Loki pre-Thor 1 where he’s trying to gain Odin’s favour to become as loved as Thor.

He tries so hard to be the perfect son because he thinks it’ll make Odin love him. It doesn’t matter all the dysphoria and dysmorphia he goes through - he HAS to prove his worth.

I really want more on Loki during this period bc (as per the deleted scenes) they are a very caring person due to the neglect they have faced - with each little interaction Loki tries their best to get it right because then that might buy them some worth.

loki laufeyson + midgard clothes

thor (2011)

the avengers (2012)

And so he lets go.

I will never forgive Ragnarok for turning that into a fucking joke. Suicide or even thinking about hurting yourself is not funny. They took his identity crisis that Loki really struggled with for days and ultimately lost to and made a five second comedy bit from it. It was shit writing and just another way to dehumanize Loki and make him look a fool. That scene really made me hate the movie.

That said, I do believe that Loki loves and will always love his family. Hatred is not the opposite of love. Hatred means that your love was denied in some way or hurt in some way and, in turn, it makes you angry and hurt. If Loki didn't care he'd be indifferent. Frigga , Odin or Thor would no longer matter to him. The fact that he's capable of crying over these people who have hurt him so badly speaks volumes of the depth and breadth of his care for his family.

... He believes he hates them and it's not it. He doesn't trust them any more. It makes him furious that they lied to him about something so fundamental, so intrinsic to his very being. I think it makes him angry that he can't trust any of them. It hurts and upsets him tremendously that the people he thought the world of, are capable of such deception and harm.

Okay so, I have this Oc self insert Named Leif Freyadottir (daughter of freya, yaknow, the goddess of beauty, sex, war, and gold)

She is a shape shifter and mainly shifts into my made up creatures that I imagine only live on Asguard, but if she study’s midguard animals enough I’m sure she will get the hang of them too.

She rarely shapeshifts into humans, whenever she does there is an aspect of uncanny valley that happens because she can never get features perfect. (Loki can use his illusions to help her out with that if needed)

She is part of a higher family in asguard, so she often runs in the same social circles as the two princess. When they were young they most likely played together whenever their parents were having a dinner party.

(I’m about to write my own fic right here and now)

While Thor has always adored her and imagines her to be his future queen, she’s always her more of a soft spot for Loki. Neither of them are warriors, more prone to talk their way out of trouble than fight their way out of it.

Leif new of Thor’s fondness towards her, so when they were older (more close to the first Thor movies) with Leif and Loki being comfortable complaining about general life things together, she finally asks if he feels anything towards her that is more than friendship and kinship.

“I do, but Thor would never forgive me” (before their relationship had soured)

“It’s not his choice, he has no more claim over me than you do.”

Basically that started seeing eachother in secret. She comes by the castle more and more, Loki and she has always been close so no one though anything of it for a long while.

Good things cannot last tho, as Thors coronation draws near. Thor had told Loki that he was planning on proposing to Leif on the day of the coronation. Loki advises against it, trying and succeeding to sound as if this was merely brotherly advice.

I do need to rewatch all the Thor movies and the first avengers movie to proper slot her into the time frame, but after she had mourned his first ‘death’ by falling off the bridge, around the time of the avengers movie Thor finds out Loki is on earth. Leif refuses to let him leave without her.

So now she’s on earth and surprise surprise whose side she immediately runs to.

There is too much information in my head to write it all down in one go so I might make a second part to this at some point later with her side of the avengers movie.

(This is some old art of my first concepts of her here)

Does anyone know any Loki x reader fics that take place before or during Thor 1 where Thor is into reader and is gonna ask her out but reader is into Loki and they have been secretly dating for a while now.

In my mind Loki uses this to taunt Thor, ‘accidentally leaving doors open when he’s alone with reader knowing Thor frequently walks past those areas, letting him see their intimate moments just to prove that he is better than him in something, that he is worthy of something Thor isn’t.

Bonus points if it’s long and it goes into the avengers movie too.

(Obv doesn’t have to be exactly this because that would be kinda crazy but anything this vibe pleaassee)