You can tell he's my favourite.

My sarcasm detector never had batteries to begin with.

Is Edward fighting for his life a common occurrence? Cause I think my reading retention definitely is.

I love Sodor Reading Between The Lines, the information and whatever else just haunts you like nothing else.

Also sorry for my absence, I have been uhh very busy!

I'm also never picking this book up again cause otherwise I'm just gonna keep waving it at @monstersteam and being like "You see this shit? What is this?"

I'm late to all information in this fandom, even about a book character that's been around since 1945.

Start of January everybody-

*BoCo's tune plays*

Is that Edward, Henry and BoCo together? Yessss.

I like how BoCo is always present for bonfire night, perhaps he appreciates a good yard burning? Either way i'm pleased to see him.

The big reason I love these illustrations is because of the variety of characters chosen, it's not just Thomas, it's combinations like putting BoCo and Daisy together in a shot and not giving a crap about how much he might quietly rib her about her eyelashes catching light to Edward and Henry.

Daisy: "Step back dear BoCo, wouldn't want your little oil puddles creating a deathtrap for those gentlemen working the fire." 😉

BoCo: "Twenty winks with those little sparklers on your peepers certainly wouldn't help. Any longer and the circus camels will be jealous."

The book cover engine silhouettes you find under the dust jackets.

⬛ <- 🚂 peep - peep!

I imagine a couple of engines really love making echos in the tunnels.

Thomas likes to see how long he can hold his whistle passing through.

Edward talks to himself in tunnels, he also likes the echoes. "Hulloooooooooooo."

Henry gets anxious passing through but he doesn't panic, he's too busy sneezing from the dust.

Gordon just swears in them.

James likes to complain in them, but he also loves singing too. (Good acoustics)

Percy tries to get through them quickly because they're dark.

Toby takes his time travelling through just so he can admire the stonemasonry. "Look at how those brick arches curve, now that's real craftsmanship"

Duck just tries to listen out for other engines passing through. (He's serious but still gets a kick out of the odd goofiness)

Donald will make ghost noises.

Douglas just screams for no reason.

Oliver tries to enjoy the brief peace and quiet.

Emily jumps out of her livery whenever she hears Henry sneeze. She also makes a note to tell Gordon off. "You said number eleven!"

Rosie likes to yell "suprise" when she exits. (More pizzazz if there's an engine on the adjacent track entering)

Nia always whispers "ooooh, it's very dark in here!" She also gets a little nervous passing through. (She doesn't like ghosts and keeps hearing them for some reason)

Rebecca goes through as fast as possible because she loves seeing the light at the end get bigger. "I love seeing the sun again!"

Diesel deliberately releases more fumes to upset the next engine passing through.

Diesel 10 practices his evil laugh.

Charlie chokes in the tunnel because of Diesel. He promptly makes fun of him for it later.

BoCo is sensible unless he's in a jokey mood, then he's terrible for blaring his horn.

Even though steam engines are these dirty, great, machines built for purpose, for some inexplicable reason they have a soft spot for kids.

I love it, it's so cute.

(Toddlers are adorably rambunctious and all of the babies I get given to hold at work, always sort of stare right into my soul, they're people in progress.)

So with locos, most of them would try to stay focused on their work, but as things go, when a member of railway staff has a baby, word quickly spreads and gossip ensues.

You can't keep a railway quiet, don't even try.

At first the engines may feign interest, but soon they begin asking a few too many questions, and pretty soon you'll find they're arguing at the sheds about the proper way a nappy/diaper is supposed to go on.

---

"Obviously it goes on the head."

"Pah, clearly it's a catching impliment."

"No, no, no, it's animals at the front and tape at the sides."

"You're all wrong, children are animals, so obviously they belong outside."

"A baby? In the wild? Don't be daft!"

"They'll be fine, we'll give them a tent."

"You'll have them hunting next..."

--- What's the point? ---

There's this theory among some loco behaviourists, that engines actually consider humans at any given age to be *Ahem* "very cute and precious."

This is likely due to our size and relatable fussiness, although a fair few engines have been less kind in describing us.

"fickle time-wasters that should spend less time asking questions and more time getting onboard the coaches."

Now kids are otherwise innocent, until they smash your windows or send you packing down the line of course, but aside from that, they're mostly angels.

They aren't big problems in the grand scheme of things, it's when they grow up and start complaining that things become difficult.

"Are you getting onboard or not?!?" James hissed steam furiously.

"No, your attitude stinks."

"Say it to my face."

Customer service is number one here.

--- Why do they even bother? ---

No matter how big a workaholic the engines may seem at first, sooner or later they will find themselves met with distraction. They can't resist pulling a face, or having an opinion after all.

The infant latching instinct quickly takes hold. "Oh look, a baby."

Edward himself has been on the railway for many years. He's seen generations of passengers grow up and go on to have families of their own. Even so he still can't help but smile whenever a child comes up to greet him.

"I remember when your grandfather was little. Day in, day out all i'd ever see was his poor mother pushing him up and down the platform in his stroller, he was inconsolable."

"His colic was so bad, passengers desperate for peace would be marching around taking turns trying to soothe him. I felt dreadful for them both, but as my driver says, the road to parenthood didn't come with a map."

The old engine was very wise, trains can't be parents of course, he did however manage to learn a few tricks.

Parental methods can be useful for dealing with naughty tank engines.

The Fat Controller himself has been heard quoting his mother almost verbatim when a loco's in hot water. It's funny, when it comes to handling small children and big locomotives, the skills involved are almost transferable.

Minus the changing, bottle feeding, and bedtime stories... Almost.

*cleans out ash box, fills up with coal, and tucks the engine into the shed for the night*

---

"The midnight express is here." Soothed the fireman.

Gordon: *Aggressive snoring*

---

Some locos consider human young to be something of a nuisance. They do come around with time, but others remain indifferent. You can't blame some of them for holding a grudge.

James: "It smells weird, it sounds weird, I don't like it."

Gordon: "I've had quite enough of those little screaming demons today, thankyou."

--- Later that evening ---

Gordon was quietly waiting at his berth after a busy day. He didn't know it yet, but his crew had a big suprise for him.

Soon his driver slowly approached him, carrying an adorable baby in his arm.

"Hey big fella, I want you to meet someone very special."

The driver then slowly and gently rested the infant on the engine's running board. The small child cooed and drooled, their pacifier was almost as big as their face. Gordon stared down at the child as they clapped excitedly at him.

*Gordon's face shifted slowly, melting into a warm doting smile*

"We're in the fostering stages right now, but I thought you two would like to get acquainted," the driver told him proudly, waving the baby's arm.

Now Gordon wasn't normally the type to let his guard down, but when as soon as he looked into the little baby's eyes, the driver immediately knew he was lost.

The big engine always was a big softy.

*Silly noises ensues*

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Gordon's heart is no match for a tiny baby.

--- Babies, how do they work? ---

In recent years, it's become somewhat of an informal tradition for the engine crews to introduce some of their newest arrivals to their work.

The engine would be left to wait at the platform or sheds, the Fat Controller would step up with the parents, and one or both would gently introduce the little bundle.

Everyone loves a suprise and heaven knows it lights up that paticular loco's day. Even when the first initial meeting goes a bit awry, the loco usually comes around quick when they find out the infant shares their name.

The competition for the crew's attention fades quickly, and soon the silly machine will find themselves inexplicably third wheeling in their crew's family affairs.

"I'm your kid's uncle now, no arguments."

--- What happens next ---

You will get some locos insisting on an "official" Sodor tour, from the safety of the coaches mind.

Because it's good to start early introducing kids to the wonder of railways.

"On the footplate son, we leave at noon."

Thankfully, common sense often triumphs these days. No more babies next to smokey fireboxes or near fume vents, thankyou gentlemen.

The Fat Controller's has enough headaches without worrying about infant driving the trains.

--- Oh Lord, not the seating ---

Finally, there's the matter of "code baby," rarely and only ever used by people in the know, namely the railway staff.

This always sends alarm bells ringing and the poor crew screaming down the line to the nearest signal box.

"There's a woman in labor, the coaches are screaming, a gentleman has fainted, and the only doctor onboard is an orthopedic!"

These phonecalls are always met with slight panic, but almost as fast as the Fat Controller's sanity can spiral, he spurs into action.

"Oh lord in heaven, the poor upholstery!"

Once the panic settles, the railway quickly gets moving like the well-oiled wooden machine it is.

The Fat Controller was on the case.

"The signalman called for an ambulance and it'll be at the nearest station soon."

Then he turned to his awaiting team.

"You call the stationmaster, you call the cleaners, you send an alert out to halt traffic and clear the line, and you call the clinic and have my foot appointment moved up."

Everyone was on the toes, and word spread quickly to the sheds and workshops.

"There's a baby being delivered on a coach!"

"Oh no, not the upholstery!"

As the drama unfolded onboard, passengers quickly backed away and open windows to let in air.

"You find someone with water, you make her comfortable, and you search the luggage and look for towels."

"Anything I can do?" Asked the kind doctor.

"Her ankles are swollen."

The guard has been here before and he was prepared.

"This baby ain't waiting."

The coaches were mortified, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

The engine on duty ran as smoothly and quickly as possible, taking every shortcut and blazing down every line.

In no time at all they'd made it to the nearest station where the ambulance was onhand, but by then the job was done.

To the sound of applause and cheers, the passengers echoed as they erupted out of the coaches.

"It's a girl, it's a girl! They sang and cheered.

The guard had managed to pull off an awkward delivery while the engine was in motion. Soon the paramedics rushed in to check on mum and baby.

The Fat Controller had rushed down himself to personally help manage the crowds.

The guard and engine were indeed heralded as heroes that day. He got a handshake, a crate of beers and was even featured in the local paper.

"Sodor man makes special delivery."

The mother hadn't forgotten about the loco that helped her that day either.

For as old as that engine was, they had not only managed to get everyone to the station early, but in record time too.

And in their honour, the baby was christened the name Emily.