#transamory

Transgender Women And The Post-Op Dilemma - What To Do About It

This post is not easy to write. I know many transgender women will dislike what’s written here. Even though some of what’s here comes directly from a transgender woman. So, reader, if you’re easily triggered, please skip this story. If you’re not, and you’re post-op and struggling to find a man, this story can help.

A lot of transgender women complain about men expressing their natural attraction to them. Yes, many of those men speak from their initial self-discovery. They’re just finding out about their trans attraction. So, like an adolescent, they communicate in hyper-sexualized ways. They behave like adolescents too.

Further, many of these guys’ interests often focus on pre-op transgender women. Now, that means nothing about a post-op woman’s ability to find a male partner. Plenty of men exist out there who will accept post-op transgender women. But such women must believe they exist. Otherwise, they can’t find the man who will love them. Even though such men exist.

Beliefs create reality

Everyone’s experience springs from one’s inner state. Our subjective worlds spring from and reflect our inner consciousness. Beliefs, conclusions, complaints…whatever word we call it…that inner reality gets reflected in our outer reality.

That’s why we at The Transamorous Network call the inner content of one’s consciousness “stories”. Changing one’s stories will eventually create reality matching the change. So when transgender women tell stories about trans-attracted men fixating on “female bodies with penises”, they create a reality consistent with that. One where they can’t find men who aren’t so-fixated.

Then, the women will double down on their beliefs. Their beliefs get proven “true”. Then they can’t see evidence to the contrary. Like this girl:

^^She’s doubling down on disempowering beliefs creating her reality. No wonder she can’t find any men who aren’t driven by porn to focus on penises.

Beliefs and their respective reality become so true, such women will challenge everyone to “prove them wrong”. But when someone does, they won’t accept it.

And this is where the dilemma of being post-op arises.

They’re not the same

No transgender woman’s happiness need depend on a man. Nor need it depend on any kind of partner. Not even a pet! Happiness also doesn’t require changing one’s body.

But many transgender women do change their bodies in ways that ease dysphoria such women feel. That’s a good thing. It’s great that medical technology exists to help with that. I support women who go “post-op”. But many of these women face the “post-op dilemma” when it comes to finding a male partner.

Usually such women want society to acknowledge them as women. I support their desire. Yet, such women aren’t willing to fully accept consequences which come with that desire. This is the “post-op dilemma”. For in getting what they want, they become, in the eyes of men, an option alongside cis-women. But only for men willing to consider that option.

The dilemma is, most men won’t. They won’t for many reasons, some justifiable, some not. Men who know a trans woman is post op, will always compare the woman to cis-women. Cis-women with naturally-occurring vaginas. In my opinion, a naturally-occurring vagina will always outperform a non-naturally-occurring one. I know this because I’ve experienced sex with a post-op transgender woman. But don’t take my word for it, check out this transgender woman’s perspective:

^^A transgender woman and her male partner both expressing their views on being post-op. They guy, btw, doesn’t fixate on her genitalia. He doesn’t care what’s down there.

I’m not saying trans women shouldn’t go post op. If that’s what y’all want, go for it, girls. But they should check their stories as they do! If they think men won’t want them because they don’t have a penis, they’re setting themselves up for trouble!

Get your head of your crotch!

There are a LOT of reasons why men are trans attracted. Sexual exoticism is an early aspect of trans-attraction. It will always fade though as a man understands his attraction. As they move into transamory, they lose that fixation. So if post-op women really want men, then they must first take their attention off of their crotches!

Here they are, complaining about men focusing on what they have or don’t have down there. Meanwhile, THE WOMEN ARE AS FIXATED ON IT AS THE MEN! In other words, the women are a match to men focusing on their crotch. Is it any wonder those are the only men they meet?

Getting out of the post-op dilemma is easy. It starts with stop paying attention so much to one’s crotch. Instead accentuate positive aspects of what such women bring to the table. Those aspects can overcome the functional disadvantage of one’s non-naturally-occuring vagina. And when post-op women stop focusing on their crotch so much, they’ll become a match to men who similarly aren’t bunged up about what’s between the women’s legs.

Again, transgender women’s focus on their crotches makes them a match to men equally focused there. I understand that may be a big part of their dysphoria. But again, dysphoria is a condition perpetuated by stories. Just like every life condition. 

Do what you must to ease your dysphoria. Just don’t stay bunged up on what you’re doing.

What else you can do

Besides, realize the vast majority of time spent with a partner happens outside the bedroom. Post-op transgender women can do a lot to discover men who’ll want them by focusing on other areas.

Like what?

How about developing one’s intellect, compassion, transparency and vulnerability? They can cultivate interests worth sharing with a partner. How about becoming a brilliant partner! That’s what I encourage clients do. In other words, become a great match to that great man you want! A man who is focused on things he’s interested in. Things having nothing to do with your crotch.

While they’re at it, how about developing a better appreciation of trans-attracted men? That way such women can understand where they’re coming from instead of hating them. Then they can help them overcome their myopic focus, rather than being triggered by it. 

Doing that will make such women better, brilliant partners. After all, transgender woman have issues. There’s no human who doesn’t. Real partners, not fantasies, help their partners become better. Real partnerships are two-way streets in that regard.

Taking these suggestions to heart will cause a post-op transgender women to become a match to the compassionate, transparent, vulnerable trans-attracted men out there; men who will find them attractive. No matter what’s between their legs. 

These men exist! I KNOW because I’ve spoken to many of them! I even know some in relationships with transgender women!

A hyper-focus on the post-op condition makes such men inaccessible though. I say this to post-op transgender women claiming no men want them: Take your head out from between your legs. Make your post-op status a non-issue. Then see what happens.

When A Transgender Client Offers Thanks For Her Happy Life

There are now several, but still a small number, of transgender women living their best lives after working with us The Transamorous Network. They’re sailing around the world with their lovers. One is reconnecting with family members who once disowned them. Another is creating their dream career. One credits this practice for keeping her from killing herself. Another today, lives her life empowered and unafraid. And others are coming into their joy as they create their love-life journeys.

Of course, trans-attracted men who once were clients are having their versions of similar lives. They’re finding joyful lives. They’ve also freed themselves from suicidal thoughts. And they’re proudly owning their trans-attraction.

I know what I offer my clients, whether transgender or trans-attracted, works. And yet, when a client offers their appreciation, it still warms my heart.

Such was the case yesterday. I happened to see a former client raving about her life on Facebook. I enjoyed seeing her living happily and made a quick quip about that. Here response was awesome:

And then today, immediately after another stirring client session, a current transgender client sent the following text message:

The woman above was struggling with her knee-jerk reactions to a trans-attracted guy she’s seeing. In one session we cleared that up. We also got her feeling empowered and excited again about this guy.

The head and heart

It’s always the case that our physical reality reflects back to us what’s happening inside us. Understand that and creating a life one loves is easy. The same goes with creating love lives. Tell the right stories in your head. Then your heart will received the satisfaction is craves. That’s the approach I take with clients.

It’s heartwarming seeing people I enjoy an affinity with improving their lives after discovering “stories create reality.” Receiving such messages never gets old. I only hope more transgender women discover the power, the empowerment that comes from realizing they ongoingly create their reality. Doing so, many women struggling with love, self-esteem and other inner conflicts can find freedom from all that.

Trans Women: This One Thing Creates Happy Love

A transgender woman who discovered The Transamorous Network on Medium followed our content. Then, just a couple days later, stopped following us after a brief exchange with me.

She wasn’t happy hearing she creates her reality through stories she’s telling. Instead, she wants to blame men, society…anyone other than herself.

I get it.

It’s challenging getting what I share because it requires owning the indisputable fact that everyone creates experiences in their lives. But once it clicks and a person sees how their experiences stem from their stories, it all starts making sense.

Then life gets really fun. Because the only one who can effect your life experience is you. In other words: You and only you create your world. That’s powerful knowing.

^^It’s not easy for people to accept that they create lives they experience. But no on else does it and it’s certainly not random. But once someone sees how it happens, then takes control of that, life gets really fun. (Photo by Engin Akyurt on Unsplash)

Results a person gets on the way to getting what they’re after indicate what they believe about what they’re after. It’s great knowing that too.

Because armed with that knowledge, results help shape beliefs more aligned with what one wants. Deliberately using this process, seeing it work the way it does, makes life fun. It also makes getting what you want really easy.

Nearly all my clients come thinking they want what they want. But when we examine beliefs they have about what they want, and about other things related to that (and not related), they see how, actually, contrary their beliefs are to what they want.

Why people give up dreams

Putting it plain: everyone’s life springs from what they say, think and believe about life. No one experiences something not in accord with their beliefs. That’s accurate for finding lost keys, enjoying ideal careers, changing personal characteristics, having a political system that’s fair and just…and having love however that looks.

Nearly everyone thinks they think consistent with what they want. But I assure you if that were true, dating sites, for example, wouldn’t be a thing. The only reason so many of us humans give up on our dreams, including dream lovers, is because we don’t understand what we’re doing that squashes those dreams.

I share the below screen shots a lot. The reason why: they show to a “T” how transgender women (and trans-attracted men) squash their dream relationships:

The same mistake over and over

The transgender women in those screen shots are doubling down on “evidence” they THINK tells them it’s the world “out there” creating circumstances that frustrate, confound and annoy them. It’s the men they meet, they say, who are to blame. Or it’s some other factor beyond their control.

In reality, it’s the doubling down on those beliefs that’s the problem. That’s why transgender women who say such things feel so bad when they say them.

They keep repeating the same mistake, rolling out all the evidence they think confirms what they think is the reason they can’t meet the man. They don’t realize that the reason they can’t meet the man is because they keep focusing on all the men they’ve met who have come and gone, men who are NOT the man, men who match and reflect stories they have – about themselves, about men, generally, about these men specifically, about dating, about what they want and whether they believe getting that is possible. These beliefs keep them from getting what they want.

The same thing is happening for trans-attracted men.

^^When you know what you’re really thinking, then your life gets easy. In the “easy” life gets fun too! (Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash)

Be the evidence

You just can’t get what you want when you’re telling stories all the time about what you don’t want. That’s what transwomen do when they say “I’ve been online dating for XX years and have contacted XX hundred men and…blah, blah, blah.”

Life doesn’t work that way.

My own life shows how accurate “the work” is. I write about my results every week on Positively Focused and here on The Transamorous Network. My life experience contains a ton of evidence how this works.

Don’t rely on evidence I produced though. Create your own. Be the evidence you want to see.

So it’s not about being “picky” about the men you want. It’s about what you think about the men you want, what you think about the men (or transgender women) you had, what you think about YOU.

What you think about what you think you deserve says a lot. How do you feel about being trans? That matters. How do you feel about life in general? That matters too.

Each of us comes into the world ready to create whatever life would thrill us. Transpeople especially.

^^Stories that have you feeling shame about yourself aren’t stories you wanna tell. They work against everything you’re wanting. (Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash)

You already knew this

But transpeople and trans-attracted people bring something more: an extraordinary ability to influence all of humanity. Because that which humanity comes from knows “trans”, as a phenomena, is a response to humanity wanting to know more about its potential.

But that “wanting to know” and the potential both are oppressed by bogus collective beliefs humans have about life, gender and a bunch of other things. You can see this by how resistant humans are to real progress and things that confront their beliefs.

Like many people, transgender people get kinda lost. They forget what I’m sharing with you although they knew it before they “incarnated”. Then they get insecure, begin thinking they’re unworthy, and in so doing, lose their influence.

Then they end up in various states of anxiety, frustration, worry, insecurity…the list goes on.

Some don’t stick around, chosing instead to pass back into nonphysical, the place from where they came, where we all come from, through what society calls “suicide”.

That is another bogus belief because every death is chosen, making all deaths suicides. Humans find that very hard to accept too. Just as some trans people can’t accept that they chose to be trans before incarnating and that choice was a magnificent one chosen by a powerful, world-changing, eternal being.

Everyone is SUPPOSED to have EVERYTHING they want. No exceptions. No one is keeping anything from anyone.

Exclusive: How A Full, Happy, Client Session Looks

I’m overjoyed sharing this video and appreciate deeply my client’s willingness to share it with you too.

It’s deeply touching watching what happens in this, unfiltered, full, lightly edited recording. I knew when we had it, it offered extraordinary insight into how telling better-feeling stories works.

As my client gets near the end of the session, you can see how deeply his new stories transformed his perspective.

A session anatomy

The client came to the session after spending the week in disempowering stories. As such, he characterized the week as negative, sharing only those experiences he had access to – those matching his lower level stories – as “proof” substantiating his experience.

This offered a wonderful opportunity. We practiced shifting his stories. As he told increasingly better-feeling stories, positive experiences he had during the same week, ones he didn’t mention, returned to his memory. That’s because as he improved his stories, he resonated to those instead of more negative experiences with which he originally perceived through his matching, negative stories. In doing so his mood changed completely.

This session illustrates so many powerful insights, the most important being: Telling stories that feel good creates better life experiences.

^^It's simple. Tell positive stories, get what you want.

What reality resonates?

The reality one experiences is the one with which they resonate. Life’s harmonics will draw to a person, experiences from the infinite matching that person’s stories or beliefs. He can access no other realities, even though they’re just as real. One’s experience therefore rests completely with what stories he tells. This includes relationship experiences, as well as who shows up in one’s life.

So if you want someone to love, but keep meeting toads or skeezers, the remedy isn’t on a dating site. It’s not in finding a different person. Your remedy lies in your stories.

Every reality exists simultaneously. By shifting one’s stories, through simple declarative statements, one finds oneself realizing totally different versions of the exact same reality they experience. Only details change because the better-feeling stories draw details matching them.

I love this work. I love showing people how to change their stories so they end up on track to everything they want.

But what fulfills me most is the jubilance I feel when I see significant positive shifts in people’s being. This happens in the video at 00:35:39. Especially when they see it too. That’s the payoff. That and the client realizing their life changed for the better, of course.

We’re all eternal. Getting what you want can happen all day every day. They’re sign posts along a never ending path of personal fulfillment and joy. Life’s purpose therefore doesn’t rest in getting what you want, although getting that really is fun.

Life’s purpose fulfills itself in wonderful, delicious, rambunctious feelings birthed from knowing you’re at the center of the Universe. You’re eternal, getting exactly what you create. Nothing beats that, as my client here shows.

Enjoy.

How Perfect Manifestation Makes For Great Results

It’s fun watching how my desires fulfill themselves. Even desires I want at one time, but then expand out of. These too still become my reality, whether I want them or not. When this happens, it proves what we talk about at The Transamorous Network.

Through such proof I also learn how to refine my story telling practice. That way I create more reality consistent with my desire. What happened recently offers a perfect example.

A couple years ago after my marriage ended in divorce, I needed a job. I manifested the perfect job immediately, with no effort, in perfect timing. That job set me up to never work a job again. (Links go to my sister site Positively Focused)

While working at that company though, I briefly aspired to management. At the time I saw pretty great potential in moving up the ranks, potentially rising quickly as that company grew.

But those thoughts came from old stories. Stories most people tell about what “success” looks like. In those stories, “career success”, “corporate success”, rising through the ranks and a big salary means success.

That kind of success though tends to cost a lot. One’s life balance, freedom, passions and authentic self-expression usually get squelched in such opportunities. I should know. I enjoyed just such success at a major utility and a high tech company spanning over 20 years. Both careers took their toll.

I’m glad I’m past that.

Be careful what you ask for…you might get it

Still, while at that big company, I got caught up in old beliefs. Other beliefs in that constellation had me doubt what I now no longer doubt. Those other beliefs told me pursuing my passions was scary, hard and hardly anyone succeeded doing that.

So one day, while doing my job, I told myself a story. I thought about how cool it would be to transition into management at this company. In telling that story, I created a future reality where the company invited me to apply for a position that opened doors to future operational leadership.

Then I forgot all about it. I didn’t “try” to “make it happen”. In fact until what happened next happened, I forgot all about that future reality.

That’s because during the ensuing short months at that company, several other desires fulfilled themselves. Those opened doors to where I am now, not working and instead pursuing my passions and allowing my Charmed Life.

Here’s what happened.

If it’s not a “hell yes!”

The other day I got an email. It came from a recruiter working at the company where I worked. The email offered me an operational leadership position. The position offered exactly what I wanted: open doors to greater leadership.

^^The email offering...

The email specifically said “this role is a stepping stone into operational leadership”!

At first, the email sounded interesting. But the more I thought about it, the less intriguing the opportunity felt.

“Why?” You may ask. “You manifested exactly what you wanted!”

True, I wanted that…a few years ago. Now, life and my desires changed. The opportunity sounded interesting. But interesting isn’t enough. I know if an opportunity doesn’t feel like a “Hell Yes”, it’s a “Hell no!”, no matter how good it sounds.

The real opportunity…

Given where I am, I wrote the sender telling him I wasn’t interested for several reasons. Then I thought about this experience and saw the gold in it.

I thought about the mechanics of this manifestation, what I did, or more important, what I didn’t do, and how it unfolded. Here’s what I saw:

I created the desire our of my then, now, the told the story of that desire

The desire felt exciting at the time and I had sincere interest in it.

Then, I totally forgot about it. I didn’t stew on it, I didn’t do any processes to amplify the desire or the fulfillment, I used no affirmations. I let it go.

This is important: Fulfillment took a while. During that time I felt no impatience about getting anywhere, which allowed me to relax and let things unfold.

As a result of all the above, the story manifested into a reality, with me not doing anything to “make it happen”.

This result typifies what I’d call perfect manifestation technique. No focus on “when” or “how”. No trying to make it happen. Total surrender and…fulfillment…with no effort on my part.

This manifestation also lets me know just because a manifestation fulfills itself doesn’t mean I need to step into it. Manifestations represent sign posts along my unfolding path to expansion, which has no end.

That means I face continual streams of unfolding desires, some I’ll embrace, others I’ll pass by.

What Happened After Meeting His Perfect Trans Lover 😰

Some trans-attracted…strike that…nearly every trans-attracted man struggles with patience. Transgender women do too. Because they struggle, their choices invite much pain and drama. Especially in relationships.

Or, they hide. And in their hiding, they lead minuscule lives compared to what they could live.

This post tells of a client learning how not to live that way. He still struggles though, because he hasn’t yet mastered how to live differently. He’s on his way though.

His story still contains value for transgender women and trans-attracted men striving for love. So I’m sharing it knowing it will help a lot of people.

“Jeffrey” came to The Transamorous Network 12 months ago. He struggled with dysphoria and trans-attraction, living authentically and finding love. Cis-women relationships never worked out and his life, as I said above, was very small.

What’s more, Christian beliefs kept him in a nearly continuous state of self-judging his desires and his life choices as wrong and bad. Those religious beliefs combined with equally disempowering beliefs adopted from his family upbringing. Latter beliefs made him feel financially responsible for his family, but at the same time resentful towards them when, in his opinion, they spent frivolously.

It doesn’t have to take long but often does

Jeffrey spent 11 of our 12 months together denying his unhappiness. He filled our time talking about lighthearted topics and tangents. All the while he avoided what he really wanted to talk about. Things such as his trans attraction, his sexual activity preferences and his discomfort in his religion.

Whenever I brought those up, he stammered, hesitated, went quiet or humorously changed the topic. I never pressured him because I knew he needed to build trust.

It doesn’t have to take 12 months to see progress so impressive clients double down on what they’re learning. But Jeffrey’s unworthiness, lack of deservedness, the belief that he is a sinner and condemned to going to hell because of what he feels and wants, made quick progress impossible.

For the average client, impressive evidence comes immediately. Once seen, clients eagerly progress. They create lives they love. Seeing that happen, they relax into their lives and lose that frantic “doing” mode born of impatience.

After all, when one sees their life improving at an incredible rate, when they feel better than before, relaxing becomes easy. They know, in time, they will have everything they want. That’s because they see evidence of everything becoming the way they want. Easily and effortlessly. Like the trans woman in this audio who also is a client:

Jeffrey wasn’t an average client though. So he struggled a long time. This included, as I said above, making choices that were not in his best interest, even though I frequently suggested he not make such choices.

Online dating: never the best way

One of those choices involved searching for his partner through online dating. Online dating, despite its popularity, brings many challenges. I’ve written about this before so I’m not going to go into those.

What I will say is, often, nearly always, online dating feels like drudgery, monotony and hard work. A person can’t possibly feel good wading through all those profiles, many of which overstate people’s strong points and skip over people’s baggage.

Now consider nearly everyone else on such sites feel similarly. And while a majority of online daters report positive experiences,nearly every match reflects that desperation. That may be why nearly half of people using such sites say their experiences leave them feeling frustrated.

Maybe that’s also why only 12 percent of online dating matches result in long term relationships or marriage. The figure is near double that for LGBTQ identified people. But 20 percent is still a small number.

Feelings making dating doubly tough

Like everyone else, Jeffrey’s desperation compounded with desolation. His last relationship, with a cis gender woman ended more than 20 years ago. He knew he wanted a transgender parter. But his stories about himself as a trans-attracted man and about transgender women made finding her difficult.

For example, he believes trans-attractive men use trans women as fetish objects. In other words, he does not believe his trans attraction is wholesome and natural. He also judges harshly his own desire for trans women who enjoy using their penises. Jeffrey’s religious beliefs played an important role in his struggles too. Such strong stories, with their accompanying condemnation, directly conflict with his desire.

All of these stories created within Jeffrey strong emotions, all of which told him something. But up until the 11th month, when he finally had what he thought was a good shot with a trans woman, Jeffrey did not understand what his emotions told him.

Insecurity, trepidation, anxiety, unworthiness, self-reproach, embarrassment, and shame boiled in him like a message cocktail. But he couldn’t decipher the messages.

Anytime someone feels such emotions, action should never top the “to do” list. A better approach involves addressing stories creating these emotional responses. Only then can one avoid drama created through stories creating those emotions. We talk about this all the time in The Transamorous Network material. Here’s our into video explaining our accurate premise:

Jeffrey meets his perfect match

As I said though, many men who find themselves attracted to transgender women struggle with impatience. Transgender women do too. Both parties don’t understand what we talk about at the The Transamorous Network. So instead of finding love they want, they instead try to “make” relationships happen while ignoring stories they tell keeping relationships they want from showing up.

That’s what nearly everybody does while using online dating sites. They double down on existing stories then get what such stories create.

No wonder so many online dating users experience frustration. 🤷🏽‍♂️

One day Jeffrey came to his session super happy. The dating site he used matched him with a transgender woman. I knew immediately this spelled T-R-O-U-B-L-E. He had done nothing about his stories. I knew she matched Jeffrey perfectly. But that wasn’t a good thing.

If you read everything up until this point, and you read other material from The Transamorous Network, you know everyone a person meets is a match to who they meet, the person they’re meeting matching who they’re being at that moment. So if a person doesn’t do anything about their stories, who they meet matches them perfectly, including disempowering stories they currently hold true for themselves.

Think about stories Jeffrey believed. Now just assume for the moment, what we say is true: you create your reality, including relationships, through stories you tell. If that’s true, and it is, you can guess how this new relationship went…

The honeymoon ended…quick

In session, Jeffrey shared things he liked about this person. Let’s call her “Alice”. He liked her extreme femininity. He adored how passable she looked. She said all the right things in text messages and phone calls. She had good employment as he does. Alice also enjoyed having and using her penis.

Needless to say, right away, they connected. And of course they would – they were a perfect match! Especially they’re stories!

Jeffrey raved about hours and hours they spent on phone calls and text message conversations. Such conversations became hours-long video calls. “We have to plan when we talk to each other because our talks last so long,” he once said excitedly.

Video calls turned into an in-person meetup. Alice and Jeffrey both felt excited. Jeffrey talked about it the session before they met.

While their date approached, Jeffrey felt insecurities surface. Valiantly he used what he learned in his sessions, which allowed Jeffrey a nice win:

^^Jeffrey using what he learned in his sessions to soothe negative stories.

Pain and drama: been there, done that

Then Jeffrey came to the session after his date excited and happy. It went very well. Too well, some might say. Instead of taking it slow, both he and Alice “went all in”, literally staying in the hotel room the entire weekend having sex.

Both reported enjoying their time together, according to Jeffrey. But not long after that eventful weekend, insecurities born of negative stories in both parties surfaced. Despite the reported wonderful time both enjoyed, their insecurities caused Jeffrey and Alice to interpret the weekend anew. It sounded like a different weekend altogether!

Alice accused Jeffrey of using her. Jeffrey worried out loud about Alice’s drinking and her tendency to try to force Jeffrey to drink more than he wanted. Alice felt Jeffrey judged her the whole weekend. Jeffrey felt angered because Alice at first put him on a pedestal but now had kicked that pedestal out from under him.

Jeffrey went even further in his worries. He wondered if her drinking and her blistering critique of certain American populations indicated a potential relationship red flag. Alice went further too, by blaming Jeffrey for taking time away from her GED studies!

In other words, both parties shared similar and complimentary negative stories. Stories which triggered negative interpretations about the other party. The honeymoon: over before it began.

Wonder what a perfect match looks like when a person doesn’t attend to their negative stories? Here you go:

^^Jeffrey doubling down on disempowering stories. Stories about himself, about transgender women, and about Alice.

It gets worse before it gets better

Days later, Jeffrey wanted to cancel his session. Things turned worse for him and for he and Alice. The unraveling relationship triggered other stories Jeffrey has about himself and relationships, stories he thought he resolved long ago. I encouraged continuing with the session knowing it would do him good.

^^Jeffrey wanting to bail, then realizing a new approach.

Jeffrey didn’t realize it, but this experience offered tons of opportunity. Hopefully you see the opportunity. Not only did his relationship show him how his stories created the match he experienced with Alice, it also surfaced other stories he has about himself. Stories he absolutely MUST change if he wants a relationship that lasts.

We touched on this in our next text exchange:

Not long after this exchange, the after our session, Jeffrey’s mood improved. Out of that improvement he saw more clearly how his stories created everything he experienced. I wasn’t shocked, but at the same time I was. Here he had a roller coaster relationship, lasting less than a month and he learned so much.

Weeks after Alice and Jeffrey stopped talking altogether, Jeffrey confided that he would no longer use dating websites. He also resolved to double down on his practice through The Transamorous Network. This experience, he said, showed him with no doubt how his persistent stories created everything he experienced with Alice. He also saw how her stories did the same for her and how both their stories created their mutual experience.

Moving forward in his power

Today Jeffrey confidently comes to each session transformed. He’s more upfront and clear about his stories, especially about what he enjoys and what he wants in a relationship. This clarity also spills into his other life areas, just as we promise the work does.

The Transamorous Network invites people to look at a new way of creating their relationships. That new way includes more power and capability than doing it the way everyone else does.

But this new way works on all life areas, not just on relationships. That’s why clients report their entire lives get better in addition to getting new perspectives on relationships they want. Impatience disappears and in its place comes certainty, self-love and clarity about one’s power in life.

From there, and only there, can someone create a relationship worth having. That’s what we want for all trans-attracted men and transgender women. For in transforming what’s possible for these two groups in the realm of relationships, entire lives also transforms for the better.

This is what we guarantee and this is what clients get. Having that includes, of course, finding one’s perfect match easily and effortlessly.

How Following Happy Impulses Creates A Happy New Life

I created an awesome blessing last night (at the time of writing this). I listened to my inner guidance coming from my positive stories and discovered joy at the end of that journey. It was the most clear demonstration of what we say is possible at The Transamorous Network.

We say stories create reality and any story told often enough will create reality consistent with it. In addition to telling the story though, the story teller must also tune into impulses they receive, then act on them.

What do those impulses sound like? It depends on the listener.

How does one hear them? That question carries more weight than the former.

A client answered that second question during his Client sessionrecently. He did so using a colorful analogy:

“In New Mexico, where I’m from,” he began. “We have massive hot air balloon festivals. Huge balloons of all shapes and sizes and colors fill the sky.”

Apparently these brightly colored rubber sacks come shaped like stage coaches, animals, houses and more. These festivals draw such balloons from miles around.

“When these balloons start out they stand where they are, in New Mexico,” my client said. “As they rise, they go straight up into the air, but they’re still in New Mexico.”

^^Some crazy balloons that show up at these festivals.

The stream carries them to their dream

But then they hit the air stream high above the ground, he said. The air stream carries each balloon on journeys fulfilling their purpose. The balloonists have a general idea where they’re going, but little control. My client made the connection:

“I see when I raise my perspective through telling positive stories, I feel better about where I am. My spirit rises, I connect with my Inner Being stream and my Inner Being stream carries me to the next wonderful place. Just like balloons get carried by the airstream.”

“I don’t know what that journey looks like,” He added. “But I do know the view will be beautiful, the journey joyful and when I land, I won’t be in New Mexico anymore.”

I loved this beautiful analogy comparing tuning into Inner Being awarensss to hot air balloons merging with Earth’s invisible airstreams. Those airstreams represent hearing one’s impulses.

Hearing them requires elevating my awareness to that of my impulse communication. The impulses exist. My job: elevating myself so I tune in.

For my clients and I, tuning in means telling positive stories about everything.

These days, tuning takes priority, over income, jobs and relationships. No kidding. My marriage ended because I prioritized my relationship with turning in over my wife, for example.

Most won’t do that. Which is why I’m having the life I’m having. Most don’t get everything they want comes through one relationship only: the one between bodily existence and one’s eternal, nonphysical existence. Human relationships give relatively little in comparison.

Anyway, these days, I’m so tuned in I hear impulses constantly. But just because I hear them, doesn’t mean I follow them… 🤷🏽‍♂️

Which is what prompted this post

Last night (at the time of writing this) I finished engaging in my wonderful daytime passions, creating content and leading my team at Copiosis, Creating video content for Positively Focused , and creating films and illustrations for Positively Focused. It was a glorious day I intended ending by watching something on Netflix.

^^Catching God's voice means tuning into God's stream of consciousness. Just like balloons rising to Earth's air streams. (Photo by Aditya Vyas on Unsplash)

But I had a feeling something more wanted my focus, something more thrilling, more satisfying. So there I sat on my couch scrolling through Netflix, when I felt pressure to look over at my desk. My desk sits configured for content creation. On it sits a camera, stand and computer all ready to go.

One thing I created with this rig is a Positively Focused short film called Life is More Than Meets The Eye. Earlier in the week, through another impulse, I figured out how to turn my voice into the female voice I wanted narrating this short film. Other impulses diverted me, but now, I felt compelled to resume post production.

But I also wanted to watch something on Netflix!

I felt pressure in both directions, both I knew led to something good. I even sat there a good ten minutes feeling out both options. Heck, I even said out loud “I have mixed energy, I want to watch Netflix, but I also want to work on my short film.”

My impulses don’t tell me what to do. I am a free, eternal being after all. But they do clarify which path offers the most fulfillment. Any path leads to fulfillment eventually, so choosing is never a problem.

But some choices offer more fulfillment than others.

A Netflix fail leads to better

I decided I’d watch Netflix. I started a movie featuring Michael Peña called “Extinction”. It started ok, but the longer into it, the worse I felt. I still felt the “pull” of my film work. The impulse told me something more stood available over at my desk!

^^My desk configured for content creation.

But determination to finish this movie compelled me while at the same time the film’s poor story line left me increasingly unsatisfied. Then one twist that caught my attention. From there, slight interest surfaced, but God’s voice kept urging me to my desk.

Finally, the movie ended. I surrendered, headed over to my desk and opened my editing software. The moment I engaged with my short film project, I felt something remarkable.

A HUGE energy surge welled up within me. I got totally immersed in my project. So much so I worked, and worked and worked! It was crazy!

The movie was 90 minutes long. Two hours after first sitting at my desk, I still wanted to continue. Only now, my Inner Being was sending different pressure: GO TO BED the feeling said. 😂 That message grew in intensity as 11:30 pm rolled around.

I give a name to moments like this. When I don’t heed the call of my Inner Being, but then go after a while, I call that going “kicking and screaming” toward where impulses want me to go. I want to go, but for whatever reason – stubbornness, inertia, or just laziness – I don’t.

Then, eventually I do.

In both instances that evening, finally surrendering showed me how profoundly satisfying following my impulses feels: When I woke the next morning, dreams and the ecstasy I felt from being in dream scape convinced me following impulses is always a good idea.

When doing it wrong creates right

I know now following that impulse ASAP is important. In many cases, when I get an impulse, acting immediately is crucial. That’s because, in those times, I’m the last of many “cooperative components” converging on a coordinate in time and space. Take too long and I arrive late to the rendezvous and miss the delightful surprise.

Tonight responding quick wasn’t so crucial. My film wasn’t going anywhere. My bed wasn’t either. But both proved excellent clarifying experiences. Through them I understood, with unmistakeable clarity, several lessons:

I can’t get it wrong. Fulfillment is available whatever I do, but some of what I choose contains more fulfillment than others.

Universe got my back. My Inner Being always leads me to what I want. I need to make sure though that I’m tuned into it and not something else, such as a belief that’s contrary to what my Inner Being knows.

The more I’m tuned in, the easier it is to hear impulses next time. Knowing what tuned in feels like opens doors to more of that feeling.

My passions, in this case expressing my art and my fascination with dreams, offer more satisfaction and joy than any other pursuit. Passions always contain delight. Other activities – maybe, maybe not. Certainly not as potent as my passions.

There’s still joy in watching Netflix. Apple TV too. Streaming services offer so much compelling entertainment. I know I can choose either path and find fun.

Trans-Attracted Men: Don't Hate On Your Love

Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy.

Dear The Transamorous Network,

I’ve been on the site and after I put a reply to the topic of being trans attracted while being married, I looked at some earlier exchanges, most notably from two cisgender women who are wives of men who are trans attracted. Their responses were striking. It made me question my place in this community because I do not share some of the sentiments. Yes, I do have the shared attraction to trans women, however I am not in a situation where my wife doesn’t fulfill my needs. Nor do I compare my wife to trans women. My attraction to trans women is just that, an attraction. I’ve noticed this about myself, however I have no desire to act on it. I also have an attraction to Asian women and have for years, however again, I have no desire to act on that either nor do I compare my wife to Asian women. I do not judge the men who feel differently and I do not consider myself any better than them, but I am beginning to question as to if this is the right community because my opinion on this matter may not be received well. I feel that some may jump to the conclusion that I may be in some moral high ground based in religion, however that couldn’t be farther from the truth because I am an Atheist and proud to be. My opinion about this topic is MY opinion and I wouldn’t want anyone to perceive that everyone should feel the same way. It’s just that I’ve been on the receiving end of comparison by someone that I’ve trust my heart to and it only adds to the self-hatred. So I totally empathize with [The women] from [the comments section] and I feel bad that they are going through what they are describing. Anyway, thanks for listening.

Austin

Dear Austin,

Thanks for your letter/email. Yes, the responses from cis women who discovered their husbands were/are trans attracted are striking. No doubt about that. That said, their comments have nothing to do with or have anything to say about whether or not you have a “place” in the “community” that is The Transamorous Network.

Just because there are divergent opinions doesn’t mean one opinion is better than the other. Nor does it mean that one opinion gets to say whether or not another opinion belongs. You have contributed greatly to the conversation and I would encourage you to continue to do so.

Who cares if somebody jumps to the conclusion that you have some sort of moral high ground? Isn’t that their story? That has nothing to do with whether you actually do or not. Or whether you believe you do or not.

What people are going through is what they’re going through. The women complaining about their husbands likely have a lot more happening than their men being trans-attracted.

What they’re going through is a result of the stories they are telling themselves. Period. There’s no doubt in my mind that both woman knew what they were getting into at some level. It may not have been conscious of it, but they knew. That’s because everyone is a match to whoever they’re meeting. If this weren’t accurate, then what I share with clients would not work.

But what I show my clients does work, 100 percent of the time. So it must be accurate that wives of trans-attracted men, at some level, knew about their husband’s trans attraction.

The fact that they are blaming their husbands just shows how much they continue concealing what they knew from themselves.

Stick around. Or not. Either way do it from an empowered place, not from feeling you must leave because others aren’t happy with what you share.