#turds

My neighbor CJ gave me some plants and she was really nice to me (I was too excited, my body kinda didn't know how to handle it!) And I have discovered facts. She talks maaaad shit about basically everyone. I like that about her, it's good quality info and I learned about some of the problems that exist around here.

It's kinda like she has problems with the people, but it's not necessarily the people themselves. It's that the people aren't getting help to alleviate the things she takes issue with, because they won't ask anybody for help. Oh.... Alright.

I can literally solve every problem she complained about I think. Older people not cleaning up after their dogs, trash in the smoking area, stuff like that. I had a realization that I am very incredibly unobservant! I can't believe I'm minding my own business so much that I can't notice problems!!!!

I decided to go skulking around at ass'o'clock in the morning cleaning that shit. I had my gay little rubber gloves I stole from my doctor's office on. Makes it feel a little more official, like when I was doing housekeeping. I made... a shit scooper. I taped my plastic cat box scooper to a broken rake handle(?) I'll gladly sacrifice it, I want a metal one. I got some random buckets in my house for some reason so i took one that has holes in the bottom (?) Outside to act as a trash can. CJ was right about the bounteous dog turds.

If anyone saw me from their window it mighta looked like I was a crackhead out there with my goddamn phone flash light looking for turds. I switched to a better flash light, for better turd finding. I genuinely did not want to bring any attention to myself, i wanted alone time. Nobody came out til Jerry and by then I'd gathered everything in a paper bag and taken the gloves off. Plausible deniabiliy? I don't know who did that I was minding my own fucking business.

You WILL accept my help whether you want it or not, whether you like me or not. It's sad that people are definitely going to think I'm doing something manipulative. Less sad and more stupid. Too bad, you wish I was trying to get something out of you. You wish you had something to offer.