Starting with some doodles for the humanformer versions of both Phoenixes, Tankcrusher and Thrillchaser.

For the humanformers au, Tankcrusher and Thrillchaser are still together (There's no reason for them to break up.) and sg/Phoenix and reg/Phoenix are twins.

(The guy singing is Thrillchaser. He got a growth spurt, but Tankcrusher is still taller than him. And, this time around, Tankcrusher was the one asking Thrillchaser out. They started dating in school.)

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Just some nice looking Tankcrusher. Boy, do I love her.

It's a pity she had to die...

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I was working with expressions. If it's sg/Phoenix or reg/Phoenix is up for interpretation. (Used a picture from the internet as a reference.)

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Rodimus let out a long sigh, as he looked down at the resting youngling in his arms. How long have they been sitting in this dark hallway? It felt like an eternity. An eternity Rodimus didn’t really plan on living by sitting on the ground, but then again, every other place was better than being propped up on a chair that held no meaning to him anymore. 

Also, hadn’t he gotten up and saved Phoenix, he would have been alone on this ship again. So, sitting on the floor now and not being able to move because of his little brother resting in his arms wasn’t all that bad. It made him, for some strange reason, giddy. Dare he say, it made him even happy. 

Yes, sitting here and pretending that everything was okay for once was fine. It was fine, and Rodimus wished he could stay here for a little while longer. Simply holding his brother and pretending that they were somewhere safe and not trapped on a cursed ship, that had them trapped like two Glitch-mice in a box. 

“How long do you intend to sit there captain?”

Rodimus was quick to point his rifle towards the direction he heard the voice come from and shoot two shots. Two shots that went through the hollo-avatar to his right and hit the wall behind them. 

“Captain, is that a way to greet me?” Chastised Lightlost, as they kneeled down to be on optic height with their captain. “Especially after I made sure all those bad mechs and femmes were no-more? They were planning to kill you. You and little bird. Aren’t you glad I took care of them?”

“You….. missed… three…” Muttered Rodimus quietly, while motioning to the group of Decepticons he shot himself. “Nearly… killed………. Phoenix….” 

“You’re saying this, as if I wouldn’t be able to fix little bird, if something should happen to him. Don’t you remember that one time an exploration group shot you? I was able to patch you up afterwards too, wasn’t I?”

Lightlost had a point, and Rodimus hated to admit it. If there was one thing this twisted ship could do, then it was repairing those who should already be dead. Although, he doubted that even they could repair a mech shot point blank in the head. But he didn’t say that. Lightlost would only see it as a challenge, or worse, as an insult. Rodimus didn’t want to deal with that. It would only cause a headache. 

So, he just nodded his head. Showing Lightlost that they had won this faux argument. 

And it seemed to appease them. That was at least something.

“Now, how about you give little bird to Thrillchaser. He’ll bring him to the medibay for a quick look over, while I help you return to your chair? Sitting on the floor must be uncomfortable.” Said Lightlost with one of their sweetest smiles, which they hoped was reassuring for their captain, but it only caused Rodimus to wrap his arms tighter around Phoenix. Turning his body in the process to shield the youngling as best as he could from the approaching mech. 

Rodimus would not let a mech like Thrillchaser take Phoenix and bring him somewhere, where he was not. No way. He would rather be shot, taken apart, or anything else, before he left his brother in the hands of a mech who was known for hunting and killing anyone without mercy. 

And that was something Lightlost didn’t seem to like, because their soft smile turned into one Rodimus knew all too well. I was the one the holo-avatar would have, whenever they were on the brink of correcting him. Rodimus hated corrections, he truly hated them, but right now, his instincts were overwriting his fear. Making him act stupid and like the Rodimus who first boarded the ship. 

Which just meant that he shot Thrillchaser in the leg, buying himself time to quickly get up, Phoenix in his arms, and take a running start down the halls. Where he got the energy and strength to do so, he didn’t know. Maybe Primus or Unicron took pity on him and granted the young Prime one small blessing. And he wouldn’t even ask, because, right now, his mind was telling him to run. Run and don’t look back at the approaching Thrillchaser and the disappearing Holo-avatar. 

Rodimus was mainly following his instincts as he dodged cables and pipes, slid under one closing door or jumped over obstacles destined to trip him. And, maybe, he also had some form of luck, because he reached the hangar. 

And he fragging reached it and there was still the ship from Phoenix’s last crew! Rodimus would have laughed in relief, if he wasn’t handling many tasks at once. But at least he made it to the small ship’s entrance, before being confronted by Lightlost. They manifested their damned Holo-avatar right inside the ship’s entrance. Causing Rodimus to halt in his steps, and giving Thrillchaser enough time to catch up. 

“Where exactly are you planning to go captain?” Asked Lightlost with a smile and that same condescending voice a parent would use on their child, when the child was either misbehaving or difficult. And, in this moment, Rodimus could imagine him being both things at once.  At least he wasn’t making their life any easier. He could find some kind of humor in that fact.

“Away… anywhere….. not…. here….”

“But captain, you know how dangerous it can be outside. Do you really think the Autobots would welcome you back? I doubt that. And don’t let us forget about the Decepticons. There are whole fleets looking for you. Waiting for their chance to kill you. End your life, without a second thought.” With each spoken word, Lightlost took one more step towards Rodimus, causing the Prime to slowly walk backwards. Away from the ship and towards Thrillchaser. Who was patiently waiting for his next order from Lightlost. 

“Also, think about little bird? Do you really think they would welcome him back? No, they would probably kill him too. Maybe they will let you watch as they painfully extinguish his spark. Would you be able to watch that?” Asked Lightlost with an eerie calmness. 

And Rodimus could only shake his head at the question. No, he probably wouldn’t be able to watch that. The possibility of Phoenix dying was the only reason he was standing here now after all. No, Rodimus could never see his only light flicker one last time, before dying in front of his optic. 

This small window of hesitation was all Lightlost needed of the Prime to quickly signal Thrillchaser to go ahead with their plan. And Thrillchaser, like the obedient mech he’s become, quickly moved to the side and fired one shot at the youngling in Rodimus’ arms. Hitting a spot that, while none lethal, could kill him if left untreated. 

Rodimus’ first thought after seeing what had happened was ‘What?!’ before quickly dropping to his knees, placing Phoenix down, and trying to stop the energon from leaking out. All the while frantically looking from Thrillchaser to Lightlost and back. Why would Lightlost tell that mech to shoot at Phoenix? Why? Why would he!?

“See captain?” Asked Lightlost. “Decepticons wouldn’t think twice when given the opportunity to shoot our little bird. They would simply do it, without hesitation.” They said as if what happened was a simple outcome and not something a deranged mech would do in order to make a point in order to give a reason as to why they’re trapping him and Phoenix on this ship. 

“Now, captain, I advise you to hand Phoenix over to Thrillchaser, so that he might bring our little bird into the medibay, before he loses any more energon. Like you, I wouldn’t want Phoenix to die.” Despite wanting to take Phoenix on board the extra ship and flee, Rodimus still had to admit that Lightlost had a point. In his current state, he couldn’t ensure Phoenix’s wellbeing while flying the ship. His brother would die, before he could even call anyone for help.

So, with a heavy spark, Rodimus let Thrillchaser take Phoenix from him. All the while fixating the retreating Decepticon with a look that promised, should something happen to the youngspark, he would personally seek Thrillchaser and kill him himself. 

“I’m glad that you listened to me, captain. I would hate to have Thrillchaser hurt Phoenix even more.” Lightlost was quick to help Rodimus back on his feet, before leading him to his room. Back to his chair. And Rodimus just allowed Lightlost to lead him. To bring him back where they think he belongs, because he was worried what they would make Thrillchaser do if he was disobedient. 

Rodimus hated being corrected after all, and with the promise of Phoenix being harmed during these corrections, he started to hate them even more.

Unbeknownst to them, Phoenix was aware of what was happening. After all, there was hardly anyone who didn’t wake up when they were shot at. And it took all of the younglings willpower not to scream out in pain when he felt the plaster showt, but he did it. He managed to pretend to still be recharging. 

But hearing Lightlost left the youngling confused. 

Phoenix was sitting in Swerve’s and staring down at the Energon cube Lightlost brought him, before they left again to go and talk with Rodimus. 

Ever since the day Phoenix’s old crew boarded the ship again, Lightlost has been spending more time with Rodimus than him. Which Phoenix could understand. They have waited long for their captain to “wake-up” again, but it left the youngling in a rather strange state of mind. Maybe, with Lightlost here, Phoenix could ask them about why they would let Thrillchaser hurt him, or why it sounded like they wanted him to hurt him. To shoot him in the side, without a care if he died from the wound or not. 

So, instead of being able to ask, Phoenix spent his time thinking. And thinking he did. Granted, sometimes Phoenix did get distracted by another thought or by Thrillchaser coming into Swerve’s, taking a look at him, before leaving again. Something Phoenix found more unsettling than the look Rodimus got when Lightlost entered their shared room. It made him feel watched. As if Thrillchaser was worried that he could try and run away, or, as if he was making sure he wouldn’t scratch on his wound again.

His wound…

It still hurt sometimes when Phoenix either turned his side or bent his back wrong. Who knew that being shot in the side would hurt like it does? Okay, he did read about how much something would hurt, and which spots would render a Cybertronian useless for a long time, but reading about it was still different than experiencing it. And considering what he’s read about different blaster wounds, it will still take some time until his wound is fully healed. So, until then, Phoenix would need to take extra care of himself. No more heavy lifting and no more running down the hall at high speeds. Which means he couldn’t bring dead mechs to Swerve’s anymore or see how fast he could clean the Lost Light. 

“Just means I have to find another means of moving fast…” Muttered the youngling, as he finally took the cube of Energon into his servos. Giving it a long glance, before placing it back down with a soft sigh. 

Phoenix didn’t know why, but he no-longer felt hungry. Or better said, he didn’t feel like he wanted to refuel. Everytime he had a cube of energon standing before him, he got a strange feeling in his tanks. It almost felt like when he was back with his crew. Sometimes, some of his old crew members would put something in his Energon that got his tanks in a twist and made him unable to function correctly for, at least, two to three days. Old Man then always had to look after him, because no-one else would. 

But Phoenix knew that Lightlost wouldn’t do something like that, and Thrillchaser, apparently, listened to Lightlost. Which meant that he wouldn’t do that either, right? So, why didn’t he drink his Energon? Why was his gut telling him to let it be?

All this thinking gave Phoenix a headache. Mostly because it made no sense! He knew that he could trust everyone on this ship! He knew it! He fragging knew it… but then why wasn’t he hungry? Why was he acting like he was back with his crew? Why was he acting, as if he expected someone to come out from around the corner and hurt him? Why was he not trusting Lightlost like he used to? 

He saw Lightlost still as a parent, Phoenix was sure of that, but at the same time? The youngling didn’t know what to feel anymore. Especially around Lightlost. 

Maybe that’s why they were avoiding him now. Maybe that's why they were spending more time with Rodimus than him! They probably picked up on his uncertainty and now are planning to get rid of him! 

Maybe they will even throw him overboard, just like his last crew wanted to do!

The thought alone of losing, yet again, another crew caused Phoenix to start crying. He didn’t want to go! He didn’t want to be discarded! To be thrown away like an unwanted piece of scrap metal! And he especially didn’t want to leave Rodimus, because he saw the Prime as an older brother! Phoenix didn’t want to lose that. He didn’t! Finally he had a somewhat normal life, and he didn’t want to lose that, just because his mind was overthinking certain things!

And all this overthinking made Phoenix angry, which was another thing he didn’t like. Because being angry means that you get in trouble even more, but what was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to feel? All those thoughts were muddling together in his mind. Making him sadder and angrier with each passing minute and he couldn’t stop it! he couldn’t stop feeling like this!

So, to get at least some of those negative feelings out, Phoenix grabbed the cube of Energon and hurled it as far away from him as he could. Watching it fly through the air, before shattering against a wall and making a mess. A mess he will have to clean later, because he didn’t want to now. No. Phoenix won’t clean anything today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. No. He will get up, go back to his and Rodimus’ room and curl up underneath his blankets until all those bad thoughts go away. 

“Little bird, did you have to throw the Energon?” Asked a voice which Phoenix knew all too well. One that could usually calm him down in an instant, but today? Today it wasn’t able to calm the youngling down. No, on the contrary, it only made him even more angry. 

“YES!” Yelled Phoenix while throwing his arms up and turning around to face Lightlost. “I DON’T WANT TO REFUEL! I DON’T WANT TO! AND I MISS MY MOTHER! AND I MISS OLD MAN! I EVEN MISS MY FRAGGING OLD CREW! AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO! I DON’T KNOW! AND I HATE BEING SCOOPED UP ON THIS STUPID SHIP!” 

Phoenix, while screaming and cursing his spark out, was pressing the palms of his servos into his optics to keep some of his tears from spilling. Which meant he couldn’t see Lightlost’s surprised look, but he could hear the calm but warning tone their voice took on. 

“Phoenix, I don’t think I like your tone.” They said, to which Phoenix only let out a bitter laugh, before continuing with his rant.

“And I should care about that!? Because I fragging don’t! Why should I even!? Why would it even matter if I cared about anything, because I don’t see how it would matter! I doubt you would even care about me or anything I do!” Phoenix started walking around Swerve’s. Waving his arms around to either accentuate his point, or grab something light enough to throw it at the next wall. All the while ignoring Lightlost or his wound. No, all he cared about now was screaming out his frustrations and anger.

But Lightlost wasn’t ignoring Phoenix and how the youngling was acting. And to say that they didn’t like his disobedience or the way he indrectly insulted them, Phoenix did yell about not liking ‘this stupid ship’ quite often, would be an understatement. 

So, as soon as the youngling made another round and was close to them, they grabbed his arm. Pulling Phoenix close to them and fixing him with a look that seemed to shut the youngling’s ramblings.

“I am sorry Phoenix, but it seems like I have failed to recognize how stressful these past events must have been for you.” Lightlost said softly, before dragging him out of Swerve’s and down the halls. Halls, Phoenix didn’t recognize or has ever been to before. “It seems like those events have impacted your judgment, because I do care about you and what you do. Also, this ‘starving’ you have been doing to yourself isn’t helping you either. It only adds to your frustration and causes you to act irrational. And not only that. You’re actively ignoring your healing wound.”

Call him bratty, but Phoenix didn’t want to listen to Lightlost right now. No, he wanted to get back to Rodimus and his room. He wanted to be there and not here! That’s why he tried to get out of Lightlost’s grip. But no matter how he twisted and turned his arm, he couldn’t get away from the other. Even when he dug his heels into the ground or tried to hold onto something sticking out of the wall. Lightlost would still manage to drag him along with that titan-like hold. 

After a while of them walking along the halls of the Lost Light and Phoenix’s attempts to get out of Lightlost’s grip, Lightlost stopped in front of a room Phoenix didn’t recognize. But then again, he didn’t recognize the hallway either. 

“Phoenix, I want you to know that I don’t like doing what I am about to do. But you left me no other choice. I hope that being away from everything for a while will help you calm down. And please, don’t forget to refuel.” Said Lightlost as they pushed the youngling into the empty hab-suit. Letting him know that they will be back, once he has calmed down and decided to talk to them like a good kid, before locking the door. Leaving the youngspark alone in a room he didn’t know. 

And, for the first time since Phoenix boarded the ship, he felt alone again. Alone and forgotten. Which only added to his confusion and caused him to take apart the hab-suit. Throwing and tearing everything he could while cursing up a storm. But it seemed to help him, because after his small tantrum, Phoenix settled down on the berth together with one of the Energon cubes he found lying around. Downing it in one go, before throwing the empty cube against the opposing wall. 

And after finally refueling correctly for the first time since his old crew tried to kill him, Phoenix found himself tired. So, he curled up on the berth, hugging and making himself as small as possible, before slipping into recharge.