The fact that there are people who want to have Epilepsy and read tips on it will never not disgust me. Like seriously. Yโall are fucking ignorant, ableist, and your identity is NOT in good faith.
Why? Because as someone who actually has epilepsy, it DOES hurt for me to see some people on tumblr want this damn condition. As Iโm struggling to get through a work week, as Iโm finally realizing I need accommodations, as Iโm feeling frustrated because I havenโt had a seizure since April 19th, and I already had two this month.
Remember yโall, when you have a seizure, out goes your ability to drive for at least a few months. Put yourself in a small town with no public transit, rely on family to get literally ANYWHERE - and then tell me youโre โtransepilepticโ.
I wasnโt planning to ever drive again, but that decision DOES affect my life and letโs say I chose to drive once it was legal. Well, in my state I would have been able to drive by July but BAM. There it goes again.
Have a seizure, and you cannot drive. Now you have to find other ways to get EVERYWHERE you canโt walk to. And if itโs pouring like it is for me today? Yeah, your choice is either walk in the rain and get soaked, take an Uber for a ride thatโs only 5-10 minutes and easy walking distance, or stay home.
Not everyone can rely on family or friends every single time they need to go somewhere, remember that.
And I know Iโm focusing on this part but itโs just ONE aspect.
I mentioned I had a rough week at work and I did. Have fun dealing with post-seizure depression and just overall triggered depression as you work for a suicide hotline. Have fun not being able to tell 99% of your coworkers WHY you are struggling so much this week because you canโt even the say the name of your condition (and as a side note, your mom hates this and doesnโt understand - she thinks it just means youโre ashamed even though you arenโt), so yeah, they respect that and itโs your right but it would be easier to talk to them if they KNEW. But you donโt, because you barely accept your condition to begin with. (The five stages of grief? Yeah, apply them here and put yourself permanently in between denial and acceptance, also anger and depression, and have a jolly good time.)
Oh donโt forget needing time off work! Because if youโre lucky like me, youโre going to be exhausted the next day and will need to sleep all day! Which means using a sick day, and in America most people are LUCKY to get two weeks. My friendโs partner gets five days. Total. Of paid time off and sick COMBINED. So yeah, have a blast balancing what little sick time you get with needing to care for your body because sometimes you cannot recover quickly for them! You likely donโt know that tonic clonic used to be called grand mal (donโt worry most people without epilepsy donโt know this and you know you donโt have epilepsy soooo) but with grand mal, you might end up in the hospital because you can injure yourself! Any seizure that involves convulsions puts you at risk of physical (even mental, if you hit your head and get a concussion) injury, but Iโm sure you havenโt thought of that part, have you?
Or maybe you have and you still want a condition that severely impacts peopleโs lives and can kill them, in which case youโre just ableist lmao, and insist that me being against people outright SAYING theyโre faking a disorder is somehow transphobic or Iโm โusing the same talking pointsโ as people against the trans community. Like stop stop STOP.
You know what the difference here is? Trans people didnโt choose to be trans, they canโt always come out of the closet because itโs NOT SAFE which surprise, might have a significant impact on their mental health. They donโt have a choice but to be closeted. Staying closeted STILL comes with consequences though. Coming out of the closet might come with consequences. Thereโs a reason trans people have such a high suicide rate.
As for the โtalking pointsโโฆthatโs just stupid because you people KNOW and SAY you donโt have this condition. You give each other โtipsโ for doing these symbols, or should I say FAKING the symptoms.
Me talking about the REALITIES of living with a disability is a desperate attempt to get you to stop romanticizing them. Me talking about the TRUTH of living with something like in my case epilepsy, is a desperate attempt to make you realize itโs NOT something you want.
IโM the one who didnโt have a goddamn choice for this condition. JUST LIKE trans people donโt have a choice to be trans and cis people donโt have a choice to be cis.
YOU fucking DO have this choice. YOU have the choice to get off Tumblr, out of this horrible echo chamber and ask yourself why the fuck youโre ASKING for TIPS FOR HAVING A SEIZURE.
Like for real, get off this hellsite and THINK about what youโre absorbing. This. Is. Not. Healthy.
And no, I donโt give a shit if youโre ~also disabled and okay with this~ because itโs not okay lmao. Like these are not good faith identities. Period. These people romanticize serious conditions, play into the idea that people with disabilities are faking theirs (especially if they suddenly become able to do things - โoh, jessy can do that, why canโt you?โ Disabled people hear that enough already), and simply ignore the reality.
Ugh. Iโm only writing this because Tumblr is a blog and a safe space to write, my therapist is sick today and canโt do a session with me, and I woke up still pretty sad and frustrated and then I thought of โtransabledโ people and decided to rant. Going to keep this public for now, might make it private later.
