to those who are learning to embrace their regression, overcoming shame, guilt and self loathing regarding their coping mechanism, allowing themselves time to grieve the loss or lack of a carefree childhood, and creating a safe space to heal their inner child—i’m so proud of you.
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let's talk about caring for a regressor with PTSD/trauma.
i think a lot of regressors would describe themselves as sensitive when they're regressed, which makes sense. but when that heightened sensitivity is engulfed in panic attacks and flashbacks? it's truly devastating to witness.
if you're a carer to a little one with PTSD/trauma, know that i'm proud of you and your kiddo knows how much you love them. i sometimes struggle with blaming myself for setbacks in my kid's recovery, and if anyone feels the same, i want you to know that i know you're doing the best you can. remember that you're not responsible for their healing, and although you truly want to be there for your little one, you deserve to have your needs met too.
of course, such low lows make the highs seem even higher; the mornings when your kid wakes up and says they had no nightmares; teaching them to use self soothing techniques; proving to them each and every day that you're not going anywhere... don't get me wrong. i would do anything to rid my kid of their trauma. but i wouldn't trade them for the world.
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Big Feelings: A Guided Journal Worksheet for Vent Regressors ☆
Journaling can be fun with lots of creative activities, but sometimes regression isn't as happy or bubbly as most journal prompts seem. Big Feelings can be especially hard and scary to work through in the moment when you're small and don't have the words to talk about them. Having the comfort of a caregiver and letting those feelings out in a safe place is good start, but not everyone has or wants a caregiver and working through the feelings is a big part that I don't see many people talk about in the agere space.
It helps to have other ways to show and get out your feelings when they get overwhelming, but some regressors need a bit more of a structured, guided way to make sense of the messy feelings in their head. My little Kokki is one of them, so I decided to put together some more guided questions for journaling through Big Feelings in a way that hopefully will feel safer and still maintain that small, more simple headspace to make it feel less scary to do. Something that a regressor could do on their own or with the extra guidance of a caregiver.
I may add more as new ideas come to me, and other caregivers are free to suggest additions as well. I hope they help!
☆ Big Feelings in Our Body
Sometimes we feel Big Feelings in different parts of our body—your tummy aches or your chest gets tight or your face gets hot. Where do you feel your Feelings right now? Draw a picture of yourself or your stuffie and color in the parts of your body where you feel your Big Feelings the most.
Think about the sorts of ways this Feeling shows up in your body. Is there a lot of energy in your body that needs to come out? Or is your body tired and needs a rest? Why do you think that your Big Feelings might feel differently in your body? What sort of Feeling do you think is making your body feel this way now?
Now that you know where your Big Feelings are in your body and what they might be telling you, you can do things to help it feel better. Tea or a small snack can help a tummy ache, or a cool washcloth can help soothe hot, teary eyes. What are some things you can do to help your body feel better? Draw or list some ideas that you can try.
☆ Big Feelings as Art
Some people like to associate their Big Feelings with certain colors, shapes, or things. What colors are your Feelings right now? Draw some shapes or things in that color that also remind you of this Feeling.
Think about how this Feeling might change the way you color. Do you scribble or draw neat lines? Do you press your crayon or marker harder or softer? Why do you think that your Big Feelings might change the way you do things? What sort of Feeling do you think is making you color this way now?
Now that you know what kinds of art match your Big Feelings and what they might mean, let's think about kinds of art that help you feel better. What colors feel safe to you? On a new page, draw some shapes and things in that color that also feel safe. How has the way you color changed to match what you're drawing now?
☆ Things that Cause Big Feelings
A lot of the time, Big Feelings happen because of something that happened around us to make us feel that way. It can be scary to think about these things, but learning what causes Big Feelings to happen can help you better handle those things in the future. It's alright if you're not sure, though. Recognizing what causes Big Feelings to happen is hard and takes practice.
What happened this time that might have caused these Feelings to come up? Was it one big thing or a lot of little things? Why do you think that made you Feel the way you did? Did it remind you of something that happened in the past? Or was it something new that caused bad thoughts?
What are some ideas you can do for next time to help keep yourself safe? Are there boundaries you can place or safe people you can tell to help you?
☆ Talking About Big Feelings
Talking about Big Feelings can be scary, but it's very important to communicate with the people you care about. If you feel safe doing so, try sharing these prompts and your answers with people you trust to open a discussion.
If you have one, share your worksheet answers with your caregiver and talk about why you answered the way you did. Brainstorm some ideas together on how you can communicate and handle similar Big Feelings next time.
If you'd rather not share your regression with other people, at a time when you're feeling bigger, you can take a look at your answers again to help you find your own words to talk about it with a friend in a bigger headspace.