#traffic violations

Villain swept the whimpering mess that was Hero into their arms and carried them in a bundle out to the car.

…

Traffic. Of course, there was traffic. Villain’s white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel tightened even further. What were all these people doing out, anyway? Didn’t they know Hero was sick and needed treatment yesterday?

Traffic had come to a complete stand-still. Villain took a deep breath through their nose and set their car in park. They slid their clothes off to reveal their villain suit underneath. After putting on the mask and gloves, they pressed a button on their keys that flipped the license plates to a fake combination.

Villain calmly, quietly opened the sunroof. They climbed onto the top of their car and spoke into a sound amplifier on their keys.

“Good people of City,” they announced, “this is Villain speaking. Yes, that Villain. I have been sitting in this traffic for much longer than my patience can handle. Unless you want this entire street turned to rubble, I suggest you move your vehicles out. Of. My. Way. Now.”

Horns honked and tires screeched. Villain sighed in relief, then climbed back into the driver’s seat. The cars in front of them parted like curtains of metal and rubber. It was a lovely sight to behold.

Villain’s satisfaction faded at the sight of the red light. They rolled down the window and produced their gun. The bulb shattered into bits from the bullet that rammed into its center. Villain put on their turn signal and made a right.

Hero’s whimpering had slowed down. All was quiet save for the peppy music playing softly through the speakers. Villain turned the volume down further, glancing in the rearview mirror.

Hero was out cold.

In that moment, Villain achieved an unprecedented record of breaking every possible traffic law in the city in under five minutes. Their car drifted to a halt in front of the hospital entrance, leaving tiny flames in the tire tracks behind it.

…

Hero floated across the surface of a warm river. Where it was taking them, Hero didn’t know, nor did they care. The sun peeked out from behind the clouds, getting brighter and brighter until…

Hero’s eyes fluttered open and squinted at the fluorescent lights overhead. A gentle, albeit mechanical, hum was the first sound to greet them, followed by a steady beeping. Their arm felt cold; looking past the goosebumps, Hero found out why. A catheter had been inserted into it, and fluids were dripping into their system. A strong puff of air forced its way past their lips and nostrils. Their lungs filled, and Hero exhaled.

Wait. No. No no no no no. Hero knew exactly where they were. Darn it, this was the last place they needed to be! Where was Villain? Hero looked around; as soon as they saw them, they were going to give them a piece of their mind so big they would choke on it!

When Hero’s gaze landed on Villain, any trace of anger melted away. Unlike Hero’s, Villain’s eyes were red and puffy, with a gloss over them that suggested they were more wet than usual. They sniffled, then stiffened suddenly. They shook their head and produced a familiar, roguish grin.

“Welcome back, Hero,” they said.

“Are you okay?” Hero whispered hoarsely.

Villain’s smile faltered. They tried to hold the expression for as long as they could, but their lower lip started to tremble and tears welled up in their eyes. Villain cursed, looking away and putting a hand over their mouth.

“Villain?” Hero asked, trying to sit up.

Villain pushed them back down with their free hand.

“What do you think?” Villain choked, “you almost died on me!”

“Don’t exaggerate,” Hero said, though not harshly.

They rested their hand on Villain’s arm.

“I don’t feel great, I admit, but-”

“Hero. You’ve been unconscious for two days. Three if you count this morning.”

Hero’s eyes went wide.

“The doctors weren’t sure if you were going to make it,” Villain said, swallowing, “they- they- dang it, Hero!”

Villain broke into full sobs at that point. Hero felt long tendrils of guilt twist in their stomach.

“I’m sorry,” Hero said in a small voice.

“You should be!” Villain snapped through the tears, “none of this would’ve happened if you’d’ve just-”

Villain’s gaze softened when they met Hero’s.

“Sorry,” they muttered, wiping their tears, “I’m good now. Promise...but, please- don’t ever do this to me again. Got it?”

Hero made a feeble attempt to nod. They were still a bit out of it, so they weren’t really sure what they were agreeing to, but if it made Villain stop crying, Hero would concur with just about anything.

“Good.” Villain’s body relaxed just a little.

They reached down to where Hero couldn’t see, and set two plush dolls on their bed. One was of Hero, and the other was of Villain.

“They make merch of us now?” Hero chuckled.

“Heh, yeah,” Villain said, “I thought they were kinda cute. If you don’t like them though-”

Hero clutched the Villain plushie protectively.

“Back off, they’re mine,” they said.

Villain laughed, probably for the first time since the ordeal started.

“I don’t need two, though,” Hero said slowly, “you can have this one.”

Their hand trembled as they reached for the Hero doll, but they eventually managed to set in Villain’s lap. Villain’s ears became tinged with red.

“Thanks,” they said quietly.

“You don’t want it?” Hero tilted their head.

“Of course I want it! However…”

Villain clutched the doll close, then leaned over Hero. They took the Villain plushie back, despite Hero’s weak protests, and held the dolls up to each other.

“If you weren’t on a ventilator, this is what I’d like to do.”

Villain took one doll in each hand and brought them close, their embroidered lips touching for just a moment. Hero’s entire face matched Villain’s ears.

“O-oh,” they said.

“Mhm.” Villain grinned.

Hero took the Villain doll back, along with the Hero one.

“If I wasn’t on a ventilator, this is what I would do.”

They made the dolls hug, then had the Hero doll pepper the Villain doll in more imaginary kisses.

“Yeah?” Villain asked, their grin turning into a complete, wide smile.

“Yep,” Hero said.

“Let me get the doctor,” Villain said, “we’re getting that ventilator off right now.”

As it turned out, the doctor wouldn’t let Hero off of the ventilator for at least a few more hours, but as soon as the mask came off, Villain’s mouth practically crashed against Hero’s. They didn’t care that Hero’s lips were chapped like lizard’s skin, and they didn’t mind that Hero probably had hospital germs now. Heck, Villain wasn’t even worried about getting pneumonia themselves. It was all worth it for that kiss.

...

Epilogue- One Week Later

Hero set the picnic blanket down across the roof while Villain approached with a heavy-laden basket. They sniffled a little and hid a cough in their elbow.

“Villain-”

“I’m fine.” Villain said.

“Villain,” Hero warned.

“Ugh. I’ll call Medic right after lunch.”

Hero smiled, grabbing a sandwich from the basket.

“Good.”

Villain took a strawberry and popped it into their mouth.

“You have no room to talk, you know,” Villain said, “you are a terrible patient.”

“Hm.” Hero shrugged.

They watched the birds fly between the buildings while fluffy, white clouds drifted overhead. The Hero and Villain plushies sat together, propped up against a pitcher of lemonade. Their smiling faces and rosy cheeks matched those of their living counterparts as they talked about anything and everything with each other, the chatter only interrupted by the occasional cough or a fit of giggles. When Villain got home, they would get a proper scolding from Medic, but until then, it was just them, Hero, and whatever feelings were developing between them.

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