#trolltown

New Post has been published on https://goo.gl/0PxWke

Down 'n' Out in TrollTown

OK. So we admits it. We trolls are sensitive creatures. Truly we are. Beyond the armor-like skin and claws and fangs, we’re all soft ‘n’ gushy inside — just like the rest of ya. ‘S true! Even with constitutions like granite and the regenerative abilities of frogs on grak (that’s a cross between grog and crack, for you ig’nant provincials), we still get hurt, and hurt inside. Aw. Yeah. I know…

Poor, poor baby.

But here’s the thing. We rolled out our free dungeon tiles — two sets of ’em — to a resounding THUD last year. Kinda like the sound a beheaded ogre makes as its 800 pounds of suet flops onto a flagstone. And just as lovely.

I mean, we even did a freakin’ press release, people. What the hell MORE do ya want? We had to get a scribe conversant in English, of all things! Fer God sakes! Grrrrr…

But nothin’ happened. Nope. Nothin’. Snif.

From which we concluded — if you can’t give away free freakin’ stuff, you either smell really, really bad (which we did consider as a possibility), or your goods ain’t that good. Either way, we’re fug’n fugged, right?

So, being the typical trolls and seeing the glass as not just half empty, but a soon-to-be-smashed bit o’ crockery that will never hold an ounce of liquid (or liquor) again (snif), we figured A) notroll cared, and B) no surprise. Just ’cause we thought it was a good idea, didn’t mean anytroll else would. Or could. Or did. Or does.

To which we said: Fug it!

And then went back to slayin’ elves and enslavin’ goblins. Or was it the reverse? I can’t seem recall. Hmmmmmm…

Weeks, then months, went by. Fumbleweeds blew through. Crickets the size of TrollTown roaches were heard. Continuously.

It was enough to make a full-grown troll cry. Or possibly fly into a homicidal rage (or three). Not sayin’ that happened of course. No charges were brought by the Magustrate, though there were fines. Many fines.

Then somethin’ strange happened…

We got a patron! A for-real, doesn’t actually know us, wants what we got and pony’s up the dough kinda patron. Hot damn!

And then, suddenly this month, we got several more. Great Troll Gods!

I guess we are going to have to get the dungeon tile craftstrolls come back from their self-imposed exile of angst, shame and self-loathing (even more so than usual) in the Fetid Swamps, get the goblins back from the Ghoria (“dwarf town”), rough-hewing the granite again for us instead of them, and fire up the elemental forge afresh (luckily we’ve got some elvish souls in a jar).

New Post has been published on https://goo.gl/0PxWke

Down 'n' Out in TrollTown

OK. So we admits it. We trolls are sensitive creatures. Truly we are. Beyond the armor-like skin and claws and fangs, we’re all soft ‘n’ gushy inside — just like the rest of ya. ‘S true! Even with constitutions like granite and the regenerative abilities of frogs on grak (that’s a cross between grog and crack, for you ig’nant provincials), we still get hurt, and hurt inside. Aw. Yeah. I know…

Poor, poor baby.

But here’s the thing. We rolled out our free dungeon tiles — two sets of ’em — to a resounding THUD last year. Kinda like the sound a beheaded ogre makes as its 800 pounds of suet flops onto a flagstone. And just as lovely.

I mean, we even did a freakin’ press release, people. What the hell MORE do ya want? We had to get a scribe conversant in English, of all things! Fer God sakes! Grrrrr…

But nothin’ happened. Nope. Nothin’. Snif.

From which we concluded — if you can’t give away free freakin’ stuff, you either smell really, really bad (which we did consider as a possibility), or your goods ain’t that good. Either way, we’re fug’n fugged, right?

So, being the typical trolls and seeing the glass as not just half empty, but a soon-to-be-smashed bit o’ crockery that will never hold an ounce of liquid (or liquor) again (snif), we figured A) notroll cared, and B) no surprise. Just ’cause we thought it was a good idea, didn’t mean anytroll else would. Or could. Or did. Or does.

To which we said: Fug it!

And then went back to slayin’ elves and enslavin’ goblins. Or was it the reverse? I can’t seem recall. Hmmmmmm…

Weeks, then months, went by. Fumbleweeds blew through. Crickets the size of TrollTown roaches were heard. Continuously.

It was enough to make a full-grown troll cry. Or possibly fly into a homicidal rage (or three). Not sayin’ that happened of course. No charges were brought by the Magustrate, though there were fines. Many fines.

Then somethin’ strange happened…

We got a patron! A for-real, doesn’t actually know us, wants what we got and pony’s up the dough kinda patron. Hot damn!

And then, suddenly this month, we got several more. Great Troll Gods!

I guess we are going to have to get the dungeon tile craftstrolls come back from their self-imposed exile of angst, shame and self-loathing (even more so than usual) in the Fetid Swamps, get the goblins back from the Ghoria (“dwarf town”), rough-hewing the granite again for us instead of them, and fire up the elemental forge afresh (luckily we’ve got some elvish souls in a jar).

New Post has been published on http://trolltown.xyz/map-tiles-on-patreon/

Map Tiles on Patreon - TrollTown is Live - FREE Dungeon Tiles for D&D

Launched. Live. Live It Up?

Well, now we’ve gone and done it. After months of hard labor, breaking rocks (of a sort), we’re FINALLY live on Patreon — where you can now stampede to become our patron and get your map tiles! Yippey! Right?

As my Daddy used to say: Now we can retire.

Ahem. Yeah right. As if.

Launching is only half the battle. If that. It accomplishes next-to-nothing in and of itself.

Still, it took a heck of a lot of work to put our Troll Town Patreon page put together. I mean, you can think of it as a mini-website unto itself. This, on top of all those gob-darned dungeon tiles that had to be built. Here’s how it went:

First, it took a long time to figure out our levels (Level Up!) and what we were going to offer. Yeah. Brain strain! Something we trolls really don’t like.

Second, scintillating copy had to be written. For a dumb cave troll working with hammer and chisel, this is no mean feat.

Third, graphics had to be generated. Again, difficult and time consuming. Being a craftstroll does not mean one does fresco! Patreon assures us that having appealing graphics is critical to success on the platform. As a one-time marketing troll, I tend to concur — even though it’s been brutal and ugly. Just like Mom. 😮

Ouch! Sorry, Mom.

Fourth, video had to be created. Again, Patreon assures us that profiles with videos tend to do better. That’s fine, but creating video is nothing less than a major undertaking in and of itself. Watch the video and you’ll see why.

Then — joy of joys — it turned out we needed to produce not one, not two, but THREE variants of the same video: one for Patreon, one for YouTube (and general use) and one for this website. Yikes! It’s enough to cause one to go back and live under a bridge. Again!

> Watch the Patreon version.

> Watch the YouTube version.

> Watch the Website version.

Can you see the differences?

Get Your Map Tiles Now, Troll Friend!

So now we’re “officially” launched on Patreon, and our map tiles are available to everyone! But this is not it. No way. There’s much more to do behind the scenes. The circus tent is up, the signs and banners and bunting are going up, but out of sight there’s a mad scramble to get ready for the crowd. Assuming there is a crowd. Opening night is always like that.

And now we’ve got to get the word out about our map tiles. There’s nothing sadder than a circus tent in the middle of nowhere, and nobody comes. 🙁

By the way, you can help with the crowd and getting the word out. How?

Comment on this page (and others): Google likes that.

Share this page and other content on this site. Google really likes that!

Show the love at Patreon, by sharing that page with others.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly (at least to the continued and ongoing existence of TrollTown), become a patron!

Your help and support is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your attention. As you were.