okay. carsexual izuna tobizu au i made with @slurmdog as promised:
izuna is a loud & proud carfucker. he has a very very nice sports car, and that car is his girlfriend. he's active on forums and has 'come out' to his family about this. he's also in desperate need of a....nonjudgemental mechanic. obviously they need to be very skilled to take care of his beloved, but also sometimes the problem is "you've left a fleshlight in the tailpipe" or "the engine has cum in it" and he needs somebody who can tell him that, fix the problem, and not ban him from their place of work.
tobirama is a godsend that izuna finds through his extremely heated yelp reviews. (a mixture of high praise for his skill and endless complaints for his lack of sympathy.) izuna is still pretty nervous about it, the first time he takes his baby to tobirama, so he asks if he can stay to watch him do the repairs. tobirama agrees for a greatly increased price, izuna agrees to it, and a partnership is born.
at first it's as professional as it presumably could be, given the circumstances. izuna never mentions that the car he's bringing to tobirama is his beloved girlfriend, but the context clues are...pretty strong. tobirama's reaction is astoundingly bland the first time he finds a fleshlight left in the tailpipe. (as far as tobirama's concerned, hes found just as bad stuff everywhere else in other peoples cars. if a sexual fixation is what makes izuna take such good care of his car- and makes him bring it in so regularly for expensive checkups- than maybe more people should want to fuck their cars, actually.)
and as time goes on izuna starts to really enjoy getting to see tobirama work. now that he's not stressed as hell about his poor baby getting damaged, he can admire tobirama's genuine skill with the car. he does immaculate work in a reasonable time frame.
and then izuna realizes his interest in tobirama might not be strictly professional. seeing him all oily and dirty and seeing him bent under the hood of his girlfriend- yeah, okay, maybe he acts impulsively and invites tobirama to a threesome. with the car.
tobirama declines, mostly because he does not want to fuck a car and he does not want to see izuna fuck a car. izuna is sad, but they both get over it and maintain their working relationship...
except then it gets worse for izuna, because he realizes he's starting to get jealous. of his car. how come she gets tobirama's undivided attention for hours on end? how come she gets an oily tobirama beneath her? a sweaty tobirama crawling all over her, touching her, admiring her? whats so great about his stupid car????
he can't take it anymore and he realizes he needs to do the right thing: break up with his girlfriend (the car) and ask out tobirama. so he does....and tobirama refuses.
sorry izuna, he'd actually like to date you, but his last three boyfriends were all carfuckers who SWORE they were done fucking cars and he caught them cheating within a few weeks. he just can't make the same mistake again. izuna begs him for a chance, drags him out to his newly-purchased bicycle, and rides them both to his house with tobirama perched on the front bar of the bike.
izuna, showing the smoldering pile of rubbish that was once his beautiful car, which he spent hours attacking with a shovel before going to ask tobirama out: i hope this is enough to prove my sincerity
tobirama: yeah okay you doing this is intensely attractive to me actually. we can date.
when they get married they ride away on a tandem bike and izuna never owns another car for the rest of his life.