this day he still didn’t know where she was, no idea what had happed to her after Rick had taken her from his patient’s room in the infirmary. He had no clue if she was somewhere locked away in Alexandria as his wife still hypothesized or if she’d really fallen off that wagon during a weapon transport as Michonne had tried to sell him once...he didn’t know.  Gulping thickly he ran his fingers over the marks, thinking back to the last time he’d held her on that goddamn hill that had decided over his fate and merely the memory of it kicked off another range of thoughts. Could they have brought her back there? Was that a possibility? He’d made up his theories over the year in lonely moments down in that cell, without taking any of them all to serious to not let them fuck with his head but the more he thought about it now, the more it seemed like an actual possibility. Rick had always been a nostalgic fucker, he could see him going back there and placing his Lucille at the place he’d slashed his throat and ended the war only to tie up loose ends, only to put some kind of symbolic end to it and give himself another piece of peace after Carl’s death. He could give it a try, right? Just to keep his mind occupied and pass the time until he could make any other decisions for his future. If his wife would even arrive here today, she wouldn’t do so soon, so even if it would just keep him busy instead of actually bring his bat back, this was worth a try, right? 

Blood, so much blood. For way too long if felt like you only saw red everywhere you looked. Carter’s leg, the bandages, the cot and the floor until you finally saw Steve’s blood covered hands handing you the last bit of tape to secure the edge of the thick bandage that was wrapped around the leg, marking the end of this ordeal. it took yet another while until you were sure that Carter was stable and the next shift started that finally displace you before you could wash the blood off your hands and stumble outside, plummet down onto the bench that leaned against the wall.  Sighing thickly propped your elbows onto your knees, trying to get yourself to realize that you were done for today and were allowed to relax now before you saw Steve moving outside, two glasses of water in his hands.  “Thought we could use a bit of a refreshment”, he said, a tired tone in his voice as he stretched one of the glasses towards you. “Thank you”, you mumbled with an exhausted smile, taking the glass from his hand before he let himself fall next to you and sighed deeply. “God I’m glad our shift is over now”, he said, relief swinging through his voice as you took a sip of your water and leaned back against the cushion of the bench,”Can’t wait to go home, eat some dinner with Daniel and then take a big nap.” “Mhmm...sounds like a good plan”, you said, taking another gulp of the water before a small chuckle fell from your lips,”Negan and I found have that DVD collection in our house and honestly, I just wanna out whatever in that console, plunge down on the couch and just shut my brain out.” A sigh left your lips, exhausted but content as you already looked forward to the moment you’d be able to cuddle up against him and switch this bench for the comfy couch. ”Just relax and watch some kinda show, even though I’ll probably fall asleep while I’m at it tho”, you mumbled, a soft yawn leaving your lips as you heard Steve humming in agreement. ”I like that plan too”, he said as you glimpsed over at him and saw him throwing you an exhausted but cheerful look,”Think I’m gonna have to lend one or two DVDs of yours some time, we’ve been rewatching the same stuff for way too long now.” ”Well you’re always welcome to stop by and take a peek at ‘em”, you chuckled, moving in to take your last sip while a small laugh fell from Steve’s lips. “You bet!” With his hands tightly wrapped around the handle of the shovel he’d luckily found in the back of that cabin, Negan found himself standing on the side of the hill, digging into the soil over and over again. There were already holes scattered all around him, with none if them leading to Lucille, nor any clue about her.  A thick sigh fell from his lips as he turned his head towards the sound of a walker groan in the distance, faint and barely audible but he could see that dirty fucker shuffling at the foot of the hill, awfully slow and thankfully lonely. That asshole wouldn’t be a problem for him for a while. Turning back around he squinted his eyes slightly, keeping them from being dazzled by sinking sun that started to vanish behind the hill’s top, before his eyes fell on the glimmering glass window that was still hung up on the tree, just as it had years ago, still missing the same shard of colorful glass that Rick had used to slash his jugular with.  With a thick gulp Negan looked back down, not all too excited about the memories that started to flood his mind all over again, so instead of spending another moment thinking about the events that had happened here, he dug his shovel back into the soil, hoisting a large piece out of it before a disappointed sound fell from his lips. Again, nothing. “Fuck this”, he growled to himself, staring angrily at the ground below him. Why the fuck was he even so upset? Chances were low that she was actually here, he knew that and still he found himself frustrated.  Clearing his throat he strolled along the hill’s side, a little further upward as he gave himself three more chances and then he’d head back to the cabin. Chance 1? Nothing, he just split a poor damn rainworm in half.  Chance 2? Nothing again, hole was as empty as a dumb fuck’s head. Chance 3?...still, nothing.  “Fuck”, Negan spat out, his hand tightening around the handle, a frustrated groan falling from his lips as he angrily slammed the shovel’s edge into the soil. But instead of the usual shuffling sound, a dull one echoed through the air, letting him flinch and shoot his glance down into the grass as his hands went back to work lickety split. This could be anything, fucking anything but this could also be...it was her.  It was really her.  The barbed wire peaked out of the grass, slightly detached from the wood that was laying there in the ground, just enough dug out for him to clearly see the bat “Holy fuck”, Negan chocked out as he started to carefully rise her out of the soil, his eyes turning wide as he let the shovel fall and leaned down to carefully pick her up.  “Ricky you nostalgic fucker”, Negan mumbled, though his throat was already tightening as he glimpsed down at the bat that had once brought him through this world. He couldn’t believe his eyes for another moment while his thumb ran along the worn down wood that had once been smooth and shiny. He could feel his nose tingling slightly as some tears blurred his view, the mere feeling of holding the bat and the view of her in his hands enough to overwhelm him for a moment.  “Oh my-”, it left his lips as he gulped the thick lump in his throat down, turning the bat softly in his hands to get a good look of her. Nature had taken its toll on her, but the bat was still the same, it still gave him the very same warm and safe feeling after all this time. It was still her. A small sniffle let his lips as he stared down at it and felt the heaviness of the emotions she carried wash over him, nearly putting him into a bubble of memories before the groaning of the walker that had shuffled at the hill’s foot earlier got louder.  Turning around he saw the dead asshole stumbling closer up the hill while a small grin grew on his face as he rocked Lucille in his hands and held her up like he’d done it thousands of times before.  “C’mere fucker”, Negan mumbled, adjusting his posture a little before the walker reached him and he swung Lucille up before rushing her down in a smooth but harsh motion, right against the walker’s skull. A groan fell from his lips as he could see the walker starting to sink to his feet, just as he lunged out one more time and bashed Lucille into the rotting skull, but instead of the squelching sound of flesh, a dull one drowned it that made his heart sink from one moment to another.  “No...no”, he gasped, staring down at his broken bat....at his broken Lucille. She hadn’t only lost her top part, she was split down her length, only held together by the rusted barbed wire at this point and his hands that started to tremble more the longer he looked at her broken parts. One moment ago he’d been basking in the joy of finally finding her again and now, now he could feel the lump in his throat growing again as he stared down at the broken bat.  From joy to grief in one moment, from relief to regret in the other.  “Fuck”, it left his lips with a defeated sound, his eyes welling over with tears as he could feel a dull, pressuring pain spreading over his body, tightening its grasp on him as he fell to his knees and felt the first tear rolling down his cheek as he weighed the broken Lucille in his hands. Could this day become any worse?

The sun was already starting to vanish behind the skyline of the trees as you finally found yourself heading towards Negan’s workplace by the walls, ready to pick him up and just get yourselves home.  ”Hey”, you called out with a tired smile as you finally reached the woodhouses and could see Barbara and Daniel still working outside, though you couldn’t spot Negan yet. ”Hey, is Carter doing fine?”, Daniel asked as he stepped from the porch of the house, leaning himself against the wall as you gave him a quick nod. ”Yeah, took a bit but we’ve got him wrapped up now. He just needs to rest”, you said as you moved closer over the grassy ground and nodded towards the cabin’s door. ”Negan’s inside?” ”Nah”, Daniel said, shaking his head as you glanced confused at him,”Went out with Carol a couple hours ago to hunt. Saw her back around here earlier though, he’s probably already at your home.” ”Ah okay. Thank you”, you started to nod again before you made your way back to the road, not questioning that hunting trip all too much though it surprised you a bit that Carol had decided to take him along with her, mostly because she’d been avoiding the both of you during the last while. Instead of waisting your thoughts any longer on the trip you hurried down the street, just eager to  get home, relax and hear Negan talk a bout his day.  Finally, you moved up the porch stairs of your home, already trying to peek inside and see if Negan was standing by the stove and cooking something but as you stepped inside, you found the living room and kitchen empty. ”Negan? I’m home”, you called out, moving towards the hallway as your only remaining guess was that he had simply just showered and didn’t hear you yet up in your bathroom or was so exhausted that he’d laid down for a quick nap. Moving up the stairs who tried to hear if you could hear him moving around, but instead of footsteps or a rustling sounds you heard nothing but complete silence. “Negan?”, you quietly asked as you opened the door of your bedroom, a part of you nearly waiting to see him sprawled out and snoozing on the bed but as you moved inside, your confusion got doubled. The bed was completely empty, the same way you’d left it this morning but your closet stood open, the bunch of shirts and pants that usually laid stocked up next to your clothes gone. ”What the-”, it fell from your lips, cut off by your confusion as you moved towards the closet and looked at his Negan’s nearly empty spot. Not all was gone, a bit of his clothes way left, some boxer shorts, a couple white shits and some sweatpants but that was it. More confusion flooded your head with every second you stared longer at the opened door, trying to piece the parts of this puzzle together even though you didn’t even have merely enough of them to make sense of this.  Negan wouldn’t leave, that was an option that you could exclude from the very first moment on but you still didn’t know what to think and what Negan’s absence and his missing clothes meant, before it slowly started to trickle down on you and a bitter suspicion washed over you.  If anyone had to know something about this, it had to be the last person he’d been seen with. Feeling your heart starting to hammer in your chest you rushed down the stairs, nearly tripping over your own feet as you moved down the hallway and back into your living room. Your eyes were roaming over the room as you hurried through it, as if they were trying to pick more pieces to this puzzle on your way out and from one moment to another, they did.  Next to the vase of flowers on your dinner table laid a folded up piece of paper that you hadn’t even noticed when you’d first stepped back into your home, a piece of paper that looked like a map as soon as you got closer.  Still filled with confusion and tension you grabbed it, unfolding it with quick movements only to feel a wave of nausea wash over you as soon as you saw the cross that marked a spot on the paper and the note underneath it that confirmed your suspicion. “Negan has been banished from Alexandria. Marked spot shows the cabin’s he’s residing at from now on.”

Nausea, anger, fear and desperation turned into a toxic cocktail within your body as you found yourself rushing down the street, clasping tightly onto the map while your eyes were fixated at the brownstones in front of you, blending out anything and anyone else on the road. Your breath was heavy, your body trembling and nearly cramped up with suspense while the growing anger made your body heat up to the point that made it feel like it was on fire while you stormed into the first brownstone’s hallway, heading up the flight of stairs with heavy, fast steps towards Carol’s apartment.  She’d done it again. A fucking solo act. You just knew it. And this time she’d gone way too far and she’d pay for that. Banging against the door of her apartment you could feel the side of your hand starting to heat up as it met the wood over and over again until you finally heard footsteps inside that finally stopped right in front of you and the squeaking of the opening door echoed through the staircase.  “What is this?!”, you snapped the moment you saw her face, holding up the map in your hand as you glared at her,”What the fuck did you do?” “I did what I had to do”, she said, the tone in her voice indifferent but firm, not at all bothered by your reaction as if she’d already known that you’d come to her place earlier or later. “Are you kidding me?!”, you called out, feeling your voice starting to tremble as the anger within you started to become more and more the longer you had to look at her. “This wasn’t a situation that could stay the same any longer”, she merely said, in the very same tone as before ,”i did what was necessary to not let it escalate.” With that, she tried to close the door on you only for your flat hand to push harshly against the wood, letting it flip open again as you could feel it boiling within you. First she pulled this shit, then acted as if what she was in the right and now she tried to fob you off.  “No, no you didn’t”, you snapped, moving forward to push into her apartment so she couldn’t even try to close the door again ,”Your job was to hold up to your end of the bargain. You told me you’d do it.” “Things don’t always work out the way we want them to”, she said, a lecturing tone in her voice, almost as if she was talking to a child instead of an adult,”You should know that by now.” Staring at her you could feel your whole body tense up, could feel an anger seeping into your body that you hadn’t felt before, an anger that got you worked up, an anger that was fueled by the frustration of unfairness over the years, an anger that was emotionally loaded with your urge to protect your husband and the life you’d just gained. The life that was threatened by the reckless act of the woman in front of you that looked at you with an indifference that drove you wild. “You fucking bitch”, you spat out, your self control starting to leave your body as you closed the distance between the both of you and could hear your trembling voice starting to become louder. “You’ve had Negan do your goddamn dirty work, risk his damn life and kill that skinfreak and instead of doing the goddamn bare minimum of laying in a good fucking word for him you had the goddamn audacity to go into our home, go through his stuff and lead him outside under a goddamn pretext”, you yelled out, heavy breaths shaking through your chest as you glared down at her,”You took the fucking easy way out! Like always.” “I did him a favor”, she dared to say, so firm and cold that you could feel the suspense in your body starting to skyrocket,”Maggie would have killed him at some point if I wouldn’t have brought him outside.” “Stop with that fucking bullshit!”, you snapped, stepping closer towards her as she still didn’t even flinch once,”You did yourself a favor. Maggie won’t do shit to him, not on my watch, nor if you would’ve done your part of the deal. You just did this shit so you don’t have to show some responsibility for your actions for fucking once.” “I stand with my decision”, she said the moment your voice hushed, a condescending smile starting to spread over her lips as she tilted her head and looked at you,”And I will not change it. We all have to deal with our own shit and so do you.” There’s this certain moment when anger gets so intense it puts a person into a trance, the type of anger that swallows someone up, puts a bubble around them and turns them from a seething volcano into one that is seconds away from erupting.  And right now, that was happening to you.  You couldn’t see clear anymore, your view a blur, the map fallen from your hands that were balled so tightly your knuckles turned white while your head was clouded with rage that just needed one little more push to kick you off the eruption. And Carol gave that kick to you, with one small sentence. ”And considering what he’s done in the past he got better than he deserved.” A dull but loud sound echoed through the air as your fist meet her jaw, fast and hard enough to make her stumble back for a moment while your hands were already wrapping around her throat, not tight enough to choke her but tight enough to get a hold on her to push her into the nearest wall. “Considering what he’s done?!”, you screamed, your hands still wrapped around her throat as you glared wide eyes down at her,“What he’s fucking done?!” For the first time she didn’t say anything, her eyes were staring into the emptiness, unwilling to meet yours at first before your grasp tightened just enough to finally make her look into your face. “He saved our fucking asses. He did the shit you couldn’t get done!”, you yelled, your voice still trembling, near before breaking and only held up by the anger that had finally found its valve,”All you’ve done lately is get people killed!” For the first time since you’d stepped into this apartment you saw a stirring in her eyes while your own started to fill with tears, blurring your glance as your voice kept screaming at her. “Stop with the fucking solo acts! Fucking stop ruining the lives of everyone around you!” Just then you slowly started to come back as the anger started to become replaced with the fear and sadness that simmered underneath the rage. Your hands fell of her throat as you stepped back, staring at your shaking right hand whose knuckles were flushed in a bright red from the lunge you’d taken at her. Sniffles started to fall from your lips as the first tears rolled down your cheeks, your emotions still so strong that they were keeping your whole body under control. “I’m sick of this”, you felt it rolling quietly from your trembling lips as more tears fell from your eyes and the build up frustration got the best of you. For a moment there, you were almost scared of yourself, of how much that anger had taken hold of you, of how it had pushed through your usual levelheadedness, something that hadn’t happened quite like this before but you’ve just had enough, of the constant fears, of the constant playing with Negan’s life and the hypocrisy that you had to face from the same people over and over again. You weren’t sorry for what you did. You were actually glad you’d finally put her in her place. Sniffing you looked back up, gulping thickly as you saw her leaning against the wall, staring at you at you, an odd mix of coldness and shock in her eyes as you reached for the map on the ground and glared one last time over at her. “I will come back with my husband and you’ll hold up to the end of the deal or I swear to god I’ll raise hell.” Fire was burning in the small fireplace of the cabin, lightening up the room that was becoming darker and darker with every passing moment. The flames ate away at the chops of wood, its warm light illuminating up the glass in his hands that was filled up with some whiskey he’d found tucked away in one of the counters. Shuffling over the small stool by the fire he tried to get as comfortable as he could, huffing to himself as his eyes swayed from Lucille that laid propped up against the wall next to the fireplace over into the flames.  How the fuck did he get to this point?  Where exactly did he go wrong to end up sitting here on that fucking hard stool that made his ass hurt, staring into the flames while the only thing that was there to keep him company him in these moments was that damn whiskey in his glass? 

Daryl was never one to mince words; or speak much, period. It was a complete surprise the first time he approached you after he claimed The Kingdom as his home. He wasn’t a stranger, though not exactly a regular face you’d see around the campus. If anything, you got to know his dog before you got to know the archer himself.

It was during one of the community movie nights that he first said hello. You were passing out some newly made treats for the kids when Daryl and Dog came strolling in. Seeing Dog always made you smile, so you immediately knelt down and accepted his welcoming, sloppy kisses and excitement.

“Hey buddy!” you laughed as he jumped up, one paw on either shoulder as he peppered you with a greeting.

“Dog, down!” Daryl chastised and was satisfied when Dog immediately heeled to his side. “Sorry, he gets excited.”

“It's fine. I love seeing him around! I wish we had more pets in the community. I know the kids get a kick out of him.”

Daryl nodded and ruffled the dog’s head. “He alright to come in with me?”

“Of course! I mean, if the King could once rule with a Tiger by his side, I can’t imagine a dog attending movie night would be a big deal,” you said and gave Daryl a playful wink.

He snorted, what you assumed to be a laugh, but realized there was a sense of sadness on his face. You thought he made just take his dog and move on, but he hesitated.

“You knew Shiva?” he asked softly.

“I did. I’ve been here since the beginning. She was a spectacular animal.”

“She was,” he said, chewing his bottom lip. “Shame she didn’t make it.”

“A lot of good soldiers were lost in that war. She was one of them,” you mused, your heart filling with a swell of both pride and loss.

Again, Daryl nodded. “Glad there are still some here that remember those days.”

“Me too.”

There was a moment, where Daryl’s steely blue eyes paired with yours. He allowed them to wander down the length of your body, but it was quick and didn’t linger; yet enough for that spark to flicker awake in place you kept feelings locked away. Through all your years at The Kingdom, he was the first man who was able to do that.

That was the first time you spoke to him. You really hoped it wouldn’t be the last. 

Over the next few months, Daryl and his faithful companion showed up at every movie night. You noticed him around the community more and anytime there was a task that involved more than just your set of hands, he was there. With each encounter, he would talk to you more and more. It got to be so frequent, that you began to think of him as a good friend; someone you could count on and looked forward to seeing. 

As winter set in, and the people of The Kingdom mostly kept to their own apartments, and you found yourself missing him. When the first real hard snowfall came, you took the chance of bundling up and headed out to the courtyard hoping that maybe he and Dog would be somewhere near. That day, all you found were a handful of kids making snow angels. Trying not to be disappointed, you turned to head back to your apartment. 

Right before you entered the building, from far off beyond the walls, you could faintly hear Dog barking. His familiar call instantly made you smile and turn away from home. Walking quickly as you could through the snow towards the gates, you climbed up to the platform and grabbed a pair of binoculars from one of the guards on duty. After scanning as far as you could, you finally spotted them, a few hundred yards out but pointed in the direction of home.

Not wanting to seem like you were waiting for them, you busied yourself around the gates, tending to some odds and ends that didn’t necessarily need tending too. When the doors finally opened, Dog came barreling in then skidded to a stop; causing a spray of snow to fly through the air. He was beyond rambunctious, tossing it up in the air with his snout, rolling in it and jumping up to catch it as it fell back to the Earth. You were so caught up in watching Dog enjoying himself you missed Daryl coming him and his gaze fixed on you. 

“Hey,” he greeted, close enough for you to notice him. 

“Oh, hey!” you replied, genuinely surprised to see him, despite knowing about his impending arrival. “What were you guys doing out there?”

“Huntin’. Thought maybe we’d cross a deer or somethin’.”

“Any luck?”

“Nah. There’s a good storm comin’. They’re all hold up somewhere by now. Got a bunch of rabbits though.”

“Oh, fantastic! I bet Nabila could do something with them to stretch them out for a bit.”

“Hope so. Pantry is good for most of the winter, but it helps to get some fresh meat when we can,” he hesitated, then whistled for Dog to join him. “I gotta go bring these in to get’em cleaned.”

You felt a weight of disappointment sit on your chest. You didn’t know what you wanted from him exactly but just knew that you wanted to be around him. “Oh… yeah, of course.”

“Dog! C’mon,” Daryl called, and once his companion obeyed, he headed off to the skinning shed.

You pulled your coat tighter around your shoulders and began to head back to your home when from the corner of your eye you saw Daryl freeze.  His head hung down, the long tendrils of hair obscuring your ability to read his expression. 

“Hey!” he called out and jogged to catch up with you. “Where—uh, I mean, what are you up to… now?”

“Heading in,” you smiled wanly and looked up to the sky that was now beginning to sprinkle more flakes. “Storm’s coming, right?”

“Yeah, not for a few hours more though I’d guess. You wanna help me with the rabbits?”

Doing your best to keep the rush of excitement at his invitation at bay, you nodded and shrugged as casually as you could. “Sure, why not. It’s been a while but I think I can remember how it’s done.”

“C’mon,” he said and motioned his head in the other direction. “We’ll see how ya do. Maybe next time you can come out huntin’ with us.”

The skinning shed was somehow colder than the outside itself. Daryl saw you shiver once he let the bag with his prey fall to the table with a thud. He pulled off his fur-lined poncho and held it out to you.

“No, I’m ok, thank you,” you said politely and moved to open the bag.

Daryl covered your hands with his to stop you and draped it over your arm.

“No, ya ain’t. Take it.”

You looked up at him and smiled, but not because of his generosity, because of how long his hand was lingering on yours.

Daryl cleared his throat and realized he was still holding your hands. “So, uh, you’ve done this before, huh? When?”

“As a kid. My brother took me hunting all the time. I honestly hated it, but I liked the time I spent with him, so I went.”

Daryl grunted an acknowledgment and went about removing the rabbits. As the next two hours went by, you each cleaned three and prepped the skins for future use. By the time you got the meat ready for Nabila and cleaned your hands, the snow was coming down in sheets. 

“Damn. I was hoping it would hold off a bit longer,” Daryl grumbled as you made your way across the courtyard towards the pantry.

“Why, you got a hot date?” You immediately cringed at yourself after asking.

Daryl snorted. “Nah. Was hoping to get back to camp.”

“Camp? I thought you were staying here.”

“I am, just been staying out beyond the walls trying to trap what I could before another storm came ‘round.”

“Oh, good. For a second there I thought you’d left the Kingdom.” You winced again when you realized how ridiculous you sounded and desperately just wanted to hide your face. You couldn’t look at him, but from the corner of your eye you saw him smirk.

“Wouldn’t want me to go, huh? Probably afraid you’d never see Dog again,” he scoffed and whistled at the dog to heel. 

“Well he is the happiest part of my day,” you said and wanted to add ‘and so are you’ but kept quiet and walked slowly beside him. “So, uh, where to after the pantry?”

“Guess back to the room Carol kept aside for me.”

“You don’t like staying there?”

Daryl shrugged. “It’s alright. I know she likes it when she can keep an eye on me.”

“That’s nice, knowing you have someone like that.”

“You don’t?”

“I have friends here, sure. But the way Carol goes on about you sometimes, she’s convinced you hung the moon. The King is too, for that matter.”

“It ain’t nothing. We’ve just been through it together, ya know?”

You did. But all you gave Daryl in response was a simple nod just as you arrived at the pantry door. After dropping off the rabbit meat, you and Daryl found yourselves back out in the cold. 

“Snow’s gettin’ deep. Probably should head inside,” he rasped and gave you a side-eyed look. 

“Yeah… you’re probably right.” Disappointed all over again. “Well, thanks for keeping me company, and for the rabbits. Maybe we can meet up for some of that stew Nabila’s gonna make tomorrow.”

Daryl seemed nervous as the wind whipped the long tendrils of his hair around his face. He chewed on his lower lip a little and nodded.

“We could. C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

“It’s fine. I’m good. I only live over there. Here, take your poncho, you’re much further across the campus.”

You started to take it off but for the second time that day, he put his hands over yours to stop you.

“Keep it. I got another,” he paused, but clearly wanted to say something else. Not wanting to scare him off, you waited quietly until he worked up the nerve to way whatever it was he wanted to. “Maybe, Dog and I could just come to your place. If I go and sit in that box with just him to talk to, I may end up back out there lookin’ for more rabbits,” Daryl said, not without a bit of humor.

His eyes narrowed on you, making you feel nervous yet excited for more time with him.

“Sure. I’m always up for your company. And Dog’s too, of course.”

“Of course,” he mocked and rolled his eyes. “Lead the way.”

It wasn’t long after, that you and Daryl were settled into your apartment. There wasn’t too much to it, but you found ways to occupy yourselves as the wind howled outside, dumping inches upon inches of fresh snow across The Kingdom. 

After you had heated up some leftover stew you had for the both of you, Daryl got up from where he was sitting on the floor and went to your cupboard. 

“Mind if I get a drink?” he asked, already looking through your supplies.

“Help yourself.”

A minute or two later, after rifling through your supplies, he popped his head back into your view to get your attention.

“Been hiding the good stuff, huh?” he said, revealing the small bottle of whiskey. “Where did you find this?”

“One of the scouts brought it back last summer. Found a bunch in some warehouse. Honestly forgot it was back there.”

“Nothing like a nip of booze to warm ya up.” Daryl raised the bottle up. “Whatcha say?”

“Crack it open,” you smiled and enjoyed Daryl’s reaction to your agreement.

He tossed the top on the counter and pulled a long shot straight from the bottle. There was no wince or bite to his expression as he swallowed the shot and held it out to you.

“Bottom’s up,” you smiled and did the same, except you did wince at the burn as it trickled down your throat.

Passing it back and forth, your conversation continued to be easy with him, mostly talking about the early days of the outbreak, where you both were, what you did. He told you about the group’s movements through Georgia that led to arriving in D.C. and you told him your story, about people you lost and how you landed at The Kingdom. These conversations were the norm now, replacing the ‘used to be’ chit chat of what do you do, where did you go to school…

Before you realized it, the room had gone almost completely dark. Despite the storm, the light of the day had been enough to keep the apartment well lit, but as the sunset behind the squall of snow, the interior was getting darker and darker. 

Since electricity was in short supply, you got up and started lighting the candles and turned on the one oil lamp you kept for just such an occasion. It was starting to get cold in the apartment, despite the fact that Daryl’s furlined poncho was still residing on your shoulders. 

Daryl held out the bottle to you again, his eyes following you after you took it, moving around the room and grabbing some of the snacks you kept on hand. 

“Still hungry?” you asked, holding out a small bag of sunflower seeds you had harvested and roasted last Autumn. 

“Kinda,” he shrugged and got up from where he had been sitting. Dog lifted his head to watch his master move across the room but laid it back down on his paws when Daryl didn’t go far.

“How come you ain’t shacked up with one of these guys here?” he asked, his brow furrowed in curiosity, and haze of slight intoxication in his eyes. 

His question left you speechless. “I--I--don’t know. Why aren’t you?” Was all you could think to say.

“Cause I ain’t into the guys around here,” he snarked and reached for the bottle of whiskey.

“Oh, that’s too bad,” you laughed and rolled your eyes. “Why do you want to know?”

Daryl shrugged. “You’re a pretty girl. Seems like you should belong to someone.”

“I belong to myself, Daryl. I don’t need someone in my life to make me complete, or to keep me safe.” 

Realizing how defensive you probably sounded, you wrinkled your nose in frustration, then started to stumble in an effort to backtrack. You wanted to say more--the whiskey was nearly making you brave enough--but in the end were able to bite your tongue. But then Daryl’s expression faltered for a moment. It was then that you realized that if anything was ever to happen between you, you would have to make that first move.

“But,” you started, and paused, taking the bottle from his hand before he could take another sip. “That’s not to say I don’t miss being with someone. That I don’t think about having someone put their arms around me at night.”

“That right?” he eyed you carefully and watched you take another shot. 

“Mhm.” You wiped your lips and handed it back, but he shook his head no and took it from you. 

Daryl left the bottle on the table, giving a cursory glance over to Dog who was now happily snoozing on the floor by the front door. When he did turn back to you, there was a change in his expression that you’d never seen before. 

“What?” you asked with a scoff. “I got a booger or something?”

Daryl shook his head. He slowly closed the distance and when he was a mere inches away, you understood this new expression he wore. Daryl was nervous, too.

“Nah,” he said in that low rasp of his you were coming to love. “You’re pretty is all.”

“You said that already,” you said and tried to swallow through the sudden lump of anxious excitement that bound up in your throat.

Daryl hesitantly reached out, cupping your elbow and drawing you in the last step that stood between you. He bent down, keeping his eyes open and holding your gaze as he moved closer to your lips. From behind him, Dog whined and turned his head just as you felt the warmth of Daryl’s breath touch your mouth. A small spark jumped between you and him, as his lips finally touched yours. It felt like it was all happening in slow motion, but it was happening. A moment you found yourself dreaming about late at night, and even in the mundane tasks of the day, was finally happening. 

The kiss was soft, and sweet. You could taste the remnants of the whiskey and when you were brave enough to part his lips with your tongue, it was strong and bitter. You were instantly lost in the moment. His hand slowly traveled from your elbow, off your arm and around your waist as he slowly turned you placing your back squarely against the counter. The whiskers around his upper lip tickled your face, but it only added to the moment. 

Daryl pressed his body against you, the weight of which felt comforting and safe. It had been years since anyone had you in a position like this, mostly because it was so hard to trust anyone enough to leave yourself this vulnerable. But with him, it wasn’t a question; with Daryl, you felt more at ease and safe than with anyone else… ever. 

You pulled back, hanging your face and trying to cover the bout of nerves that lived there.  

“Don’t hide from me,” he said, lifting your chin with his fingers, “I wanna see you.”

“Why?” you asked, though you verbalized it with a purpose, it came out in barely a whisper.

Daryl shrugged and then turned his head to look at his canine friend now calmly asleep by the front door. “Dog liked ya. Trust him more than anyone.”

“Even Carol?” you asked, unable to help to tease him a little. 

“She did marry a fake King… maybe not the best judgment,” he scoffed in a low rasp. “Besides, I told ya, you’re pretty. Hard to find pretty girls you can trust these days.”

“That so?”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, biting down softly on the inside of his lip while his blue eyes studied you closely. “Be alright if Dog and I ride this out with you?”

“I’d like that.”

“Even if its a few days?”

You nodded. “I got plenty of whiskey. Snacks, too.”

From outside the wind blew harder, nearly shaking the building itself. Snow began falling in heavy, wet sheets and snaps of trees could be heard in the distance. 

“Good thing,” he said, looking out of the window in the kitchen. “Don’t think its gonna let up anytime soon.”

“Too bad,” you said, letting your eyes wander back to his lips. “Maybe we should settle in. Get comfortable…” 

You grabbed the bottle of whiskey and went to move from between him and the counter, but didn’t get far before his reached out to stop you. He drew you back and kissed you again; this time he was far more assured and persistent in how he maneuvered his mouth to work with yours. When he pulled back, he was smiling.

“Yeah… let’s do that. Can think of a few ways we could pass the time.”