I love your fics so much - every one of them, really, but my top favorite is still Raider Joel...
There's one idea I can't get out of my head: how would he react if Sweet Pea had a special talent, such as being good at drawing, and he discovered sketches and drawings of hers. Of course she would have drawn him (would he be moved by the way she sees him?), Carter, the dog and there would also be a portrait of Jack. Would he understand that drawing is part of her processing trauma? Or would he be angry that she still thinks about Jack? What do you think? Somehow I want to believe he gets her pens and paper...
Drawing Joel, I imagine she'd pick up on little details he's not even aware of. Maybe he's flipping through them and he lingers on one where there's this gentleness in his face, and then below the detailed bust it fades to the basic silhouette of his body and it's clear he's holding someone even though she isn't depicted, she's just kind of a shape 🥺. Something she wasn't bold enough to visualize in detail but still knew she belonged there. I think Joel would be moved by that.
Now, what if she drew something a little sexier of Joel, baring more of his body. Going so far as a detailed map of his scars as she sees them. And then, ever so faintly, her name, right on his bare chest, so light he has to squint to make it out, and when it hits him his stomach won't stop fluttering, he has to look away. Is it how she signed the pic? An intentional parallel with his name on her chest? Both? And he's looking at it like, wow. Not processing it in words and yet not feeling like it's out of place at all. Help, my heart 😫.
Drawing Jack - This is so sad 🥺. Joel would be upset with himself if anyone. Asking himself, why the hell did I make Jack into some kind of a martyr? What was I thinking? (Wasn't). I let (no, made) the man die trying to save her. Shouldn't have given him the honor. He doesn't want you to remember jack as someone who tried to save you. He wants him to be just a guy, a fading memory from your past. But because of Joel, it's probably harder for that memory to fade. He was relieved when you compared him unfavorably in Hunger. He shouldn't need that. It's stupid. It's his own fault.