#tiny bug's asks

I think the big thing I would say is that self love is a skill. It's something you have to work on and learn - And even when you've gotten good at it, you will have times where it's harder or you slip up. And that's okay! Here are some little things that come to mind:

One of the things I try to do is treat myself as if I'm a third person. When I force myself to think 'but would I ever think that about someone if it wasn't me?' or 'would I ever say that about someone else?' it helps me to avoid being unnecessarily harsh on myself. We're always hardest on ourselves - I'm definitely guilty of that - so forcing yourself to look at yourself in the third person helps a lot. What would you say in this situation if your friend was the one having this problem, not you? How would your thoughts change?

This is pretty generic therapy stuff, but let your feelings happen. I am really bad at having thoughts/feelings that upset me or I'm ashamed of, and then getting really down on myself for having them. Learning to let emotions and thoughts come like a wave - they come, they're here, they leave (and it is inevitable that they'll leave, even if it takes time) helps me in the moment. Learning this took a while for me, but it helps me a lot now and eventually you stop realising you're doing it consciously. You don't have to acknowledge them or think about them, but they will come, so learning to let them come and go in their time helps a lot.

I would say, start small. Self love takes all these different forms, and some might seem monumental compared to others. So start small: Start a skincare routine, buy yourself something nice, put on a nice outfit - whatever. For me, I wear eyeliner almost every day now, even if I'm just going around the house, and it's because it makes me feel pretty. That's my only reason. And it's the little things that I think really add up!

Be aware that you can't control everything! Again, this is one I really struggled with, but: Society has unrealistic expectations and you can never meet them. No matter how kind you are, some people just don't trust kindness. I try to keep this in my head: "self care is not arguing with people who are committed to misunderstanding you". Learning to assign worth to certain opinions and not others is also a skill, but really helps, and you will get there.

We really are our own worst critics, and self love is a skill you need to develop - but it's worth doing. I've been working on it myself and I am so much happier for it. Have patience with yourself and work on it. I also suggest doing some research - there are lots of great lines and articles about learning to love yourself, far more than I can cover here. Do some research and try to implement the steps that call to you.

I am so so happy my quotes could reach you in a time when you needed them! That's all I've ever wanted for this blog 🥺

Hi! I’m sorry I’m so late to reply to this... Whe you sent me this DM, I was actually in the EXACT same position. Like. I’m actually a little freaked out (not badly but just like WOAH) because you worded exactly what I was going through :’D so I wasn’t super online.

Unfortunately... I don’t really have an answer for this. I actually spoke to my friends and said look, I’m constantly alone, nobody writes me first, I don’t want to be demanding... and they took it really well. My only suggestion is to try and communicate to them, but sadly I don’t know how well that might go down... These things are hard :(

I’m sorry I can’t be more help, but I think if you communicate that you’re worried about being too demanding but you’re feeling super alone, they might be more receptive. They can’t read your mind, remember, so communication is the only way to get any changes - that’s something I forget a lot. I just expect people to know how I’m feeling, you know?

Hi lovely ♡ Honestly, I might not be the best to answer this, so if any of my followers have any advice please reply so anon can see!!

I think it’s normal to still have feelings even after a relationship has ended. I know I do, even years later! But, it’s important to think about why it didn’t work out with your old love, in my opinion. Like I know I would hang onto and miss the memories I had with them, even when they changed as a person. I would be thinking about why it didn’t work out and what you’re looking for in a relationship. And most of all, I would give yourself time. It’s hard to really know what you need in situations like this.

The best thing I can advise is: See a professional. Approach her and talk about the options with her - is she comfortable seeing someone? Talk to her and try to address the issue, while reminding her you’re there with her through it.

I have depression and anxiety, and have done since I was 11-12. I can vouch for the fact that treatment might feel daunting, and it can be very hit-or-miss (some drugs don’t work for some people, some people don’t respond well to therapy etc) - but it is so important to seek that help. And, if it means anything, I can personally vouch for how much it’s changed my life! This ask reminds me a lot of my untreated self; I’ve been with a variety of therapists and have tried a handful of meds to get me sorted out, over the years. The best thing to do is try and see someone about it (if circumstances allow) - but make sure to talk to her and involve her, first. Therapy and such is most effective when the person wants to be there and wants to get better.