So for NYE some pals and I had a slideshow party (where each person puts together a 5-10 minute slideshow presentation on whatever topic they want and we all present) and the topic I chose for mine was The Top Ten Chuck Tingle Books I Want To Read. I said I would share it here if this is the topic I went with, out of some other fun options like "why peanut butter should be in s'mores: I am right and all of you are wrong", "paw patrol and the patriarchy" and "top ten funniest pride clothing i've found online." The Tingler topic won, so without further ado, here u go pals:
The Top Ten Chuck Tingle Books I Want To Read, by Hank - a NYE Presentation
(Be warned this is a long post, all slides have IDs for accessibility)
[ID: The title slide of my slideshow which reads: The Top Ten Chuck Tingle Books I Want To Read: A Definitive Ranking based on Title, Cover Art, and Vibes alone, By Hank. The slideshow background, called "couture," is a black background with a fancy white overlay embellished with different kinds of patterns. It gives a sense of fashion and flair for the dramatic. It is the same background for every slide. End ID.]
Number Ten - Eaten Right by the Mysterious S Symbol Everyone Used to Draw.
[ID: a slide with the cover of the Chuck Tingle book listed above. The cover shows a curvy woman in underwear, bra, and open shirt smiling and touching her hair. Beside her is a neon teal "S" symbol that was popular in the early 2000s, made by drawing 6 lines and connecting them. Text on the slide reads:
I can’t stop laughing about the S symbol
That’s it that’s pretty much the entire reason it’s on here
(Also the model is v cute)
Number Nine - Taken by the Gay Unicorn Biker.
[ID: another slide, with book cover and text. The cover shows a very muscle-y man wearing low-cut jeans and an open leather jacket, with a unicorn wearing leather and riding a motorcyle behind it. The book cover has a sepia tone. Text on the slide reads:
Very here for the gay unicorn biker
How does a unicorn bike when it only has hooves? Unclear
The sepia tone makes this seem like it’s gonna be gritty in a fun way
Number Eight - The Unicorn Them Fatale Pounds My Non-Binary Butt Mysteriously
[ID: another similar slide. The book cover on it shows a non-binary person wearing black skinny jeans and a black vest and thin black choker sitting on a bar stool. Behind them stands a pink anthropomorphic unicorn wearing shiny leather pants and a black long sleeve crop top. The cover gives off noir vibes, while simultaneously giving off goth or emo vibes. Text on the slide reads:
Very here for non-binary smut
Also very here for this goth/emo unicorn
Them fatale is a fucking great pun
Number Seven - Glazed by the Gay Living Donuts
[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a shirtless man looking over his shoulder seductively. He is surrounded by glazed donuts, with a white kitchen in the background. Text on the slide reads:
I am but a simple person who likes donuts a lot
The donuts look very tasty
The use of a donut in the word donut is A++
I want to know if the sex gets more creative than just fucking a donut hole (I suspect it will, because it’s Chuck Tingle)
Number Six - My Dungeon Master Is a T-Rex Rules Lawyer But Fortunately I Rolled A Crit On The Pound My Butt Check
[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a man wearing a kilt, wide leather belt, and metal pauldron extending to armour over his left arm. He is otherwise shirtless, and smiles while giving a thumbs up. Behind him is an anthropomorphic dinosaur wearing a business suit. They stand in an office. Text on the slide reads:
As a dungeon master this is hilarious
SO curious about the contrasting costumes, and whether or not they also LARP
Is the rules-lawyer T-Rex also an actual lawyer?? Read on to find out??
Number Five - I Freed This Handsome Cargo Ship From The Suez Canal But Now He's Stuck In My Butt
[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a shirtless man with a very hairy chest wearing boxers and standing with one hand on his chin and the other on his hip. Behind him is a photo of the Ever Given cargo ship, with a face photoshopped onto the front of the ship. Text on the slide reads:
The Ever Given my beloved
Kind of in love with the face just stuck on the front of the ship
Very curious about the plot lines
That dude’s chest hair is a+++
[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a woman wearing a bar maid style period clothing of dress with a tight bodice over a lacy white off the shoulder shirt, as well as a black choker necklace and an eye patch. She crosses her arms and looks coolly at the camera. Behind her is a scene of a stormy ocean. Floating in the water is a butt that has a smiling face photoshopped onto it. Text on the slide reads:
This is a GREAT bodice ripper type cover – just look at her dress! And her eye patch! And the stormy seas!
It legitimately took me a while to realize there was a butt in the seas but it looks very happy
I’ve never read Moby Dick but what better way to start than with a lesbian smut parody
Number Three - Canada Pounds My Butt and Covers My Pancakes with Real Maple Syrup in an Erotic Way also it is Delicious
[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a shirtless man who has a bodybuilder physique standing in front of a road intersection in what looks like the Canadian prairies. A map of Canada covered with the red and white Canadian flag, but with a smiling face photoshopped over where the maple leaf in the flag should be, floats behind him in the sky. Text on the slide reads:
As a Canadian I feel contractually obligated to want to read this
Also I love that it’s just a map of Canada with a face
Here for the prairie setting
Also for the maple syrup and pancakes lets be real
Canada deserves all the gay sex
Number Two - Bisexual Polyhedral Role-Playing Dice Orgy
[ID: another slide. The book cover on it shows a shirtless man with washboard abs standing in a living room with white walls and white furniture. He has his hands on his hips and looks off to the side with a somewhat disintrested expression. Floating around him are a set of seven blue polyhedral roleplaying dice. Each dice has been photoshopped to have a human face on it. Text on the slide reads:
Super curious about how dice fuck without any body parts other than faces
The dice all look remarkably horny even if the young man does not
Love me some bi representation
I got bi pride dice for Christmas and now I will imagine they are in this book
Number One - A Butt In the Mist: Stirred to the core of my bodice by the Duchess Triceratops of Helena
[ID: another slide. The book cover shows a woman in a slutty steampunk costume consisting of underwear, garter belts, a leather corset vest top, an ascott, white gloves, a top hat, goggles, and a cane. She stands beside an anthropomorphic triceratops wearing a full-length period gown with puffy sleeves. In the background is what looks like a castle in the mist. Text on the slide reads:
The costuming is fantastic
It gives very steampunk vibes which I’m into
Feels like there will be good plot and romance and intrigue along with the smut
Who doesn’t love dinosaurs?? Especially dinosaurs in costume??
And last but not least - Honourable Mentions
[ID: a slide showing three Chuck Tingle book covers, with no text besides the title "Honourable Mentions." The books are:
My Macaroni and Cheese is a Lesbian and also she is my laywer, which shows a woman in lingerie posing beside a large bowl of macaroni and cheese that has a human face photoshopped on it.
Pounded by the realization that Chuck Tingle's erotic works are a singular piece of art that skewers conservative fears of moral decay by re-purposing them as the promise of a sex-positive utopia. It shows a shirtless buff man with a neutral facial expression standing beside a book that has a bearded face photoshopped on the cover.
Petrichor is a lesbian and she gets me off in a cozy way during a much needed rainstorm. It shows a woman in white underwear, ribbed crop top sweater, and stockings beside a large raindrop photoshopped with a smiling face on it.
Honourable mentions chosen because I love Mac and Cheese, Petrichor is one of my favourite words, and also because the one about his erotic works speaks deeply to me as someone who also sometimes writes smut.
For those curious about my ranking system - I read through the entirety of Chuck Tingle's works on Goodreads, picked the ones the spoke to me the most, and then loosely ranked them based on what I'd want to read first. I didn't go with the more meta or political parody ones, because while I love them, they're not what I'd look for in smut.
Thank you for attending my presentation, go forth and read all the smut
