#tw bipolar

I think ive been having panic attacks but the symptoms of them are so broad that ive been convincing myself that im faking them or some shit,

I start sweating and my heart pounds uncontrollably, it feels like my brain is slowly trying to push its way out of the front of my skull right above my nose. And i squint and shake to try and get the feeling out. I can get things done when im in the middle of one. It just feels like i cant be going through all the bad things i hear other people going through. I know i can but it doesnt feel tangible to me.

i’m just going to college because it’s the thing you do and all my friends are but i can’t afford dorms and don’t wanna live here. i’m too scared to work and ik im gonna be over this soon enough and feel stupid for being upset and then posting about it but blehhhh

my parents and i were talking about if we can put him down soon. or at least when hes not eating too much, he has been eating one meal/half a meal a day but drinking a lot of water. but hes gotten so skinny you can see how thin hes gotten. i dont know whats wrong... am i a bad pet owner letting him live a little longer??? i dont want him to keep suffering.