#tobeloved

i could probably bathe in the sun and flourish. but i crave for contact much more than i crave for nourishment. i love, i love, i crave, i adore. but i have detachment from everything. i physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially cannot feel affection. maybe there's something wrong with me. maybe there's something in me that's not working well. i long, i long, i crave, i abandon. i destroy everything i lay my eyes on. maybe i'm a broken mirror. or a void one. maybe i'm something that should not exist. should not live. should not be touched. a venus fly trap. a cheese under an upsidedown box.

Love from a artist:

To belong to someone—I didn’t know it, but now that I think about jt, it seems like that’s all I’ve ever wanted. To really be somebody’s, and to have them be mine.

i look prettier from afar. from a blurry lense. and tunnel vision. and love is only pretty when it's clear. so maybe to love is to be seen in the highest resolution. then maybe i am not pretty enough to be loved. or i am not loved enough to be pretty up close. or maybe it's just me and the terrifying ordeal of being known. of all the romance i could have had. it's the romance between me and the fear of being known too well.