#tinderdates

I called him Maestro because I loved the fact that he taught me things. He taught me to play chess, skip stones on the sea and he showed me a few new tricks in bed... 

It was a Tinder date. I liked him from the first messages on because he said things like “sorry for responding so late” when he didn’t respond within minutes which is what he usually did. It’s a small thing but somehow just makes me feel immediately more valued.  We arranged the date pretty quickly cause we both agreed that long back and forth is a waste of time and that it’s better to right away see if there’s a spark or not. 

I was super nervous about the date. I drove to visit him cause somehow I felt more comfortable having my car and being able to leave whenever I want to.  When I got out of the car and saw him for the first time I was a bit turned off to be honest. Somehow his face looked like he had some deformation or sth. But I quickly realized it was just his very “edgy” face and the way he held his head sometimes. He was gorgeous. Tall, strong, not as in good shape as on his Tinder pictures but I don’t care much for sixpacks. I like them on the chubby but strong side. His curls were adorable and he was wearing a 5-day beard. I was instantly into him. 

I parked my car at his and we rode his motorbike to town. I loved it.  The date was nice, we went to play pool and I found out that he doesn’t drink cause he’s a recovering alcoholic. I didn’t mind a bit.  We continued walking around, got some iced coffee and went to sit by the beach. At some point I said that I’ll head home soon and he asked why I won’t stay. I gave him a surprisingly honest answer: “I really like sex and if I come to your place we’ll end up having sex and I don’t want that to happen yet”. He was like “why?! what would be so bad about it?”. Again I surprised myself with a very honest answer: “I really like you and want to see you again”. And he was like “...and if we have sex we won’t see each other again?” I said that that happens with guys sometimes and that I just prefer it this way. He didn’t push for it.  “But” he said “I will kiss you because it’s such a beautiful moment.” He scootched over and kissed me and OH MY GOD. Fireworks. The chemistry was intense and we just couldn’t stop kissing each other. At some point we even giggled cause we both felt it. 

This should be the 15th, but I missed 12th, 13th & 14th. Should I call it after the date or the number that there are? Who knows?

I'm in a friend's in Donaghadee. Her third floor flat looks directly over the sea. It's delightful. I helped her move out the last of her things from her now ex's, last night. A sad thing to do, on St. Valentine's Day. Though she seems to be bearing up well. We got here andgot stoned and went for a lovely cold walk, along the seafront and up to The Moat, a little castle up a hill, with the half moon shining behind it, and the clouds racing past it, dramatically. We had funny and lovely catch up chats, about mutual friends, gigs, books, and Tinder experiences.

Tinder experiences are a wealth of riches for storytelling, I expect. Like the story dating event I was doing box office for in the arts centre- an Australian woman and an American man, both comedians, had the genius idea of collecting them into books and touring with a show that they only had to write half of, as the audience performed the second half for them. This was a popular event, and people were not shy with their stories, all usually sexual and funny, or silly. However, one lady had written on her card about seeing a fella who'd told her he had been to prison. She thought, ah well, sure, this is Northern Ireland. He's probably been involved with the paramilitaries. The American man was reading this out and he found it intriguing and hilarious- this blasé acceptance of our Troubles. He asked the woman to come up on stage. The Australian woman and I had heard this story during the interval, and I'd related it to my boss. We didn't want to hear it again. We retired to the foyer, where we heard the audience laughing away at the sinister story.

"Sure, don't worry, love, it's not like you murdered your wife, or anything, haha!" She had said to him, and he had hung his head. Turned out he had- he had caved his wife's head in, and tried to disguise her body by setting fire to it with chip fat. Then got his 12 year old daughter in the stand to defend him! Grim! A member of the audience escaped past us, hiding in the foyer, at this point.

"I thought this was meant to be light hearted," she whispered to us, followed by the audience's laughter. She looked upset, and headed out for a smoke. I was reminded of this yesterday, when, while I was working, I bumped into an old friend. We compared dating stories, and she told me she'd been out with a fella, turns out, he'd murdered his wife! She said, she should start writing these experiences down, she should put them in a book! I told her that people already had and were making good money out of it. We realised that it was the same story, the same man, the same murderer. He had chatted her up at the market. They had mutual friends.

I hope none of my Tinder dates actually HAVE been murderers... Suffice to say, none have murdered ME.

I'm going on a date today. I'll need to go home and bathe and preen. I'm not working tonight, so who knows how things will turn out? We're meeting at lunchtime. There are staff drinks for someone leaving later, if I need to escape... I haven't drank for nearly 3 weeks but may do, today. I feel more apprehensive, than excited. He was worryingly keen. We shall see...

I used this cliche the other night.

I can't tell if I'm more annoyed with myself for saying it or the guy that showed up 6 inches shorter than expected.

Got a firm handshake goodbye.

This is prolly local boy #5 that I have met since last November. Again, very nice guy. Picks you up, pays for dinner, not a pervert (at least not yet?). But just…zero conversation.

My friend recently told me…maybe I have been spoiled having lived in NYC Bc the majority of the people I met had a story of their own. But here….story? What are those? 😓

He works 6:30am - 3pm installing AC. Goes home after that to avoid traffic. If he eats out, it’s genki sushi. He has never tasted uni and doesn’t like to eat food if they don’t look right to him. Doesn’t know how a shoyu bottle works. Orders teriyaki chicken and spicy ahi roll. Doesn’t eat any other raw fish.

Does he drink? Vodka coke maybe. Never had a mojito. Doesn’t like beer. Jameson tastes weird. Watch movies? Not really Watch tv? Rarely Surf? Don’t know how Swim? Barely Hike? (I mentioned the two that I went on yesterday - he’s never heard of them yet he grew up here) Video game? Nope Church? Nope Karaoke? Nope Beach? Don’t really like it Does he volunteer? Nope Music? Listen to anything but never heard of Spotify He liked high school more Bc his friends were all there. His fav class was piano but he failed the tests because he was too lazy to practice. He didn’t know what it takes to get into Iolani/punahou.

The few questions he’s asked me… What was it like going to Iolani? I said - what do you mean? What is your impression of Iolani? He answered: rich over ambitious straight As kids What I like to do on wkeds? I said hike, volunteer, maybe beach.

Dare I even ask about travels?

I asked him the 6 questions abt the house the cube the flowers the ladder the storm and the cat. He was amused. Didn’t ask about mine.

Told him about Myers Briggs…never heard of them but will prolly take it to understand.

Other topics - open relationships, freshmen horror stories, boys and girls club, ways you were brought up, types of friends, prior dates...etc etc From 6pm - 9pm...forced conversation...

I was first person he met online.

Sigh…