#time frog

sauron, practicing his pitch as annatar: nine for mortal men, doomed to die, one-

me: i'll take the set, sure.

s: what

m: what

s: they aren't a se-

m: listen...anita?

s: annat-you know what just call me sauron.

m: hi sauron. everything is a set if you're brave enough. i got nine fingers plus this one *waggles a thumb* and you made the sale, stop talking. what's the discount?

s: ...

s: half.

m: is that half the doom, or half the death?

s: i guess we could do either, or both...you know what? no. half the doom. same death.

m: okay, that sounds fair.

s: if we're being honest the set probably works out to more death, that feels right.

m: gimme gimme.

s: give me a minute, let me box these up for you.

m: no need, i'll wear them out.

s: no it's fine, the planning and preparation are very important to me. i take a lot of pride in my work.

m: i just don't want to be an inconvenience.

s: it'll just be a minute.

s: can i ask you a personal question?

m: shoot.

s: why?

m: i'm hedging my bets on this pandemic getting literally any stupider.

s: oof. yeah, i mean. i'm a bad dude, but that's like...tom bombadil bad.

m: fuck tom bombadil.

s: did you know he can hear it when you talk about him?

m: i sure hope so. hey anakin, great doing business with you. i gotta get going. see you around.

s: how did you even get here

m: time frog

time frog

the first woman

one giant frog

demons

a magic worm

wheels within wheels

an extremely large and problematic frog

cheese

the void

did you see that frog

nephilim

maritime law

the writing has gone fully off the rails and they have no idea where they're going here and I can empathize with that. What I can't empathize with or even understand is why they would do this and invent the hand of g-d as a thing (g-d clearly has many many hands, this is not a meaningful distinction) when you could get two seasons alone out of the Twilight Tools. (PA 5:6)

Tell me you couldn't get 5 more seasons out of a show with these things alone. I dare you. Tongs made with tongs, 1000% a Muppet episode.

And again, nobody's even talking about the Time Frog. Or Void Law. Humans are cowards.

Castifer is fine, no objection! At all! It's cheesy and a lil slapstick but it's fine!

However, the most unforgivable sin here is the magic space baby plot of amara. For every magic space baby on your show, I sell my soul to a crossroads demon to call down seven meteors upon you and your writers room. I am giving you everyone becomes OP now for no reason and emo sadboy feelings Hell. You may have them. They are wrong, but you are free to these wrongs. But we live in a society. And for free speech and expression to be meaningfully free, we must draw a couple boundaries beyond which no quarter is given, nor should tshuvah redeem. And it must be vigorously and conscientiously enforced.

https://narrative-device.herokuapp.com/

  TimeFrog part 5

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