#ttbh

Allie doesn’t think it’s unreasonable that when the very beautiful man who told her to call him Conner attempts to set her down amongst a group of vigilantes that she’s been assured are an alternate universe version of her family—and whom older her has apparently visited before?—she tightens her grip on his t-shirt and her knees around his hip.

The even more (somehow?) beautiful man who is first to approach them makes her hide her face in Conner’s shoulder because he’s so nauseatingly good-looking. Well, it’s a combo of that and people staring at her in general. Is everyone stupidly pretty here?

Someone makes a cooing noise.

“Jason filled us in,” says the Even More Beautiful Man. “This is Allie?”

His voice is all cheerful-gentle and Allie hates it, she does not want this man paying her his undivided attention, it’s mortifying, it’s even worse than when Duke and Jason had had to calm her down from a panic attack a few hours ago and had treated her with kid gloves and looked at her like she was the saddest, wettest kitten out in the rain.

But part of what he says makes her perk up, and she looks around the cave which is apparently called the Batcave because everyone sucks at naming things. “Jason?”

Conner snorts. “The more things change…”

“—I just don’t think it makes sense to leave me in an alternate universe with people I don’t know,” comes a child’s voice, only barely petulant, and Allie’s distracted from her search. “Can’t I be protected at—home? Don’t you have superpowers?”

“Yeah, but you’re extra squishy human right now, Korv,” says a fond-sounding Conner. A Conner who is not her Conner, or at least not the one holding her. It’s a Conner carrying a little boy piggy-back who looks about her age, walking down a set of stairs. Hm. She had gotten flown in through an entrance directly into the cave. It had been really cool.

“And the true dynamic duo is reunited,” mutters another pretty boy, trailing behind. He catches Allie’s eye and smiles.

Allie wants to die. Just how many beautiful people’s company can she be expected to endure?

“Reunited?” Allie redirects her attention. She looks at the little boy who looks back at her with equal discernment, and doesn’t recognize him though the preternatural canniness is viscerally familiar. “We’ve met?”

The Even More Beautiful Man clears his throat. “You and Korvin met the last time you were both in this universe, Allie.” He sounds slightly constipated. Unfortunately, it doesn’t diminish his charm.

“Yeah, and now it’s something something, latent agents of chaos and order, multiversal shenanigans never letting up, achieving balance in the force,” says Korvin’s Conner. “Easiest if you and Allie are in the same place for the time being while the rest of us do clean up. You two even each other out, existentially speaking.”

“That’s a stupid explanation,” Korvin grumbles. He darts another look at Allie, scans the cave.

Anything his Conner might say in response is drowned out by the sound of a motorcycle engine echoing, and Allie’s attention is stolen by the figure on the bike, who, besides Conner, is the only one she recognizes thus far. Though that’s not saying much.

Jason—or this universe’s version of him, and wow this is all getting confusing—eyeballs her once he’s parked and takes his helmet off, hair mussed and a little sweaty. He gives a little wave. “Hey, Allie.”

“Hi,” she replies, and she can feel her cheeks reddening again. She turns away.

“No memories at all?” asks Jason in a tone of confirmation more than interrogation, and she’s not a hundred percent on who he’s talking to, but she decides it’s not her. Besides, he should already know this since her Jason is the one that initiated contact with him about her coming here.

Conner answers. “Nothing past the age she is now.” He rubs his hand on her back.

Time to lean in.

“I’m seven,” she announces in her best ‘I’m baby’ impression.

“Me too,” says Korvin.

“Fascinating,” says the pretty boy. “You had at least a ten year age gap last time.”

“So, this is a situation that is potentially hilarious, and I’d love to stick around for multiple reasons not even to do with the hilarity, but unfortunately there’s a time crunch.” Korvin’s Conner sounds genuinely apologetic.

“Ditto.” Conner is similarly regretful. “Believe me, I want to hang around, and you are wicked cute as a kid—” he directs this part at Allie “—but the universe-saving thing. Kind of pressing.”

“They’ll be safe here,” assures the oldest man in a gruff voice. He’s handsome, but in a dad kind of way where he looks like he needs a nap and a shave. Allie bets he gives really good hugs if you’re able to surprise one out of him.

“Hopefully less mayhem than last time,” says the Even More Beautiful Man with a laugh. “Admittedly not a high bar to clear, though.”

Everyone has been extremely vague about what had happened the last time Allie had universe-hopped, her Jason especially, and he had seemed to know the most. Maybe she’ll get some answers here.

“This is child abandonment, I’m pretty sure,” protests Korvin when his Conner detaches him and sets him down. His Conner winces deeply.

“I’ll be back, Korv,” he promises, crouched down to eye level and more serious than an adult making those kinds of promises to a kid usually is.

“Hm,” is all Korvin says.

“You too, now, Allie,” says her Conner. He’s wearing a reassuring expression. “Back soon.”

She doesn’t put up a fuss this time, though she feels a little silly standing there in the Wonder Woman t-shirt her Jason had given her—older-hers, apparently, and she swims in it even with the hem tied in a knot at her waist—and the jeans and shoes that had been hastily purchased in her home universe.

The two Conners eye each other, and then Korvin’s Conner says, “Good to know I can pull off a nose ring.”

Her Conner scoffs. “I can pull off anything.”

Korvin’s Conner grins. “It's true, I can.”

“See you in a bit, Allie.”

“Real soon, Korv.”

The two of them have some universe-traveling bracelet doohickey and vanish in short order, and Allie looks around the gathered inhabitants of the Batcave—seriously such a stupid name—and then at Korvin, who looks back at her, and, in unspoken agreement, they move closer to each other.

“I think this means we’re best friends now,” she says solemnly.

Korvin nods back with equal solemnity.

The Even More Beautiful Man squats down and smiles at them. “Either of you hungry?”

“Is Steph here?” Allie ignores him and peers around the cave for effect. ”Or Duke?”

“Steph and Duke?” Korvin asks her, also ignoring the Even More Beautiful Man.

“They're nice,” Allie informs him. ”And Steph's really pretty.”

The Even More Beautiful Man makes a noise in the back of his throat, apparently of confusion or dismay, because he quickly clears it and that noise is different. “Steph's wrapping some things up and Duke has class. He'll be back for dinner.”

“Oh.” Allie stops looking around. She still doesn't look at the Even More Beautiful Man; it'd be like looking at the sun if the sun wasn't an indifferent ball of burning gas and instead actively liked you.

“Who are you, anyway?” says Korvin to the Even More Beautiful Man, though Allie notices that he doesn't look at him straight on. Still. Respect.

The Even More Beautiful Man smiles again. “I'm Dick—”

Allie chokes, shares a frantic glance with Korvin.

“That's a bad word,” Korvin accuses instantly.

“I can't say that, I'll get in trouble,” Allie follows up.

“Are you trying to get us in trouble?”

“That's not nice.”

“You shouldn’t try and trick people.”

“I don’t like this.”

Korvin latches onto her hand; she squeezes back. They shuffle even closer to one another.

The pretty boy is clearly biting his cheek in order not to laugh, his face pinking. Dick—and not only is everyone pretty here, the bad names aren’t limited to places, apparently—just stares at them, shell-shocked.

“I—it’s not a bad word, my name is—Dick is short for Richard. It’s a nickname.” He sounds thoroughly lost.

“Sure, Mr Richard,” returns Korvin derisively.

The pretty boy loses it at the same time as Jason bursts into a full-on cackle and Dick’s expression turns to one of horror. Allie, trying not to observe everyone else laughing so that she doesn’t crack, manages instead to make eye contact with the old guy, who gives her the most subdued yet intense smile she’s ever seen, causing her to reflexively smile back.

“His name really is Dick,” the old guy says, subdued-amused. Wow, everything about this guy is subdued, but strictly in a lurking-under-the-surface kinda way. “I’m Bruce. Allie, you’ve met Jason. Korvin, you’ve met Tim. The others will be by eventually and we’ll do further introductions as needed.”

Smart, not offering up information until it’s immediately relevant. Also, paranoid. Allie notices Bruce noticing that she notices, and, judging by the grip on her hand, Korvin notices, too.

“Holy shit, this is great,” Jason wheezes.

“Language,” Tim wheezes back, setting them both off again.

With an air of trying to regain his equilibrium, Dick looks to her and Korvin, jokes, “What, you’re not going to reprimand Jason for using a bad word?”

Korvin scuffs his foot on the concrete, looking down, hand swinging in hers. “Not my business.”

Allie, feeling a little emboldened by the general good humor, interprets: “He’s not trying to make us say anything bad, so it’d be rude to reprimand.” Then, enunciating as clearly as possible, she continues, “And we have fucking manners.”

Even Dick loses the ability to hold it together in the face of such impeccable logic; he snorts loudly, claps a hand over his mouth.