#tim robbins

Divagando Sempre

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION | 1994 ₊𖥔

i’ll be lovin’ you… always.

₊𖥔 in which andy dufresne is locked up in shawshank penitentiary for a minimum of two life-sentences… all the while he is bׄalancing life and love with his sweet darling who refuses to give up on hope…. ໑୧ ׅ𖥔. ׄ(xreader) pov!

part two | wc : 4.700 |

read part one : here ♡

read part three : here ♡

soft rain pattered against the window pane of your quiet little house. you watched it lovingly, corn muffins baking in the oven that filled your home with a delightful aroma.

four months had passed since your emotional, once-in-years lapse born out of an overwhelming love and longing between you and andy in that library. the child inside of you had been steadily growing by the grace of God. you hummed quietly as you set a hand on your tummy. “guess who’s seeing daddy today…” you smiled.

glancing out the window again, one of your fondest memories came floating to the surface of your mind. 1946, two years before the balloon went up.

𝜗ৎ

it had become something of a ritual. every friday morning, andy would stop by the little bakery two blocks away from the bank before work. not because he particularly cared for pastries— as he always claimed they were ‘far too sweet.’— but because he knew you’d be arriving five minutes later for your breakfast and morning coffee.

he was always first. always.

he leaned against the brick wall with content. his newspaper tucked underneath his arm and a hot cup of coffee being kept warm solely from the man and his wonderful fingertips.

the moment he caught wind of you walking down the sidewalk, that reserved smile of his would sweetly appear. the one that started in his eyes before it reached his lips.

“good morning, sunshine” he cooed with pleasure. melting into your kiss as you stood on your tip toes to reach him. even with heels, he always remained much taller than you.

“aren’t you a sight for sore eyes… here in our usual spot” you blushed. “we have many spots… don’t we darling?” he raised a hand to caress your cheek, subtly moving a strand of hair that had come loose from behind your ear. “although, you were two minutes late…” he grinned.

“more so thirty seconds late…” you squinted. to which the man let out a sweet sounding laugh. the two of you could banter all day. it was one of your many favored hobbies. “i rounded up”

you rolled your eyes with a smile, taking the coffee cup from him joyfully. “seems like you’ve already had a taste…” you giggled, “thank you, andy” and with that you brought the cup to your lips. he watched you adoringly. “my pleasure”

by then the church bells down the street had begun to chime, signaling the start of work. you were so infatuated with the man you had hardly even realized he was holding a jam-filled eclair. “oh! this too… they were all out of corn muffins” andy quickly handed over the dessert, one that he had spent about fifteen minutes picking out and assessing before deciding it was the right one for you. “aww! baby, how sweet! no corn muffins… guess that’s why you’re empty handed— huh?” you teased with a smile.

he grinned ear to ear, amused in how well you truly knew him. “yeah… yeah… i’ll be alright”

the two of you walked down the sidewalk arm in arm. treading towards the beloved building of work and finance… andy, was the only thing that seemed to make it worthwhile anymore.

“here, have some” you giggled, offering him some of your fluffy eclair as you strayed farther and farther away from the bakery and off down the block. “it’s for you, sugar!” he would laugh.

𝜗ৎ

your eyes had been closed when you finally came back to earth. a long exhale had escaped as the memory wrapped you in it’s warmth like a cotton blanket. “someday… we’ll be happy again…” you whispered aloud. “i promise…” you cooed, coddling the unborn baby with a few gentle pats. “now, how about i tell you the story of your daddy and i sneaking off on valentine’s day during our lunch hour…” you giggled, crossing the kitchen floor to retrieve the muffins timely.

before heading out that morning, you spent an extra hour or two analyzing your belly in the bedroom mirror. eventually, deciding on the perfect navy blue wool coat to hide your bump. the later it got in your trimester— the harder it would be to hide your evidence. hell, you were a walking billboard of andy’s courage that evening.

𝜗ৎ

you opened your mouth slightly, ready to ask otto for an extra few minutes, as always. yet— you were cut off by the man’s caring gaze. “take all the time you need, miss…” and with that, a wink.

“thank you, my friend! oh— and i couldn’t forget… i’ve baked you a few corn muffins” you clapped with excitement, reaching in your basket to pick out four perfectly wrapped muffins for the man and his wife at home. “my, that’s a surprise!” he spun around with curiosity. mustache traveling upwards with his lip as he shot you a smile.

“i’ll take this form of payment from now on, dear” he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth with delight, carefully taking the muffins and setting them in his center console. “thank you… you be careful now” the man shook a finger.

“will do! see ya in a bit!” you exclaimed happily, tapping the beautiful car before hurrying inside before the rain could melt you.

it had been coming down heavier as you ran across the parking lot. you ran as fast as your little feet could carry you before letting out a triumphant “woo!” upon entering. that familiar scent of floor polish, cigarette smoke, and damp wool coats greeted you accordingly before the reception clerk trailed her eyes toward you. a soft smile graced her features as she had already begun taking down your name and time of arrival.

tough and mean captain hadley had been pacing the floor before he noticed you. “dufresne’s girl… here again” he snickered to a nearby officer before the two fled down the hallway. you loved hearing your title put that way.

the clock on the wall had been ticking awfully loud, more pronounced than usual. beneath it sat a woman in a cardigan, cat-eye glasses balanced on her nose, typing steadily on a black underwood typewriter. her rotary telephone rested beside a thick leather-bound visitor ledger.

every few minutes a guard passed through carrying a ring of brass keys that jingled with every step. they never intimidated you.

“good morning, miss y/l/n… it’s a wet one today isn’t it?” she laughed softly. “how do you do, margaret. sure is… atleast you’re in here… nice and dry” you offered a friendly smile. “here for mr. dufresne, i presume?” she questioned, pencil in hand. out of habit, you pulled the coat tighter around your mid-section. “always”

you signed your name in her book, big voluptuous letters that had been listed dozens of times before. she picked up her telephone while you wrote, “visitation for inmate dufresne…”

inmate. the term made your skin crawl.

meanwhile, andy had been shelving books in the library when hadley passed by the doorway. “dufresne. your lady’s here” to suddenly vanish down the hall. the blonde immediately looked up, turning to brooks who had been smiling kindly. “go on…” andy snapped the book shut, “i’ll be back… i suppose i shouldn’t keep her waiting”

“no, son… i don’t think you could even if you tried” brooks laughed softly, turning his attention back to jake who had been murmuring in his cardigan.

𝜗ৎ

andy swiftly entered the room with anticipation. “there she is…” he cooed softly, in awe of how effortlessly beautiful you were. “here i am…” you answered, throwing yourself into his arms happily. his fingertips brushed across the wet coat you had now been wearing like a cloak. his gaze turned toward the rain beyond the window. “you came all the way out here in this weather?”

you squeezed his hands firmly, “rain or shine…”

raising yourself up on the balls of your heel you placed a long, soft kiss on the man’s lips. “i love you…” you rested your forehead against his lovingly. “i love you, doll… with all my heart”

the two of you could’ve stayed like that forever. but of course… you knew your time was limited. you began to ponder about margaret and how she got her job. “come sit… sit with me” he spoke. instead of sitting across from one another as you usually did, he pulled two of the wooden chairs up to face the window. side by side.

“and let’s get this wet coat off of you…” he started to peel the fabric carefully, setting the wool on the chair’s back to rest for awhile. “oh… wow…” andy sighed with adoration. his eyes very quickly became fixed on the evident bump beneath your loose-fitting maternity dress.

“sit down, honey… that’s it…” he helped you into the chair, causing a fit of giggles to escape you as he took the seat next to you. “you’re very sweet, andy. i’m alright. i’m only four months…”

it’s almost as if andy knew you would already be showing. you were grateful to him for setting up your chairs away from the rest of the room. it made you feel more private in your time alone with him. it also allowed him more time to spend with the baby.

he was lost in thought. just looking, with the proudest, most sincere, smile etched on his handsome face. suddenly, he brought a trembling hand to touch your tummy. he held it there for awhile, just watching.

“i’ve missed so much…”

it was then you grabbed his free hand with your own. “hey… look at me, hm?” he did. weariness in his eyes and a firm grasp on your fingers. “you are with us every single day… you are with me… every single day. in my mind… in my soul.. in my heart… everyday, andy…” you began tearing up yourself.

you were always such a crybaby when it came to andy and your forced separation. it killed the both of you alive… but you were strong enough to get through it. you both knew that.

he leaned in, kissing you softly, as it spoke much louder than any words could. the tears stained on both of your cheeks seemed to mix passionately as you were intoxicated by the rare skin-to-skin contact you both were occasionally granted.

𝜗ৎ

it didn’t take long before andy was knelt down beside your chair, clicking his tongue and cooing to your baby as he usually did during your visits. “hello in there… daddy loves you” he would hum.

he refused to let your baby only know him through stories. he wanted them to know their father’s voice. and they surely loved him already.

as andy spoke, the baby kicked against the delicate skin of your tummy. his hand already placed there, he looked up at you with stars in his eyes. “oh my….” he kissed you happily. if you hadn’t noticed, it was his favorite action in life. “they love your voice, darling… their father…” you smiled with joy. absolute pride swallowing over.

“i sure hope so…” andy smiled. “do you think they’ll be a boy… or a girl, honey?” he asked with wide eyes. you blushed, of course having thought of this almost constantly during the progress of your pregnancy. “well… whatever they’ll be… we’ll love em’ with every fiber of our being…. that being said… i think she’ll be a little girl… and i think her heart will belong to daddy” you hummed.

“a little girl…” he whispered. he rubbed the underside of your belly with a grin on his face.

“you are so strong, honey…” he faced his attention towards you once more. “i would be there for you every minute if i could… you know” he looked down again, blaming himself for the reason he could not be back at home with you.

“i know you didn’t do this, andy. you know… you didn’t do this. and i pray to our Lord everyday… that karma is fair… the truth will come to light… and you’ll get what you deserve…” you spoke with conviction. thoughts of that fateful trial replaying in your mind as you wept in the stands during his sentencing.

“and what’s that, dollface?” he questioned.

you smiled warmly. feeling sorry… that he truly didn’t know. “happiness.” you squeezed his hands with assurance. “happiness, andy.”

you shared a smile. and for once, he didn’t get up to kiss you. he got up to hug you. tighter than he’s ever embraced anyone before.

before you left, he made sure to cover you in your now dried wool coat, exceptionally tight. he was able to walk you out, down the hall to the doors that led to your exit. “i love you…”

you would never get tired of hearing him say it. “and i love you, my baby…” he kneeled down, planting a firm yet soft kiss on your covered up belly. my little girl. you both knew. you both had a sure feeling.

“wait a minute, i almost forgot to give you these. i baked them for you and your buddies… corn muffins” you searched in your basket, pulling out the neatly wrapped stack of them. “corn muffins…” andy smiled.

“you didn’t forget how much i love these… especially those made by you” he kissed your cheek. “thank you, babydoll”

“i could never forget, andy…” you bit your bottom lip. “send red and brooks all my love, honey. be strong in here… for me…” you smiled.

“i will, darling… i will”

𝜗ৎ

that night andy sat in the library with brooks. it was quiet, peaceful... and it was then that andy decided to break the silence. right before closing up for the night, "brooks... i— well, i'd like to tell you something. being you've become such a good friend of mine... and my wife's..."

wife... it rolled right off his tongue. as natural as saying hello. "sure, son. what's on your mind?" he watched andy with curiosity in his eyes. "we're expecting... havin' a baby..." andy smiled to himself. brooks became the first one to know.

the man took his glasses off. "...a baby?" he asked with a smile.

andy could only nod. and brooks began to cry, before andy could even muster up the tears. "a baby... how wonderful...miraculous...truly" the man began to sob. "i'm happy for you, andy. very… very happy"

and as the weeks passed by without you, brooks began putting aside children's books. he never knew why they were there, or how they arrived. yet, he had become very well at searching them out and finding the perfect collection for your baby. “this one..." he shuffled down the section. "no, this one... and this one... this one has rabbits. i think she'd like rabbits"

and this of course, made andy fall apart at the seams. he couldn’t be there to paint the nursery. he couldn’t be there for the doctor appointments. he couldn’t be there to feel every kick. but he made a sure promise to himself that he would be the best father he knew how to be. and he’d stop at absolutely nothing to achieve that.

𝜗ৎ

two months later, it was getting harder to walk… harder to control your bladder… but most of all, harder to hide the belly that seemed to have become enormous so suddenly. as you powdered makeup on in preparation for your trip to shawshank, you racked your brain as to how you could possibly go about continuing to hide it.

snow littered the ground, now december. it crunched beneath your hiking boots as you waddled up to the entrance of the prison, otto with his arm tucked around you in aid of helping you up the icy staircase. “thank you” you smiled.

“anything for my best girl… you take your time”

you made your way in as per usual. to your surprise, red had been treading down the hallway as you made your way to the visitation room. “y/n, how are you dear?” the man tipped his cap. it had been too long since you and red had crossed paths. as it was always very difficult to really spend time with any of the men locked up in shawshank. norton kept them all on a tight leash.

“red! so nice to see you!” you hugged him very tight. from all the stories andy had told you about him, you were more than grateful for red and his presence in andy’s life. perhaps, he would be a lot more sorrowful without him.

“look at you… you are glowing” the man smiled. you were sure he had been told the news, considering how close andy and red were. “i presume you’ve heard, haven’t you red… if it wasn’t obvious enough already” you laughed, moving your coat back slightly to reveal your now 6-month pregnant tummy.

“i have…” he grabbed your hands as if you were a daughter. “and i wish you two nothing but the best… andy is a very special man. i believe you two will get through this… and come out so very strong in the end. believe me…”

the man’s words were enough to bring tears to your eyes. “thank you, red. thank you” and you truly meant it. as your parents were no longer alive… and everyone you knew had andy pinned as someone he was not. it felt comforting knowing you had atleast a few good-hearted friends on your side. even if it were just otto, brooks, and red. and perhaps even margaret.

“i’ll go tell him you’re here. you go sit down and rest” red smiled, firmly grasping your shoulders before he turned away down the hall.

andy had been absentmindedly smoothing out a rock you had given him years prior when red popped his head into the common room. “andy… your miss’ has just arrived” he entered the room with a smile. different variations of those words drifted through the penitentiary every two months on the dot, and before long, they had become just another part of shawshank’s routine.

andy, however, never grew used to it.

no matter how many years had passed, every visit felt like the first. he’d smooth out the front of his collared shirt, run a hand through his sandy blonde hair, and pretend not to watch the clock.

“you’ve been looking at that clock all day. guess you knew she was comin’…” red grinned.

andy cleared his throat. “she comes every first tuesday on the second month” he stated plainly. “you’ve got a dedicated woman, that’s for sure” red snickered, gaining the attention of heywood and floyd who played checkers across the room at a small table. “you know… i’ve been hearing about this little slice of heaven alllll the years you’ve been in here, dufresne. and i’ve never once seen her. what do you say we all take a little trip down to visitation, huh? what do you say floyd?”

the country boy teased, earning the agreement of his friend and a few more of the boys nearby who had always been curious about the lovey-dovey dufresne girl who they had always heard lots about. “let’s go, fellas”

andy wasn’t much for unnecessary arguing. and so, that meant the group of inmates all went down to visitation, to lay eyes on the beautiful girl that belonged to dufresne. that girl was you.

𝜗ৎ

as the group entered the room, your eyes immediately settled on andy first. it was second nature for you. meanwhile, the rest of the men simply ogled with wide eyes. not only because you were beautiful, but because of the evident baby you were carrying that could only mean one thing to the men who truly knew andy, how long he’d been there and the timing of it all.

the men all exchanged glances. yet, after it came… nothing. nobody laughed. nobody even dared to speak. simply because andy had earned their respect.

**red’s narration : “a prison is full of gossip. where news travels faster than cigarettes. and by supper time— every man in shawshank knew andy was going to be a father.”

“funny thing was, nobody had the heart to ask how.”

𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 ౨ৎ