#transstpd

stpd:

1. try to act odd or strange around other people, like you are uncomfortable or far from them.

2. limit the amount of people you are around, most cisstpd people dont have a lot of close friends or relationships

3. convince yourself that you are special or magic in a way, like you can control other people or you are better than others (can also be for npd)

4. persuade yourself into having delusions

dpd:

1. pick a person to cling onto to for a while, make sure you cant do things right without them

2. make sure nobody can leave you, obsessing over not being abandoned is a sign of dpd (and bpd as well.

3. dpd shares a lot of symptoms and traits in common with bpd, so studying up on traits of that can help as well

4. be hypersensitive to criticism and rejection

Paranoia. You don’t think everyone is out to get you, it's more of a background thing. Note seemingly neutral things: pauses, wording, glances, gestures, tone, as there might be a hidden meaning. “They didn’t say my name when they said goodbye. Probably intentional.” Events are about you or are hinting at something. Can be somewhat related to delusions.

Self isolation to avoid being paranoid. Which might seem contradictory to what you want to achieve, but that's the point of it. You stay at home, telling yourself that the outside is bad. When you go out, you focus on what others are saying and doing, think that they're watching you, fueling your paranoia.

You can want connection, but it's rather in theory, because in practice it feels confusing and unsafe, so tell yourself that others are secretly plotting against you or smth. You can disappear for a long time in your own home/room and don't go outside unless you really need to. If you're able to, order things so you won't go outside.

Discomfort with close relationships, regardless of whether you want them or not, which can come from paranoia and delusions. For example, believing you cheated, although you perfectly know you didn't. And in general relationships aren't something you're good at. You can connect with someone, but then push them away. Even with positive experiences, there's this worm in the back of your mind that keeps telling you that something isn't right, that you or them did/will do something.

Magical beliefs, superstitions and so on. See number plates on cars and think if it might be a hidden message. You may see horoscopes as stupid… but you'll check them just in case. Avoid certain thoughts just in case. Thoughts or actions feeling capable of influencing unrelated events. In some way those can be seen as delusions, they're just less intense.

Rituals. For example, you did something wrong, now you have to do the “undoing ritual”. Touch objects in a certain way and order. Breaking a ritual causes great discomfort. They're not comforting, as in “If I don’t do this, something will stay wrong or become worse.” It's just what you have to do. Avoiding certain words, numbers, or thoughts before important events. Doing things in a “safe” order before leaving the house. Whatever order that might be for you. Refusing to start something on the “wrong” day or hour. Small sensations are kinda like instructions. If X happens, it’s a sign to do Y.

Unusual perception. Not full hallucinations. Shadows, spunds and whispers but not really words, feeling watched, general visual distortion under stress like lights being too sharp, faces are uncanny.

“Weird” speech. Other: “Why didn’t you reply yesterday?” Response: “I meant to. But the day sort of… folded in on itself. You know how sometimes time doesn’t feel linear, just stacked?”

Other: “What did you think of the movie?” Response: “It felt blue. Not sad-blue, more like fluorescent blue. Like hospital lights. Which makes sense, because it was about control.”

Note that it's not word salad (that’s more schizophrenia) or constant paranoia speech. A lot of the time the speech is totally ordinary and the “weird” part usually shows up under stress, bad or good.

Flattened emotions, more rich inside. Got fired? Sucks but ok. Got a gift? Yay I guess. Favorite character appears? Going apeshit inside but appearing calm outside.

Self-identity isn't really stable. Be it gender, where you end and where the world starts, difficulty describing who you are and what you do to others without metaphors.

Insight. You know something is off and you question yourself constantly. Insight doesn’t automatically dissolve beliefs or feelings, especially if it's about delusions.

On a side note, stress is where the symptoms tend to show themselves the most. You can be like that while not stressed, it's just the symptoms intensify. You're aware that it all might be irrational, but the feeling doesn’t go away.

It's a personality disorder, therefore you should act like this pretty much 24/7

It's a part of schizospec, but it's not schizophrenia.