Day 52 Relational Disorder
Relational Disorder is the topic of the day, yet presence is order in the idea of what the word means. True relationships are not defined by the measurement of terms. True relationships are not defined by thought, for thought exists outside of what you truly are, and to be in relation through thought is the division of togetherness. What it is, is truly existence here and now without terms, without boundaries, without needs, without wants, yet everything is fulfilled. That fulfillment is not rooted in ego, it is rooted in presence. Responsibility therefore does not become a term, it is simply a part of that presence. The classic line at the altar, “til death do us part,” is merely a term, an agreement, and society through thought, something outside of us, tries to make sense of what is internal within each center of consciousness, and some of those centers create systems for the masses through control. True relationships would simply arise and exist, full and whole, superficial and deep at the same time, yet not defined by any of it. It would be like the “I” as a point in time and space sitting on the bank of a river watching it flow, not trying to stop it, not needing to control it, just the happening. These streams of nothingness trying to make sense of the meaningless come from the confusion between order and disorder, where thought itself is disorder yet we treat it as order. When you look at the game of life, the game of relation, the game of “I,” you begin to see how much of it is built on that disorder. True relation is instinct, direct attention, like a mother to her child, not conceptual or defined but immediate, where a mother gives birth and in the natural unfolding there is direct attention, pure and unquestioned, and that is the real meaning of “til death do us part,” not as a contract but as an unbroken movement of presence in the eternal now. Even if the mother is no longer in the life of the child, the child remains an extension of her, nature continuing through her, and in that sense there is no death, only continuation. So then the question becomes whether what appears as opposites can find true relation outside of terms, because the moment thought enters there is fragmentation, the moment measurement enters there is fragmentation, and fragmentation is not wrong, it is part of the game, but beyond thought and beyond measurement instinct remains, and instinct is the true act, knowing through existing. So is there space for true relationship within the game, or is the search itself the thing that removes you from it, because presence is not something you strive for, it is what remains when striving ends, like enlightenment without the word, without the pursuit, without the idea, just this direct instinctual attention here and now forever.
