#tommy ryan

Living the poor life isn’t what you’d dreamed of in your mind, but you didn’t let it take you down. You had loving friends and family, and as far as you were concerned, that was good enough. You were born in the a time not too far off from the second Industrial Revolution in the 1830′s where medicines and other sorts of engineering was being discovered. And, for a little bit of cash in your pocket, you had agreed to a new test for smallpox. Scientists had thought that rats weren’t good enough to be tested on since smallpox was a threat mainly to humans. And because of this, they knew it was just enough for volunteers with a little money added to the bribe. You were one of the very few that had tried out.

Sending letters back and forth, the information was filed and confirmed with the agency. Much to your best friend, Tommy’s, disagreement. “It’s a hard game ye’ playin’ Y/N,” he had said through his thick Irish accent, “I don’t trust it. But, if this is what ye’ want, I can’t stop ye’.” 

“I know Tom, and I’ll be careful. This is our chance to get what we’ve always wanted! With a big wad of cash, we could be invincible!” you had said in an upbeat manner, trying to pep not only him, but yourself up; quieting your own insecurities for as long as it’ll last. 

And so, you walked through those double doors with the greatest confidence you could muster and sucked in a breath, walking right behind the nurse that had guided you to the chair. The testing had taken hours, getting your blood type, heart rate and any other information before the injection was matched up to your body and sunken into your skin. All you did was squeeze your eyes shut and turned your head away, knowing this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get easy money and live the life of your dreams.

///

You don’t remember blacking out, but as you lifted your head painfully, mind foggy and confused, you pop some kinks out of your neck from its uncomfortable position on the side. Opening your eyes warily, you meet the eyes of the scientist, hand clasped on your shoulder with a disappointed expression. “I’m sorry Miss Y/L/N, but the injection did not work. It was nothing of your doing, just some imperfections on our end. You will still receive your payment on your way out, and I would like to personally thank you for your cooperation and volunteering. It was a great step in our process.”

Groaning, you sit up, getting out of the chair to shake the scientist’s hand, “Glad to be of service. I apologize for the misfortune of the testing. I have hope in your success and know everything will right itself.”

“Thank you Miss Y/L/N, and please, come back and visit if there are any misfortunes or side effects. We would like to personally clear them up, if possible,” he answers professionally, no doubt saying it so that there was some sort of reassurance and nicer way of inferring that there could be some mistakes with the testing. 

You smile anyway, thanking the scientist again, and starting to make your way down the flights and flights of wrap-around stairs. Just as your foot touches the last step, Tommy comes flying in in a fit of energy. “Y/N! Y/N! Come on! We’re going to miss our boarding!”

Giggling, you take your time going up to the front desk awaiting your payment. As she goes to go get it and place it in an envelope, you turn to Tommy, “What boarding? We don’t have the ride on the Titanic until tomorrow, the 10th. I swear, sometimes I question your sanity,” you say, sighing and turning to the lady as she hands the envelope over, thanking her.

“Today is the 10th Y/N! I told ye’ this before ye’ walked in this mornin’! ” Tommy yells, hands falling to his legs exasperatedly.

“Shit!” you yell, thanking the lady once more and rushing out of the building with Tommy’s hand dragging you.

Nodding to the direction beside the door, you spot two bags placed haphazardly in the midst of the moment, realizing Tommy had packed your bags and accidentally thrown them to the side when coming to get you. You smile at this small reminder, always picking up after you like a child, “Thanks Tom,” you sincerely state briefly, running after him as you weave through the traffic of people.

“Don’t mention it, I think it’s gon’ be a tight one though...” he states, eyes scanning the boarding dock.

“We’re gonna make it Tommy, we always do.”

“Ye’, ye’ you’re right,” he nods, soothing his nerves as he takes your hand protectively, pulling you through the tight-knit crowd of people.

Squeezing by in time, Tommy hands the tickets over quickly, receiving questioning eyes by the teller, approving them after a moment, having no time to argue your boarding at the call of departure, “Go right ahead.”

Jumping over the increasing distance between the boarding dock and the ship, you slip slightly, a hand grasping your quickly and yanking you in, “Come on Pinnochio.”

Once safely inside the hall of the SS Titanic, you let out a enthusiastic scream, stealing a laugh from Tommy as he gazes at you fondly, enjoying the sight of your happiness. It was a very rare sight. Taking his hand now, you yank him along with you, running down the numerous halls excitedly, “Come on! Come on! Come on! We’ve gotta find our room!”

///

After a while, settling into your otherwise disgusting room, you have no time to dwell as the need of exploring overcomes you, “The sun’s still out Tom, let’s go look around and get supper while it’s still hot.”

“Ye’, ye’, I’m comin’, I’m comin’,” he follows behind lazily, “Ye’ do know that I worked a good 8 hours before boardin’, yeah?” 

“Then stay and let your stomach scream at you! I’m going to go talk to people I’ll never meet again!”

Tommy laughs at this, acknowledging your choice of words, catching his interest, “Fine.”

After eating what was a surprisingly hearty meal, Tommy and you take a nice stroll outside and into the open air. Sighing as you take a seat on the bench, you nod towards Tommy, him soon following suit. At some point, you’d gotten into a conversation with a man your age named Fabrizio. A funny character, he quickly eased into your heart, almost like you’d always known him. 

His friend, Jack, had also made an impression as well, his whimsical and wishful thinking perking Tommy’s interest. Indulging in a conversation concerning the sturdiness of the Titanic, Tommy, smoking a cigarette states confidently, “There’s 50,000 Irishmen on this ship. It’s as solid as a rock,” you roll your eyes playfully, making your first proper introductions with the men, Tommy continuing his rant.

“Do you make any money off your drawings?” Tommy asks, mentioning to Jack’s current creation, soon going unanswered as his interest gets shifted. Spotting Jack’s gaze on the woman, first class, Tommy tries to reason, “Ahh, forget it Boy-o, it’s like of angles fly out of your arse to get with the likes of ‘er.” 

Getting up to share the cigarette with Tommy, you stumble, feeling dizziness set in. Ignoring it, you lean against the handrails all too harshly, head leaning into his chest eventually, your head becoming too heavy to hold almost too suddenly. “Tommy, I don’t feel right...” you mutter.

“You might just be a bit seasick Lass, come on, I’ll ye’ to out quarters. See ya’ men in a bit, ye’?” Tommy asks Jack and Fabrizio, the men somehow being your bunk mates. Taking you by the arm lightly, Tommy soon dives down quickly as your body goes limp, vision going black, “Y/N-”

///

Stretching tiredly, you look around your surroundings, your bed somewhat bigger than you imagined. Looking down finally, panic settles within your being. You had no body beneath the covers you thought you were underneath. Tommy, at the edge of the bed, along with Jack and Fabrizio, were somewhat huger than they usually were too, all found with mixtures of starstruck and horrified expressions. The horror hadn’t finally settled in until you tried to ask what was scaring them.

Breathing in through your nose, you open your mouth to speak, jumping as a somewhat yell left your mouth. You try again, the same response, giving a few good more just to be safe. Going to stand, you feel your feet touch the mattress, and 2 more as well. Standing stock-still, fear overcomes you. Afraid to look, you shift your gaze to Tommy, who returns the expression you hope he understands. 

Tail whipping you in the face, you jump up, high, taking in your appearance as you look behind you. ‘What the hell?!’ You have fur; short, gray hairs that surround your being, making you suddenly feel claustrophobic. Internally, you scream, uncertainty making you feel hopeless. 

Tommy, taking the bravery to speak, calls, “Y/N?”

Lifting your gaze, you look up at him in response, meowing for good measure.

“Shit,” Jack whispers, somehow being caught in earshot perfectly.

“Ah-Y/N,” Fabrizio starts in his French accent, “you’re- ah- how do I say this? You are a cat, madame.”

Losing your shit now, you start an onslaught of meows and hisses, anything to explain your delirium, words failing you.

‘Tommy,’ you wanted to call, ‘What do we do?’ But, alas, he could not hear you, let alone understand you, making you bubble up in sadness. You were utterly alone. Despite the men standing before you, you were only left with yourself, lost, scared, and so utterly alone. 

It welcomed you like a ghost, giving you its  hand and pulling you away from society. You felt as if you were a prisoner to your own soul, no longer able to have the freedoms that were so selfishly overlooked. And with the fear, neglect, and distraught, you found yourself welcoming the gloominess threatening to break you apart. There was no hope. Whatever had happened to you when doing the foolish testings, were dangerous, lethal even.

Sitting down lightly, silencing yourself, your body contorts into a small ball on the thin bed sheets. You know there’s no hope, at least not right now -or ever- so you choose to wallow in self pity instead. 

///

You laid like that for the course of 4 days. It felt like weeks. You hadn’t eaten, barely took a lick of liquid, and hardly slept more than an hour or two. Jack and Fabrizio came and left, only there to sleep at night and to check up on you. Besides that, they were outside; exploring, laughing, wrecking havoc. It gave you a sick feeling every time you thought about what you could be doing with them, knowing the dream wasn’t an option.

Tommy, however, remained in the room just as you had. He didn’t try to speak to you, occupied himself with mindless things, and only left to collect what filling foods the Titanic had to offer, bringing smaller pieces of bread and such back for you. The food, in which, you never touched stubbornly. He stayed in the room, a prisoner to the outside world instead, respecting your privacy and being the protection you never asked for, but adored dearly.

///

Mumbling in his sleep, jumping ever so lightly from time to time, Tommy lays splayed across a rickety wooden chair across the room. That’s the most he’s spoken this whole time. Internally, you smile weakly, attempting to get up and soothe him. You’re legs quickly fail you, your form having gotten exceptionally small from long overdue nutritional deprivation. Trying a different approach, you meow as loud as possible at Tommy, voice crackling pathetically, eventually waking him up from the horrifying haze.

“Y/N?” he asks, Irish accent more dominant as his voice was laced with sleep.

You call out to him again.

“What’s the matta’ Lass?” he starts to ask worriedly.

You didn’t have to attempt an answer, your stomach grumbling loudly within the quietly still room.

“Ah, so now you’ve decided to function again, aye?” noticing your blank stare, he takes it as a glare, “Just messin’ with ya’, I’ve got some food over ‘ere.” Handing it over to you, he breaks the pieces to better accommodate with your bite size. When you were finished, he pet your head in pride, happy that you were willing to start moving again.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Tommy gets up again to go back to his chair, unsure of how you were truly feeling, but you quickly simplify them for him as you call out once more. Turning to face you, he lifts a confused brow, making his way back over as he catches a happy glint in your eyes paired with you tail wagging.

“Ya’ want me to pet ya’?”

You try to shake your head, stopping yourself as you realize how inhumane and creepy that truly was, wobbling over to pillow instead. Taking it as a sign, Tommy lays down on the bed beside you, shifting comfortably, and finally relaxing. Once he settled, you got back up, crawled over to his arm, curling your body into the crook of his arm and ribs.

“We’re gonna get this all figured out Lass, I promise. We’re gonna get to America, find the best doctors, and get ya’ the help ya’ need. It don’t matter the cost. You will get better,” Tommy promises, nodding his head with a determined expression. “If ya’ don’t, it won’t matter either. You’re still the same person Y/N, and even if the whole world don’t see you anymore, I will. I’ll still be here,Y/N.”

You knew what he was saying was true. Tommy would do anything for you. You were all he had left and he wouldn’t risk it for the world. Your predicament, albeit insane, was just a stepping stone in your bond with Tommy. You believed him.

(From Anastasia 1997)

(From The Swan Princess 1994)