What isn’t inevitable is hero worship. What isn’t inevitable is making an idol of a comedian. What isn’t inevitable is seeing a comedian who didn’t seem hopelessly bigoted and deciding that they’re (nearly) perfect.

That’s not to say that anybody was necessarily wrong to fall for John’s good-guy persona. Contrary to what some people might tell you, being constantly vigilant that your fave could turn out to be a monster is not healthy. You are allowed to believe, based on the evidence available to you, that someone’s of good character.

(I’d like to draw attention back to what I said earlier: I was never invested in John. I have no idea if there were red flags in his standup. I’m speaking generally.)

What’s important is not to put people up on a pedestal. Do be critical of the performers you enjoy. Don’t worship your heroes.

Feel the pain that comes with parasocial disappointment, especially when that disappointment involves harming marginalized communities. (Those feelings are normal.)

Edit: I also don't see many people still upset about Sssniperwolf's blatantly misgendering a trans woman, and it was obvious if you saw that part of the video that she fucking meant it.

Some distinguished guests may remember when all characters were assumed heterosexual and straight unless they’d had a specific and inarguable coming out subplot in their canon, or canon was otherwise absolutely and incontrovertibly clear about their sexualities. 

And all the fic needed a “Prove he’s capable of loving a man, any man, this man” arc and also a “gay panic” arc where the characters panicked about “no homo? yes ... homo? GAY COOTIES??????” for the ship to be considered “in character”

And then a lot of people were like, “That’s shitty, let’s not do that.”  

And then a lot of other people (but not as many as we’d feared) were like, “Blah blah conservative Christian rhetorical fallacies blah blah I don’t approve of murder either but I still enjoy the mystery genre blah blah.” 

And some time passed, people stopped warning for m/m and f/f content (and started CREATING f/f content outside of Xena fandom, bless you Xena fandom)

And now it’s like we just assume everyone falls somewhere on the bi-pan-omni-multi spectrum unless they very specifically canonically have a Storyline About Being Exclusively Kinsey 6 Level Gay. (Or they very explicitly have a moment where they’re like “nah man, I wish but I’m straight. good luck though!” (the second moment is treated as “Yeah but fuck canon tho” and the first is treated as “and N’e’er a gender unlike their own shall approach romanic’ly” 

ANYWAY.

What I’m saying here is that I’m seeing a similar thing happen with gender right now. We’re coming out of a place where All Characters Are Considered Cis Unless They’re Explicitly Canonically Trans Or Are Played By A Trans Actor to a place of 

We Don’t Fucking Know Any Of These Characters’ Genders Unless They Say Something About It In Canon And If They Say “Cis” Well Then Fuck Canon We Create What We Want. 

It’s a little disconcerting to be cis and fannish while this sea change is taking place (I was conservative, Christian, and closeted while the previous seismic shift happened and I mostly closed my eyes and went LA LA LA while it did) but I’m glad the great genderquake of 20XX is going on. 

And our trans+ comrades getting a fan space that’s safer and more welcoming and more comfortable? Is WELL worth the lil disconcertion I (and other cis people I am looking at you too) have about it as cis people. 

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