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12. "I think we need to talk." OR 14. âHey, Iâm with you, okay? Always.â
Por que no los dos? đ
Enjoy a little caregiving and romantic subtext...
T'Pol's memory was hazy.
They'd been on what was supposed to be a Class L planet on a scientific discovery mission. Carefully procure samples of vegetation to study, collect several seeds for Dr. Phlox, and return to Enterprise within twelve hours.
Her head ached with the effort of trying to piece together why her eyelids were welded together, her limbs in tremors every time she tried to move to them.
Red. A flower bloomed in her mind's eye in a sizable spiral, petals multiplying as it opened. It had caught the corner of her eye.
Logically, she wanted to observe this natural phenomena in its own environment. She swiveled her head to get a closer look, when a orbiting yellow gas localized from the perimeter of its petals, andâŚ.
And that's where it all went black. Her head pounded, her heart's beats per minute slowed, and all she felt was pain.
She still was in pain.
A whisper, soft unlike anything in Vulcan, broke into her cocoon of writhing pain.
âHey, I'm with you, okay?â A hand grabbed hers, thumb rubbing over her wrist. That voice. It should not soothe her but it did. âAlways.â
Her focus drifted from where they were; darkness turned to vast desert, a familiar red heat and sandy wind across her face. The arid air smelled like volcanic ash and stung her eyes with scorched mineral. It used to be the place she called home, not sentimentally, but factually. But now? Now, she was not so certain.
Sand slipped through her fingers, like the earth relic hourglass. As it disappeared, her pain diminished with it. Her nerve receptors were finally able to rest.
The hand, his hand, clutched hers still. His skin was damp with sweat, hers cool and without tension. Humans would call their hands clammy. Vulcans physiologically did not get âclammy.â
T'Pol could open her eyes, but a deep root of desire pulled at her. She wanted to stay immobilized and allow him to continue his act of compassion, touching her gently and caressing the top of her hand. It was illogical. Highly illogical.
She grit her teeth reflexively.
Her companion creaked his chair, moving toward her in an instant. How closely had he been observing her? For how long? âT'Pol? Are you awake?â
She released the weight on her lids, exposing her view to the blinding lights of the doctor's Med Bay. A figure, first a loose shadow in front of the overhead lights, began to take a more solid shape.
She knew it was him, before she saw him clearly in his uniform.
âCommander Tucker,â she said, voice cracking and dry from disuse.
âBoy am I glad to hear your voice.â
âIs it customary on Earth to call adult females a small male child when they recover from alien poisonings?â
âThere's that Vulcan humor I was missinâ.â Trip's concern transformed to a cheeky smile. His gaze fell to their hands still melded together. He patted her before pulling it away. âHad us all worried. I'll, uh, I'll get the doc to check you out. Make sure all your Vulcanness is intact.â
T'Pol blinked slow, stretching her toes, her fingers, her neck. Full flexion and extension, sensory experience intact. She would be in more than adequate shape within a day or two. The fuzziness in her mind lingered, but she was lucid enough to sense his apprehension.
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Sooooo, the Lower Decks penultimate episode had me going insane for multiple reasons. One of the biggest was T'Pol and her 63 year long marriage to Trip. So I drew some snapshots!
we all know Trip is a big softie and a crybaby so I think he'd cry (for both of them) at both their weddings.
I think they named their Xindi saga AU son Lorian cause that was T'Pol's dad's name. Just like they named their daughter Elizabeth after Trip's sister. I think they remember them and they wouldn't re-use those names for any additional kids they would have.
Baby number 2! I think Trip would want to keep the naming tradition of "Charles Tucker" alive but I don't think he or T'pol would care much the gender of the child they give the name to.
T'Lor takes after his mom. His emotions are more Vulcan (volatile) so he definitely followed the path of logic. He was kind of adrift as a young adult but ended up becoming a mechanic for a number of years before becoming a teacher at a technical school.
Charles "Liz" Tucker IV takes after her dad and joined the Academy out of high school and became an engineer. Unlike her dad and brother though, she found she's much more interested in research and development. She ends up working to design and test new star ships.
Theyâre in the cafeteria â Hoshiâs squinting at some alien language someone had sent her, and Malcolmâs going over the scores from the crewâs last training session â when Trip slams a hand down on the table. No hello, no preamble.
âI think Iâm stuck in a timeloop.â
âJesus, fuck,â Hoshi mumbles, more from the jump scare than the statement.
âA timeloop. Hoshi.â
Malcolm sets his padd down on the table. âA âweâre all gonna dieâ timeloop or a âyou need to grow as a personâ timeloop?â
Trip finally sits down instead of leaning over the two of them. âWhat?â
They both look at him expectantly.
âI donât know. I mean, nobodyâs dying, soâŚâ
Malcolm nods to himself. âGrow as a person then.â
Trip eyes him. âWhere are you even getting that from?â he asks at the same time Hoshi says,
âI think you read too many books.â
âSci-fi authors had some points!â he defends himself. âThey got some bits right.â
Trip raises his eyebrows. âLike?â
âI donât know,â Malcolm answers, waving a hand vaguely in the air between them. âTime is a circle? Choices echo across dimensions?â
âHey, uh, what have you been doing in the timeloop?â
âNothing.â
Malcolm sighs and rubs at his eyes. âSo definitely a âgrow as a personâ loop.â
Trip slumps in his seat. âGod, I hope not.â
Thereâs a pause. Malcolm considers the situation: a timeloop isnât something theyâve encountered before, but itâs not that far out considering everything else that has happened.
âHmm,â He says, thinking aloud, âhow are we presenting to everyone else if the ship is stuck in a timeloop?â
âItâs not the ship, itâs just me.â
Hoshi picks up on his train of thought. âWell, if everything keeps resetting, then itâs the whole ship, right? I mean itâs around you.â
âOh.â He pauses for a moment. âI guess thatâs true, especially since people come back to life and stuff.â
That earns him a look from both of them.
Malcolm leans back, hands steepled. âHow do you know that? You said no one was dying.â
He glances between them. âWell. You know. Theoretically.â
âTrip,â Hoshi says slowly, âdid you kill someone?â
âNot intentionally!â
Thereâs a beat.
âOh my god,â Hoshi says, sitting back.
âIt was an accident! Or possibly self-defence? I donât know it got real weird for a few loops, or maybe I had a psychotic break. There were aliens, or I though they were. Anyway, I got stabbed, but I woke up again. So everythingâs fine now.â
Malcolm gives him a long, unimpressed look. âTrip, if you start a sentence with âI got stabbedâ and end it with âeverythingâs fine,â Iâm going to assume the opposite.â
âEverythingâs fine.â He repeats, weakly.
Malcolm eyes him. Doesnât ask about the potential psychotic break, but he does catalogue the way Trip looks: deep bags under his eyes, a tension in his shoulders that hadnât been there the day before â or what he knew as the day before.
âShow me.â
âWhat?â
âWhere you got stabbed.â
âWeâre in the mess.â
âAnd itâs basically abandoned, come on.â
Trip grumbles something under his breath, but he does undo the zip on his jumpsuit and lift up the undershirt to show them both a scar, just under his ribcage.
âWas that there before?â
âUm. No?â
Malcolm rubs at the bridge of his nose. âYouâre not sure?â
âItâs been a lotta loops.â
He sighs. âOK.â
Trip rights his clothes.
âHave you spoken to TâPol?â Hoshi asks.
Trip sits up straight, something wild in his eyes for a moment. âWhat? Why would I speak to TâPol?"
âWell, this is sort of her area, isnât it? Weird science stuff?â
He deflates again. âOh. Right. TâPol.â
Malcolm exchanges yet another glance with Hoshi.
âWhat have you been doing in the timeloops?â He repeats the question asked earlier, firmer this time, not allowing Trip to verbally wiggle his way out.
âUh,â Trip stammers for a moment, âwell, you know the first few, I was just doing my jobâŚâ
Hoshi rolls her eyes. âAnd after you realised it was a timeloop?â
âJust⌠stuff.â
Hoshi raises an eyebrow. âStuff like what?â
Trip opens his mouth, closes it again. âYou know. Tried different breakfast orders. Punched a guy in the mess once.â
Malcolm has questions about that, but doesnât get a chance to voice them.
âTried to teach myself the cello â did you know Danvers has one on board? Failed at that. Uh, jumped out an airlock⌠with a suit, I mean. Once. Just to see.â
Thereâs a beat of silence.
âJesus,â Hoshi mutters again, setting her padd down properly this time.
Malcolm leans forward, his voice lower, more serious. âTrip, how many loops has it been?â
Trip stares past both of them for a moment, jaw working. âI stopped counting around seventy.â
âSeventy?â Hoshi echoes. âTrip!â
âI said I stopped counting! Itâs probably been more.â
He lets that hang for a moment, the weight of it finally registering.
âFuck.â Malcolm mumbles, leaning back again. âAre you⌠I meanâŚâ
Trip shrugs. âI mean. I tried some⌠exploring, you know.â
âExploring.â
âLike, personal growth stuff. Internal exploration. That sort of thing.â
Thereâs a pause.
Malcolm narrows his eyes. âDid any of this⌠exploration involve TâPol?â
Trip stiffens visibly.
Hoshiâs eyebrows shoot up. âOh my god.â
âNo!â Trip says quickly. Too quickly. âI mean⌠She figured it out in loop 23. Said I wasnât taking it seriously. That I needed to reflect or something. And then she meditated at me for an hour.â
âShe meditated at you?â Hoshi says.
âShe justâŚÂ stared. And then told me to try again.â
Hoshi looks like sheâs trying very hard not to laugh.
âAnd I went back in the next loop to try again, but it, uhâŚâ He trails off, his face doing something complicated.
The two of them exchange a glance, the laughter gone from Hoshiâs face.
âTrip. Did you seduce TâPol in a loop where she wouldnât remember it?â
He recoils instantly. âWhat? No! What the hell, do you thinkâŚ? Thatâs⌠I mean⌠She initiated it!â
Thereâs a beat of dead silence.
His eyes go wide. âShit.â
Malcolm sits back with a low whistle.
âOh my god,â Hoshi says again, this time sounding both scandalized and deeply entertained. âYou did.â
Trip drops his head into his hands. âI hate both of you.â
Malcolm smirks. âDid she call it an experiment?â
âShut up, Malcolm.â
The way he seems to be attempting to bury his head into the table is enough for Malcolm to take pity on him. âOkay. Letâs assume this isnât just some elaborate stress-induced hallucinationâŚâ
âItâs not!â
â⌠then thereâs got to be a reason itâs just you, right? So either you touched something you shouldnât haveâŚâ
âNot recently,â Trip mumbles.
ââŚor, something wants you to solve⌠something.â
âI am trying to solve it!â
âTrip,â Hoshi says, crossing her arms. âBe honest. Have you spent more loops trying to get out of it, or more loops just⌠messing around?â
Trip deflates again, and this time itâs more like a balloon losing air than someone whoâs annoyed. âI was lonely,â he says quietly. âYou ever know no oneâs gonna remember anything you say? It gets... weird.â
That sobers them both.
âWell,â Malcolm says after a moment. âYouâve got us now. Might as well use the loop to do something productive. Like figure out how to bring other people in.â
âYou think thatâs possible?â
Hoshi nods. âMemory's a function of perception. If we can anchor something, uh, maybe in the comms system? If we get Phlox on board we might be able to do something neuro- linguisticallyâŚâ She trails off, deep in thought.
Trip perks up. âThat thing you did with the Romulan code?â
âExactly.â
Malcolm glances at his padd, thoughtful. âIâve got an idea too. Something with the shipâs internal sensors. We might be able to leave a kind of breadcrumb.â
Trip finally smiles, small but real. âSo weâre doing this.â
âWeâre doing this,â Hoshi confirms. Then she grins. âUnless you loop out before we get anywhere.â
Tripâs smile falters. âYeah. That keeps happening. Sometimes mid-sentence.â
âCharming,â Malcolm mutters, standing and gathering his padd. âWell, letâs get moving before you blink out like a faulty transporter.â
Hoshiâs already typing on hers. âWeâll need Phlox. I donât want to try anything neural without him.â
âGood luck explaining this without sounding insane,â Trip warns, rising after them.
Hoshi snorts. âPlease. This is Enterprise. Weâve been possessed by space fog.â
Malcolm stops suddenly, looking over his shoulder. âWait, whatâs the reset point? When does it start?â
Trip grimaces. âWake up in my quarters. Alarm goes off at oh-six-hundred. Tired, hungry, same dream. Sometimes I wake up already saying something weird, which is fun.â
âAnd how long does the loop run?â Hoshi asks. Sheâs still typing, filing away notes for later.
âIt varies.â He admits. âOn average, eight hours, maybe ten? The more I try and mess with stuff, the more unpredictable it gets.â
They reach the turbolift. Trip hesitates before stepping in.
âI looped in the lift once,â he says quietly. âDidnât make it to breakfast. Just⌠back to bed. Over and over.â
The doors slide open. Hoshi and Malcolm exchange a look before stepping inside with him.
âWell,â she says, softer now, âyou made it to breakfast this time.â
Trip glances at her. âGuess that counts as progress.â
*
Phlox is halfway through feeding his small menagerie when the three of them enter. And Trip would never admit it, but thereâs something comforting about sickbay; the soft sounds of animals and the man in the middle of it all, unphased by everything they throw his way.
âGood morning,â he greets them, without looking up, âis someone injured or are you here to tell me something improbable?â
Trip stops mid-stride, even as the other two continue in.
âHowâd you know that?â
âBecause this is Enterprise,â Phlox replies serenely, wiping his hands. âAlso, Ensign Mayweather came in an hour ago swearing youâd walked through the corridor twice, and you didnât acknowledge him either time. So. A theory?â
âIâm stuck in a timeloop.â
Phlox smiles like heâs just been told his favorite dessert is back on the menu. âFascinating.â
Malcolm and Hoshi hop up onto one of the beds.
âYeah.â Trip mumbles, knocking Malcolmâs leg until he shifts over enough for him to join them, âthatâs one word for it.â
âDo you have any physical anomalies?â Phlox asks, already pulling out a scanner. âUnusual fatigue, memory loss, temporal scarring?â
âGot stabbed once,â Trip offers. âThereâs a scar. It stayed.â
Phlox freezes, eyes bright. âA persistent injury across loops? Excellent. May I see?â
Trip groans. âWhy does everyone keep asking to see the stab wound?â
âBecause it proves your reality,â Hoshi says, then turns to Phlox. âCan you do anything or see if thereâs something else being carried across the loops? Neural tags? Synaptic signatures?â
âAh! Possibly.â Phloxâs hands are already moving. âWe could attempt a micro-resonant frequency trace. If we embed something in the hippocampus, perhaps a stable echo patternâŚâ
Tripâs face falls. âThat sounds like brain surgery.â
âOh, nothing invasive,â Phlox says cheerfully. âAt least, not yet.â
Malcolm claps a hand on Tripâs shoulder. âThink of it as personal growth.â
âShut up, Malcolm.â
Phlox waves Trip over. âHop up, Commander. If we can anchor your memory, perhaps we can extend the loopâs boundaries. Or identify the moment of interference.â
âWe could put you in an MRI machine at the moment it loops.â Hoshi suggests, still tapping away at her padd.
âWouldnât the MRI machine just reset as well?â Malcolm points out. âWeâd get no data.â
âOh. Right.â She scrunches her nose up. âWell, it was a thought.â
Trip sighs and hops off the bed, trudging toward Phlox like a man heading to his own execution.
âYouâre not going to drill into my skull or anything, right?â
âCertainly not without anesthesia,â Phlox says brightly, then gestures for him to sit.
Trip gives him a long-suffering look.
Phlox begins scanning him with the handheld device, his expression slowly shifting from curious to intrigued to quietly serious.
âHmm.â
Trip winces. âThatâs not the sound I want to hear.â
Phlox doesnât answer right away. He turns to a console and begins pulling up neural readouts, murmuring to himself.
Hoshi hops off the bed and walks over to join him. âWhat are you seeing?â
Phlox tilts the monitor toward her. âThis,â he says, pointing, âis a minor but persistent anomaly in the hippocampal formation. It shouldnât be here. Not unless heâs been exposed to some kind of temporal fluctuation field. Or maybe an advanced neural feedback loop. Possibly both.â
âIs it dangerous?â Malcolm asks.
âNot unless he gets stuck like this forever,â Phlox replies with too much enthusiasm.
Trip groans and drops his head into his hands. âGreat.â
âBut,â Phlox continues, âit is traceable. Which means we might be able to piggyback a signal into the loop.â
Trip lifts his head. âWait, like⌠send a message to myself?â
âExactly! Something simple. A mental anchor. Perhaps an auditory cue, a specific phrase.â
Malcolm straightens. âLike a code word?â
Hoshi snaps her fingers. âOr a piece of music. Something the brain latches onto.â
Trip looks between them, cautiously hopeful. âYou think thatâll work?â
Phlox smiles. âIt might not fix the loop, but it could stabilize your awareness. Give you a few extra minutes before the reset kicks in.â
âIâll take it,â Trip mutters. âGod, Iâll take anything.â
Phlox begins prepping the next scan. âIâll need to create a neurochemical marker to pair with the cue. Something distinct. Have you noticed any repeated sensations or memories that seem to trigger a reset?â
Trip hesitates. âUh.â
All three of them turn to him.
He looks away. â...TâPol.â
Another silence.
âOf course itâs TâPol,â Malcolm mutters under his breath.
Trip glares at him. âNot like that. Itâs just⌠whenever Iâm done talking to herââ
âTalking.â Hoshi repeats, with audible air quotes, sending her and Malcolm into a quiet fit of giggles. Trip is too far away to hit them so he settles for a deeper glare.
âWhenever Iâm done talking to her, it resets, right after. Itâs happened five or six times now.â
Phlox nods, unbothered. âEmotional stimuli can be powerful anchors. It makes sense.â
Trip crosses his arms. âItâs not emotional.â
Thereâs another round of giggling from the two officers on the bed.
âI swear to god, you two.â
Trip mutters something incoherent and looks like he regrets everything.
Phlox pats his shoulder. âLetâs focus on the brain, shall we?â
A slim neural sensor is attached to his temple, the wires then hooked up to a small machine that Phlox wheels over. Trip reaches up to prod at the sticky patch and immediately gets his hand slapped away.
âTry to relax, Commander.â
He resists the urge to glare â reminds himself that Phlox is in charge of all of his medical issues â and shifts uncomfortably. âThatâs a lot harder than youâre trying to make it sound.â
Phlox smiles in response. âI just need to tune the stimulus. The idea is to introduce a non-invasive echo traceâŚâ
Malcolm slides closer, leaning over Tripâs shoulder to peer at the device. âWhat kind of stimulus?â
âElectrical,â Phlox says. âVery mild.â
Trip rolls his eyes. âOf course itâs a shock. Of course.â
He shifts again, mumbling under his breath about invasive and cruel medical procedures. Malcolm pats his arm in mock sympathy â heâs smirking when Trip glances up â his hand resting briefly on Tripâs wrist.
Before he can take his hand back, the scanner wines, all the lights above them flicker and Trip just has enough time to see Hoshi glance up in surpriseâŚ
âŚand suddenly heâs back in bed.
The alarm that has been bothering him for seventy plus cycles blares in his ear and he slaps at it half-hearted. The room looks exactly the same when he sits up, and his head is pounding a rhythm he doesnât recognise.
âGod damn it.â
He shrugs on his uniform â taking note of the scar that had been pointed out to him â and exits, heading back towards the mess to re-explain the situation to Malcolm and Hoshi.
Except, when he stumbles over the step out of his room, Malcolm is already stood there. Squinting.
Trip pulls up short.
Malcolm is staring at him with a very un-Malcolm expression â something like disbelief, rapidly evolving into tightly coiled panic.
âUh, Malcolm?â
Malcolm squints harder. âTrip. What⌠what day is it?â
âOh hell.â
Malcolm steps forward, unheeding of the crewmen that are being forced to dodge around him. âTrip. WhatâŚâ he raises his hands to press them to his forehead. âYou said you were in a loop. You said youâd been stabbed. There was a scar. You told Phlox. I touched your wristâŚâ
âOh, good.â He replies, feeling suddenly optimistic about the situation, âyou remember.â
The grim nod he gets in response suggests that Malcolm is not feeling the same optimism. âWe pulled me in.â
The weight of that realisation hangs in the silence between them.
âWell,â Trip claps him on the shoulder, trying not to seem too relieved, âcongrats. Youâre in the club now.â
Malcolm doesnât smile. âHow do I make it stop?â
âYep. Thatâs the million-dollar question.â
Malcolm looks like heâs still computing the full implications. âYou mean to tell me Iâm stuck in this with you now?â
Trip shrugs. âUnless it was a fluke. Mightâve been the scan. Or the shock. Or the physical contact.â
They both pause.
Then Malcolm narrows his eyes. âIf itâs contact, then youâve been grabbing peopleâs arms this whole time, havenât you?â
The weight of TâPolâs name hangs between them for a moment.
âI mean, I also grabbed Hoshi at one point in the last loop,â he offers weakly, âand sheâs not alsoâŚâ
Malcolm cuts him off with a sharp breath. âOf course. Of course itâs me who gets stuck with you.â
The grin he gets in response is notably sheepish. âYou know, weâve looped together for thirty seconds and youâre already on the edge of losing it.â
âI am losing it.â He replies. âThis is going to be a nightmare.â
âYeah, yeah, come on. Weâve got things to test and I think we need to visit TâPol.â
Malcolm reluctantly falls into step beside him. âAnd I need to be there for that⌠because?â
âYouâre in the loop too.â
âWe have already established that.â
Trip shrugs. âMaybe youâre necessary.â
âHey,â
They both look up to see Travis heading toward them.
âOh, good.â Malcolm grabs his arm and drags him along with them. âYou can come too.â
âSure, yeah, where are we going?â
âSee TâPol.â Trip informs him. âOh, hey, you donât feel like youâve lived this day before, do you?â
âUh. No?â
âOk. Mal and I are stuck in a timeloop, so.â
âYouâre stuck in a timeloop,â Malcolm corrects, âand you dragged me in on the last reset.â
Travis glances between them. âAnd⌠why are we going to see TâPol?â
âBecause apparently, I keep looping out every time I talk to her. Sheâs probably connected somehow.â
Travis snickers slightly. âOK. Sure.â
âI hate all three of you.â
âHoshiâs not even here.â
âI donât care. I hate her as well.â
He gets another round of laughter from the two junior officers in response.
âAnd I hate this loop.â
The science wing is empty when they round the corner, only the difference in flooring signifying any change, and thatâs not unusual considering how early it is. Still, TâPol is already at the central console in her lab, scanning through data with her usual calm precision.
She doesnât look up. âI was not expecting visitors this early.â
Trip shrugs, despite the fact that she cannot see him. âWhat is early, really?â
That does make her look up. She stares at Trip for a beat, then shifts her gaze to Malcolm and Travis.
âWas there something you needed?â
Trip takes a cautious step closer. âListen, I know how this sounds, butââ Â
âYou have been experiencing repeated subjective time loops, originating sometime between 0600 and approximately 1600 hours,â she says calmly.
Trip blinks. â...Yeah.â
Next to them, Travis shifts. âJust me, huh?â
Heâs ignored.
âHow the hell do you know that?â
âI did not,â she replies. âUntil just now.â
Trip frowns. âBut you just saidââ
âI have inferred that data from your behaviour over the past⌠iterations.â
Trip and Malcolm exchange a glance.
âWait,â Trip says slowly. âYou remember?â
âI do not recall specific events. But I have experienced a growing sense of... dissonance. As though decisions I have not yet made are already exerting influence on my present state.â
TâPol ignores him. She finally gives Trip her full attention. âI believe our proximity during your previous visits may be relevant.â
âUh huh.â
He sounds strangled enough that Malcolm bothers to whack him between his shoulder blades, a move that is heavily not appreciated.
Trip rubs the back of his neck. âRight. About that. I may have, uh... shown up here a few times.â
Malcolm coughs. âUnderstatement of the year.â
TâPol tilts her head. âAnd how did those encounters typically end?â
Trip shifts. âHonestly? Usually with you telling me I was wasting your time.â
âI see.â
âAnd once you meditated at me.â
She pauses to think about that one. âI believe I was attempting to centre your perception.â
âI donât think it worked.â
Malcolm pokes him in the arm. âAnd the other thing. The, uh, initiationâŚâ
Trip stamps on his foot, hard enough that he cuts off partway through the sentence to make a pained groan.
TâPol does not react. âI recall that.â
âInitiation?â Travis repeats, in the background.
âWait, wait.â Trip brings both his hands up to his face in a misguided attempt to cover up the way he has flushed red. âYou, uh, you remember that?â
âI remember... the aftermath,â she says. âImpressions. Not full sequences. I believe the more emotionally charged the interaction, the more likely fragments are retained on a subconscious level.â
âOh,â Travis offers in the background, âso, the universe is powered by, like, awkwardness?â
Malcolm turns to laugh slightly at the phrasing, but theyâre ignored by the other two.
âWell, maybe if you remember it as well, we could get Phlox to hook you up with those sensors too.â
TâPol considers. âDid you get any useful information from those?â
âWe, uh, we havenât been back to sickbay yet.â
âI see.â
âHey,â Travis interjects, ignoring Tripâs mumbled threat that âthis better be useful,â âif multiple people are remembering, maybe we could use that as some sort of anchor. Or a control variable in an experiment.â
âIt would, however, require controlled repetition.â
Tripâs eyes widen. âYou want me to loop on purpose?â
She meets his gaze. âDo you wish to solve this problem or not?â
âYeah, Jesus, OK.â
Malcolm pats his shoulder. âHope you have fun.â
âAre you kidding? Youâre coming with me.â
TâPol turns back to her console. âIf we are to make use of the loop, we must synchronize our actions and isolate environmental constants. I suggest beginning with a 0600 meeting. Bring Ensign Sato as well.â
Trip nods. âGot it.â
TâPol pauses. âAnd Commander?â
âYeah?â
Her gaze is steady. âDo not attempt to recreate⌠the loop we mentioned earlier.â
Travis raises an innocent eyebrow. âHey, what happened in that loop?â
âShut up.â
TâPol glances back over her shoulder, as though sheâs expecting them to have already left. âYou have approximately seven hours remaining. I suggest you use them wisely.â
Trip sighs. âRight. Great. Timeloop team meeting at dawn. Fantastic.â
âWe donât have to do what she says.â Malcolm points out, once theyâre in the corridor. âYou could go back to trying to figure this out on your own.â
âNo. No, I⌠we should do what she says. I think this is⌠I think sheâs important.â
âIt could be that.â Malcolm agrees. âOr it could just be that youâre in love with her.â
Trip glares at him. âAre we doing breakfast or what?â
But the words set off something in his mind, a careful replay of everything that has happened, and he sits in silence for the rest of the loop. Thinking.
*
The alarm buzzes again. More times than he remembers counting, and he wake with a groan, the previous loop rattling in his mind.
When he sits up, he scrubs a hand down his face like he has almost every other time. But thereâs no frustration this time, no panic, just a slowly dawning realisation that heâs known for a while what he needs to do.
He gets up. Dresses slowly. Doesnât even curse when he stubs his toe.
TâPol is already there, of course. The room is quiet, dim with pre-shift lighting. She doesnât look up.
âI assumed youâd return.â
Trip enters without fanfare. His voice is softer than usual. âYeah. I think I figured it out.â
She turns to face him fully, leans back on the console. âOh?â
Instead of responding immediately he crosses the room, perches next to her so he doesnât have to look her in the eye, and feels her turn to look at him.
âYeah. This whole thing⌠I thought maybe it was about solving a puzzle. Or maybe it was science based, I mean Malcolm even asked if Iâd touched something recently, but I havenât.â
She listens, quietly, doesnât say anything.
âAnd⌠maybe it wasnât. I mean, Mal said something last loop, and I think he⌠it was something I was too afraid to admit to myself.â
She still doesnât say anything, and he turns to look, just to make sure sheâs still there.
He takes a breath, steps closer. âItâs⌠we work well together, right?â
âI would say so, yes.â
âRight. And⌠we got close, doing the neuropressure, right?â
âYes.â
âRight. So, um. I think⌠or, well, I guess I know, that I kind of fell in love with you. During everything.â
Sheâs very still. He canât even feel her breath on his face, like sheâs holding it for fear of spoiling the moment, and that more than anything gives him the courage to push on.
âThe⌠in the loop where we⌠yeah. Well, I didnât mean for it to happen, I wouldn't⌠not when I thought you couldnât remember, but⌠I did come back, trying to talk to you again. Over and over. Because I missed you. Even when you didnât know me.â
TâPol swallows. He watches the line of her throat bob as she does, and feels his body sway towards her without his input. She catches his shoulders with strong, warm hands.
âI have always known you.â
He laughs, a wet sound, from the tears that are forming in his eyes. âYeah, I guess you have.â
âYou believe this admission will break the loop.â
He shrugs. âMaybe. It was worth a shot, if nothing else.â
âAnd if it doesnât?â Her voice doesnât shake, but this close he can see something in her eyes â something scared.
âThen⌠I guess Iâll come back and tell you again. Maybe itâll be easier the second time.â
âTell me again now.â
He breaths out, presses their foreheads together and feels her hands come up to cup his face. âI love you. Iâm in love with you.â
Her thumbs brush away the tears that have slipped free. âI think I have been waiting for you to say that.â
âWell, thatâs something.â
TâPolâs expression softens almost imperceptibly. âIf this is the final loop, what comes next?â
âI donât know,â he says honestly. âBut I figure weâll find out together.â
She leans up, just briefly, to press their lips together. âPerhaps, we could start with breakfast?â
âOh?â A grin breaks out across his face. âAre you asking me on a date?â
She doesnât answer, but her hands linger on his face as she steps back, and when she turns, she waits just half a second longer than necessary before walking toward the door.
Trip follows, still smiling.
They find Malcolm, Hoshi, and Travis at a table â Malcolm clearly in the middle of a wildly unhelpful explanation, judging by Travisâs expression.
TâPol brushes her hand briefly against Tripâs arm. âCoffee?â
âYeah. Iâll go wrangle the children.â
Trip approaches the table. Malcolm narrows his eyes. âWhat happened? You look⌠different.â
Trip drops into a chair. âTried a new approach. Mightâve worked.â
âOh?â
He rubs the back of his neck. âTurns out all I had to do to fix time was confess my tragic, loop-breaking feelings. Classic stuff.â
Hoshi lights up. âOh my god, it was a feelings loop the whole time!â
Malcolm groans. âI told you it was a âgrow as a personâ loop.â
Trip points at him. âI hate that you were right.â
TâPol sets a coffee down in front of him, joining him with her own tea.
âWe will need to investigate whether the loop created external anomalies,â she says evenly.
âI should check the comm logs,â Hoshi says, already rising. âMake sure we didnât miss anything from Starfleet while you two were having feelings.â
âIâll come,â Malcolm says, standing.
Thereâs a beat. Hoshi kicks Travis under the table.
âHuh? Oh. Yeah. Iâll come too. You guys, uh⌠have fun.â
Trip watches them go. âSubtle.â
TâPol slides her hand into his under the table. âPerhaps not. But itâs nice they are thinking of us.â
He smiles. âYeah. I guess it is.â
Malcolm glances back through the closing doors, watching Trip and TâPol lean into each other over their mugs.
âSo,â he mutters, âdo we remind them that several of those loops technically violated about a dozen Starfleet regs?â
Hoshi hits his arm. âLet him have it. He got stabbed for this.â
Malcolm exhales. âFine. But if time starts fracturing again, Iâm putting in for immediate shore leave.â