This isn’t the love I had prayed for my whole life. Like to be honest with you, this isn’t love period. I was abused growing up as a child. I was raped, molested almost every day from age 4-9. At age 9 CPS stepped in and removed me due to an incident where a spanking went tooooooo fkn far on school grounds in the nurses office, initiallly it was because I did something bad, (forged a check to buy reading books from the school book fair) very bad on my part, but tbh I wouldn’t have gone that far myself. I guess being a child of abuse, you don’t want to be that same monster to the ones who see you as their hero. My whole life struggling, trying to find this love that im starting to believe only exists if you’re rich, only exists if you aren’t trying to build with another person
